DOI issue:
July to December, 1847
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16545#0025
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
13
The gentle reader, who has overheard their talk, will understand
the doubts which pervaded the mind of the lovely Fatima, and the
well-nurtured English maiden will participate in the divided feelings
which rent her bosom. 'Tis true, that on his departure for the holy
wars, Romane and Fatima were plighted to each other; but the folly
of long engagements is proverbial: and though for many months the
faithful and affectionate girl had looked in vain for news from him, her
admirable parents had long spoken with repugnance of a match which
must bring inevitable poverty to both parties. They had suffered, 'tis
true, the engagement to subside, hostile as they ever were to it: but
when at the death of the ninth lady of Barbazure, the noble Baron
remarked Fatima at the funeral, and rode home with her after the
ceremony, her prudent parents saw how much wiser, better, happier, for
their child it would be to have for life a partner like the Baron, than to
wait the doubtful return of the penniless wanderer to whom she was
plighted.
Ah! how beautiful and pure a being! how regardless of self! how true
to duty! how obedient to parental command, is that earthly angel, a well-
bred woman of genteel lamily! Instead of indulging in splenetic re-
fusals or vain regrets for her absent lover, the exemplary Fatima at
once signified to her excellent parents her willingness to obey their
orders; though she had sorrows (and she declared them to be tre-
mendous), the admirable being disguised them so well, that none knew
they oppressed her. She said she would try to forget former ties, and
(so strong in her mind was duty above every other feeling; so strong
may it be in every British maiden!) the lovely girl kept her promise.
" My former engagements," she said, packing up Romane's letters and
presents, (which, as the good knight was mortal poor, were in sooth of
no great price)—" my former engagements I look upon as childish follies;
—my affections are fixed where my dear parents graft them—on the
noble, the princely, the polite Barbazure. 'Tis true he is not comely
in feature, but the chaste and well-bred female knows how to despise
the fleeting charms of form. 'Tis true he is old; but can woman be better
employed than in tending her aged and sickly companion ? That he has
been married is likewise certain—but ah, my mother ! who knows not
that he must be a good and tender husband, who, nine times wedded,
owns that he cannot be happv without another partner r"
It was with these admirable sentiments the lovely Fatima proposed
obedience to her parents' will, and consented to receive the magnificent
marriage gift presented to her by her gallant bridegroom.
the national talent.
The new Crown Piece has been so beautifully executed that, says
c.- Spectator, "the five-shilling piece would probably be worth ten
.wings were it issued from any other die stamper's shop than Her
ajesty's." We have here an exemplification of our national talent,
ne art in which England most excels is that of making money.
Oh, I wish I knew what the law was on any subject whatever! I
make it, but when I've made it, I can't tell what I've made; no,
never ! Every law passed om session, the next is sure to be amended •
and what that first amendment does, is not easily comprehended. But
that's a trifle; for then there comes the amendment of the amendment;
and, by that time, I've clean forgotten the original law's intendment!
And then, to make darkness visible, there's the clause of interpretation,
subverting what used to be grammar, when I had my education;
knocking_ masculine into feminine in the most irregular fashion; and
confounding plural and singular without the least compassion; cram-
ming Privilege over the fences of Priscian, hurry-scurry; and using the
Speaker's mace to brain poor Lindley Murray.
And now there's a new invention, worse than all the rest put
together—(I declare it's a sin and shame to bring that out this hot
weather)—for since they've used those infernal Acts of "Consolidation
Clauses," I defy any county member to say what any part of the laws is.
For every Bill that's brought forward we find, to our consternation,
don't stand by itself, but is tacked on to some lumping "Consolidation."
And while before us, in the House, we've the body of the measure,
the head and tail have already been stamped with the Royal assent and
pleasure. And we haven't the slightest notion of what it is we're
doing; we may be hatching Chartists, or French revolutions brewing.
It's very disagreeable to feel that we 're led by our noses, and put (quite
in the dark) though a series of plastic poses. But I can't understand
what I'm about, though I use my best endeavour. These Consolidation
Clauses Acts! I shall never be up to them, never!
THE BEST BOOK AT CAMBRIDGE.
Poetry hatl its representative at the Cambridge Festival. Mr.
Samuel Rogers was especially invited by Doctor Whewell to
attend. We give the correspondence :—
"Doctor Whewell presents his compliments to Mr. Samuel
Rogers, and begs that the University of Cambridge may be honoured
with Ins presence at the approaching Festival. Doctor W. trusts
that Mr. R. will bring with him, for the delight of the University,
w hat Cambridge considers his best book."
" Mr. Rogers presents his compliments to Doctor Whewell, and
will do himself the honour of attending the ceremony. Mr. R. must,
however, inquire which book the University considers his best book ? "
" Doctor Whewell presents his compliments to Mr. Rogers. His
cheque-book."
" THE SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL "
This Comedy is certainlv in fashion. It is not only being acted at
the Haymarket, to crowded houses, but is drawing immense audiences
at the 'Chamber of Peers, besides filling the entire town of Madrid,
which can talk of nothing else. We must say, however, that Monsieur
Girardin, though he acts with a certain boldness, which makes parti-
cular points tell, does not get on very well, and that the Queen
Isabella is very far behind Mrs. Nisbett in the amount of applause
which she gains for supporting her arduous character. The supernu-
meraries, Messrs. Teste, Cubieres, and other players of small parts,
though they took tremendously with the French at first, only offend the
taste of the public, now that their tricks in going in for strong effect s
are found out; and we have no doubt that as soon as they have had a
fair trial, they will be dismissed from their engagements. The decora-
tions were verv expensively got up at Paris ; one of them did not cost
less than 80,000 francs; but they "hang" dreadfully, and are so very
dirty, that the public loudly condemn them.
The Ensuing Election.
Persons desirous of becoming candidates for the House of Commons
at the ensuing election are respectfully informed that they can be sup-
plied with principles warranted to wear an entire session. _ They are
made of a new material, so elastic as to be capable of giving to any
extent, and adapting themselves to all the changes in fashion that may
be required. The much-admired Peel Wrapper is strongly recom-
mended for the use of those who are equally susceptible to hot and cold,
while the far-famed Disraeli Dreadnought, for stormy weather, can be
had at a considerable reduction, in consequence of its having been soiled
and otherwise damaged. A few Protectionist Paletots remaining still
on hand must be cleared off at a sacrifice.
13
The gentle reader, who has overheard their talk, will understand
the doubts which pervaded the mind of the lovely Fatima, and the
well-nurtured English maiden will participate in the divided feelings
which rent her bosom. 'Tis true, that on his departure for the holy
wars, Romane and Fatima were plighted to each other; but the folly
of long engagements is proverbial: and though for many months the
faithful and affectionate girl had looked in vain for news from him, her
admirable parents had long spoken with repugnance of a match which
must bring inevitable poverty to both parties. They had suffered, 'tis
true, the engagement to subside, hostile as they ever were to it: but
when at the death of the ninth lady of Barbazure, the noble Baron
remarked Fatima at the funeral, and rode home with her after the
ceremony, her prudent parents saw how much wiser, better, happier, for
their child it would be to have for life a partner like the Baron, than to
wait the doubtful return of the penniless wanderer to whom she was
plighted.
Ah! how beautiful and pure a being! how regardless of self! how true
to duty! how obedient to parental command, is that earthly angel, a well-
bred woman of genteel lamily! Instead of indulging in splenetic re-
fusals or vain regrets for her absent lover, the exemplary Fatima at
once signified to her excellent parents her willingness to obey their
orders; though she had sorrows (and she declared them to be tre-
mendous), the admirable being disguised them so well, that none knew
they oppressed her. She said she would try to forget former ties, and
(so strong in her mind was duty above every other feeling; so strong
may it be in every British maiden!) the lovely girl kept her promise.
" My former engagements," she said, packing up Romane's letters and
presents, (which, as the good knight was mortal poor, were in sooth of
no great price)—" my former engagements I look upon as childish follies;
—my affections are fixed where my dear parents graft them—on the
noble, the princely, the polite Barbazure. 'Tis true he is not comely
in feature, but the chaste and well-bred female knows how to despise
the fleeting charms of form. 'Tis true he is old; but can woman be better
employed than in tending her aged and sickly companion ? That he has
been married is likewise certain—but ah, my mother ! who knows not
that he must be a good and tender husband, who, nine times wedded,
owns that he cannot be happv without another partner r"
It was with these admirable sentiments the lovely Fatima proposed
obedience to her parents' will, and consented to receive the magnificent
marriage gift presented to her by her gallant bridegroom.
the national talent.
The new Crown Piece has been so beautifully executed that, says
c.- Spectator, "the five-shilling piece would probably be worth ten
.wings were it issued from any other die stamper's shop than Her
ajesty's." We have here an exemplification of our national talent,
ne art in which England most excels is that of making money.
Oh, I wish I knew what the law was on any subject whatever! I
make it, but when I've made it, I can't tell what I've made; no,
never ! Every law passed om session, the next is sure to be amended •
and what that first amendment does, is not easily comprehended. But
that's a trifle; for then there comes the amendment of the amendment;
and, by that time, I've clean forgotten the original law's intendment!
And then, to make darkness visible, there's the clause of interpretation,
subverting what used to be grammar, when I had my education;
knocking_ masculine into feminine in the most irregular fashion; and
confounding plural and singular without the least compassion; cram-
ming Privilege over the fences of Priscian, hurry-scurry; and using the
Speaker's mace to brain poor Lindley Murray.
And now there's a new invention, worse than all the rest put
together—(I declare it's a sin and shame to bring that out this hot
weather)—for since they've used those infernal Acts of "Consolidation
Clauses," I defy any county member to say what any part of the laws is.
For every Bill that's brought forward we find, to our consternation,
don't stand by itself, but is tacked on to some lumping "Consolidation."
And while before us, in the House, we've the body of the measure,
the head and tail have already been stamped with the Royal assent and
pleasure. And we haven't the slightest notion of what it is we're
doing; we may be hatching Chartists, or French revolutions brewing.
It's very disagreeable to feel that we 're led by our noses, and put (quite
in the dark) though a series of plastic poses. But I can't understand
what I'm about, though I use my best endeavour. These Consolidation
Clauses Acts! I shall never be up to them, never!
THE BEST BOOK AT CAMBRIDGE.
Poetry hatl its representative at the Cambridge Festival. Mr.
Samuel Rogers was especially invited by Doctor Whewell to
attend. We give the correspondence :—
"Doctor Whewell presents his compliments to Mr. Samuel
Rogers, and begs that the University of Cambridge may be honoured
with Ins presence at the approaching Festival. Doctor W. trusts
that Mr. R. will bring with him, for the delight of the University,
w hat Cambridge considers his best book."
" Mr. Rogers presents his compliments to Doctor Whewell, and
will do himself the honour of attending the ceremony. Mr. R. must,
however, inquire which book the University considers his best book ? "
" Doctor Whewell presents his compliments to Mr. Rogers. His
cheque-book."
" THE SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL "
This Comedy is certainlv in fashion. It is not only being acted at
the Haymarket, to crowded houses, but is drawing immense audiences
at the 'Chamber of Peers, besides filling the entire town of Madrid,
which can talk of nothing else. We must say, however, that Monsieur
Girardin, though he acts with a certain boldness, which makes parti-
cular points tell, does not get on very well, and that the Queen
Isabella is very far behind Mrs. Nisbett in the amount of applause
which she gains for supporting her arduous character. The supernu-
meraries, Messrs. Teste, Cubieres, and other players of small parts,
though they took tremendously with the French at first, only offend the
taste of the public, now that their tricks in going in for strong effect s
are found out; and we have no doubt that as soon as they have had a
fair trial, they will be dismissed from their engagements. The decora-
tions were verv expensively got up at Paris ; one of them did not cost
less than 80,000 francs; but they "hang" dreadfully, and are so very
dirty, that the public loudly condemn them.
The Ensuing Election.
Persons desirous of becoming candidates for the House of Commons
at the ensuing election are respectfully informed that they can be sup-
plied with principles warranted to wear an entire session. _ They are
made of a new material, so elastic as to be capable of giving to any
extent, and adapting themselves to all the changes in fashion that may
be required. The much-admired Peel Wrapper is strongly recom-
mended for the use of those who are equally susceptible to hot and cold,
while the far-famed Disraeli Dreadnought, for stormy weather, can be
had at a considerable reduction, in consequence of its having been soiled
and otherwise damaged. A few Protectionist Paletots remaining still
on hand must be cleared off at a sacrifice.