DOI Heft:
July to December, 1844
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16520#0147
140
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
course, be under no obligations to the sexton of Wholehog-cain- j
Applesauce. COURSE OF STUDY FOR A PRINCE.
And now, sir, to conclude : idu have, among you, placed me in _
Chancery. There 1 shall remain, and take the cast of the dice,
What! do you think I would call in accountants and so end the
matter \ I should think not. You know not how sweet to me is the
hubbub I have made. When folks can't afford real turtle, they make
themselves as comfortable as possible with mock ; for callipee and
callipash they content themselves with plain calf's-head. In like
way with other men, if they are not able to make a high reputation,
they will at least, by hook or by crook, lay hold of notoriety. Now,
reputation to notoriety is what real turtle is to mock. If I am con- i
tented with the humbler dish—with the mere calf s-head—I best show |
my humility, and at the same time remain,
Your obedient humble servant,
Ebenezeii Guipps,
The following course of study is recommended for a young Prince J
and distinguished examples prove it to be highly princely ;—
1. Philosophy.
Lectures on Taste, in connexion with Court and Military Uniforms, to
THE N EW EXC HAN G E.
HER MAJESTY IN THE CITY.
^?lh> I1E QUEEN and Prince Albert are to
~^^f /&^\ T^S^"^- dine in the City on the opening of
the Royal Exchange. It may not
lSlQW\SSSpW^0^ be generally known that the City is
indebted for this glory to the persever-
ance and great moral energy of Mr.
Lajibert Jones, who seems to have
a peculiar genius for drawing out
crowned heads. It was his indomi-
table politeness—aided and abetted j be delivered by profess0rs Moses and Wilson ; the latter gentleman
by the kindred spirit of Laurie—that j to unQertake the principles, and the former their application,
dragged the King of Saxony, with I _;_
his unmunched luncheon in his- 2. Natural History.
mouth from the Mansion House to Lectures on the Canine Species ; with peculiar reference to its more
confront the Wellington Statue 1 nondescript varieties ; as to the Physiology of the Turnspit, the Uses of
-. £ . , __ii „ . •> • . fl,„ the Pug, and the Habits and Manners of the Poodle. The Lecturer
on its first exposure to the world; and we repeat it is to the £ appointed by the Parliamentarv Dog Committee, who mav
invincible courtesy of Jones that the C.ty owes the forthcoming J him frQm the venders of ihe animals ^ 'egtion Wq
visit of Queen Victoria. Indeed, it was found impossible by her i jrec.uent tne Q.uaQraut.
Majesty to withstand the invitation of Jones, who some days since j ' 3 Architecture.
flung himself into the Slough third-class train, and taking omnibus for ' A Discourse 0Q Foundati'on.8toneSi with Directions for ravine them,
and a Dissertation on the Gilt Trowel, with the Mode of Handling thereof.
This Punch will be happy to deliver himself ; and he would introduce a
Disquisition on Perfumed Mortar, which he hopes would blend entertahi-
Windsor, proceeded to the Castle. Having pulled the bell, and
given a double knock at her Majesty's door, Jones gave in his card,
desiring an instant interview with the Q.ueen. To the astonishment
of the f King of the City " his card was refused, and he was unceremo- j ment with novelty.
niously bid to go about his business. A weaker spirit would have | 4. Languages.
quailed beneath this rebuff. Not so, Lambert Jones. He imme- The Application of the English Tongue to the Answering of Addresses
diately retired to the Garter Hotel, and there penned a letter to the , of Congratulation. An Essay, to be composed by the joint efforts of the
Queen, of which letter Jones has, in the most handsome manner, Cabinet.
favoured us with the subjoined copy :— 5. Accomplishments.
Instruction in Dancing and Deportment, by some Nobleman of course ;
« Parlour oj the Garter Hotel, d j ld ive jt better than Baron Nathan !
« My very dear Madam, ffrindsor, September —. Instruction in Music. Preceptor, M. Jullien undoubtedly.
" I—that is—we of the City are about to open our New Exchange, ; Instruction in Riding—especially as exhibited in the Clearing of Five-
a fine building, a very fine building, I assure you. You will be particu- , barred Gates—need we propose our Widdicombe for Tutor!
larly struck by the figures which I have had perched about it, as a sort of < Instruction in Field-sports, by the prototype—whoever he is—of Ma.
exercise for the dull intellects of my fellow-citizens. As yet, nobody but Dickens's Winkle.
myself knows what they mean, and, between you and me, the secret shall) Punch wdl be satisfied with a moderate sinecure for the above
die with me. However, to business. j suggestions.
" On the day of opening, we intend to get up a little dinner ; and I j
need not say, my very dear Madam, how much it will delight me, and
indeed the whole City, if on that day you will take pot-luck with us. Come,
MOSES ATtfD O'COOTIELL.
and bring your Husband and Children with you—there shall be room i Punch,
enough for all, and nobody shall be more welcome. , ' the ate " martyr » ban^f' * >e Rev. tte ULwmsx rashly
« Say you will come, and I will meet yourself and amiable family at i observed that « the mant e of Moses had fa len upon O Connell. Now,
the Paddington Station at any hour you may name. I au*. as d'e reverend gentleman could not by possibility mean any other
« It was my intention to have personally "invited you, but the people at 1 la» 0U1' fil'm, we here beg leave to state that we have never made mantle,
the Castle, strangely enough, denied me admittance. I 1 therefore retired cloak> or a»)' thing else for the said Daniel O Connell.
to this hostelry, and in a pint of brown sherry drank your health and the Your obedient servants,
rest of the Royal Family. Minories. Moses and Son.
" Trusting, my dear Madam, that it may harmonize with your many p g. We have, however, an elegant assortment of strait-waistcoate,
arrangements to pick a bit with us on the day appointed, which we beg to recommend to the attention of the friends of Mr, Henrt
" I remain, yours, very truly, I Grattan !
" Lambert Jones. ---1-
" P. S. An early answer is desired." the harvesx in the mansion house.
It is reported there is a capital crop of grass this year in the Lord
Mayor's kitchen. His Lordship, however, will not commence cutting
Morbid Taste.—Some one has been writing a letter, and signing it
with the name of Alderman Gib3s !
before the 9th of November.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
course, be under no obligations to the sexton of Wholehog-cain- j
Applesauce. COURSE OF STUDY FOR A PRINCE.
And now, sir, to conclude : idu have, among you, placed me in _
Chancery. There 1 shall remain, and take the cast of the dice,
What! do you think I would call in accountants and so end the
matter \ I should think not. You know not how sweet to me is the
hubbub I have made. When folks can't afford real turtle, they make
themselves as comfortable as possible with mock ; for callipee and
callipash they content themselves with plain calf's-head. In like
way with other men, if they are not able to make a high reputation,
they will at least, by hook or by crook, lay hold of notoriety. Now,
reputation to notoriety is what real turtle is to mock. If I am con- i
tented with the humbler dish—with the mere calf s-head—I best show |
my humility, and at the same time remain,
Your obedient humble servant,
Ebenezeii Guipps,
The following course of study is recommended for a young Prince J
and distinguished examples prove it to be highly princely ;—
1. Philosophy.
Lectures on Taste, in connexion with Court and Military Uniforms, to
THE N EW EXC HAN G E.
HER MAJESTY IN THE CITY.
^?lh> I1E QUEEN and Prince Albert are to
~^^f /&^\ T^S^"^- dine in the City on the opening of
the Royal Exchange. It may not
lSlQW\SSSpW^0^ be generally known that the City is
indebted for this glory to the persever-
ance and great moral energy of Mr.
Lajibert Jones, who seems to have
a peculiar genius for drawing out
crowned heads. It was his indomi-
table politeness—aided and abetted j be delivered by profess0rs Moses and Wilson ; the latter gentleman
by the kindred spirit of Laurie—that j to unQertake the principles, and the former their application,
dragged the King of Saxony, with I _;_
his unmunched luncheon in his- 2. Natural History.
mouth from the Mansion House to Lectures on the Canine Species ; with peculiar reference to its more
confront the Wellington Statue 1 nondescript varieties ; as to the Physiology of the Turnspit, the Uses of
-. £ . , __ii „ . •> • . fl,„ the Pug, and the Habits and Manners of the Poodle. The Lecturer
on its first exposure to the world; and we repeat it is to the £ appointed by the Parliamentarv Dog Committee, who mav
invincible courtesy of Jones that the C.ty owes the forthcoming J him frQm the venders of ihe animals ^ 'egtion Wq
visit of Queen Victoria. Indeed, it was found impossible by her i jrec.uent tne Q.uaQraut.
Majesty to withstand the invitation of Jones, who some days since j ' 3 Architecture.
flung himself into the Slough third-class train, and taking omnibus for ' A Discourse 0Q Foundati'on.8toneSi with Directions for ravine them,
and a Dissertation on the Gilt Trowel, with the Mode of Handling thereof.
This Punch will be happy to deliver himself ; and he would introduce a
Disquisition on Perfumed Mortar, which he hopes would blend entertahi-
Windsor, proceeded to the Castle. Having pulled the bell, and
given a double knock at her Majesty's door, Jones gave in his card,
desiring an instant interview with the Q.ueen. To the astonishment
of the f King of the City " his card was refused, and he was unceremo- j ment with novelty.
niously bid to go about his business. A weaker spirit would have | 4. Languages.
quailed beneath this rebuff. Not so, Lambert Jones. He imme- The Application of the English Tongue to the Answering of Addresses
diately retired to the Garter Hotel, and there penned a letter to the , of Congratulation. An Essay, to be composed by the joint efforts of the
Queen, of which letter Jones has, in the most handsome manner, Cabinet.
favoured us with the subjoined copy :— 5. Accomplishments.
Instruction in Dancing and Deportment, by some Nobleman of course ;
« Parlour oj the Garter Hotel, d j ld ive jt better than Baron Nathan !
« My very dear Madam, ffrindsor, September —. Instruction in Music. Preceptor, M. Jullien undoubtedly.
" I—that is—we of the City are about to open our New Exchange, ; Instruction in Riding—especially as exhibited in the Clearing of Five-
a fine building, a very fine building, I assure you. You will be particu- , barred Gates—need we propose our Widdicombe for Tutor!
larly struck by the figures which I have had perched about it, as a sort of < Instruction in Field-sports, by the prototype—whoever he is—of Ma.
exercise for the dull intellects of my fellow-citizens. As yet, nobody but Dickens's Winkle.
myself knows what they mean, and, between you and me, the secret shall) Punch wdl be satisfied with a moderate sinecure for the above
die with me. However, to business. j suggestions.
" On the day of opening, we intend to get up a little dinner ; and I j
need not say, my very dear Madam, how much it will delight me, and
indeed the whole City, if on that day you will take pot-luck with us. Come,
MOSES ATtfD O'COOTIELL.
and bring your Husband and Children with you—there shall be room i Punch,
enough for all, and nobody shall be more welcome. , ' the ate " martyr » ban^f' * >e Rev. tte ULwmsx rashly
« Say you will come, and I will meet yourself and amiable family at i observed that « the mant e of Moses had fa len upon O Connell. Now,
the Paddington Station at any hour you may name. I au*. as d'e reverend gentleman could not by possibility mean any other
« It was my intention to have personally "invited you, but the people at 1 la» 0U1' fil'm, we here beg leave to state that we have never made mantle,
the Castle, strangely enough, denied me admittance. I 1 therefore retired cloak> or a»)' thing else for the said Daniel O Connell.
to this hostelry, and in a pint of brown sherry drank your health and the Your obedient servants,
rest of the Royal Family. Minories. Moses and Son.
" Trusting, my dear Madam, that it may harmonize with your many p g. We have, however, an elegant assortment of strait-waistcoate,
arrangements to pick a bit with us on the day appointed, which we beg to recommend to the attention of the friends of Mr, Henrt
" I remain, yours, very truly, I Grattan !
" Lambert Jones. ---1-
" P. S. An early answer is desired." the harvesx in the mansion house.
It is reported there is a capital crop of grass this year in the Lord
Mayor's kitchen. His Lordship, however, will not commence cutting
Morbid Taste.—Some one has been writing a letter, and signing it
with the name of Alderman Gib3s !
before the 9th of November.