DOI issue:
January to June, 1844
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16519#0101
104 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Irew a papier mache box from his pocket, tapped it, took a pencil, and
said nothing. I again stated my terms, hut he thrust his hands to the
bottom of his trousers pocket, and gave a long whistle. Nothing daunted,
I again demanded the fifteen shillings ; upon which my antagonist drew
his right hand from his pocket, and fixing the thumb firmly on his nose,
moved the fingers with amazing celerity. I perfectly understood the sign,
as I remembered Herbert making use of it, when a brutal cabmau asked
two-pence more than his fare.
" I retreated, but it was like a Parthian, with the resolution of con-
quest. To a tavern opposite I went, where the flat roof of the ground
floor is elegantly fitted out with benches and tables, all in the open air, at
once allowing one to inhale the fresh breeze of Heaven, and to take a
commanding view of the street. I could keep my eyes on the Saloon,
and—what was of more importance—the manager could see me. I called
for a glass of rum and water, my favourite beverage you know, and
watched the proceedings of the enemy. Presently he emerged from his
domicile, and gave me a full stare ; but I affected not to see him. He
crossed the road. My heart palpitated at the thought of victory. I heard
a few heavy steps—and lo ! the terrible manager was at my elbow.
I did not raise my eyes, but appeared marvellously intent on the little
piece of lemon which floated on the surface of the liquor, and which
I every now and then plunged down with my spoon. " I have come
to offer twelve shillings a week ! " said the well-known voice.—" Walker ! "
I ejaculated playfully, committing a plagiarism, which you will pardon, on
dear Herbert's vocabulary. " Well, then," said the manager, " take the
whole fifteen shillings, and--." The coarse expression, which my pen
refuses to write, did not annoy me. I felt that I had gained my point,
and to the female heart what so delightful as conquest ?
" That very evening I made my debill. I was not a little nervous as to
the result. I had, to be sure, my best Tartan dress ; but how was I to
know whether the people in this part of the world could appreciate the
" Fling." Through a hole in the curtain I surveyed my audience. There
were several honest-looking men dressed with regard rather to substan-
tiality than fashion. When the curtain rose I shook off my nervousness,
and dashed on the stage with my well-known buoyancy. For a few moments
there was a silence : my heart sunk, but my courage was quickly restored
The cries of " She 11 do !"—« Bravo ! "—« Well, I'm blow'ed," burst
from every corner, and your beloved Jemima, after curtseying to her
audience, deeply suffused with blushes, was compelled to repeat her
characteristic pas. With this record of my triumph I close my letter.
•' Adieu, dearest Letitia,
" Jemima."
Heyday, here's a pretty business ! A letter from Miss Jemima Spriggs
herself, declaring that the above was not written by her at all. What
are we to do ? We have it ! We will put in Miss Jemima's private letter ;
so that the public ma}' have the poison and the antidote together.
" Mister Punch,
" i ave eard that a letter as been sent to you, sed to be ritt by
me to wun Miss Letishur, of whum on my hoth, I no nothin, wich is ily
improper, has the letter his calculated to plai hold gusberry with my
purfeshun, you will have the civilty to leave it hout, and no mistake.
" Yours faithfuly,
" jEMIiLi SPRIGS."
^Tijfatcc Hoyal, (Eobent (Sartnm.
The Council of the Anti Corn-Law League having taken this
SPLENDID NATIONAL ESTABLISHMENT,
it will henceforth be devoted to the production of a
Rapid Succession of Wovelties,
which will be supported by all the usual talent of the League, in addition
to
THE CELEBRATED IRISH ACTOR,
MR. DANIEL O'CON N.E i_
who has been engaged at an enormous sacrifice, and who will go through
his
ASTONISHING ROUND OF CHARACTERS.
Among the earliest productions will be a new version of the
TALES OF MY LANDLORD.
And it is probable that
A New farce, by Sir Eobe:'1: Peel,
under the very peculiar title of
TOTAL REPEAL,
will be among the accepted novelties.
In answer to numerous inquiries it is respectfully announced that
Lord John Russell's favourite Interlude, called
FIXED DUTY,
will not at present be brought forward.
The whole of the arrangements not being yet completed, the Council
can only furnish the following partial
Iiist of the Company:—
Heavy Old Man . . . Mr. Hume.
Eccentric Comedy . . Sir Chas. Napiell.
Juvenile Tragedian . . Mr. Cobden.
Walking Gentleman . . . Mr. James Wiasom.
In order to render the Buffo Department as complete as possible,
An Engagement will be offered to Lord Brougham.
Further particulars will be announced in future Bills.
To the NOBILITY & GENTRY—A BABY WANTED !
In the limes of the 22nd ult., was the following touching advertise-
ment ; —
TO the NOBILITY and GENTRY—As Wet-Nurse.—,4 lady, who
has two children, intending to give her btiby, a month old, to her mother, who lives
at a distance, and wishes to adopt it, would be happy to take a CHILD to wet-
nurse. Any parents or guardians placing their child with her may rely on its receiv-
ing the greatest possible kindness and care ; a nursemaid is kept, and the child would
have the benefit of going to the sea in the season ; the lady is young, and has plenty of
milk. (Here follows the address.)
Beautiful is liberality—more beautiful are the instincts of maternal
tenderness! Here is a woman (a real " lady,") in the handsomest
way "gives her baby, a month old, to her mother : " relatives inter-
change presents of sucking-pigs and geese with equal cordiality.
The mother wishes " to adopt " her own grandchild ; to turn it, as it
were, into her own baby, sinking the grandmother in the mamma
herself. Whereupon the bereaved mother (" with plenty of milk,"
doubtless that of human kindness included) looks towards the
nobility and gentry for consolation, and will take a "child to wet-
nurse," (if with a title, doubtless the better,) treating it with the
"greatest possible kindness and care," the suckling defrauded of its
rightful breast having been adopted by grandmamma ! We really trust
that some newly-made mother of the nobility or gentry will respond
to " C. E. B." (for such are her initials.) Should she, however, be
disappointed in obtaining so sweet and endearing a recommendation
to the notice of any of the nobility or gentry,—we have not the
slightest doubt that " C. E. B." can be accommodated with a baby to
suckle on a proper application at any of the Unions.
GENTLEMEN JEWS" AND PUNCH.
man certainly looks awkward, even when called
upon by dulness itself, to explain his joke,
Punch is at this moment in such predicament,
In the Number before last, Punch wrote what
indeed he thought a small, yet very pretty
piece of satire, on those times when our
ancestors conceived that they best aired their
Christianity by persecuting the Jews. We
therein observed that the world still held to-
gether, albeit compelled to forego those pre-
judices which, in the opinions of some, hooped
society about, and made it whole. We made,
as we thought, a good fling at the brutality
and ignorance of The Morning Post for its many sins against the tribe of
Israel, (though we did not particularize its infamous support of that
brutal madman of Russia in his conduct towards the suffering
Hebrew). Well, for this, our misunderstood satire, a " Jew " com-
plains to the Times, the Chronicle, and lastly to ourselves ; and that
in serious condemnation of " the grossuess of language " and
"malice" of what, in the innocency of our heart, we thought a
rap on the knuckles of by-gone bigotry and present uncharitable-
ness. We beg of a " Jew " to read us again under the direction of
some quick-witted friend ; then, are we certain, he will be sorry
for the bitter words with which he has bespattered us. In our
sufferings, however, we have illustrious company. Great men, even
before Punch, have been misunderstood and reviled by dulness for
their best intentions. One Daniel Defoe wrote A Short Way with the
Dissenters, satirically advocating their social rights ; when his leathern-
eared clients read" him backwards, and would have sacrificed their
champion. When Gulliver's Travels were first published, did not
a certain Bishop condemn the work as a book of lies, avowing that
"he didn't believe a word of it?" Shall Punch,^ then, complain,
even when in his " trumpery sphere," as Sidney Smith would say,
he advocates the common rights and liberties of the Hebrew, and
yet for such advocacy is arraigned of "malice, prejudice, and
jealousy," even by "a Jew ?"
Irew a papier mache box from his pocket, tapped it, took a pencil, and
said nothing. I again stated my terms, hut he thrust his hands to the
bottom of his trousers pocket, and gave a long whistle. Nothing daunted,
I again demanded the fifteen shillings ; upon which my antagonist drew
his right hand from his pocket, and fixing the thumb firmly on his nose,
moved the fingers with amazing celerity. I perfectly understood the sign,
as I remembered Herbert making use of it, when a brutal cabmau asked
two-pence more than his fare.
" I retreated, but it was like a Parthian, with the resolution of con-
quest. To a tavern opposite I went, where the flat roof of the ground
floor is elegantly fitted out with benches and tables, all in the open air, at
once allowing one to inhale the fresh breeze of Heaven, and to take a
commanding view of the street. I could keep my eyes on the Saloon,
and—what was of more importance—the manager could see me. I called
for a glass of rum and water, my favourite beverage you know, and
watched the proceedings of the enemy. Presently he emerged from his
domicile, and gave me a full stare ; but I affected not to see him. He
crossed the road. My heart palpitated at the thought of victory. I heard
a few heavy steps—and lo ! the terrible manager was at my elbow.
I did not raise my eyes, but appeared marvellously intent on the little
piece of lemon which floated on the surface of the liquor, and which
I every now and then plunged down with my spoon. " I have come
to offer twelve shillings a week ! " said the well-known voice.—" Walker ! "
I ejaculated playfully, committing a plagiarism, which you will pardon, on
dear Herbert's vocabulary. " Well, then," said the manager, " take the
whole fifteen shillings, and--." The coarse expression, which my pen
refuses to write, did not annoy me. I felt that I had gained my point,
and to the female heart what so delightful as conquest ?
" That very evening I made my debill. I was not a little nervous as to
the result. I had, to be sure, my best Tartan dress ; but how was I to
know whether the people in this part of the world could appreciate the
" Fling." Through a hole in the curtain I surveyed my audience. There
were several honest-looking men dressed with regard rather to substan-
tiality than fashion. When the curtain rose I shook off my nervousness,
and dashed on the stage with my well-known buoyancy. For a few moments
there was a silence : my heart sunk, but my courage was quickly restored
The cries of " She 11 do !"—« Bravo ! "—« Well, I'm blow'ed," burst
from every corner, and your beloved Jemima, after curtseying to her
audience, deeply suffused with blushes, was compelled to repeat her
characteristic pas. With this record of my triumph I close my letter.
•' Adieu, dearest Letitia,
" Jemima."
Heyday, here's a pretty business ! A letter from Miss Jemima Spriggs
herself, declaring that the above was not written by her at all. What
are we to do ? We have it ! We will put in Miss Jemima's private letter ;
so that the public ma}' have the poison and the antidote together.
" Mister Punch,
" i ave eard that a letter as been sent to you, sed to be ritt by
me to wun Miss Letishur, of whum on my hoth, I no nothin, wich is ily
improper, has the letter his calculated to plai hold gusberry with my
purfeshun, you will have the civilty to leave it hout, and no mistake.
" Yours faithfuly,
" jEMIiLi SPRIGS."
^Tijfatcc Hoyal, (Eobent (Sartnm.
The Council of the Anti Corn-Law League having taken this
SPLENDID NATIONAL ESTABLISHMENT,
it will henceforth be devoted to the production of a
Rapid Succession of Wovelties,
which will be supported by all the usual talent of the League, in addition
to
THE CELEBRATED IRISH ACTOR,
MR. DANIEL O'CON N.E i_
who has been engaged at an enormous sacrifice, and who will go through
his
ASTONISHING ROUND OF CHARACTERS.
Among the earliest productions will be a new version of the
TALES OF MY LANDLORD.
And it is probable that
A New farce, by Sir Eobe:'1: Peel,
under the very peculiar title of
TOTAL REPEAL,
will be among the accepted novelties.
In answer to numerous inquiries it is respectfully announced that
Lord John Russell's favourite Interlude, called
FIXED DUTY,
will not at present be brought forward.
The whole of the arrangements not being yet completed, the Council
can only furnish the following partial
Iiist of the Company:—
Heavy Old Man . . . Mr. Hume.
Eccentric Comedy . . Sir Chas. Napiell.
Juvenile Tragedian . . Mr. Cobden.
Walking Gentleman . . . Mr. James Wiasom.
In order to render the Buffo Department as complete as possible,
An Engagement will be offered to Lord Brougham.
Further particulars will be announced in future Bills.
To the NOBILITY & GENTRY—A BABY WANTED !
In the limes of the 22nd ult., was the following touching advertise-
ment ; —
TO the NOBILITY and GENTRY—As Wet-Nurse.—,4 lady, who
has two children, intending to give her btiby, a month old, to her mother, who lives
at a distance, and wishes to adopt it, would be happy to take a CHILD to wet-
nurse. Any parents or guardians placing their child with her may rely on its receiv-
ing the greatest possible kindness and care ; a nursemaid is kept, and the child would
have the benefit of going to the sea in the season ; the lady is young, and has plenty of
milk. (Here follows the address.)
Beautiful is liberality—more beautiful are the instincts of maternal
tenderness! Here is a woman (a real " lady,") in the handsomest
way "gives her baby, a month old, to her mother : " relatives inter-
change presents of sucking-pigs and geese with equal cordiality.
The mother wishes " to adopt " her own grandchild ; to turn it, as it
were, into her own baby, sinking the grandmother in the mamma
herself. Whereupon the bereaved mother (" with plenty of milk,"
doubtless that of human kindness included) looks towards the
nobility and gentry for consolation, and will take a "child to wet-
nurse," (if with a title, doubtless the better,) treating it with the
"greatest possible kindness and care," the suckling defrauded of its
rightful breast having been adopted by grandmamma ! We really trust
that some newly-made mother of the nobility or gentry will respond
to " C. E. B." (for such are her initials.) Should she, however, be
disappointed in obtaining so sweet and endearing a recommendation
to the notice of any of the nobility or gentry,—we have not the
slightest doubt that " C. E. B." can be accommodated with a baby to
suckle on a proper application at any of the Unions.
GENTLEMEN JEWS" AND PUNCH.
man certainly looks awkward, even when called
upon by dulness itself, to explain his joke,
Punch is at this moment in such predicament,
In the Number before last, Punch wrote what
indeed he thought a small, yet very pretty
piece of satire, on those times when our
ancestors conceived that they best aired their
Christianity by persecuting the Jews. We
therein observed that the world still held to-
gether, albeit compelled to forego those pre-
judices which, in the opinions of some, hooped
society about, and made it whole. We made,
as we thought, a good fling at the brutality
and ignorance of The Morning Post for its many sins against the tribe of
Israel, (though we did not particularize its infamous support of that
brutal madman of Russia in his conduct towards the suffering
Hebrew). Well, for this, our misunderstood satire, a " Jew " com-
plains to the Times, the Chronicle, and lastly to ourselves ; and that
in serious condemnation of " the grossuess of language " and
"malice" of what, in the innocency of our heart, we thought a
rap on the knuckles of by-gone bigotry and present uncharitable-
ness. We beg of a " Jew " to read us again under the direction of
some quick-witted friend ; then, are we certain, he will be sorry
for the bitter words with which he has bespattered us. In our
sufferings, however, we have illustrious company. Great men, even
before Punch, have been misunderstood and reviled by dulness for
their best intentions. One Daniel Defoe wrote A Short Way with the
Dissenters, satirically advocating their social rights ; when his leathern-
eared clients read" him backwards, and would have sacrificed their
champion. When Gulliver's Travels were first published, did not
a certain Bishop condemn the work as a book of lies, avowing that
"he didn't believe a word of it?" Shall Punch,^ then, complain,
even when in his " trumpery sphere," as Sidney Smith would say,
he advocates the common rights and liberties of the Hebrew, and
yet for such advocacy is arraigned of "malice, prejudice, and
jealousy," even by "a Jew ?"