Punch / Almanack: Punch / Almanack (1845)

ljlk St. 9t)Utn—£t Jlames—ascension

Cart-ikon i.ihht»oiise constkuctkd for the. Bermuda Islands,
being a novel kind of niyht-light for ships in the bed of the sea.

ofenjno of trafalgar SaUABK — thk fountains incomflete.

The Nelson Committee might have redeemed their credit, had they
_ _ [put the water up the sjiout.

Sunoap.

■,, The hermit ok thb ninetkknth century. A gentleman takes a
«2JKv ) b£j^ i„ private box for the season at Miss Kelly's Theatre.

St. John toe fcoanoflist.

Twenty-eigut Jewish WKiiniNGs soi.RMNiSKn on this day. There's QQ't?
the effects of the Hebrew persuasion! \Zo -T

A YOUNG LADY TAKES THB VEIL AT BlSHOFWEARMOUTB. and is Bun thejl^^' ^

17
18

Discovert op coi*. An eminent antist having left a painting with
Moon, findB in his pocket three silver and two copper coina of the
£tmOap. [«i«n* of Vict, and Geo. 4.

St. JBunstan.

L. Brougham amps a ct.au sb to thb Law caster Hail Bill, to secure

himself park-gatks. Give him the gates, if he'll alter his styU !
Prihcb op "Walks elected governor op the Blue-coat School
9 1 -AVj " Mind, my boyB 1 no larks with the Governor."

w ! Dinner to Sir H. Hardingb from the B. L Dirkctoro. Sir Henry
92iTH( beinp snug in hisbcrth, the Directors Rive htm a good tuck in.
_ ± _ 'Irish attorneys reduce fees to members of the bar onr-half.

19'M
20,1b

worse for it.

Shower-baths used as punishment in Boston Gaol, u. S., nick-
named by American rogues as the " wishy-washy-ujicious-wash'us"
1 a o Extraordinary Longevity. There is at present a man at work on thej
X U kJ Hnngerfbrd Bridge, who, as a boy, witnessed the laying of its first
SUtltfap [stone. He is in full possession of all his faculties.

princk jotnville publishes his pamphlet in which he menaces

England. Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Eitrfme Liberality.—We'll give yon a conundrum—no, we won't.*
| we'll owe it you.

"W"iThb German Diet proposes measures to put down gaming at

watrring-pl4ces. On 1 that Bad'un Bad'un. (Did you ever !)
T"l>' Juvbwilb delinquency. " Young England" publishes its " Con-
AH| ingnby"

*P iThb "Webster prizb op j£B00 awarded to the comedy op r Quia pro
I Quo** " Quid pro Quo " wins the prize, and the manager draws a Ha nk.

2513

26'M

27\Tv

28jW

29jTH

30 F

31'S

The attorneys propose a treat of " something short at the bar.'
Strange scene in a theatre. Last night, during Mr. C. Kean's
" Macbeth," a sailor jumped upon the stage, and seizing the. dagger,
[said " he'd stand no more of Mb nonsense."

Sttrttaj.

St. augustttu.

JunoBS dinb at tbi Mansion House. With Magnay's larder, very
baa judges to go there.

Eton Montem—And a begging we will go-e-go-e go 1

And a beggingwe will go-oh 1—Old Song.

A riECB of flats presented to Ml. JBunn. This large piece of plate
really originated in a few spoons.

Foolish humour of O'Conneli.'s marriage. Doesn't many, but
remains devoted to Silly Bessy—(celibacy). {JokeReceived with groans/)

Extraordinary Gooseberry. An innkeeper at Richmond has such
an extraordinary gooseberry-tree, that one of its berries makes a bot-
tle of champagne.

Bubbles of tbe Year.—Testimonials to Managers.

ornithological debut.

The Cuckoo makes its first appearance before a British public
early in spring, and trusts to that indulgence which an English
audience is never known to withhold from strange birds, who come in
the character of foreign vocalists.

directions kor finding a policeman.

Look down every urea in the street; if you do not by accident see
one, ring the bell and inquire if the policeman is in the kitchen. Repeat
this at every door, and you cannot fail eventually to fiad one.

guide to the race course.

Young ladies are recommended to take plenty of gloves witli them to
races, as the Jockey Club rigidly enforces the payment of all bets.
Berlins are the cheapest. Last season's gloves, however, can be cleaned
at 3d. a pair, aud this is a capital opportunity to get them off your hands.

Settling day takes place at Tattersali's three days after the race, when
you must pay up your kids, or else be published as a defaulter.

BOILING.

I The boiling point varies in different localities, in Belgrave and
Grosvenor Squares, May Fair, and Spring Gardens, the pot can
I hardly be boiled under 3000X a year. Whereas up at Camden Town
j the pot will boil at 1507. or 200/.; and about St. Giles's or Spitalfields,
j at 7s. or 8s. per week.

HOURS OF REST*.

Archbishop Williams used to sleep only three hours out of the four-
!and-twenty. Sewell & Cross's young man, when he went half-price
i to the play and wound up at the Cider Cellars, returning to take down
; the shutters at eight in the morning, never slept at all; so that on such
I occasions as these he beat the Archbishop hollow.