DOI issue:
January to June, 1844
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16519#0050
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
If you approve of what the judges do,
I '11 say no judges are so good as you.
We do our best to execute the laws,
But let your verdict kindly be (clapping his hands) applause.
Bell rings, and the Curtain falls.
bisposition OF the characters at the fall of the curtain '-
Policemen. The Public. Witnesses. Ushers, &c. &c.
Traversers. Associates. Jurt. Counsel.
Attorney and Solicitor-General.
Pcisnb Judges. Chief Justice. Puisne Judges.
orisms antf lUflcctt'ons.
(not from macntsh.)
ea and Yarmouth bloaters,—chops
and stout, Welsh rabbits and whiskey
—such is a day !
How beautiful is Nature ! From
the sun in his noon-tide glory, to the
humble glimmer of the glowworm '
Wha* painter could faithfully depict
the rainbow colouring of a convales-
cent black eye I
As Comfort to the afflicted spirit,
so is the hat-brush to the ruffled
gossamer.
Perseverance and Industry will ul-
timately obtam life's leg of mutton,
be the pole on which it is elevated
■never so greasy ; and the carefully-soaped tail of the pig of prosperity
seldom eludes the grasp of well-directed assiduity.
Seldom do we meet with a more striking instance of the pursuit of
knowledge under difficulties, than when we see a blind man industriously
endeavouring to decipher in the dark the unintelligible hieroglyphics of
bygone ages.
WAKLEY'S LAST.
The verdant sunbeam gaily sweeps
O'er Peckham's mosques and minarets
The moss-grey sapling fondly weeps
Over the daisied lake, whose jets
Perfume the hours and deck the air,
And make fair Nature still more fair.
Uprising, see the fitful lark
Unfold his pinion to the stream,
The pensive watch-dog's mellow bark
O'ershades yon cottage iike a dream,—
The playful duck and warbling bee,
Hop gaily on from tree to tree.
How calmly could my spirit rest
Beneath yon primrose-bell, so blue,
And watch those airy oxen, drest
In every tint of purling hue,
As on they hurl the gladsome plough,
While fairy Zephyrs deck each bough !
THE GIBBS' TESTIMONIAL.
We understand it is in contemplation to present to Alderman Gibbs
a testimonial, in commemoration of his having at length made up his
accounts. It is to consist of a long column with Egyptian hieroglyphics
Tunning from the top to the bottom, and terminating at the top in a
finely chiselled figure of St. Stephen presenting the Alderman with a draft
;for eighteen hundred pounds, while Mercury is tearing out, from the
bosom of Time, some unintelligible papers marked "vouchers." On
the top is a weathercock, the four points of the compass being marked
'by the figures of four auditors, while the alderman himself acts as the nave in
the centre, round which the auditors are revolving.
Triumph of the British Constitution.
An unfortunate calf destined for sausage-meat, having been found on a
butcher's premises, in a condition said to be unfit for human food, was
sent for into the police-office yard, that the magistrate himself might
.iudgeofit. This glorious privilege awarded to the calf, of being tried
•by one of his own peers, is quite in conformity with the splendid provi-
sions of our unparalleled Constitution !
"LADY L.'s JOURNAL OF A VISIT TO FOREIGN
COURTS."
As this soul-stirring publication is about to be continued, and as it
has formed the subject of conversation in the very highest circles, we
hasten to lay before the public a letter on the subject from a most
distinguished leader of ton :—
letter from lady JUDY punch to her grace the duchess of
jenkins.
What malheur ajflige my dear Duchess ? I looked for you in vain
last night at Lady Smithfield's. I sent Lord P. to all your accustomed
stjours of
l hotel de l aigle,
Route de la Cite ; la Maison de la Conduite Blanche ; le Chateau de
Jean de la Paille, a Hampstead—in vain—your Grace was absent.
The nobles of the land were without their brightest ornament; and
the dear Duke of JeDkins (who joined us afterwards) was seen at his
club taking his ordinary rafraichissement of moitit et moitie alone. Can
it be that the blanchissage (as stated) required your presence elsewhere \
One of your <lear children told me you had sold your micanique d
repasser. Well, cara mia, as soon as that bisogna is completed, come to
the faithful arms of your Giuditta. Lord P. shall be your cavaliere.
With what joy does he ever receive news of the dear Duke and
your Grace !
My love, I have cent mille chases d vous dire—a hundred thousand,
positively. I wish to consult you about the sweetest pink bonnet, aux
airottes ; about such a tocque, en velours tp'niyle aux choux de Bruxelks '
Above all, to talk to you about Lady L.'s Journal. Mv love, the
whole town is positively mad about it. I give you my parole d' lionnmr
quite folk. If you could have heard Lady Barbican last night, quite
tvere-ing with envy at the Marchioness's success—if you could have
witnessed the enthusiasm of Percy Aldersgate (Lord Smithfield's
son, you know)—and poor dear Lord Billingsgate's raptures of joy !
" Her Ladyship," said he, turning round to little Frank Ludgate (of
the Farrii.^don family), who was at cards with the three odious
Aldermanbury girls, "has done honour to her country and her class!
We thank her — the noblesse of England thank her. She has
enabled us to show the vile roturiers, and low newspaper-creatures,
that the aristocracy of England is superior to them with the pen, as
in every other way. She has shown that we are of a different
order of beings—a superior one—and, in so doing, has only performed
the duty of a British Peeress—the duty of us all. We must stand
by our order, my Lords and Ladies. I, for my part, never move
without having my rank, my order, I proudly say my caste, in 'my
eye.'"
"I wonder he mentioned it," said downright old Lady Friarbridge ;
at which bluff" Lord St. Paul's nodded his head waggishly. In a
word, my dear, it was voted that the Journal should be read instantly
for the benefit of the company assembled ; and, as 'tis known that
your darling husband the Duke can spell the longest words without
hesitating, he was unanimously selected to fill the office of lecteur.
Arabella Minory gracefully brought and snuffed the chandelU de
mouton for the dear Duke, who, refreshing himself with a sip of a
delicious sorbet au geniecre, began as follows : —
"Saturday, August 22, 1840.—Among the various vexations of life (I mean not to
include the real ills, but to speak of the numberless trifles that irritate and annor onej
If you approve of what the judges do,
I '11 say no judges are so good as you.
We do our best to execute the laws,
But let your verdict kindly be (clapping his hands) applause.
Bell rings, and the Curtain falls.
bisposition OF the characters at the fall of the curtain '-
Policemen. The Public. Witnesses. Ushers, &c. &c.
Traversers. Associates. Jurt. Counsel.
Attorney and Solicitor-General.
Pcisnb Judges. Chief Justice. Puisne Judges.
orisms antf lUflcctt'ons.
(not from macntsh.)
ea and Yarmouth bloaters,—chops
and stout, Welsh rabbits and whiskey
—such is a day !
How beautiful is Nature ! From
the sun in his noon-tide glory, to the
humble glimmer of the glowworm '
Wha* painter could faithfully depict
the rainbow colouring of a convales-
cent black eye I
As Comfort to the afflicted spirit,
so is the hat-brush to the ruffled
gossamer.
Perseverance and Industry will ul-
timately obtam life's leg of mutton,
be the pole on which it is elevated
■never so greasy ; and the carefully-soaped tail of the pig of prosperity
seldom eludes the grasp of well-directed assiduity.
Seldom do we meet with a more striking instance of the pursuit of
knowledge under difficulties, than when we see a blind man industriously
endeavouring to decipher in the dark the unintelligible hieroglyphics of
bygone ages.
WAKLEY'S LAST.
The verdant sunbeam gaily sweeps
O'er Peckham's mosques and minarets
The moss-grey sapling fondly weeps
Over the daisied lake, whose jets
Perfume the hours and deck the air,
And make fair Nature still more fair.
Uprising, see the fitful lark
Unfold his pinion to the stream,
The pensive watch-dog's mellow bark
O'ershades yon cottage iike a dream,—
The playful duck and warbling bee,
Hop gaily on from tree to tree.
How calmly could my spirit rest
Beneath yon primrose-bell, so blue,
And watch those airy oxen, drest
In every tint of purling hue,
As on they hurl the gladsome plough,
While fairy Zephyrs deck each bough !
THE GIBBS' TESTIMONIAL.
We understand it is in contemplation to present to Alderman Gibbs
a testimonial, in commemoration of his having at length made up his
accounts. It is to consist of a long column with Egyptian hieroglyphics
Tunning from the top to the bottom, and terminating at the top in a
finely chiselled figure of St. Stephen presenting the Alderman with a draft
;for eighteen hundred pounds, while Mercury is tearing out, from the
bosom of Time, some unintelligible papers marked "vouchers." On
the top is a weathercock, the four points of the compass being marked
'by the figures of four auditors, while the alderman himself acts as the nave in
the centre, round which the auditors are revolving.
Triumph of the British Constitution.
An unfortunate calf destined for sausage-meat, having been found on a
butcher's premises, in a condition said to be unfit for human food, was
sent for into the police-office yard, that the magistrate himself might
.iudgeofit. This glorious privilege awarded to the calf, of being tried
•by one of his own peers, is quite in conformity with the splendid provi-
sions of our unparalleled Constitution !
"LADY L.'s JOURNAL OF A VISIT TO FOREIGN
COURTS."
As this soul-stirring publication is about to be continued, and as it
has formed the subject of conversation in the very highest circles, we
hasten to lay before the public a letter on the subject from a most
distinguished leader of ton :—
letter from lady JUDY punch to her grace the duchess of
jenkins.
What malheur ajflige my dear Duchess ? I looked for you in vain
last night at Lady Smithfield's. I sent Lord P. to all your accustomed
stjours of
l hotel de l aigle,
Route de la Cite ; la Maison de la Conduite Blanche ; le Chateau de
Jean de la Paille, a Hampstead—in vain—your Grace was absent.
The nobles of the land were without their brightest ornament; and
the dear Duke of JeDkins (who joined us afterwards) was seen at his
club taking his ordinary rafraichissement of moitit et moitie alone. Can
it be that the blanchissage (as stated) required your presence elsewhere \
One of your <lear children told me you had sold your micanique d
repasser. Well, cara mia, as soon as that bisogna is completed, come to
the faithful arms of your Giuditta. Lord P. shall be your cavaliere.
With what joy does he ever receive news of the dear Duke and
your Grace !
My love, I have cent mille chases d vous dire—a hundred thousand,
positively. I wish to consult you about the sweetest pink bonnet, aux
airottes ; about such a tocque, en velours tp'niyle aux choux de Bruxelks '
Above all, to talk to you about Lady L.'s Journal. Mv love, the
whole town is positively mad about it. I give you my parole d' lionnmr
quite folk. If you could have heard Lady Barbican last night, quite
tvere-ing with envy at the Marchioness's success—if you could have
witnessed the enthusiasm of Percy Aldersgate (Lord Smithfield's
son, you know)—and poor dear Lord Billingsgate's raptures of joy !
" Her Ladyship," said he, turning round to little Frank Ludgate (of
the Farrii.^don family), who was at cards with the three odious
Aldermanbury girls, "has done honour to her country and her class!
We thank her — the noblesse of England thank her. She has
enabled us to show the vile roturiers, and low newspaper-creatures,
that the aristocracy of England is superior to them with the pen, as
in every other way. She has shown that we are of a different
order of beings—a superior one—and, in so doing, has only performed
the duty of a British Peeress—the duty of us all. We must stand
by our order, my Lords and Ladies. I, for my part, never move
without having my rank, my order, I proudly say my caste, in 'my
eye.'"
"I wonder he mentioned it," said downright old Lady Friarbridge ;
at which bluff" Lord St. Paul's nodded his head waggishly. In a
word, my dear, it was voted that the Journal should be read instantly
for the benefit of the company assembled ; and, as 'tis known that
your darling husband the Duke can spell the longest words without
hesitating, he was unanimously selected to fill the office of lecteur.
Arabella Minory gracefully brought and snuffed the chandelU de
mouton for the dear Duke, who, refreshing himself with a sip of a
delicious sorbet au geniecre, began as follows : —
"Saturday, August 22, 1840.—Among the various vexations of life (I mean not to
include the real ills, but to speak of the numberless trifles that irritate and annor onej