Punch (7.1844)

THE GRASSHOPPERS' FEAST,

(A Prophetic Vision or Monday j the 23th.)

RAY come, call your cabs, and away, And tliere came the Wasp on his versatile wing.

one and all Who assails friend and foeman alike with his stiug,

The Queen Butterfly opens the Tlie Wasp °p t«e North, with perpetual hum,

Grasshoppers' Hall ; Whom nothing can ever persuade to be dumb :

The trumpeter civic has summoned Then a crowd of strange creatures, of every size,

the crew, Of all kinds of shapes, and of all sorts of dyes ;

And Her Majesty can't be kept wait- State Locusts were there upon pensions that gorge,

ing for you." Fine birds with fine feathers ; Bath, Thistle, and George 5

So squeaked Mr. Punch, and no sooner had said, Creeping things of the Earth that wind up the back-stairs,

Than his merry Contributors after him sped ; Aad Spiders that spread in the Law Courts their snares,

Grave Owls of the Bench with significant looks.
Parliamentary Jack-daws and clerical Rooks.

And on the smooth pavement, the kerb-stone beside,
Beneath a tall lamp-post, the storm that defied,
Saw the Children of Rank and the Tenants of Place °uKE Peacock was there and Lord Turketcock too

Repair with their presence the gala to grace Ia orders and ribands, green, yellow and blue.

Of the Grasshopper princes of portly renown, The Lobster his brother the Sea-Crab brought there,

Good liegemen and true to the Butterfly's crown. Who promised for once not to swagger nor swear;

And there were the Grasshoppers standing in files, The Political Rat had crept out of his hole,

Their jolly round faoe3 all beaming with smiles : Aad walked ia by the side of Red Tapist, the Mole

City Marshal, Remembrancer, Chamberlain big,
And the Chaplain with gown, and Recorder in wig ;
And there, with his mace, stood the Mace-bearer stout,
And the bold Lumber Troopers, rigg'd famously out.

And Grub the old Tory, fat, burly and big
Came crawling before Caterpillar, the Whig.
So thus they all enter'd, the great and the small,
And the Butterfly open'd the Grasshoppers' Hall.

The wiudowa were crowded, the balconies crammed. She wislied thetn prosperity, health, and success ;

Poor ladies were jostled, fat gentlemen jamm'd ; Aad the Grasshoppers thank'd her ; they couldn't do less.

And the banners, drums, trumpeting, cannon, and cheers, If thev cliPP'd the Queen's English a little ; what then ?

Would have dazzled your eyes and confounded your ears. Your Grasshoppers ne'er talk exactly like men ;

First came the Queen Butterfly, fairer ne'er'flew, If they " put their foot in it," as some people say,

On a moss-rose to breakfast off nectar and dew ; Why isn't that always the Grasshoppers' was !

Her Majesty looked so remarkably well, If they bunglingly managed or awkwardly spoke,

That she seem'd to be fresh from her chrysalis shell. The mistake only tended to heighten the joke.

The Grasshoppers' Chief, with his courtliest speech, The Butterfly fluttered her pinions with glee ;

Helped her up the Hall steps with a rev'rence at each ; The Goose cackled blithely the pageant to see ;

And with equal profusion of smiles and of bows, The Waterloo Cock crowed aloud with delight ;

The next in command did the like by her spouse Aad the Snake hiss'd his pleasure as well as he might ;

Her spouse, the Moth Consort, renown'd for his Hat, The Grasshoppers' chirrup was noisy as gay,

(Though we 're happy to say that he didn't wear thai) ; And the Wasp, for once, buzzed in a good-humour'd way.

Then the Ministers came,.and the Lordlings that sport, A Snail, one Sir Peter, was said to advance

Gay creatures of air, in the Butterfly's Court. And offer to end the affair with a dance,

And there came the gallant old Chanticleer, who But the uproar was such that he pull'd in his head ;

Won the main that came off upon famed Waterloo ; " A:ld now," said the Quebn, « we 'II adjourn to the ' spread'.
And there was the Goose, waddling in on his legs, « Home, too, let us hasten, my boys, for d'ye see,

First Lord of the Treasury's rich golden eggs : A dinner waits also for you and for me."

And there crept the Snake, all so cunning and sly, So squeak'd Mr. Punch, and retracing their track,

The Pauper-Law Champion—the Post-Office Spy : To turtle and venison the party went back.

THE INGREDIENTS OF " PUNCH." . ^n

,„ The Royal Civic Luucbeon.

Ma. Punch,

The other evening i was smoking my pipe in a public-house, when Preparations for tne Royal repast in the Exchange have been going
one of the persons present inquired if anybody knew what were the ingre- on for days, and the numerous committees concerned seem to be all opon
dients of Punch I To which question a young man replied as follows :— j moutaed. The Saturday report states that " the joint Committee of the
The Spirit is.....The " Comic Blaokstone." | Corporation and the Mercers' Company were engaged for hours in

The Acid is .....The " Feather

The Sweet is.....The Great " Savon Suggester."

The Spice is.....The " Sub."

The Water is.....The " Professor."

Aud the Sroi>N is ... The " Editor."

consultation." There is no statement, however, from the Vegetable
Committee. Is it to be all leg of mutton and no turnip 1 The report as
to the rasped rolls (though none of them have been rasped like the
Mayor elect) is pretty well from a body assembling in Cornhill; but
I am, Mr. Punch, j people want to know what the Poultry Committee have been doing, and

Vi urs truly, SNIP. | the kind of game they are about at this season.