Punch: Punch (22.1852)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

31

But what is in the Future ? Onward looking,
I see the light of Peace quenched in her hand;

Britain still sits, but sits alone, not brooking
Companionship of them that round her stand.

Her brow, that still to me was calm and clear,
Is gnarled and knit; and in her stalwart hand,

(Which wont for me the olive crown to rear,)
Behold! undrawn as yet, a mighty brand.

So sits she, hoping peace, but war not fearing;

While over-head looms a black thunder-cloud,
Out of whose bosom, to the startled hearing,

Come cannon-shot, and wail and war-cry loud.

She sees it creep from border unto border,
Sadly she marks the war within its womb;

But, trusting still in Free Speech, Law, and Order,
She sits in light, where all besides is gloom."

OUE CLUB-MAN.

The Foozle Club, January 7.

Two o'clock, p.m.—It's
all up. Graham has
been sent for—is to
be made a peer; some
say Baron Philibeg ;
some, the Earl op
Cumberland. Title
no matter—but the
sending for is a fact,
—a "great fact"—as
General Bolsover,
fiye minutes since,
with a blow upon
tbe mahogany, and a
purple countenance,
vociferated.

The Rev. Xavier
Polycarp—who has
just been presented to
the new church of St.
Dimity—has come in;
bland and smiling.
Says with Sir James
in the Cabinet, we

shall really have religious freedom. Understands that Doctor Wise-
man has a banquet on the occasion.

2£ p. m.—Jack Rumpus, of the Inner Temple—but then he will joke
—brings news, that all the Ministers have resigned—forsworn their
families—changed their names—and intend to appeal to the country on
their anonymous merits.

General Bolsover, very purple, says he does n't believe a word
of it. Strikes mahogany, and swears he should only like to catch 'em
at it.

3 p. m.—The Hon. Harry Culpepper says—if he is not egregiously
mistaken—he has passed Palmerston on the Windsor Railway, going
down. Bolsover declares, " in that case, Europe will be in a blaze;
and France in London in a month."

3| p. m.—Sir Boosby Gotobed has the best information that New-
castle has refused all offers—Graham will accept nothing—even
Granville begins to tremble—Derby intends to have a continual fit
of gout—Richmond doesn't quite see his way;—and in conclusion, Sir
B. G. asks, with a despairing look, " what is to become of this devoted
country ? "

Mr. Hampden Stubbs (he got into the Foozles on the foundation, or
never could have been admitted,) begs to ask Sir B. G. if it is his
matured opinion that " the art of Government is any peculiar secret ?
Is it, like certain quack medicines, made a mystery to gull the ignorant
and the unwary ? As there is only one sun and one moon "—(continues
Mr. Hampden S., putting his right hand under his waistcoat, in the
approved platform fashion)—" one sun and one moon to lighten, comfort,
and support the world—so also is there only one party, the Whigs—and
another party, the Tories—to govern it ? "

(General Bolsover, in his loudest manner, gives it as his private
and confirmed conviction, that a man who would speak disrespectfully
of the sun and the moon—he meant the two parties—was a Radical,
and, with his will, should be brought to a drum-head court-martial, and
shot, sir—shot!)

Mr. Hampden Stubbs (certainly not hearing the General) continues
to ask—" if there is no such element in the nation as the people ?"

(The General satirically calls for his luncheon—"Cold mutton and
small-beer,")

Mr. H. S.—" No such element as the people ? Are we not in a con-

dition of progress? And are the people—he meant the men of the
people—men like Cobden and Bright "—

(Bolsover, adding to his order, roars—"Two devilled kidneys!")
Mr. H. S.—" Are such men to bear the mark of exclusion ? Are
they to be branded, like political Cains?"

The Rev. Xavier Polycarp, taking his hat, observes, in a meek yet
firm manner, that " he has no wish to interfere with the political opi-
nions of any person—however violent and slightly rabid they may be;
but he must protest against an indiscriminate application of that name
—Mr Stubbs must know the name to which he alludes—to any secular
affair soever."

Well, then, Mr. H. S. will ask—" Is England to be governed by a
couple of families? Are we to be a realm of castes? Are the men of
the people never to enter the Cabinet ? Are Ministers to beget Minis-
ters for ever and ever ? He paused for a reply."

In which case General Bolsover, jumping to his feet, and beating
the table, declares that Mr. Fubbs or Stubbs shall have it. He (the
General) has been in India: he knows what castes are; and the thing
works well. A water-carrier begets a water-carrier—a tinker, a tinker
—a priest, a priest—a lawyer, a lawyer; and so on to the world's end.
And so it is with politics and Governments. Look at the Arab horses.
What makes 'em what they are ? Why, exclusiveness. What would
become of 'em if you were to admit dray-horses, cobs, galloways ? It's
breed that does it. Don't high politics, like high noses, run in
families? Wouldn't the blood of Pitt—if you could get it—be the
blood for a Prime Minister ? It's all blood. Let Elliotts and Greys
beget Elliotts and Greys for Downing Street—and Cobdens and
Brights, Cobdens and Brights for cotton-mills. And that's all he
has to say in the matter.

The argument of General Bolsover appears unanswerable, for it is
now five o'clock, and I've not heard another word about the Ministers.

The general opinion, however, is, that-but 1 must be silent for the

present, and merely

Remain, Mr. Punch,

Your Club-Man.

{Private and Confidential^) Sir H**** M**** has just seen one of
the Ma**s of Ho**r; and tells me that a certain Illustrious Lady has not
been in bed these three nights; but has sat up (with six wax-candles)
watching the interests of our devoted country. I say nothing: but this
I must say—Vivat Regina !

QUOD.

(According to " Gent's Grammar.")

Qood is a noun substantive, meaning a Prison.—As, for example,
the Queen's Bench is a Quod. The different cases of it—and they are
generally very hard ones—are gone through in the following manner:
though, if a person is wise, he will do much better to decline Quod
altogether.—

Nominative. Quod..... A Prison.

Genitive. Of, or belonging to, Quod . Six Months'Imprisonment.

Dative. To Quod..... Having given a Bill for a friend.

Accusative. Quod..... " Oh ! what a Fool I've been."

Vocative. O Quod..... Owe £100, or more, as the case may be.

Ablative. Generally wanting (money).

There is no plural to Quod, as a person cannot be in two, or three, or
more Quods at the same time; and it is supposed that when Quod has
been through once, nobody would be so foolish as to wish to go through
it again.

It is not known what is the origin of Quod, but it is strongly believed
that idleness lies at the root of it.

Our Naval Progress.

The Admiralty for ever! The other day, according to the Times,
the Meg^ra steamer

" Put into Plymouth in a thoroughly disabled state, unable to proceed with the 1st
battalion of the Rifle Brigade to the Cape of Good Hope."

No doubt the Riflemen put back again as (see Lempriere) they took
ship—in a Fury. _

Food for Foreign Powder.

The British troops are all picked men; but since they now-a-days
neither know how to ride nor fire, or, if they do, have horses that won't
go and muskets that won't carry straight, the circumstance in question
will not appear until they get into action and are picked—off by the
enemy.

Rather Equivocal.

A Morning Paper, in an article on the Paris Exchange, says—

" On the Bourse, at the opening, a rumour had been artfully got up that the President
had been fired at, and with such success as to have caused a fall."

Of which ? President or prices ?