DOI Heft:
January to June, 1845
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16521#0103
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
107
PUNCH'S NOY'S MAXIMS.
PLEA OF A PUMP.
Ma. Punch,
As an old pump, an aristocratic old pump, the old pump of
Berkeley Square, 1 do not beg—J insist upon a hearing ! I am to be
rooted out, grubbed up, done away with. An Artesian well is to be suuk
in my place. This is one of a series of blows levelled at the aristocracy
of which I am a member. For years—almost centuries—I had stood in
Berkeley Square, and supplied that elegant quarter with a wholesome and
inexpensive beverage. Venerable peers, dainty dowagers, pursy prelates,
have drunk of my water. I stood a pump among pumps, proud to recog-
nize a link between myself and the nobility and gentry around me. Think
of an upstart Artesian well, whose water belongs essentially to a lower
level, taking precedence of me at my time of life! It is essentially low,
nay, derives its supply from the lowest strata—mine (excuse my honest
pride,) comes from "above the chalk." But I warn my patrons, that,
with that Artesian well-water, they will diink in low and degrading ideas.
Look at its behaviour in the fountains in Trafalgar Square. Like the
rest of its order, its conduct is sullen and contradictious. It has been
well said, in your own words, they seem incapable of playing, and posi-
tively refuse to work. With what cheerfulness, on the contrary, have
I gone on, day after day, summer and winter, pouring out my limpid
stream ! Who ever heard of my striking for a fresh coat of paint, or a
new ladle't 1 am as capable of supplying the Square as ever. Why,
then, am I to be forcibly stopped 1
You can do much. Speak for me. And if ever, parched by a July
sun, you pause in Berkeley Square, apply your lips to my grateful spout,
and drink your fill !
Yours, in indignation and alarm
The Old Behkeley-Square Pomp.
atuei vis maxima. The force
of nature is the greatest.—
This maxim means that no
power is greater than natural
affection ; but the power of
the steam-engine was un-
known when the maxim was
written. Parental affection
approaches nearer to steam ;
tor a father frequently blows
up his child, and in some
cases a good deal of the
affection of the former has
been known to evaporate.
19. The Law facoureth some
persons.—The reader will no
doubt think that Noy was in a merry mood when he talked of the
law favouring any one but the lawyers themselves, though when it
is ascertained who the favourites of the law really are, the maxim
Is not quite so enigmatical. The favoured individuals are women,
infants, idiots, madmen, and persons without intelligence, who being
all of them helpless, may be supposed to fall an easy prey to the
law, and are therefore its favourites : in the same sense as the
sparrow is the favourite of the hawk, or as the lamb is the especial
pet of the wolf, when the parties happen to come in contact. The
doctrine of tit-bits offers a wide scope for discussion : but it mav be n c , a ■ , „ r . mi u *
, .j , 1,1 , i t V. u r . ,. i P.b.— 1 write in a state ol acute suffering from frost, with a ban^^e of
laidI down as a general rule, that where the law gets hold of an idiot ; ^ round lowep extremitie8.
with property, it will favour him in one sense—for it will make much
of him. The gallantry of the law in classing women and lunatics I
together may be questionable ; but this is a point we leave the
lawyers and the ladies to settle between them. The Frozen Out Bucks.
20. Hie La w favoureth a man's person before his possession.—This is true
enough ; for the law will not spare a man's property, though it will
aften leave his person unmolested. Thus, the law will not lay hands
on an idiot's person, even for felony, but it will lay hands on his
property, by taking the earliest opportunity of clutching hold of it.
21. The law favoureth Matter of possession more tlian matter of right, wlien
the right is equal.—Thus, if two persons were to knock a man down
with the intention of robbing him, the law would, according to the
above maxim, favour the thief who managed to get possession of the
property. " This," says Spelman-, " is the doctrine of first come
first served ; for if six people sit down to dine on a chicken, it is
clear that they cannot all take; but he that is first seized, or rather
seizes first, will be entitled, though the right of all was in the first
instance equal." In the above case the remainder-man has no relief,
even though there may have been covin, for he has only a con-
tingent interest, which the estate—or chicken—may not be large
enough to satisfy.
22. Matter of profit or interest sImII be taken largely, and it may be
assigned, but it cannot be countermanded. But matter of pleasure, trust, or
authority, shall be taken strictly, and may be countermanded.—This maxim
is somewhat long, or, as Coke would say, it goes great lengths :
for when it says matter of profit shall be taken largely, it seems
to hit at the law itself, which does certainly take as largely as it
can any matter with profit attached to it. If I allow a man to
walk in my park, he cannot bring any one else to walk with him, for
it is merely a matter of pleasure ; but if I allow him to come to
play at leapfrog in my yard, it is doubtful whether he could not
bring a few friends, for no man can play at leapfrog by himself, and
the permission should include everything necessary to the full enjoy-
ment of it.
A licence to come into my house to speak with me may be coun-
termanded, for, if the party takes too much licence and becomes im-
pertinent, I may show him the door: as in Smith's case, where
Smith was asked in, but beginning to dun for his small account, the
licence to speak with me was revoked, and Smith, growing rude, was
«ent flying (vide Shower) down the hall-steps, till he became tenant
in tail of the pavement.
number three.
Three has always been an ominous number. There are the three
Fates—the third-class trains—Cerberus with his three heads—the three
'oor Law Commissioners, and—horribile dictu !—there are the Three
In consequence of the recent severe frost the ducks, who usually inhabit
the ornamental water in St. James's Park, were literally frozen out, and
were compelled to throw themselves on the charity of the numerous
nursery-maids and children who came for air and exercise. The sub-
scriptions were exceedingly liberal, and the senior duck returned thanks
in a neat and appropriate cackle.
DISTRESSING EFFECT OF THE AUCTION DUTY.
Among many oiher excellent reasons for taking off " the Auction
Duty," there is one which Sir Robert Peejl, passed over with a slight
allusion. Its oppression lias been a great source of madness in the
country. One maniac actually thretv his property into the Court of
Chancery, to escape this duty, which is not levied on estates sold by order
of that Court,
Yhars of the Income Tax. Hunterian Oration at the College, it has lost Us speech.
chirurgical con.
Meoicinr and Surgery have been called the Mute Arts. This asser-
tion, this year at least, holds good of Surgery, for, in the omission of tne
107
PUNCH'S NOY'S MAXIMS.
PLEA OF A PUMP.
Ma. Punch,
As an old pump, an aristocratic old pump, the old pump of
Berkeley Square, 1 do not beg—J insist upon a hearing ! I am to be
rooted out, grubbed up, done away with. An Artesian well is to be suuk
in my place. This is one of a series of blows levelled at the aristocracy
of which I am a member. For years—almost centuries—I had stood in
Berkeley Square, and supplied that elegant quarter with a wholesome and
inexpensive beverage. Venerable peers, dainty dowagers, pursy prelates,
have drunk of my water. I stood a pump among pumps, proud to recog-
nize a link between myself and the nobility and gentry around me. Think
of an upstart Artesian well, whose water belongs essentially to a lower
level, taking precedence of me at my time of life! It is essentially low,
nay, derives its supply from the lowest strata—mine (excuse my honest
pride,) comes from "above the chalk." But I warn my patrons, that,
with that Artesian well-water, they will diink in low and degrading ideas.
Look at its behaviour in the fountains in Trafalgar Square. Like the
rest of its order, its conduct is sullen and contradictious. It has been
well said, in your own words, they seem incapable of playing, and posi-
tively refuse to work. With what cheerfulness, on the contrary, have
I gone on, day after day, summer and winter, pouring out my limpid
stream ! Who ever heard of my striking for a fresh coat of paint, or a
new ladle't 1 am as capable of supplying the Square as ever. Why,
then, am I to be forcibly stopped 1
You can do much. Speak for me. And if ever, parched by a July
sun, you pause in Berkeley Square, apply your lips to my grateful spout,
and drink your fill !
Yours, in indignation and alarm
The Old Behkeley-Square Pomp.
atuei vis maxima. The force
of nature is the greatest.—
This maxim means that no
power is greater than natural
affection ; but the power of
the steam-engine was un-
known when the maxim was
written. Parental affection
approaches nearer to steam ;
tor a father frequently blows
up his child, and in some
cases a good deal of the
affection of the former has
been known to evaporate.
19. The Law facoureth some
persons.—The reader will no
doubt think that Noy was in a merry mood when he talked of the
law favouring any one but the lawyers themselves, though when it
is ascertained who the favourites of the law really are, the maxim
Is not quite so enigmatical. The favoured individuals are women,
infants, idiots, madmen, and persons without intelligence, who being
all of them helpless, may be supposed to fall an easy prey to the
law, and are therefore its favourites : in the same sense as the
sparrow is the favourite of the hawk, or as the lamb is the especial
pet of the wolf, when the parties happen to come in contact. The
doctrine of tit-bits offers a wide scope for discussion : but it mav be n c , a ■ , „ r . mi u *
, .j , 1,1 , i t V. u r . ,. i P.b.— 1 write in a state ol acute suffering from frost, with a ban^^e of
laidI down as a general rule, that where the law gets hold of an idiot ; ^ round lowep extremitie8.
with property, it will favour him in one sense—for it will make much
of him. The gallantry of the law in classing women and lunatics I
together may be questionable ; but this is a point we leave the
lawyers and the ladies to settle between them. The Frozen Out Bucks.
20. Hie La w favoureth a man's person before his possession.—This is true
enough ; for the law will not spare a man's property, though it will
aften leave his person unmolested. Thus, the law will not lay hands
on an idiot's person, even for felony, but it will lay hands on his
property, by taking the earliest opportunity of clutching hold of it.
21. The law favoureth Matter of possession more tlian matter of right, wlien
the right is equal.—Thus, if two persons were to knock a man down
with the intention of robbing him, the law would, according to the
above maxim, favour the thief who managed to get possession of the
property. " This," says Spelman-, " is the doctrine of first come
first served ; for if six people sit down to dine on a chicken, it is
clear that they cannot all take; but he that is first seized, or rather
seizes first, will be entitled, though the right of all was in the first
instance equal." In the above case the remainder-man has no relief,
even though there may have been covin, for he has only a con-
tingent interest, which the estate—or chicken—may not be large
enough to satisfy.
22. Matter of profit or interest sImII be taken largely, and it may be
assigned, but it cannot be countermanded. But matter of pleasure, trust, or
authority, shall be taken strictly, and may be countermanded.—This maxim
is somewhat long, or, as Coke would say, it goes great lengths :
for when it says matter of profit shall be taken largely, it seems
to hit at the law itself, which does certainly take as largely as it
can any matter with profit attached to it. If I allow a man to
walk in my park, he cannot bring any one else to walk with him, for
it is merely a matter of pleasure ; but if I allow him to come to
play at leapfrog in my yard, it is doubtful whether he could not
bring a few friends, for no man can play at leapfrog by himself, and
the permission should include everything necessary to the full enjoy-
ment of it.
A licence to come into my house to speak with me may be coun-
termanded, for, if the party takes too much licence and becomes im-
pertinent, I may show him the door: as in Smith's case, where
Smith was asked in, but beginning to dun for his small account, the
licence to speak with me was revoked, and Smith, growing rude, was
«ent flying (vide Shower) down the hall-steps, till he became tenant
in tail of the pavement.
number three.
Three has always been an ominous number. There are the three
Fates—the third-class trains—Cerberus with his three heads—the three
'oor Law Commissioners, and—horribile dictu !—there are the Three
In consequence of the recent severe frost the ducks, who usually inhabit
the ornamental water in St. James's Park, were literally frozen out, and
were compelled to throw themselves on the charity of the numerous
nursery-maids and children who came for air and exercise. The sub-
scriptions were exceedingly liberal, and the senior duck returned thanks
in a neat and appropriate cackle.
DISTRESSING EFFECT OF THE AUCTION DUTY.
Among many oiher excellent reasons for taking off " the Auction
Duty," there is one which Sir Robert Peejl, passed over with a slight
allusion. Its oppression lias been a great source of madness in the
country. One maniac actually thretv his property into the Court of
Chancery, to escape this duty, which is not levied on estates sold by order
of that Court,
Yhars of the Income Tax. Hunterian Oration at the College, it has lost Us speech.
chirurgical con.
Meoicinr and Surgery have been called the Mute Arts. This asser-
tion, this year at least, holds good of Surgery, for, in the omission of tne