Punch (8.1845)

68 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

POISONERS. LIVING AND DEAD-ARSENIC

NOVELS.

aweh, the Quaker, is at the
present moment a very power-
ful rival to the makers of New-
gate volumes. Folks are apt to
turn from a novel, though wholly
composed of French sentiment
and French arsenic, to study
the living animal charged with
poisoning. One peep at Tawell
in Aylesbury gaol must be worth
the whole history of the Mar-
chioness be BrINVILLIERS,
though disinterred, like poor M.
Laefarge, for the sake of her
arsenic. Here is the proof.

On Saturday week—we quote
from the Aylesbury News—was
the day of the county meeting; when—

" A great many of the gentry and magistracy of the county were here ; after the meet-
ing, many of these vulgar people attended the gaol under the character of visitinq-
juslices. Having looked into a few cells, they all repaired to that in which Mr. Tawell
was confined, who was made to turn eut for their inspection as if lie were some uild
animal. Some of the magistrates, determined to have a good view, eyed him from top
to toe with their spy-glasses, examining him as they would a horse they were about to
purchase. The prisoner complained bitterly of this to Mb. Sheriff, who told him it
could not be remedied, as these visiting-justices had a command and superintendence in
the county gaol superior even to his, although he was the governor and county gaoler."

In the first place—to say nothing of the feelings of the prisoner—
this practice is highly prejudicial to the interests of the Newgate
novel-monger. How, for instance, is Mr. Bentley, the publisher,
to continue to sell his monthly doses of literary arsenic—or rather,
of arsenicated literature—treating the gentle public as he would
treat rats,—if a crowd of magistracy can take a crowd of friends and

NEW BANK FOR STEALINGS.

important to rogues and vagabonds.

There is a by no means inconsiderable class of persons whose interests
have, for a long time, been very grievously neglected—we allude to the
disreputable portion of society. This has been partly the fault of the body
in question ; for it is an old-established maxim that when good men unite,
characters of an opposite description should combine ; whereas lamentable
disunion has existed among the furtive community. It has long been a
reproach to roguery that it never prospers ; a fact which is owing to the
improvidence which generally accompanies want of principle. Numerous
examples in Church and State, as well as in the commercial world, prove-
that it is possible for a prudent rogue to get on as well as anybody else.
Organisation is as necessary as honour among thieves ; and an eminent
pickpocket has accordingly suggested the propriety of establishing a
Stealings Bank, to be conducted on the principle of a Savings Bank, for
the accumulation of the earnings of dishonest industry, as a provision for"
the depredator's declining years. The direction of the Stealings Back
will be vested in a chairman, whose name, for obvious reasons, it were
inexpedient to publish, as he is the greatest rogue in England. This gen-
tleman (if we are justified in using that expression) will be assisted by
an unlimited number of Vices of the lowest grade. The smallest deposits
will be admissible ; and plunder in kind will be regarded as an invest-
ment, and receive a fair monied equivalent; whereby it is hoped an end
will be put to the extortions of marine-store dealers. The Bank will be
open to yards of ribbons and bits of tape, and even to rags and bones.
To sharp shop-boys having access to tills, no less than to the footpad and
highwayman, this institution will be available, and will receive any amount
of booty, from the smallest theft to the highest burglary, swindling, ox-
forgery transaction. No distinction will be made between common
thieves, sharpers, and pickpockets, and peculators in government or other
official situations, so that to all dishonestly-disposed persons holding minis-
terial appointments, or berths in the Excise and Customs, the Stealings
Bank holds out peculiar temptations ; as also to individuals of the same de-
scription, in positions of trust, having the control of corporate or parochial
affairs; magistrates' clerks, also, and officers of certain law courts, whose
i fees come decidedly under the head of impositions, will findan appropriate
show a man suspected to be a real poisoner for nothing? Who i receptacle for their gains in the Stealings Bank. Open from 10 o'clock

would care to behold the tawdry, saloon-like wardrobe of a Brin-
v-illiers—when they can see,—aye, gaze at through a spy-glass,—
the buttonless drab coat of a Tawell ? If Mr. Bentley have any
sense of his own interest, he will appeal to the Home Office on the
matter. He will represent that, as he endeavours every month to
make poisoning familiar to the meanest understanding—as he sends
into the bosoms of families and coffee-shops the prettiest lessons on
the use of arsenic, as formerly he taught housebreaking by Jack
Sheppard—he ought not to be tints unfairly competed with by gra

at night till 4 in the morning. Further particulars will be duly announced.

DECOY SOVEREIGNS.

We always heard, that gifts of charity were instalments to be repaid;
with interest. It appears that this is literally as well as metaphysically
true. At a vestry-meeting in St. Marylebone, we are told of " a gentle,
man who made a collection in St. George's Church, Hanover Square, and

tnitous exhibitors. Mr. Bentley, as a great publisher of arsenic, nian™ maae a co".ec"™ 1U fL; ^u\f * ^.iU1L"' "T™ ^u^' ^
„ , , , , x,. tr j s \ j . , ' put three sovereigns into the plate he held, simply as a decoy to the con-

ought really to look to this. He has, we conceive, vested mterests , * ; and wfth the undeiystanding that he was to receive two of them

in the mortal drug : he drives a trade with it, like Shakspeare's | ga(£ We addj with indjgrjation, that the officiating clergyman had

Apothecary; though, unlike him, he sells his ratsbane in the faceofjtj,e meanness to " sell" this charitable plate-holder, by putting his

open day. To be sure, Sir James Graham may have some latentj hand on the plate when the lender was about to take out his two sove-

sympathy with rats, and so snub the bookseller. Nevertheless, we j reigns, with the remark, " What is here belongs to the charity for which

advise Mr. Bentley to make the trial

As for the crime of murder, it is extraordinary how, with some
minds, a very little time lessens its horror. A homicide is committed ;
and society is in a convulsion of terror at the act. A few days pass ;
paragraphs appear declaratory of the respectability of the accused.
Every hour the mark of blood seems fading upon him, and every
hour he becomes an object of increasing interest. Artists catch
fiying likenesses of him; something that passes for his portrait
appears in some of the Sabbath papers ; and when at length, con-
demned, he is about to suffer his last punishment,— it may almost be
questioned whether the assassin may not be considered as a sort
of public player—an heroic victim self-doomed—for the agreeable
excitement of a most civilized nation.

Can this be doubted 1 We put it to the above curious magistrates
and gentry, whether, having spied their fill at an accused murderer,
they did not quit the gaol much more satisfied, more amused, than if
they had paid their shilling at Madame Tussaod's ?

Wonderful Discovery of Coin.

A penny, of the reign of Victoria, was discovered last week in the toll-
box of the Waterloo Bridge. The toll-keeper is quite puzzled to explain
how it could have got there, as he does not recollect ever seeing anything
of the kind since he has had the exclusive possession of the Bridge. The
supposition is, the penny must have been dropped into the toll-box by some
charitable individual who had mistaken it for a poor-box. However, we
congratulate the shareholders upon their sudden accession of property.

it was subscribed, and you can take nothing." Now this is really hard.
People are content with mock sympathy, and mock virtue, but not with
mock contributions ! Gold, the great realiser, must not be converted to
purposes of deception ; we will have real sovereigns. There is a lesson
in this.

Let the lady, whose name figures on the committee of the Society for
the Relief of Distressed Needlewomen, and who insists on her ball-dress
being home to the minute, remember these decoy guineas at St. George's,
Hanover Square.

Let Young England, while declaiming to the Manchester mechanic, and
paving seven shillings a week to the labourer, think of them !

Let Mr. Cobden, while setting forth the duties of property, think of
them I

Let the Duke of Buckingham and Chandos think of them 1
Let President Tyler think of them !
Let Daniel O'Connell think of them!

Indeed, who is there that might not ponder on this lesson with interest!
And we fear, that many who come forward to claim the reward of good
deeds, well-trumpetted, will be surprised to find that they are only asking
back their decoy sovereigns, and receive the answer of the St. George's
plateholder, " You can take nothing."

and very dear too 1
The title of Due d'Isly was offered to Marshal Bugeaud, but declined
by him, at first, as it involved an expense of 18,000 francs. The Duke
of Marlborough says, « He wishes he had known this, as the Marsha!
might have had his title for one-half the amount."