Punch (9.1845)

264

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

This Engraving, from the Original Cabinet Picture in her possession, is Patriot/rait!/ Dedicated by

Her Majesty's most Faithful Subject,

Uot'cE from If^ampsfjtre on tf)F jfat (ffattir 5bf)om.

A CONSULTING COOK WANTED.

Mr. Punch, Zur,
" If you plase, ztir, I be a Hampshire Varmer. I wri'e-s to you cause
I knows you wunt mind my not beeun a scollurd, and ool excuse bad spellnn
and all that. Lookun over the peeaper 'tother market day at Winchester,
I zee a count o' the Prize Cattle Show up in Lunnun. I wanted to know
what a sed about the pigs ; whose they was and where thev come vrom.

I vound as how as there warn't a zingle hog vrom Hampshire among the | beyond tile province of the general practitioner. The countless forms of
lot'. You knows that, I dare zay, as well as I do ; and very like you be as- ' the pate also, and the interminable varieties of sauce, present complexities
tonithed at it, zummut. Telf'ee how 'tis, zur. We vofks in Hampshire which the highest culinary skill alone can grapple with. Even in tbe

Cooketiy has now assumed the rank of a science, at least as beneficial
as that of medicine ; and there should be the same subdivision of labour
in the culinary as there is in the medical profession. Common cooks, like
apothecaries, may be competent to ordinary practice ; but a consulting
cook is required in its higher branches.

There are numerous cases of entremets, for example, which are quite

breeds pigs as pigs ought to be. and dwoant goo vattenun on em up ti!
they can't wag. We sez pork ought to have lane as well as fat, and wel kes
our bihaacon strakey. Zame wi' cattle. Where's the sense or razon of

treatment of plain beef and mutton, a necessity frequently arises for
another opinion/' A turbot very often requires •'• further advice."
Family cooks may manage family dinners, but on extraordinary occasions,

•stuffun and crammun a hox till a beant veable to zee out o'his eyes ? | such as a banquet, or even a dejeuner a la fourchette, let a consulting cook
What is the u*e o' all that ere fat, I wants to know ? Who is there as j be called in. A consultation should always be held over a haunch of
ates it ? The ile cake, turmuts, manglewurzle, and cabbidge as is wasted : venison. The consulting cook ought to be a man of education, particu-
in makun one bullick a monster, ood goo to keep dree or vour fine hoxen laxly as regards modern languages, in order that he may be conversant
in good condishn. Why, zur, they med just as well fat up stags and hares : vntn the sta'e of foreign science.

and rabbuts, av, and pheasants and paatridges,vor the matter o'that, Something beyond a mere acquaintance wi-h Lde, Kitchiner, and

"Tell'ee what, Measter Punch, if, 'stead o' vlingun awav good provender ; Rundell, is required of a cook who takes the higher grade in his pro-
to turn horned animals into Danul Lamberts, they was"to bestow bread i fessiou. He should be also qualified by his attainments to mix in the best
and mate, and ta-ers,and turmuts on Christians, and make zome o* them society, in order that he may acquire that experience which can only be

a little fatter than they be, they'd do more good a precious zight: and I'm
<bound you be o' the zame opinion.

"I be, Zur, your bajient Zarvent,

"John Grouts

CURIOUS CASE OF TRANCE.
It is seldom that we hear in the present day of a state of trance con
tinuing for any considerable period. We, however, read the other day of j 2j£g-|2[ c^nplaints of joints among families. And lastly, as food is often

derived from often dining out. Of course he ought to keep his carriage
and footmen ; and it might be well if he carried a gold-headed spit. His
fee could not be less than a guinea, which, let the dyspeptic recollect,
might save several. What improvements would take place in the Waterloo
banquet, not to mention the aichiepiscopal dinners at Lambeth, and the
Lord Mayor's and other civic feasts, were they superintended by con-
sulting cooks. Their influence, moreover, would soon be felt among the
masses ; the meals of tbe community being now mostly confided to old
women, the results of whose empiricism are lamentably apparent in the

an old lady having continued asleep for upwards of ten days, and no one
was able to account for the phenomenon. At length on the eleventh
morning, while the medical men were in consultation as to the cause of
the patient's condition, a knock came to the door, and a small document
was delivered to the son of the old lady which completely explained the
mystery. The document turned out to be a newspaper bill, from which
it seemed that the old lady had been for three successive months in the
habit of reading the Morning Herald. The usual remedies were success-

preferable to medicine, the consulting cook to a great extent would super,
sede the consulting doctor.

STEREOTYPED PARAGRAPHS.

Morning Herald {every morniny). " We copy the following admirabls
article from the Standard of last night."
fully applied, but the case shows the danger of an immoderate use of strong | Standard (every evening). "The following very sensible remaru
narcotics. ! appeared this morning iu our clever contemporary, the Herald."