Punch (7.1844)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

11

SIR PETER LAURIE, THE LORD MAYOR, AND THE
KING OF SAXONY.

ating closely watched the treatment experienced by
Saxony, since he has been in London, we declare
it beats anything that has been recorded in the
whole annals of coolness. The courtesies of life
and the book of etiquette have been utterly set
at defiance. The other day his broad-clothian
Majesty was invited to take what was termed in
the note of invitation une snacke (a snack) with
Magnay. The Lord Mayor and the King had
scarcely taken a mouthful of the sandwiches,
of which the repast consisted, when three men
—a beadle and two others—rushe€ precipitately
into the room, the beadle exclaiming vehemently,
'; A Deputation ! " while the other two men tum-
bled almost into the Lord Mayor's plate, and
caused him to drop his knife and fork, until
he had ascertained comment le chat voudrait definitivement sauter how the
cat would ultimately jump). At length it was explained, in a sort of patois
of German, French," English, and Italian, that the intruders were Sir Peter
Laurie, and Mr. MastermaN, the M. P., who, pioneered by one of those
mercenaries that bear the name of beadle, had come under the guise of a
deputation to invite the King of Saxony to give eclat to the inauguration
of the Wellington statue, of which the first toe had been laid on a pre-
vious occasion. An enormous row then ensued between the Lord Mayor
and Sir Peter, the latter trying to pull Saxony out of his place by what
is usually termed the scurf of the neck, and the former holding him
down by the small of his back with anxious vehemence. It was decidedly
a case of Boulanger v. Diable, till at last the intruding trio giving
a long pull, a strong pull, and a pull altogether, fairly hoisted Saxony
out of his seat, and hurrying him down the stairs of the Mansion House,
got him into the Poultry, where Magnay, smarting from defeat, came
to terms with Sir Peter—simply stipulating for the right of walking
arm-in-arm with his guest as far as the Royal Exchange, where the statue
was to be inaugurated. We can fancy the indignant tone in which the
future historian will record this strange event. The following will be
the mode in which some paulo post-futuro Hume, or preter-plu-perfect
Smollett wiil describe the transaction by which our remarks have been
elicited.

" At this period the destinies of the city were swayed by one Magnay,
who united with a strong love of display an utter distaste for the expense
which necessarily attended it. One day he was sitting over a frugal
repast with the King of Saxony, when one Laurie, who had originally
made saddles for the soldiery, rushed into the apartment, dragging in one
of the city members by the arm, and attended by one of his mercenaries
—a beadle of desperate fortunes. Magnay, who, it was suspected, might
not be altogether displeased by the interruption offered to the meal,
sprang from his chair with well-dissembled rage, according to some ;
while, according to others, he was really vexed at the banquet being
broken in upon. The unhappy monarch was then torn from his chair,
and dragged through the streets by the arm, amid the shouts of the
assembled populace. Laurie, who appeared to be in league with one
Masterman, and the executors of an individual named Chantrey—
a worker in stone—conducted the insulted Sovereign to an open space,
where he was compelled to listen to a long harangue in a foreign tongue,
which, as he could not understand, he did not attempt to appreciate. The
wretched and degraded monarch was then led back to the Mansion
House, where he was suffered to finish his interrupted meal, with an
appetite which rendered him for the remainder of the day an object of
aversion even to the man who professed to be entertaining him."

TO GOVERNESSES OF " DECIDED PIETY.'

Submarine Operations.

We are happy to hear that several of the troops are being drilled to go
under water ; and as it is thought not quite so well " to send them to the
bottom without an object," they are instructed to pick up anything they
can lay their hands upon. Corporal Splash has captured a blacking bottle,
and Private Pubbs has been tremendously successful in bringing up
repeated handfuls of oyster shells, amid the cheers of his gallant comrades.

We have not yet heard the use that the aquatic troops will be put to,
in the event of their being brought into action. The general impression is,
that they will be armed with gimlets, and that their duty will be to bore
holes in the bottoms of the ships of the enemy.

APPROPRIATE INSCRIPTION.
We understand that the memorable words Napoleon addressed to his
soldiers aboat the Pyramids are to be inscribed, with one alteration, on
both the towers of Hungerford Bridge : " Du haul de res tours quarante
siecles vous regardent"; this being supposed to be the time they will take
before the building is completely finished.

In the advertisement pages of The Ecangelical Magazine for the pre-
sent month, will be found the subjoined :—

WANTED, a YOUNG PERSON, of decided piety, about 22 years of
age, to TAKE the CHARGE of, and Educate, THREE CHILDREN, under 12
years. She must be capable of imparting a sound English education, with French ana
Music! Any one who would feel anxious for the welfare of the children,will be treated
as one of the family, and may realize the comforts of a home. Salary Si. per annum.
Every application must contain real name and address (post-paid). Direct G. i., al
Mr. Bruce's, Stationer, Trump-street, King-street, Cheapside.

There is little doubt that " G. I." will obtain an instructress.
" anxious for the welfare of his children ;" at least, equally anxious
as their devoted parent, seeing that he is ready to sacrifice " 8?. pe;
annum," that is, 21. 13s. Ad. per head for their sound English educa-
tion, with French and Music !

There is certainly this little alloy in the golden offer ; namely, that
the governess will absolutely be treated as " one of the family j" for,
reader, consider ichat a family !

However, " G. I ," by his yearnings for " decided piety" has inte-
rested us. We are anxious that, for his magnificent 87. per annum—
(by the way, what may he give the boy who cleans the knives and
forks ?)—he should have the very best instruction for his babes pur-
chaseable by so liberal a sum. There is much philanthropy as well
as paternal love in this HI. per annum ; every shilling of it speaks the
benevolence of " G. I." Yes ! we hear at least one hundred and
sixty silver voices, crying altogether, " What a Christian !"

Let us consider what sort of reading, in the way of an English
education, would harmonise with the apparent spirit of "G. I.," as
developed in his advertisement. Would not daily lectures on the
beauties of Blifil comfort the parental heart \ And if he have not
forsworn the drama as a pestilent thing, might not an occasional
reading of the Hypocrite, with a frequent disquisition on the worldly
wisdom of the excellent Mil. Scrooge, be, in the judgment of " G.I.,"
admirably adapted to form the mind of his children after the excel-
lent model of their father ']

As for French, we propose a frequent reading of that part of Gil
Blas, in which Ambroise de Lamela so often visits a church that
he may more seeurely rob his master ; together with a frequent
perusal of Robert Macaire, in all his inimitable ingenuities.

And next for Music : let the governess, at £8 per annum, choose
for her general theme the air of " This cold, flinty rock," occasionally
varied with, "Tie was despised among men."

Excellent " G. I."! Would we could have his portrait! Yet,
wherefore the wish ? Do we not see him, ay, as plainly as the
ink-marks before us ? Does not the reader behold him ? Nay,
peruse his advertisement once more ; and now is he visible in the
sheet, as though done by Jack Leech himself. Look at him ! Hath
he not a sulphur-tinted cheek—a crop of hair, smooth and shining as
court-plaister, over his inch-deep brow—and an eye expressly made
to shudder at carnal sins and bad shillings ?

And this very man is of the set of men who, believing they be-
lieve in the Bible, think the human heart is poor worldly vanity,
altogether extra of the sacred book. They have every respect for
religion in a fine large type, but for the daily religion between man
and man—for that sense of justice which abhors oppressive chaffering
with the needy—that refuses to drive its hard, relentless, Shylock
bargain, with female dependence,—oh, that is a feeling out of their
creed, a something for the scribblers of romance and the writers of
profane verse to rave about !

Yet, doubtless, is " G. I." a devout christian. Yes, sure we are,
that after a charity sermon at the Magdalen, he would meekly
hold the plate at the door, sweetly unconscious of the victims that
such as he, with their Pharisaic "piety," drive to a soul and body-
killing commerce in the dreadful street. Q.

Fasnionable Intelligence.

The example set by the Ladies of Fashion, who are getting up a
Waverley Ball, will, we understand, be followed by the dashing Mrs. Fitz-
jones, who intends giving a series of Quadrilles and Country Dances,
illustrative of some of the principal rules in Murray's Grammar. There
will be a fraud tableau of the tenses, and a magnificent procession of the
moods, concluding with a reel by the degrees of comparison, and a galop
by all the cases. A bolero by the pronouns is expected to prove very
effective, and it is understood that Lord Brougham will be present as the
article indefinite.