Punch (13.1847)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

213

THE LAMENT OF ERIN.

Alas ! for the mournful eclipse of my glory,
The loss of the name that I formerly bore,
For which I was famous in son? and in story;
Her ancient renown is poor Erin's no more !

The land of the gallant, warm-hearted, and grateful,

I once was esteem'd by the nations to be;
Malignant, unthankful, cold-blooded, and hateful,
Were words never breathed with the mention of me.

I

And whence hath my light thus disastrously faded ?

To whom must I say that I owe my disgrace ?
Not Saxon invaders have Erin degraded ;

Her shame hath been wrought by her own native race.

My children, by graceless declaimers imbruted,
And madden'd, have learned to do evil for good ;

The mouths of my sons are with slander polluted,
With slander cast back in requital for food.

My fields are ensanguined with slaughter unsparing;

By murder the noble and bountiful die,
The crime unredeem'd e'en by ruffianly daring

Deliberate, dastardly, sneaking, and' sly.

With sorrow and shame I behold, broken-hearted,
Mv once verdant shamrock now redden'd with gore;

My fair fame is tarnish'd, my glory departed :
Oh! call me, my children, Mavourneen no more !

THE FAST MAN'S PHRASE-BOOK. [ under the effect of too much "malt," in the same way that Beery is

1 expressive of the mental condition of the East Man who has partaken of
Artists have a phraseology of their own ; actors indulge in techni- too much beer,
calities only intelligible to themselves ; lawyers and conveyancers 1 Fresh is not applied to the morning air, or new-laid eggs, or ancient
practising in Field Lane, have a slang that is a dead language to others ; venison, or news, or water just brought from the pump, or a lady's
and Fast Men Likewise enjoy a verbiolosy that is only current amongst' colour, but the state of the convivial Fast Man who has been drinking
Fast Men, and never heard by any accident in respectable society. too liberally of spirituous liquors. Walk behind two Fast Men or Boys

A correspondent, who signs himself "A converted Fast Man," sends at Cremorne, and the chances are, you will hear one of them say, in a
us the following specimens of the unknown tongue of the class which lone rather proud than otherwise, "Do you know, Bill, I was a little
he has virtuously renounced:—■ ' fresh last night." It only means that he was a little " elevated." It is

Brick.—A term of extreme laudation, applied, not to buildings, but to astonishing how rich the vocabulary of the Fast Man is in terms of
human beings. To be called " a Brick," is the highest compliment a intoxication. A regular ascending scale of drunkenness—a perfect
Fast Man ever bestows. It means "a capital fellow :" viz. "Guffin ladder of inebriety—might be composed out of the abundant stock,
is a Brick," i.e. " Guffin is every night at the Casino." A " regular It will only be necessary to specify a few. The nice gradations of
Brick" is the superlative degree of "Brick;" as, for instance, a Fast meaning of these terms it would be almost impossible to explain to any
Man would call Macaulay, perhaps, " a Brick," but the Tipton but a Fast Man; and we are sure, consequently, our readers will not
Slasher, in his estimation, would be (undoubtedly) a " regular Brick." require the explanation. His drunken vocabulary comprises Lushy,
Bricksy-wicksy.—For the meaning of this choice word, the reader Screwy, Groggy, Touched, Elevated, and innumerable others, which

is requested to ask Mr. Paul Bedford.

Pump.—A term of profound contempt. A Fast Man divides the human
family into only two branches—the " Pumps " and the " Bricks."
These are the A's and Z's of the living alphabet—all the rest are
mere dead letters. Any one whose habits are opposed to those of a
Fast Man, is necessarily a " Pump." If a person will not smoke, or
sing, or drink, when asked, he is for ever stigmatised as a "Pump."
If he will not make stupid speeches, or behave himself in a ridiculous,
conspicuous manner, there is no hope for him—he is everlastingly con-
demned as a "Pump." We have no doubt that Prince Albert is
frequently anathematised by the Fast Man as a Pump, because he does
not contract debts, or build toy-palaces, or wear white kid inexpressibles,
and commit similar breaches of good taste, which earned for his blessed
Majesty, George IV., the imperishable title of " The greatest Gent in
Europe."

have been drawn by the Fast Man from a long course of experience.

Governor.—Father is a word always banished from the lips of the
Fast Man. He never uses any other word but Governor. The wonder
is, that he has invented as yet no corresponding term for Mother. The
only one for it he ever delights in is the elegant phrase of "Old Woman."

This batch of terms from the Fast Man's vocabulary is enough for
one dose. We may repeat it next week. Poison cannot be adminis-
tered too carefully. A drop or two does good occasionally, but too
much of it would kill the poor reader outright; so we will give him the
Fast Man's idioms in the smallest homoeopathic quantities.

An Awkward Possibility.

" The Law Sittings in Guildhall will be suspended until after the Polish Ball."—Dailj)
News.

Tin.—The^ Fast Man with any degree of self-respect never says. The Courts in Guildhall, for the Polish Ball,

Closed their sittings—no doubt from suspicion
That, in the hilarity, Justice and Charity
Being strangers, might come in collision.

"money." It is sometimes "blunt," occasionally "rhino," but most
frequently " tin." " Lots of tin " means a good sum of money. The
origin of this word must have been taken from the checks of a theatre,
which are expressive of so much money, and are made of tin. To hear
two Fast Men talking about " making much tin," one would imagine
they were in that particular trade, and had realised a good stock of the
commodity; but it only relates to their financial affairs

men, not measures.

The Morning Post has an article, in its usual good taste, attacking
Cleaned'Out does noTwply"toThTfa7e, or perso^'or habitation, or j Dr. Musgrave, the new Archbishop of York, for being the son of a

tailor. It appears to us that this appointment is calculated above ail

mind of the Fast Man being in a clean state ; but to his pocket having
undergone that operation. It simply means that he has no more money,
that is to say, " tin." " Stumped out" has the same elegant import,
" stumpey " being another term for money.

Malt is a comprehensive term for beer. It includes ale, porter,
stout, draught as well as bottled.

others to raise the dignity of the cloth.

SHOOTING.—To be Let, the exclusive right of Shooting over the whole
County of Tipperary for the present Season. The Game is exceedingly abundant,
consisting chiefly of Overseers, Landlords, Cess Collectors, Bailiffs, Process-Servers,
. _ .. . - Government Pay-Clerks, and occasionally a few Women and Children.—Applications to be

Malty is indicative ot the state of the rast Man who IS labouring made to Archdeacon Labtau.—No Saxon need apply.