Punch (14.1848)

34

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

* 44E R. E ■ THE-FKENCBE- A REoEENE -LANDYNGE - LOOKE-QVTE

Needs were ye tongue of Homer
To sing of Styx and Gomer,
Of ite/fe and Camte cFEut
And manie more thereto;

Of sailing ships and steamers,
Gallic cockes upon their streamers,
That against yc rosbifs mustered,
Got up their steame and blustered,

And took on boarde bataillon
" Des Francais des plus vaillans
Not fedde on beefe aud porter
As ye baser Englishe sort are,

NEW DRAMATIC SCHOOL.

The decline of the old school of actors and actresses has long been a
subject of the most dismal lamentation ; but we are glad to find that
the histrionic art still stands a chance of preservation, by the establish-
ment of a new school, under the able direction of Mrs. Glover, who is
one of the few remaining members of the old school, and one of its
brightest ornaments. If all the performers of the old school resembled
Mrs. Glover, we might indeed regret having so few of them left, and
we ought to be exceedingly obliged to her, at any rate, for taking the
trouble to give the rising generation the benefit of her tuition.

We believe a great deal of the dramatic art may be taught, and we
have therefore some hopes from the school which Mrs. Glover and
her son are on the point of establishing. We presume there will be
professors for every department, from the highest tragic to the lowest
comic ; and there will of course be classes for the examination of the
students. We can imagine Mr. Diddear at the head of an entire form
of Injured Husbands, all denouncing, in turn, some imaginary " span-
gled officer" who has dazzled the eyes of a weak-minded wife; and we
can conceive a ponderous professor of the heavy business with a whole
row of Indignant Fathers before him, repeating, in guttural chorus, some
tremendous curse on a series of Undutiful Daughters, or cutting oft' a
batch of Scapegrace Sons with a corresponding number of shillings.

But the Soubrette Class brings us to the contemplation of a more
pleasing set of objects. We can picture to ourselves the professor of
"Pert Chambermaidism," inculcating among a row of female candidates

In the present day the Clown and the Comedian must be combined: fur
a funny man whose limbs are not sufficiently supple to allow cf his
being doubled up in a bagatelle-board, or stowed away in a cellaret, with
his legs and arms occupying the holes usually assigned to the decanters,
cannot hope to be considered a funny man at all.

We must suppose that the Dramatic School will commence with first
principles in this difficult department, and revert to the old original style
of practical joking, which has been improved upon to the most wondrous
extent by our farce writers, until the once popular prank of hiding under

for histrionic fame those engaging qualities of domestic impudence
which are so common on the stage, and happily so rare in real life. A
set of examination-papers should, of course, be prepared to prove the
efficiency of the various pupils; and directions should be framed for
wheedling Old Guardians, extracting bribes from Young Lovers, and
coquetting with roguish valets—three achievements which go to the
formation of the character of the Stage Ladies' Maid.

The Practical Joke department would require the utmost attention,
for modern farces are chiefly written with a view to those effects that
once used to be considered the legitimate property of mere pantomime.

a table and upsetting it on discovery, has become commonplace in the
extreme. A necessity, however, for learning the elements of the art
will render this sort of thing desirable for young beginners, until
they are gradually educated into the more difficult accomplishments oi
creeping into clock-cases, jumping into picture-frames to be mistaken
for portraits, and giving other touches of dramatic nature, which make
the whole world grin.

We hope that a class of Walking Gentlemen will not be forgotten in
the new establishment, for the purpose of instructing lisping youths in
the amiable art of apostrophising with propriety their " Dearetht
Elitha, the thweeteth contholation of their thuff'ermg thpiriths."

The Nelson Monument.

There has been a report lately that the bronze panels intended to
ornament the base of the Nelson Column were complete, but it turns
out that the report is as baseless as the fabric itself, and that both the
one and the other are likely to remain without foundation. The artists
cannot get their designs further than the clay, and they are all sticking
in the mud in the most unsatisfactory manner. We are only afraid
that new subjects for the panels will be required; for it is probable that,
long before they are completed, the world wdl have forgotten the events
they were intended to commemorate.