Punch (92.1887)

I-

162

PUNCH, OKI THE LONDON CHARIYAEI.

[April 2, 1887.

WINDOW STUDIES.-A QUIET PIPE.

(In Rpmembrancr of March, 1887.)

THE OLD HAND.

The old Stonewall Country! How many times more
Shall we plunge o'er its uplands and pound o'er its flits ?

"Whilst the riders deolare the whole business a bore,
And the nags, could they speak, would cry " Plague on the Pats!'

"Who, with little regard for their bellows or bones,

Left their country half bogland, and hedged it with stones.

Hark forward ? Oh, yes, it is all mighty fine,
But the cheery old cry sounds like mockery here.

The business is one in the Sisyphus line,
And " no forrader " tottles it, year after year;

For no Spectre Hunt, doomed for ever to run,

Has so much hard labour with so little fun.

How many a field has been squandered and stuck!

How many a "flyer" has here come to grief !
The course has no charm and the rider no luck.

He's already half-pounded, this black-bearded Chief,
If looks count for aught; and he now has to face
The nastiest wall in the nastiest place.

Howe'er the field start, 'tis a destiny drear
That this nasty one fronts them ere far they have gone.

All roads lead to Rome, and all races lead here.
The man who can clear it, or even stick on,

Is one in a hundred; to live through the shock

Needs a hand like a feather, a seat like a rock.

Hasi he got them, our friend with the black-a-vised face ?

That remains to be Been, but one's hopes are not high.
Here so many a crack finds he's out of the race,

With his back m the bog and his face to the sky.
He here came a cropper, Old Hand though he be,
Who stands by looking eager the issue to see.

He is not in this race, he seems " out of the hunt "
But full many a time he has led a fair field • '

Of pace and of peril he bore the full brunt, '
Always anxious to start, never willing to yield.

But the Old Hand's last Bpill was a smasher no end,

And now he looks on, as a dashed candid friend.

Oh! awfully candid, chock-full of good-will.

His heart would, of course, thrill with earnest regret
If the latest New Hand should here meet with a spill.

A real "rough-rider " has not tried it yet;
This one claims to be good at the " resolute " style,
And the Old 'uu awaits the result with a smile.

" Nasty place! " mutters he. " Know it only too well.

I hope you may like it. You chaffed me of old;
What d'ye think of it now, my magnificent swell,

Whose talk, when you're not in the pigskin, 's so bold ?
Whew! he's fair oa the slope, he's slap on to that wall, —
1 trust he will clear it. I hope he won't fall! "

LUBBOCK'S NATIONAL RACE DICTIONARY.

(Specimen Extracts.)

Smiths. A Scottish family that originally lived in Ireland, when
it was known as England. After settling in Sweden, they came
back to the country of their birth, and subsequently took up their
quarters in North Britain.

Stuarts. An Irish family of English origin, originally settled in
Normandy, from whence they came to Wales. This race is popularly
but improperly considered to belong to the land lying to the North
of the Tweed. Many of the Kings of England were exclusively
Scotch until, in the time of James the First, they became, by
the amalgamation of the two crowns, Irish.

SuLLiVAifs. An English family living in North Britain before
Scotland became Ireland. The members of this ancient race are
celebrated for the purity of their Anglo-Saxon accent; and, so strong
is their sense of nationality, that even when they are born in Ireland
for centuries, they still remain British by birth.

A Scribe on Scribner.—Scribner's for April is a right good
number. Everyone will thoroughly enjoy the first instalment of
Thackeray's Letters. They are all addressed to the Rev. W. H.
Brookfield and Mrs. Brookeield, and commenoe even before Vanity
Fair was brought out, and Titmarsh became famous. The curiously
neat handwriting is occasionally given in fac-simile, and the letters
are illustrated by views and reproductions of the writer's sketches.
The Scribnerian venture improves as it progresses; the Thackeray
Letters alone are well worth the price of the number.