Punch (16.1849)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

153

A SHOWER OF BEGGARS.

We are familiar—through the paragraphists of the press —with
showers of frogs, showers of lady-birds, showers of applause, showers of
hisses, and showers of various other objects ; but we have lately observed
that in London a shower of rain is always accompanied by a tremendous
shower of mendicants. No sooner does it begin to pour in torrents
than the streets are inundated with a perfect cataract of beggars, who
seem to imagine that the public bounty will flow in sympathy with the
watery element. There must be something quite amphibious in the
habits of the mendicant race; for they are eager at all times to avail
themselves of a thorough drenching.

They know, moreover, that there is.a vast amount of that mistaken
benevolence, which was exemplified in the conduct of the old gentle-
man, who held an umbrella over the duck in the shower of rain,
and which will also be at hand to provide the means of shelter for those
who voluntarily rush from under it when the pelting of the storm
happens to be particularly pitiless.

It is strange that those whose appearance testifies their horror of
water from the pump, should be so eager to accept it direct from the
clouds ; and we could have no great objection to the arrangement,
were it not that it leads to the placing of so many helpless infanta
in soak, for the purpose of exciting the benevolence of the public,
whose injudicious readiness to give, where a baby is in the case, leads
to an immense demand in the Begging Trade for children that are
washable, and are " warranted not to run," but will stand any quantity of
water that may be poured down upon them. If the public would show ten-
derness towards the beggar babyhood of modern Babylon, not a halfpenny
would be bestowed on those professional mendicants who expose children
as part of their stock in trade; and we may affirm with truth, that of all
the helpless infants brought out to excite compassion in a shower of
rain, not one in twentv would be exposed to the washing, if the indiscri-
minate alms-giver did not encourage the washing by providing the
coppers.

CHATELAINES FOR GENTLEMEN.

A French,fashion is now busy investing the large body of French

Egentlemen with Chatelaines. These_ do not hang, as with English
adies, from the waist, but from the waistcoat pocket. They are generally
attached to the watch—or, supposing the gentleman has no such useful
appendage for killing time, then thev are fastened to the waistcoat-
button, and allowed to dangle gracefully therefrom.

The different ornaments that are on the Hanging Committee vary, of
course, with the taste of the decorator. Sportsmen (we use the word
in its French sense), carry foxes heads, silver horse-shoes, little riding-
whips, daggers, pistols, and guns, gold race-horses with steel jockeys,
big hull dogs, and ferocious wild boars. Tigers and elephants are not
excluded, whilst we have seen a petit maitre, who, like a Boulogne
oyster, was all beard, carry nearest to his heart a huge bunch of eagles
and owls, with large carbuncles for eyes. To see these numerous
sporting Chatelaines, you would conclude that Frenchmen were of a
most ferocious nature, and spent half their lives in revolutions, and
the other half either in a battue, or a jungle. But there are also
some of a sentimental, tender nature, to please the extensive race of
Parisian Adonises. Tliis class of Chatelaines comprises two hearts tied
together like the paniers over a donkey's back, hands passionately
clasped together, tiny Cupids with bows and arrows, scent-boxes,
Abelards and Heloises in profusion, with a large sprinkling of
Psyches, Richelieus, Ventjses, and Mousquetaires.

This fashion will, of course, be finding its way over the Channel. It
will soon make a noise in Fops' Alley, and he heard in the Crush-rooms
of both Operas. Should Chatelaines be introduced ? We see no objection
to the latch-key being worn; a corkscrew might also be thrown in, and a
wire-nipper for champagne and soda-water could likewise be added, if
the collection was not important enough. These, with a small pencil
and a card-case, and perhaps a miniature betting-book to pick up
the stray odds, would be sufficient, and would, all of them, combine
ut inty with ornament; but where is the use of carrying about with you a
silver boot-jack, the size of your thumb-nail, which you could not use if
your boots pinched you ever so much ?

The articles above enumerated are to be found in the pockets of
almost every gentleman (about town), and thev may as well be worn all
together, m an easy, conspicuous place, where you can find them the
moment you want them, mstead of having, as at present, to emptv your
pockets of letters, keys, loose silver, secrets, and odd gloves, before
you can ever nnd the precise article you are in search of. If English
gentlemen ever lend themselves to Chatelaines, let the absurditv be
applied to an useful end.

WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE MARBLE ARCHP

Our active contemporary the Builder, shows a weekly anxiety
relative to the future whereabouts of the Marble Arch " removed from
the front of Buckingham Palace." The last place suggested, is the
front of the British Museum. We by no means accord with the opinion
of our friend; though we share in an intense degree in his concern for
the fate of King George the Fourth's marbles. For the Arch is a
thing of history ; pregnant with meaning in every stone, as bricks of
Babylon. We recognise the magnificent mind of Gkorge the
Fourth—his patriotic contempt of £. s. d.—his taste for the absurd
and fantastic, if only costly. The mind of the First Gentleman of
Europe was the region of gimcrack, and we would have the Marble
Arch preserved in a fitting place, as an enduring monument of the
splendour and expensiveness of the royal intellect. However, with
every respect for the opinions of the Builder, we object with all our
strength, to the front of the British Museum.

We have, on the contrary, several places to choose from in preference
to the Parish of Bloomsbury. We think the Western approach to
Holywell Street by no means a bad site for the Arch, inasmuch as it
would harmonise with the second-hand frippery that is the staple
commerce of that locality. Court-suits of frayed embroidery and tar-
nished metal associate verv pertinently with the present reputation of
George the Fourth. Think of his past bravery, his departed finery
—and what is George in history but a Royal Old Clothesman P Verily,
his reputation deals in nothing better than the past glory of the tailor
aud the laceman—a glory departed.

Piracy Beyond the Atlantic.

In its American Intelligence, the Times lately mentioned that
Mr. Macau-lfs History," in type, arrangement, and even punctuation,
precisely similar to the English edition, had been published at the price
of Is. \d. per volume. In all probability England has lost a genius.
There canoe Utile doubt as to the inventor of the title of "Mr.Ma-
cau-ly's History." We strongly suspect it must have been the original
" Bos," the celebrated Author of Oliver Twiss, If so, there is somebody
who has left his country for his country's good," though to the detri-
ment of the publisher whose property has been impudently pirated.

Burns' Justice.—Lighting an Editor's fire with rejected contri-
butions.