DOI Heft:
January to June, 1845
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16521#0071
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
75
PUNCH IN THE EAST.
et our fat contributor.
V.—PUNCH AT THE PYRAMIDS—(Concluded).
Punch—his back to the desert, his beaming face turned towards the
Nile.
"Bless him !" I exclaimed, embracing him ; and almost choking, gave
the signal to the Arabs to move cn.
These savage creatures are only too ready to obey an order of this na-
ture. They spin a man along, be his size never so considerable. They
rattled up to the second landing so swiftly that I thought I should be
broken-winded for ever. But they gave us little time to halt. Yallah
It is all very well to talk of sleeping in the tombs ; that question has
been settled in a former paper, where 1 have stated my belief that people Again we mount 1— 'tis the last and most arduous ascent—the limbs
do not sleep at all in Egypt. I thought to have had some tremendous quiver, the pulses beat, the eyes shoot cut of the head, the brain reels,
visions under the shadow of those enormous
Pyramids reposing under the stars. Pharaoh
or Cleopatra, I thought, might appear to me in
a dream. But how could they, as I didn't go I. IK |J J- * ^ ,!_[//
to sleep? I hoped for high thoughts, and J,--. 1 ' Ll\ 3- AiiRlV^ >f
secret communings with the Spirit of Poesy— ^Tjj| , $ v\ klr\flNv™
I hoped to have let off a sonnet at least, as gen- H -' j ■.:■}„. i J^NU^-^-fr^Xw m-\ U*
tlemen do on visiting the spot—but how could |j ' I Jk WZQ&i '■ :VJ! ^'"
I hunt for rhymes, being occupied all night jf i&Y' % .V J^rfffi i i : '
in hunting for something else ? If this re-
monstrance will deter a single person from
going to the Pyramids, my purpose is fully
answered.
But my case was different. I had a duty to
perform_I had to introduce Punch to Cheops
— I had vowed to leave his card at the gates
of History—I had a mission, in a word. I
roused at sunrise the snoring dragoman from
his lair. I summoned the four Arabs who had
engaged to assist me in the ascent, and in the
undertaking. We lighted a fire of camel's dung
at the North-East corner of the Pyramid, just
as the god of day rose over Cairo ! The embers
began to glow, water was put into the tin pot
before mentioned,—the pot was put on the fire
—'twas a glorious—a thrilling moment !
At 46 minutes past 6, a.m., (by one of Dol-
lond's Chronometers) the water began to
boil.
At 47 minutes the flour was put gradually into
the water—it was stirred with the butt-end of
the brush brought for the purpose, and
Schmaklek Beg, an Arab, peeping over the
pot too curiously, I poked the brush into his
mouth at 11 minutes before 7, a.m.
At 7, the paste was made—doubting whether
it was thick enough, Schmaklek tried it with
his finger. It was pronounced to be satis-
factory.
At 11 minutes past 7, I turned round in a
majestic attitude to the four Arabs, and said,
" Let us mount." I suggest this scene, this
moment, this attitude, to the Committee of the
Fine Arts as a proper subject for the Houses
of Parliament—Punch pointing to the Pyra-
mids, and introducing civilisation to Egypt—I
merely throw it out as a suggestion. What a
grand thing the Messieurs Foggo would make
of it!
Having given the signal—the Sheikh of the
Arabs seized my right arm, and his brother the
left. Two volunteer Arabs pushed me (quite
unnecessarily) behind. The other two preceded
—one with a water-bottle for refreshment ;
the other with the posters—the pot—the paint-
brush and the paste. Away we went—away !
I was blown at the third step. They are exceedingly lofty ; about
5 feet high each, I should think—but the ardent spirit will break his
heart to win the goal—besides I could not go back if I would. The two
Arabs dragged me forward by the arms—the volunteers pushed me up
from behind. It was in vain I remonstrated with the latter, kicking
violently as occasion offered—they still went on pushing. We arrived
at the first landing-place.
I drew out the poster—how it fluttered in the breeze !—With a trem-
bling hand I popped the brush into the paste pot, and smeared the back of
the placard, then I pasted up the Standard of our glorious leader—at 19
minutes past 7, by the clock of the great minaret at Cairo, which was
clearly visible through my refracting telescope. My heart throbbed when
the deed was done. My eyes filled with tears—I am not at liberty to
state here all the emotions of triumph and joy which rose in my bosom—
so exquisitely overpowering were they. There was Punch_familiar old
the knees tremble and totter, and you are on the summit! I don't know
how many hundred thousand feet it is above the level of the sea, but I
wonder after that tremendous exercise that I am not a roarer to my
dying hour.
When consciousness and lungs regained their play, another copy of
the placard was placed under a stone—a third was launched into air
in the manner before described, and we gave three immense cheers
for Punch, which astonished the undiscovered mummies that lie dark-
ling in tomb-chambers, and must have disturbed the broken-nosed old
Sphinx who has been couched for thousands of years in the desert hard by.
This done, we made our descent from the Pyramids.
And if, my dear Sir, you ask me whether it is worth a man's while to
mount up those enormous stones, I will say in confidence that thousands
of people went to see the Bottle Conjuror, and that we hear of gentlemen
becoming Free-Masons every day.
75
PUNCH IN THE EAST.
et our fat contributor.
V.—PUNCH AT THE PYRAMIDS—(Concluded).
Punch—his back to the desert, his beaming face turned towards the
Nile.
"Bless him !" I exclaimed, embracing him ; and almost choking, gave
the signal to the Arabs to move cn.
These savage creatures are only too ready to obey an order of this na-
ture. They spin a man along, be his size never so considerable. They
rattled up to the second landing so swiftly that I thought I should be
broken-winded for ever. But they gave us little time to halt. Yallah
It is all very well to talk of sleeping in the tombs ; that question has
been settled in a former paper, where 1 have stated my belief that people Again we mount 1— 'tis the last and most arduous ascent—the limbs
do not sleep at all in Egypt. I thought to have had some tremendous quiver, the pulses beat, the eyes shoot cut of the head, the brain reels,
visions under the shadow of those enormous
Pyramids reposing under the stars. Pharaoh
or Cleopatra, I thought, might appear to me in
a dream. But how could they, as I didn't go I. IK |J J- * ^ ,!_[//
to sleep? I hoped for high thoughts, and J,--. 1 ' Ll\ 3- AiiRlV^ >f
secret communings with the Spirit of Poesy— ^Tjj| , $ v\ klr\flNv™
I hoped to have let off a sonnet at least, as gen- H -' j ■.:■}„. i J^NU^-^-fr^Xw m-\ U*
tlemen do on visiting the spot—but how could |j ' I Jk WZQ&i '■ :VJ! ^'"
I hunt for rhymes, being occupied all night jf i&Y' % .V J^rfffi i i : '
in hunting for something else ? If this re-
monstrance will deter a single person from
going to the Pyramids, my purpose is fully
answered.
But my case was different. I had a duty to
perform_I had to introduce Punch to Cheops
— I had vowed to leave his card at the gates
of History—I had a mission, in a word. I
roused at sunrise the snoring dragoman from
his lair. I summoned the four Arabs who had
engaged to assist me in the ascent, and in the
undertaking. We lighted a fire of camel's dung
at the North-East corner of the Pyramid, just
as the god of day rose over Cairo ! The embers
began to glow, water was put into the tin pot
before mentioned,—the pot was put on the fire
—'twas a glorious—a thrilling moment !
At 46 minutes past 6, a.m., (by one of Dol-
lond's Chronometers) the water began to
boil.
At 47 minutes the flour was put gradually into
the water—it was stirred with the butt-end of
the brush brought for the purpose, and
Schmaklek Beg, an Arab, peeping over the
pot too curiously, I poked the brush into his
mouth at 11 minutes before 7, a.m.
At 7, the paste was made—doubting whether
it was thick enough, Schmaklek tried it with
his finger. It was pronounced to be satis-
factory.
At 11 minutes past 7, I turned round in a
majestic attitude to the four Arabs, and said,
" Let us mount." I suggest this scene, this
moment, this attitude, to the Committee of the
Fine Arts as a proper subject for the Houses
of Parliament—Punch pointing to the Pyra-
mids, and introducing civilisation to Egypt—I
merely throw it out as a suggestion. What a
grand thing the Messieurs Foggo would make
of it!
Having given the signal—the Sheikh of the
Arabs seized my right arm, and his brother the
left. Two volunteer Arabs pushed me (quite
unnecessarily) behind. The other two preceded
—one with a water-bottle for refreshment ;
the other with the posters—the pot—the paint-
brush and the paste. Away we went—away !
I was blown at the third step. They are exceedingly lofty ; about
5 feet high each, I should think—but the ardent spirit will break his
heart to win the goal—besides I could not go back if I would. The two
Arabs dragged me forward by the arms—the volunteers pushed me up
from behind. It was in vain I remonstrated with the latter, kicking
violently as occasion offered—they still went on pushing. We arrived
at the first landing-place.
I drew out the poster—how it fluttered in the breeze !—With a trem-
bling hand I popped the brush into the paste pot, and smeared the back of
the placard, then I pasted up the Standard of our glorious leader—at 19
minutes past 7, by the clock of the great minaret at Cairo, which was
clearly visible through my refracting telescope. My heart throbbed when
the deed was done. My eyes filled with tears—I am not at liberty to
state here all the emotions of triumph and joy which rose in my bosom—
so exquisitely overpowering were they. There was Punch_familiar old
the knees tremble and totter, and you are on the summit! I don't know
how many hundred thousand feet it is above the level of the sea, but I
wonder after that tremendous exercise that I am not a roarer to my
dying hour.
When consciousness and lungs regained their play, another copy of
the placard was placed under a stone—a third was launched into air
in the manner before described, and we gave three immense cheers
for Punch, which astonished the undiscovered mummies that lie dark-
ling in tomb-chambers, and must have disturbed the broken-nosed old
Sphinx who has been couched for thousands of years in the desert hard by.
This done, we made our descent from the Pyramids.
And if, my dear Sir, you ask me whether it is worth a man's while to
mount up those enormous stones, I will say in confidence that thousands
of people went to see the Bottle Conjuror, and that we hear of gentlemen
becoming Free-Masons every day.