Punch (7.1844)

2o2

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

WIDDICOMB THE FOX-HUNTER.

We have seen Widdicomb under almost every phase. We have watched him
•charging the Lambeth cohorts on the deal platforms of Waterloo. We have
seen him leading on the Stangate Russians, and urging them to feats of pa-
triotism over the planks of Moscow. We have observed him dictating terms to
Astleian India from the back of Battt's elephant. We have marked him
marshalling the Mamelukes in the avenue leading from the stable, prior to his
bursting out into the circle in all the pride of white stockings, tights, a green
baize coat fringed with door-leather, and highlows converted into hessians by
the tops of a pair of Wellingtons. But never until the present season have we
seen him as Widdicomb, the English Fox-hunter, the British sportsman chasing
the real fox through the 0. P. Wing, and round the sawdust circle. The air
with which he salutes the hounds, the urbanity with which he winks at the pro-
perty man to let the fox out of the canvas bag, the bonhommie with which he
capers about among the gentlemen riders at the Meet, must be seen to be de-
scribed ; and having been described, must still be witnessed.

HUSBANDRY OF THE DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH.

PETER THE GREAT ON WEIGHTS!

It was thought an irreparable loss to the world of fun
when the immortal Grimaldi ceased to sing Hot Codlinsl
Nevertheless, the world has been somewhat solaced for a plea-
sure gone, by the frequent self-exhibitions of Sir Peter
Laurie. May he live until the miniver on his gown grows
grey as time !

Sir Peter has lately expended his wisdom on weights. A
cheesemonger of Silver-street was charged for trading with
illegal weights in his shop !

"Sir P. Laurie directed the weights to be produced, which were earthenware
ones, plugged with lead at the hottom. Sir Petee observed that they were no
weights at all; they were nut allowed by law, and therefore they could not ba
called illcgul weights."

Now, short weight is not allowed by law; and so, according
to Sir Peter, short weight is not illegal weight. And this is
the logical brain that decides upon the imprisonment of men
and women—this, the intellect that is to put down suicide !

But, to proceed with Alderman Grimaldi :—

"Sir P. Laurie. These new-fashioned earthenware weights are not weight?
at all. They are dreadfully cheating weights, and my mind is almost good
enough to break them myself at this very moment."

" Almost good enough ! " "Why, Sir Peter, were weights
made of stones, your mind would be quite good enough to
break them : quite ; and Dot a bit too good.

" A gentleman in the Court observed that Alderman Cofeland had recom-
mended the tradesmen in the City to use porcelain weights, or better known aa
Alderman Copeland's weights.

" Sir Peter Laurie I know nothing of Alderman Cofeland's weights;
he. may have an eye to business. I have net, and am therefore better able to
decide on their merits. They are grossly illegal—no doubt of it, but not illegal
enough. The defendant is discharged; his weights will be brokp.n up."

Why should the man's weights be broken up, if the man is
discharged ? Why, says Sir Peter, the weights are grossly
illegal, but not illegal enough. In the like way, we presume
that a candidate for an Alderman's gown may be grossly
asinine, but not asinine " enough."

THE WOODEN WALLS OF ENGLAND.

A newspaper paragraph informs us that " if an acorn be left for
some weeks suspended by a string over the surface of some water
contained in a hyacinth-glass, it will throw down long roots, whilst
its stem will rise upwards, and become decorated with leaves."
This is cheering to know, as the British navy need never be in
want of timber as long as there is a hyacinth-glass and a bit of
twine left in the kingdom. The idea of growing oaks in a secoiul-
pair-back is so rich to us, that we intend to-morrow to plant
four-and-twenty acorns on all our mantel-pieces, and have no
doubt that in less than a year we shall have a perfect Windsor
Forest in every room in the house. Let us hope that the Oaks
will not be of such a nature as eventually to take us in.

A. Few Questions on Cricket.

Q. What is a " long stop ? "

A. Alderman Gibbs's accounts.

Q. What do you call a " good run ? "

A. At the Victoria Theatre, a piece that goes twelve nights.

Q. What is " fielding ? "

A. The author of Torn Jonrs.

Q. How do you stop a ball I

A. By putting out the lights.

The Aylesbury Neivs continues to give new accounts of the benevolence of the
Duke of Marlborough, who is fast making for himself an enduring reputation
in the hearts of the poor at Waddesdon. It appears that the Noble Duke at
Lady-day last let out some allotments of stiff land at 48s. per acre, for spade
husbandry. The land was very unproductive ; it was doubtful whether it could
be made to yield even a single sprig of laurel for his Grace. However, tenants

took the land at Lady-day last, and at Michaelmas the over-punctual Duke | £ ^hmdiw a»rty change sides \
sent his steward for twelve months'_ rent ; that is his Grace required of J A When he's in bed, and got the fidgets
the spade-labourer six months' rent %n advance ! Dull people have thought Q> what do you call „a s]i ? -
such demand a little unusual. Why, so it is; but then, as the Duke of '
Marlborough —he is notorious for it—pays always in advance for what he has
himself, he merely wishes that his tenants should conform to his own practice.
Besides, allotment tenants have always a superfluity of money ; and the worthy
Duke, by demanding his rent before it is due, does so upon the benevolent
principle that none of the cash shall go to public-house or beer-shop. Excellent
nobleman ! Great-hearted landlord ! A few more such laudowners, and what a

/-ii „ fr, u t? i j i. i FRIENDLY WARNING TO REBELLIOUS JERSEY.

Uarden of Eden would England be !

The Duke of Wellington is in a terrible passion with the
Jerseyans. He declares if they do not keep quiet, he will send them
a dozen pioneers with orders to dig the island out of the oceaD, and
bring the earth up to London to fill flower-pots.

P1 Y\T You are earnestly implored to leave the British and Foreign
\J . m • Institute; and no allusions shall ever be made by your disconsolate parents,
to remind you of your past folly.

A. A hundred songs for a halfpenny.

Q. How much is game ?

A. It depends whether it's in season.