Punch: Punch (6.1844)

140

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

j Levantine, say yellow with blue or pink sleeves, and richl*
HINTS FOR A NEW ORDER OF CHIVALRY. embroidered on the shoulder with the Crest of the Order—A>

Swan, plongeant, in dirty water, witn its black-leys up in the air_
On Collar days, a necklace of threadied horse-shoes, with the
Badge, viz., a regular Cross, with a Horse's Head, hard held, in»
the centre, and encircled by the Motto, " Tlie Race is not to the
Swift"

Second Class.— A short mantle and hood, of drab horse-cloth,
bound with red. The hood to come over the head and face down>
to the tip of the nose, with two large round holes for the eyes*.
The Collar, an equestrian one, of leather, with a ring of bells*
Badge, the Hand-in-hand, with the Motto, u Nob and Snob."

Third Class. — The best costume they can buy, beg, steal,
borrow, or make. On Collar days, a Horse's Halter round the
neck, with the Badge, A Thimble encircled by a Garter, with,
the Motto, " Indemnity for the Past, and Security for tlu Future."

The number of Knights of the First Class to be equal to that
of the Commanders, Naval and Military, who for eminent-
public Services, have been rewarded with the Ribbons and.
Crosses of the Bath.

The number of the Second and Third Classes to be limited
only by the Accommodation afforded to them by the Subscrip-
tion Booms, Yards, Corners, Courses, Rings, Grand Stands, and
Standing-Room, or what is commonly called the Turf.

The vigilant eye of Punch, ever watching the various phases of society,
has observed with intense interest the creation of a new Privileged Class,
solemnly recognised by the Peers of the Realm in Parliament assembled,
and invested with the peculiar power of breaking the Law without
incurring its penalties. So lofty a prerogative at once approaches the
class in question to our proudest Nobility ; with whom it only remains
to associate them more intimately by some Honorary Insignia, akin to
those which decorate the shoulder, breast, and leg of a Norfolk, a Somerset,
or a Richmond.

Accordingly, Punch, ardently invoking the assistance of Garter, Lion,
Ulster, and Clarencieux, begs most humbly and deferentially to suggest
to the Fountain of all Honour the following propositions :

That there be instituted a New Order, to be called the Most Honour-
able and Aristocratic Order of the Turf: the members of which,
commonly known as Sporting Men, shall have the exclusive privilege of
Betting, to any amount, on the
Race Course, or at the Corner, on
any day of the week, with abso-
lute impunity ; and in the face of
any laws, Divine or Human, now
extant or to be hereafter enacted,
for the Prevention of Gambling,
or for the Better Obser\ance of
the Sabbath.

That there be a Second Class,
to be called Companions of the
Most Honourable and Aristocratic
Order of the Turf; and that
Tradesmen be admissible as Com-
panions.

That there be also a Third Class,
to be called Companions of the
Companions of the Most Honour-
able and Aristocratic Order of the
Turf ; and that grooms, jockeys,
stable-boys, keepers of E. 0. and
roulette tables, and gambling-
booths ; thimble-riggers, sporting
pettifoggers, coachmen and cads,
licensed and unlicensed victuallers,
the members of the Fancy in gene-
ral, and the Swell Mob, be eligible
as Companions of the Companions.

That the three several Classes
shall each wear an appropriate
Costume, with Insignia, as follows:

First Class. — A round Cap, of
party-coloured silk, with a large
bhade in front, and a gilt horseball
on the top. The Mantle to be of

BALLADS OF THE HEART.

My heart is like a withered nut,

Its surface do not trust,
Though smooth and sound it seems when shut,

Within is only dust.

When time the crackers shall apply,

The world will know too well,
The thousand memories that lie

EnkernelPd in the shell.

But wherefore should I murmur thus i

The world is very wide ;
My heart shall be an omnibus,

And carry twelve inside.

'Tis true, that on the way, perchance,

Some to drop off begin ;
But can we not as we advance,

Take many others in 2

Some hearts, like cabs, besides themselves,

To one or two incline ;
But omnibuses carry twelves,

Such be this heart of mine !

A CHANCE FOR BROUGHAM.

Lord Brougham finding the 2000/. presidency of the Privy
Council Amendment Bill to be—what is technically termed
—" no go," intends, we believe, making an effort to get an
appointment under the Ecclesiastical Jurisdiction Act. As we
perceive the Court of Peculiars is to be reconstructed, we think
that the very peculiar conduct of Lord Brougham points him
out as the very fittest person to act as President of the Court
alluded to.

A NEW ROBKSPIEllHE !
The Mprning Post more than hints that Tom Buncombe—wh&,
since the O'Connell banquet, has been wholly given up by his
aristocratic friends —may be considered as the future Robespierre.
It is not generally known, adds (or might add) the Post, that Mr
Duncombe is so deeply imbued with the horrid principles of the
French monster, that he invariably has his hair cut by means of a
toy guillotine.

Ministers keep tneir Appointments.

The Ministerial Papers announce that "the Postmaster-General
intends resigning, as soon as arrangements are perfected for his
successor " The rumour is rife that Rowland Hill has beer,
appointed ; but this honourable method of rewarding merit wonla
be introducing such a novelty into the system of ministerial appoint-
ments, that we must say we do not believe it. If this were established
as a precedent, How could Sir Robert Peri, form a Ministrv i