DOI Heft:
July to December, 1844
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16520#0220
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
213
PUNCH AND PALEY.
At a recent meeting of the Greenwich Union Board of Guardians, held
to determine as to the establishment of a library in the workhouse, some
singularly sensible remarks were made by a Mr. Adam Young. Mr.
Adam Young averred—
"That he did not think the institution of a lending library in a union house was
at all proper."
Bravo ! Mr. Adam Young. We agree with you. Very improper, sir !
Highly improper ! Preposterous !
But listen further to Mr. Adam Young.
"It had been said that at Wandsworth a library was established in the union house,
and upon looking over the titles of the books there, he found Puley's Evidences. The
idea! To give Puley's Evidences to a pauper ! The thing was absurd."
Spoken like a man of sense, Mr. Adam Young. To believe what they
are told to believe, without knowing what that is, is the proper religion
for paupers. Paley might impress them with a positive belief in Chris-
tianity. The next thing would be, that they would pry into its doctrines,
and learn what they really are. Imagine the consequences of such a dis-
covery. Fancy the comparisons they would draw between the profession
and practice of their superiors. No, no ! This would never do. Keep
Paley from the workhouse.
But softly. Can it be possible that we have misunderstood Mr. Young %
Why, really, it would almost seem so. Hear him again.
" He supposed the next thing would be to admit Punch !"
Punch and Paley's Evidences t Does Mr. Young consider the latter
a jocose work ; or, failing to perceive a joke in our pages, does he think
the former a serious one ? His mistake, we apprehend, must relate to the
Archdeacon ; for, in continuation, quoth Adam—
" In looking over the Board table that morning, he saw Punch and two newspapers
lying there."
Perhaps he takes Paley for a periodical. Can he have confounded it
MARGATE AT VAUXHALL.
We understand a company has been formed for the purpose of converting
Vauxhall Gardens into a bathing place, by bringing the sea-water up to
town along a line of railway. The projectors have been already in nego-
ciation with the directors of the South-Eastern for permission to introduce
a pipe into the sea at Folkestone harbour, and to run a main by the side of
the rails to the Bricklayers' Arms, with a continuation as far as Vauxhall,
where a resident turncock will be permanently stationed. There will be
branch plugs at some of the intermediate stations, and a ball-cock at each
terminus.
Vauxhall Gardens will be fitted up to resemble the town of Margate ;
the fire-work ground being dug out and lined with zinc to represent the
sea, while a pair of fiats at the back will realise the notion of the Marine
The Great Wash !
-,i .1 ■ tt ,,, o w f i • * i u* i .i I errace, w-ith Buenos Ayres ni the distance, and its romantic little oyster-
with the Mormua Herald?- We confess, we begin to doubt whether our \ , ' ,. , \ . ... , - ,
t • j i y» i » i7 .j ai „ i .i i-L e shop nestling under it. 1 he entrance to the gardens will be converted
friend ever read Pale?/ s Evidences. May we take the liberty of suggesting ' ,. .b ., „,, . . . , b . ,
.i.i i.i •,, i . , ~\t a -u r i '"to a tac-siniilu ot the icttv, and a pasteboanpacket will be m attendance,
that he might do so with advantage i Mr. Adam 1 oung may confound ' . • , ■ , ■ •' i , , ,
i ?.i *i irr , i i n i -.i t 1 • which will work in a groove, and give the visitors the idea that they have
ourselves with the \\ alchman, and Paley with Joe Mtiler : his argument, , . °. ,' . ° ... , , . , 3, ,
„ . •.] . j- . • . r> • i 'n e i i- arrived by steamer. A set piece wi I be arranged on the ri" it hand,
notwithstanding, rests intact. Banish all comfort, every solace, irom the , ■, T) , • v , ,r . T ° • „■ ° ,. ,'
workhouse. Scout the notion of any sort of amusement there. As sll0W1DS HV} fatlllug R°oms ^Marine Library ; to give effect to which
to a library, laugh it to the veriest scorn. Food for a pauper's mind, fef°n8 W,H,be enSaS^ who will shake a dice-box, exclaiming " I want
indeed ! It is quite enough to have to find food for his body. but, °"e-°nl'V ?n° wa,lfce<11 t0, comPlet<? lhe sweepstakes ! ' while others
make bows, and observe that the " sea is in fine order for bathing.' To
complete the illusion, Margate slippers and telescopes may be had at the
doors ; so that the public will have an opportunity of realising, in every
particular, the luxury of a trip to that favourite watering-place. The wall
of the adjoining Hotel will be whitewashed, to represent the cliffs, and
Ax a meeting of the principal Pictures in the National Gallery, a vote I 'ome of llle supper-boxes will be converted into chasms on the shore.;
of thanks was unanimously given to Punch, for his services in calling the wlllle cockle-shells will be profusely scattered about m all directions, so
Attention of the Commissioners to the filthy and neglected state of the that nothing may be wanting to give an air of marine freshness to the
inmates. They have, since our remonstrance, had their faces washed, and : 'oca'1ty.
every one will admit that they look all the better for it. All they have to
complain of now is overcrowding. If they belonged to the National Art
Union, or any other Union instead of a National Gallery, they could PUNCH'S SENTIMENTS.
hardly be worse off in this particular. Sentiment for Young France—The Ocean a French Lake, and England
at the bottom of it.
Sentiment for Young England.—A speedy return of the Middle Ages.
Another.—The art of suction ; and may our grandmothers prove apt
scholars.
Sentiment for Young Ireland.—May Federalism and Porter triumph
over Whisky and Repeal.
GENTILITY AT A DISCOUNT.
Respectability, everybody knows, means "keeping a gig." Anequally
concise definition of Gentility has long been wanted. The desideratum has
been supplied by a Mr. Holde.v, lately examined before the Bankruptcy
Court. He was described in a certain bond as " a gentleman." Prima
facic, there was no evidence of the fact—quite the reverse. The Com-
missioner, with that anxiety for information which distinguishes him,
pressed for the grounds on which the title rested. Mr. Holden himself
seemed puzzled, but at last hit on the mark : lie occasionally discounted
bills, and that he supposed was the reason he was styled gentleman !
Punch's Court Circular.
Punch took his usual airing by rolling along the window of his own
house, and throwing himself at full length upon the projecting led^e in
front of it.
In the afternoon he visited the new kennel in preparation for the don-
Toby.
The dinner party at the office in the evening included Shallaballah
and the publisher. The Pandean band was iu attendance, and played
several favourite morceaujc in the outer passage.
Military Intelligence.
Private Snooks, of the Guards, took his usual promenade for two houra
at Story's Gate. He successfully resisted the passage of a bundle across
the frontier line, and discomfited a washerwoman with a clothes-basket.
Immediately after the action alluded to he stood at ease, and was
eventually relieved by Simmons, of the same regiment.
HAIL WAV INTELLIGENCE.
We are happy to announce an increase of traffic on the Kensington
Railway during the last week. A passenger went with 8 carpet-bag by
the up-train : giving a surplus of one carpet-bag over the previous returns.
It is, we have been told, in contemplation to contract with a job-master
to horse the carriages on this line, thus obviating the necessity of steam ;
and it is supposed that one strong cob would be able to carry out the
objects of the company.
213
PUNCH AND PALEY.
At a recent meeting of the Greenwich Union Board of Guardians, held
to determine as to the establishment of a library in the workhouse, some
singularly sensible remarks were made by a Mr. Adam Young. Mr.
Adam Young averred—
"That he did not think the institution of a lending library in a union house was
at all proper."
Bravo ! Mr. Adam Young. We agree with you. Very improper, sir !
Highly improper ! Preposterous !
But listen further to Mr. Adam Young.
"It had been said that at Wandsworth a library was established in the union house,
and upon looking over the titles of the books there, he found Puley's Evidences. The
idea! To give Puley's Evidences to a pauper ! The thing was absurd."
Spoken like a man of sense, Mr. Adam Young. To believe what they
are told to believe, without knowing what that is, is the proper religion
for paupers. Paley might impress them with a positive belief in Chris-
tianity. The next thing would be, that they would pry into its doctrines,
and learn what they really are. Imagine the consequences of such a dis-
covery. Fancy the comparisons they would draw between the profession
and practice of their superiors. No, no ! This would never do. Keep
Paley from the workhouse.
But softly. Can it be possible that we have misunderstood Mr. Young %
Why, really, it would almost seem so. Hear him again.
" He supposed the next thing would be to admit Punch !"
Punch and Paley's Evidences t Does Mr. Young consider the latter
a jocose work ; or, failing to perceive a joke in our pages, does he think
the former a serious one ? His mistake, we apprehend, must relate to the
Archdeacon ; for, in continuation, quoth Adam—
" In looking over the Board table that morning, he saw Punch and two newspapers
lying there."
Perhaps he takes Paley for a periodical. Can he have confounded it
MARGATE AT VAUXHALL.
We understand a company has been formed for the purpose of converting
Vauxhall Gardens into a bathing place, by bringing the sea-water up to
town along a line of railway. The projectors have been already in nego-
ciation with the directors of the South-Eastern for permission to introduce
a pipe into the sea at Folkestone harbour, and to run a main by the side of
the rails to the Bricklayers' Arms, with a continuation as far as Vauxhall,
where a resident turncock will be permanently stationed. There will be
branch plugs at some of the intermediate stations, and a ball-cock at each
terminus.
Vauxhall Gardens will be fitted up to resemble the town of Margate ;
the fire-work ground being dug out and lined with zinc to represent the
sea, while a pair of fiats at the back will realise the notion of the Marine
The Great Wash !
-,i .1 ■ tt ,,, o w f i • * i u* i .i I errace, w-ith Buenos Ayres ni the distance, and its romantic little oyster-
with the Mormua Herald?- We confess, we begin to doubt whether our \ , ' ,. , \ . ... , - ,
t • j i y» i » i7 .j ai „ i .i i-L e shop nestling under it. 1 he entrance to the gardens will be converted
friend ever read Pale?/ s Evidences. May we take the liberty of suggesting ' ,. .b ., „,, . . . , b . ,
.i.i i.i •,, i . , ~\t a -u r i '"to a tac-siniilu ot the icttv, and a pasteboanpacket will be m attendance,
that he might do so with advantage i Mr. Adam 1 oung may confound ' . • , ■ , ■ •' i , , ,
i ?.i *i irr , i i n i -.i t 1 • which will work in a groove, and give the visitors the idea that they have
ourselves with the \\ alchman, and Paley with Joe Mtiler : his argument, , . °. ,' . ° ... , , . , 3, ,
„ . •.] . j- . • . r> • i 'n e i i- arrived by steamer. A set piece wi I be arranged on the ri" it hand,
notwithstanding, rests intact. Banish all comfort, every solace, irom the , ■, T) , • v , ,r . T ° • „■ ° ,. ,'
workhouse. Scout the notion of any sort of amusement there. As sll0W1DS HV} fatlllug R°oms ^Marine Library ; to give effect to which
to a library, laugh it to the veriest scorn. Food for a pauper's mind, fef°n8 W,H,be enSaS^ who will shake a dice-box, exclaiming " I want
indeed ! It is quite enough to have to find food for his body. but, °"e-°nl'V ?n° wa,lfce<11 t0, comPlet<? lhe sweepstakes ! ' while others
make bows, and observe that the " sea is in fine order for bathing.' To
complete the illusion, Margate slippers and telescopes may be had at the
doors ; so that the public will have an opportunity of realising, in every
particular, the luxury of a trip to that favourite watering-place. The wall
of the adjoining Hotel will be whitewashed, to represent the cliffs, and
Ax a meeting of the principal Pictures in the National Gallery, a vote I 'ome of llle supper-boxes will be converted into chasms on the shore.;
of thanks was unanimously given to Punch, for his services in calling the wlllle cockle-shells will be profusely scattered about m all directions, so
Attention of the Commissioners to the filthy and neglected state of the that nothing may be wanting to give an air of marine freshness to the
inmates. They have, since our remonstrance, had their faces washed, and : 'oca'1ty.
every one will admit that they look all the better for it. All they have to
complain of now is overcrowding. If they belonged to the National Art
Union, or any other Union instead of a National Gallery, they could PUNCH'S SENTIMENTS.
hardly be worse off in this particular. Sentiment for Young France—The Ocean a French Lake, and England
at the bottom of it.
Sentiment for Young England.—A speedy return of the Middle Ages.
Another.—The art of suction ; and may our grandmothers prove apt
scholars.
Sentiment for Young Ireland.—May Federalism and Porter triumph
over Whisky and Repeal.
GENTILITY AT A DISCOUNT.
Respectability, everybody knows, means "keeping a gig." Anequally
concise definition of Gentility has long been wanted. The desideratum has
been supplied by a Mr. Holde.v, lately examined before the Bankruptcy
Court. He was described in a certain bond as " a gentleman." Prima
facic, there was no evidence of the fact—quite the reverse. The Com-
missioner, with that anxiety for information which distinguishes him,
pressed for the grounds on which the title rested. Mr. Holden himself
seemed puzzled, but at last hit on the mark : lie occasionally discounted
bills, and that he supposed was the reason he was styled gentleman !
Punch's Court Circular.
Punch took his usual airing by rolling along the window of his own
house, and throwing himself at full length upon the projecting led^e in
front of it.
In the afternoon he visited the new kennel in preparation for the don-
Toby.
The dinner party at the office in the evening included Shallaballah
and the publisher. The Pandean band was iu attendance, and played
several favourite morceaujc in the outer passage.
Military Intelligence.
Private Snooks, of the Guards, took his usual promenade for two houra
at Story's Gate. He successfully resisted the passage of a bundle across
the frontier line, and discomfited a washerwoman with a clothes-basket.
Immediately after the action alluded to he stood at ease, and was
eventually relieved by Simmons, of the same regiment.
HAIL WAV INTELLIGENCE.
We are happy to announce an increase of traffic on the Kensington
Railway during the last week. A passenger went with 8 carpet-bag by
the up-train : giving a surplus of one carpet-bag over the previous returns.
It is, we have been told, in contemplation to contract with a job-master
to horse the carriages on this line, thus obviating the necessity of steam ;
and it is supposed that one strong cob would be able to carry out the
objects of the company.