Punch: Punch (22.1852)

104

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

DISTURBED BY THE NIGHTMARE; A SILLY HOAX.

Suggested by the New Ministry.

A VOICE FROM THE LUGGAGE VAN.

Sentiment in connection with the shoulder-knot is nothing alto-
gether new, but the pathos of the porter's knot has all the startling
interest of complete novelty. One Bill Bates, who has lately retired
from a Railway platform, where he has been accustomed to the
lugging about of luggage, has taken his farewell in the following
touching circular. It is so good, that we cannot resist the temptation
to print it entire.

"William Bates, in quitting the service of the 'London and South-Western
Railway Company,' in whose employment he has now been six years, desires to
express to the passengers on that Line (and particularly to those from the Twickenham
Station), his gratitude for the urbanity and kindness with which they have ever
treated him in the discharge of his duties; and trusts that their approval of his
conduct, during the time he has been known to them in his past service, will follow
him throughout life—in whatever position he may hereafter occupy.
" Twickenham, February, 1852."

There is something exquisitely affecting in the enlarged sense of
gratitude felt by Bates towards all the passengers on the South-
western Railway—including, of course, its various branches and loops
—for the " urbanity and kindness" they have ever shown him in the
discharge of his duties. We do not quite understand how the dis-
charge of a porter's duties could call forth " urbanity from the public; "
but we presume that he never disencumbered a traveller of his carpet-
bag without an interchange of those courtesies which give grace to
social intercourse. There is a nice touch of discrimination in the
expression of particular gratitude towards those from the Twickenham
Station, whom he seems to regard as the residuary legatees of all the
finest feelings of his nature. He, however, proposes to lead the
travellers on the line a "pretty dance," when he expresses a hope that
they will "follow him throughout life, in whatever position he may
hereafter occupy."

It is expecting, we fear, too much from the public at large, to hope
that ever and anon the question " Where is Bill Bates ? " will force
itself on the mind, and lead to the searching of him out, that he may
be still praised for the achievements of his long-past porter-hood. We
are rather surprised that he should have retired so abruptly into private

life, without some preliminary announcement of his intention; and,
indeed, he might have followed the theatrical practice in quitting
the Railway platform or stage , by going once through the round of his
favourite performances. He might have advertised his last appearance,
as the "Man with the Carpet-bag; " or taken his farewell of the
passengers in a grand luggage delivery, on an extensive scale, for his
own benefit.

A FIDDLE-PAT TERN CLERGYMAN.

There was once a saint called Chrysostom—Saint Goldmotjth, as
we should say in the vernacular. Our modern establishment can boast
of a man of metal—now that California and Australia have comparatively
cheapened gold—not much inferior. The existence of this holy
personage is revealed by the Ecclesiastical Gazette, in an advertisement
setting forth, that

AN M.A., Oxon, who has heen in Orders eleven years, and during that
time has received Five Public Testimonials of Plate, wishes for a CURACY in
an agricultural district. Sole charge preferred.

For a clergyman of such worth in plate as this, we would propose, as
a parallel to the name of Chrysostom above mentioned, the title of
Silvermtjg. We cannot, however, help thinking that " Five Public
Testimonials of Plate" are not_ quite so obvious a qualification for a
curacy in an agricultural district, as they are for the situation of
a butler ; and it seems that their possessor would be less likely to shine
in the Church than in the dinner or tea service.

Awkward Mistake.

Fortunately not made in a Pantomime.

A Clown, designing to enter a Rifle Corps, called on Loed Blanke,
Colonel of the 999th, and saying he understood that his Lordship was a
clothing Colonel, begged the noble Lord to measure him for a uniform
of invisible green.__

The Asiatic Mystery.—Disraeli being Chancellor of the Ex-
chequer.