Punch (7.1844)

142

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

DIRECTIONS TO LADIES FOR SHOPPING.

Shopping is the amusement of spending money at shops. It is to a lady
what sporting is to a gentleman ; somewhat productive, and very charge-
able. Sport, however, involves the payment of one's own shot ; shopping
may be managed by getting it paid for. Ride all the way till you come to
the shopping-ground in a coach, if you can ; in an omnibus, if you must ;
lest you should be tired when you get there. If you are a lady of
fashion, do not get out of your carriage ; and when you stop before your

LEGAL INTELLIGENCE AT FOLKSTONE.

he other day, Mr. Baron Alderson
went an extraordinary circuit, or, in
other words, a tremendous round from
the Pier at Folkstone to the waiting-
room of the Custom House, where he
held a very tedious sitting in (wooden)
Banco, while several cases (of luggage)
were being disposed of. The learned
Baron opened the commission by em-
ploying a commissioner, who acted as
associate protein., carrying the judicial
sac de nuit, umbrella and mackintosh.
The learned Baron having taken his
seat, alluded to the motion of course, of the steamer, which he had
recently gone into, and then proceeded to try a demurrer, by de-
murring to other people's luggage being looked at before his own was
examined. The demurrer having completely broken down, hislordship
called for the list of the day's busiuess, and ascertained that short
causes were being taken first; that is to say, people with one package
were having their baggage first looked into. The learned Baron
coincided in the justice of this proceeding, but expressed his opinion
that the list was not being fairly gone through, and his lordship
made use of some very strong expressions in favour of number
one, when

Faulkner—on the part of the Custom House officers, showed cause,
and explained the mistake into which his lordship had fallen.

Alderson, B — This savours of Covin. I have sat on this bench for
upwards of two hours, and I have seen all the cases that have been
looked into.

Faulkner.—Your lordship will see by the paper-book (handing up
the. list) that all the cases before your lordship are fairly entitled to
tank as precedents.

Alderson, B.—But suppose I put myself in the position of the
remainder man ; is the remainder man never to be allowed to come
in, Mr. Faulkner ?

Faulkner.—Your lordship must be aware that the remainder man
cannot come in until all the searchees in possession are satisfied.

Mr. Baron Alderson said he should take time to consider, and
shortly afterwards his lordship's judgment confirmed the view takeu
by Mr. Faulkner.

OH ! THE WHITE VESTS OF YOUNG ENGLAND 1

Air.—" Oh! The Roast Beef of Old England! "
Oh ! the vests of Young England are perfectly white,

milliner s, particularly if it is a cold, wet day, make one of the young
women come out to you, and without a bonnet, in her thin shoes, stand
oa the kerb-stone in the damp and mud. The best places for shopping
are fashionable streets, bazaars, and the like. Street-shopping principally
relates to hosiery, drapery, and jewellery of the richer sort. Bazaar and

Arcade-shopping, to fancy articles, nick-nacks, and perfumery. In street- ' Tl'MTl 'v wmtlTO?» 01 ^ILT'

,, , • if i • i i . .. .. t ! And Oh the Young English white vests

Bhoppmg walk leisurely along, keeping a sharp look-out on the windows. In

bazaar-shopping, beat each stall separately. Many patterns, colours, novel-
ties, conveniences, and other articles will thus strike your eye, which you
would otherwise have never wanted or dreamt of. When you have marked
down some dress, or riband, for instance, that you would like, go and inquire
the price of it ; haggle, demur, examine, and, lastly, buy. You will then
be asked " whether there is any other article to-day ? " Whether there is
or not,let the shopman show you what wares he pleases ; you will very likely
desire one or more of them. Whatever you think very cheap, that buy,
without reference to your need of it ; it is a bargain. You will find, too,
as you go on, that one thing suggests another ; as bonnets—ribands for
trimming, or flowers ; and handkerchiefs—perfumery. In considering
what more you want, try and recollect what your acquaintances have got
that you have not ; or what you have seen worn by strangers in going
along. See if there is anything before you superior in any respect to a
similar thing which you have already ; if so, get it instantly, not reflect-
ing whether your own will do well enough. You had better finish your
streets before you take your bazaars and arcades ; for there the shopping,
■which one might otherwise call cover-shopping, though excellent sport,
refers mostly to articles of no manner of use ; and it may be as well to
reserve toys and superfluities to the last. Married ladies, when they have
laid in all they want for themselves, are recommeuded to show their
thoightfulness by purchasing some little trifle for their husban Is, who, of
eourse, will have to pay for it in the end.

And they 're cut very neatly and sit very tight,
And they serve to distinguish our Young Englishmen
From the juvenile Manners to Conin-gsby Ben;

Sine, " Oh ! the white vests of Young England,

i "

Now the Old English vest was some two yards about.
For Old England was rather inclined to be stout :
But the Young English waist is extremely compress'd,
By the very close fit of the Young English vest.
Sing, "Oh ! &c."

The Young English white vest, upon one little score,-
May perhaps be considered a bit of a bore,
For it makes the resemblance exceedingly near
'Twixt the Young English Waiter and Young English Peer.
Sing, " Oh ! &c."

But what are the odds as concerning the vest,
So long as felicity reigns in the breast ?
And Young England to wear what it pleases may claim,
Let. us hope all its tailors are paid for the same.
Sing, "Oh ! &c."

Good News for tne Pensioners.

It is stated that the out-pensioners of Chelsea Hospital are to be identi-
fied every six months, and "are to be considered on a nearly similar
footing as when they were in the service." We shall be glad to know
how this will affect those pensioners who have lost their legs, and who
cannot be supposed to be on anything like the same footing as when they
v ere in the service.