Punch: Punch (23.1852)

224

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

WELL INTENDED, NO DOUBT.

Quaker to British Lion. " There, friend ! Now let me put away those

Dangerous Vanities !"

AN INVITATION TO THE PBOUD INVADER.

That dove of peace, Edmund Fry, coos from 35, Broad
Street Buildings, very denouncingly of the Militia-men.
In other places the force has made itself especially popular;
and the good manners and sobriety of the men have been
emphatically acknowledged. Nevertheless, the militia are
hateful in the eyes of Fry, who glares at a red coat like
any bull. Moreover he has discovered that, as one militia-
man has been tried for burglary, a yearning for felony must,
consequently, pervade the whole force. This is not liberal
of Fry, so tolerant of the intentions of foreigners; and so
hard-judging of his own countrymen. Indeed, his tolerance
may be considered as something extraordinary. It is a
fact known to his friends that, should the French invade
us, Fry is prepared to carry out his principles of non-
resistance, by going to bed—even with the French army in
London—with his door on the latch. As a further illustra-
tion of his confiding spirit, let us suggest that he should
write on his door-post—"Bubbish shot here."

CBITICA.L MOMENTS.

The newspaper musical criticisms are by no means so
remarkable for " learning" as they used to be, and, though
the change is certainly for the better in some respects,
we must nevertheless admit that the absence of the
obscurity which used to prevail is likely to be felt by those
who think that mystery and unintelligioility are sources of
critical sublimity. We are afraid we have rather dis-
heartened the more recondite gentlemen of the press by our
own displays of " learning " in musical matters, and since
we have shown our scholarship in criticising the per-
formances of the promenade (street) concerts, we have
missed, in the criticisms on Jullien's concerts, that pro-
fundity which used to admit of our tumbling out of our
depth into flats and sharps of the most acute point and
counterpoint.

THE CHAMBERLAIN AND THE CLOWNS.

The gentlemen engaged at the various theatres to perform the
arduous and very responsible part of Clown in the forthcoming
Christmas pantomimes had an audience last week of the Lord
Chamberlain. The event has hitherto not been noticed in the Court
Circular, for which, probably, his lordship has his own reasons. Mr.
Punch, however, has been favoured with what he believes to be a punc-
tiliously correct account of the interview.

His lordship received the Clowns very graciously; jocosely remark-
ing that he considered them the embodied " gaiety of nations." He
was old enough to remember, when a child, Hot Codlins as sung by the
immortal Grimaldi ; whose Tippitywitchet (by the bye, Walpole gave
it capitally, sneezes and all, at the last whitebait dinner) would "never
from his mind." With this, his lordship waved the deputation to seats.
Being seated, one ol the Clowns, with true holiday unction cried " Here
we are ! " A shout of laughter followed, in which his lordship joined.

His lordship then observed that he had given them the required
audience that—as they had appealed to him against certain erasures in
the Christmas pantomimes—they might talk the matter over. His
lordship would begin with the pantomime of the Adelphi.

Adelphi Clown. Well, the fact is, my lord, you've cut me out of
all my fat—all my fat. Look here, your lordship. This scene where I
rob a sausage-maker's, and with the sausage—

Lord Chamberlain. I must say, once and for all, we eannot allow the
introduction of sausages. The Emperor or Fra—that is, the Prince
President—of whom we continue to receive the most friendly
assurances, might mis-interpret sausages. Just now, sausages are full
of politics as pig's-meat. Positively, no sausages. Pass to the next.

Olympic Clown. Here's my scene, my lord. My scene with the
telescope, where I'm to look into the moon and—

Lord Chamberlain. Inadmissible, sir: inadmissible. The meaning is
not to be mistaken. Telescope—moon—" looming in the future." Out
it goes The next ?

Sadler's Wells Clown. Your lordship, if I'm cut out of my scene with
the chaney-shop, I may as well throw up the part. Without it, 't won't
be worth so much dog's-meat.

Lord Chamberlain. What tcene is that P

Sadler's Wells Clown. Why, my lord, the scene where the bull runs
on chasing the old woman in a red cloak, and pitching her into a
chaney-shop, where—

Lord Chamberlain. If there can be anything more offensive than
another, it is that scene. The bull, John Bull—old woman in red

cloak. Doctor Wiseman. Now, my good man, don't attempt to
explain. Such is the meaning of that scene ; and we cannot have the
noble, the exalting uses of the British Theatre perverted into engines
of political warfare. The next, if you please ?

Standard Clown. Well, mv lord, this I must ax. Why am I to be
cut out of my minivet with the bear—

Lord Chamberlain. In deference to Russia. Silence. Go on.

Surrey Clown. And why ain't I to pitch the broom-girl into the
brewer's wat—

Lord Chamberlain. Because Austria might feel the allusion and
withdraw her ambassador.

Finally, the Lord Chamberlain refused to re-consider his opinions;
and the deputation broke up, the Clowns protesting that if they were
thus restricted in their profession, they would have nothing for it but
to leave Her Majesty's Ministers to get up and play in the
pantomimes themselves.

AMABUM ALIQUID.

The late Lord Mayor (Hunter), in resigning thb Civic mace,
expressed his delight that it would descend on the head of a gentleman
(Challis) so admirably qualified to receive it. We really think the Civic
dignitaries should be a little more particular in what they say about each
other, for, if we were ill-naturedly disposed, we might ask why the
head of the new Lord Mayor is so especially fitted for the descent of
a huge mace upon it, and whether there is a peculiar thickness in the
heads of the City which enables them to come into contact with
ponderous instruments, and be none the worse for the collision ? Tli6
late Lord Mayor congratulated himself also on giving up the insignia
without a stain; from which we infer that the gold trappings of the
Mayoralty were subjected to a severe leathering, and a vigorous
polishing of the plate-brush, before they were transferred from the neck
of the late to the shoulders of the new potentate.

A National Affront.

The proposition to make Louis Napoleon Emperor of the French
is to be addressed to the people by what they call a Senatus Consultum,
but which we consider will not so much consult 'em as insult 'em.

The First Light Chariot.—The Chariot of the Sun.