Punch (20.1851)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

189

SIBTHORPE'S GALLANT ATTACK ON STREET NUISANCES.

WHAT I REMAKKED AT THE EXHIBITION.

I remarked that the scene I witnessed was the grandest and most
cheerful, the brightest and most splendid show that eyes had ever
looked on since the creation of the world;—but as everybody remarked
the same thing, this remark is not of much value.

I remarked, and with a feeling of shame, that I had long hesitated
about paying three guineas—pooh-poohed—said I had seen the Queen
and Prince before, and so forth, and felt now that to behold this
spectacle, three guineas, or five guineas, or any sum of money (for I am
a man of enormous wealth) would have been cheap: and 1 remarked
how few of us know really what is good for us—have the courage of our
situations, and what a number of chances in life we throw away. I
would not part with the mere recollection of this scene for a small
annuity: and calculate that after paying my three guineas, I have the
Exhibition before me, besides being largely and actually in packet.

I remarked that a heavy packet of sandwiches which Jones begged
me to carry, and which 1 pocketed in rather a supercilious and
grumbling manner, became most pleasant friends and useful com-
panions after we had been in our places two or three hours: and I
thought to myself, that were I a lyric poet with a moral turn, I would
remark how often in the hour of our need our humble friends are
welcome and useful to us, like those dear sandwiches, which we pooh-
poohed when we did not need them.

I remarked that when the Queen bowed and courtesied, all the women
about began to cry.

I remarked how eagerly the young Prince talked with his sister-
bow charmed everybody was to see those pretty young persons walking
hand in hand with their father and mother, and how, in the midst of
any magnificence you will, what touches us most is nature and human
kindness, and what we love to witness most is love.

I remarked three Roman Catholic clergymen in the midst of the
crowd, amusing themselves with an opera-glass.

I remarked tfo myself that it was remarkable that a priest should
have an opera-glass.

_ I remarked that when the Archbishop op Canterbury was saying
his prayer, the Roman Catholic clergymen seemed no more to care than
I should if Mr. Longears was speaking in the House of Commons—
and that they looked, stared, peered over people's shoulders, and used
the opera-glass during the prayer.

I remarked that it would have been more decorous if, during that
part of the day's proceedings, the reverend gentlemen had not used the
opera-glass.

I remarked that I couldn't be paying much attention myself, else
how should I have seen the reverend gentlemen ?

I remarked my Lord Ivorystick and my Lord Ebonystick
backing all the way round the immense building before the Queen ;
and I wondered to myself how long is that sort of business going to
last ? how long will free-born men forsake the natural manner of
walking, with which God endowed them, and continue to execute this
strange and barbarous pas ? I remarked that a royal Chamberlain was
no more made to walk backwards, than a royal Coachman to sit on the
box and drive backwards. And having just been laughing at the kotoos
of honest Lord Chopstick, (the Chinese ambassador with the panto-
mime face), most of us in our gallery remarked that the performance of
Lord Ivorystick and Lord Ebonystick: was not more reasonable
than that of his Excellency Chopstick, and wished that part of the
ceremony had been left out.

I remarked in the gold cage, to which the ladies would go the first
thing, and in which the Koh-i-noor reposes, a shining thing like a lambent
oyster, which 1 admired greatly, and took to be the famous jewel. But
on a second visit I was told that that was not the jewel—that was only
the case, and the real stone was that above, which I had taken to be
an imitation in crystal.

I remarked on this, that there are many sham diamonds in this life
which pass for real, and, vice versa, many real diamonds which go
unvalued. This accounts for the non-success of those real mountains
of light, my " Sonnets on Various Occasions."

I remarked that, if I were Queen of England, I would have a piece
of this crystal set into my crown, and wear it as the most splendid
jewel of the whole diadem—that I would.

And in fact I remarked altogether—God save the Queen.

Duality of the (Protectionist) Mind.

There were two ladies present at the Protectionist meeting at Drury
Lane. These two, however, from the fact of their being only two,
created more sensation than two thousand. We know of but two ladies
who give their smiling countenances to Protectionism, and they must
have been the singular two in question. We allude, of course, to our
inseparable pair of old friends,—Mesdames Gamp and Harris. The
fact of both ladies having umbrellas with them—with which they
kept vigorously thumping the floor—fixes the identity at once. We
regret exceedingly that Mrs. Gamp was not allowed to " propodge " any-
thing.