DOI Heft:
January to June, 1849
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16548#0051
44 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Teat respectable and garrulous old " gent," pBPYS, tells us, more
than once, of the decoy for ducks that used to be kept, up in Sj. James's
Park. The thing still appears to exist, with the slight change, that
instead of a decoy for ducks, the " ornamental water" has become,
under the auspices of the Royal Humane Society, a decoy for duckings.
They have put a very high premium on immersion in frosty weather.
It is not to be expected that poor persons, unused to warm baths, hot
brandy-and-water, and well-aired blankets, should be able to resist the
temptation of a tumble-in that is certain to be followed by the prompt
and liberal supply of such luxurious comforts. It, is true they do go
through the cermiony of putting up a post and tablet marked
"Dangerous." But this is like a placard in a piutomiine. Eater
Harlequin as a K.H.S. man with a life-preserver—taps the placard with
his ice-pike, and it changes to " Baths, blankets, and brandy-and-
water, to be had within! "
We are writing in very mild weather, or we might shrink from giving
further publicity to the arrangements made by the B..H.S. for the com-
forts of the skating public, lest we might induce a rush to the soft
parts of the ice, and a run on the accommodation of the tent.
We offer the above transformation to next year's pantomime-makers,
and would only remind the persons who show such a determination to
break the ice, that those who dive after the comforts of the ll.H.S, da
not always come up again.
THE CHILD-IABM.
A jolly life the farmer's life, a hearty and a hale,
Who sows the seed and mows the mead, gives beef and bread and ale ;
Blest of a hungry world is he—so said a sage of yore—
Who makes two blades of grass to grow where one blade grew before.
A pleasant sight the golden light, of a yellow harvest-field,
With rich ripe ears that whisper to the wind of glorious yield;
The laden wains that tell of pains with ample increase crowned,
The vat3 that ream, the churns that cream, the plenty all around.
But if a hungry world cries praise and honour unto him,
The farmer of the food which feeds the nation's life and limb—
What should a crowded world bestow on the other farmer keen,
Who thins the human crop that grows so over rankly green ?
If harvest fields be fair to see, with milky spikes a-row,
There is that, other harvest-field where little children giow ;
So thankfully our country views the increase of the first, The Spread of Literature.
So with unloving looks and harsh is the last's increase curst. All the papers have -ot a fit of enlargement. It is lucky the law
Not under Heaven's blue, open eve, not fanned by sweet spring gale, has fixed {&x^t ?ize 01 a newspaper or else our present small
But, darkly pent in foetid dens, stunted, and shrunk, and pale, " h.ouses ^ould ™™ be to fad onef f1 our, newspapers
THE PUBLIC VOICE.
The Public Voice, for the last fortnight, has had a frightful coid. It
has been doing nothing but sneezing and coughing everywhere.
Jenny Lind's songs at Exeter Hail were sung to a running accompani-
ment of catarrhs, and eacli soft entreaty to "hush" was responded to-
by a mighty " Hi-i-i-sh-Ha " that sounded exactly as if the big drum
had burst. Really, an intimation ought to be put at the bottom of the
bills : " No Coughs admitted." A song from the Swedish Nightingale
is one of those things that should not, be sneezjd at. A sanitary
commission should sit at the doors, and take a viva voce examination
of all persons who enter; for if the Public Voice cannot remain quiet
when it is in public, it had better stop at home, and take its gruel by
the fireside, and put its feet, in warm water, and get cured as soon
Bus possible. The Public Voice, when it has a cold, is very like one
of Verdi's operas—all noise and no melody.
Wither those listless little ones, or grow to England's harm,
The fruits of our o'er-fatted mould, crop of the Children's Farm.
A cheerful man the farmer—merry, and kind, and bland,
To Guardians shovelling workhouse seed into his open hand ;
The o'er-gorged Union pours and pours, but the expansive ground
Swallows all up, and to the crop enlarges still its bound.
A constant crop—no stay, no stop—no lying fallow there,
The seed is Want and Wretchedness, the growth Disease, Despair.
O, that such shoots from human roots at human hands should grow !
0, Limbo-gates with infant deaths inscribed, and tears and woe!
About those naked tables grows Hunger, sharp and shrewd ;
In those close-crowded sleeping wards grows Sin, unshamed and rude;
Through those dank yards grows Pestilence, in scant and squalid dress,
And everywhere, rank undergrowth, Disgust, Distrust, Distress.
A crop for Hell to foster—a crop for Heaven to blight—
I see a cloud of infant souls, thick floating up the light;
Innocent souls of infants, by an Almighty arm
Plucked from the tender nurture of an English Children's Farm.
For us, with Laws and Churches, with pulpits and with pens,
And monthly visitations of such unhallowed dens—
Oh well for us and well for ours, methmks, it needs must be,
And, looking on our neighbours' faults, what spotless things are we !
keep enlarging at their present rate, London must be enlarged also, to con-
tain them. By the bye, has any one ever attempted to read an enlarged
newspaper completely through ? We really think, if the most diligent
reader began the first thing on Sunday morning, it would take him a.
good fortnight bsfore he could possibly get to the end of his long
journey of type!
A CHANCE NOT OFTEN MET WITH.— A young Gentleman, of an
. * active, enterprising disposition, 'is anxious to join a spirited companion with
£500,—or £1000 would be better. It is his desire to proceed instantly to California,
where a certain fortune awaits them both. The young gentleman has no means of
his own, but he would be too happy to repay any sum, however large, that was.
advanced to him, out of the -very first proceeds he clears on the " Continent or
Gold." The young gentleman is lively, cheerful, full of anecdote, can sing a good
song, knows the most entertaining tricks at cards, whistles, fights, shoots, swims,
all to perfection, and engages to make himself generally useful and agreeable. He
has also the quickest eve for money, andean tell a piece of gold the moment he
sees it. Address to 'Jeremy D—ddl—R, Esq., Swindal Chambers, Cheapside.
References of the greatest respectability required, but no premium.
To the Charitable.—We read a great deal in the papers about
"Davis' Straits." Can nothing be done to help the poor fellow
through ?
Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 6, York Place, Stoke Newinjtton, and Frederick Mullett Evan",
of No. Church Row, Stoke Newiugton, bot^ In the County of Middlesex, Printers, at thfip
Office in Lombard Street, ii the Precinct of WbltefriarR, in the City of London, au4 Published
by them at No, 85, Fleet Street, in the Pariah ot St. Elide, in the City of Loudon.—Sajubuai.
Jakuahv 27th, 1849.
Teat respectable and garrulous old " gent," pBPYS, tells us, more
than once, of the decoy for ducks that used to be kept, up in Sj. James's
Park. The thing still appears to exist, with the slight change, that
instead of a decoy for ducks, the " ornamental water" has become,
under the auspices of the Royal Humane Society, a decoy for duckings.
They have put a very high premium on immersion in frosty weather.
It is not to be expected that poor persons, unused to warm baths, hot
brandy-and-water, and well-aired blankets, should be able to resist the
temptation of a tumble-in that is certain to be followed by the prompt
and liberal supply of such luxurious comforts. It, is true they do go
through the cermiony of putting up a post and tablet marked
"Dangerous." But this is like a placard in a piutomiine. Eater
Harlequin as a K.H.S. man with a life-preserver—taps the placard with
his ice-pike, and it changes to " Baths, blankets, and brandy-and-
water, to be had within! "
We are writing in very mild weather, or we might shrink from giving
further publicity to the arrangements made by the B..H.S. for the com-
forts of the skating public, lest we might induce a rush to the soft
parts of the ice, and a run on the accommodation of the tent.
We offer the above transformation to next year's pantomime-makers,
and would only remind the persons who show such a determination to
break the ice, that those who dive after the comforts of the ll.H.S, da
not always come up again.
THE CHILD-IABM.
A jolly life the farmer's life, a hearty and a hale,
Who sows the seed and mows the mead, gives beef and bread and ale ;
Blest of a hungry world is he—so said a sage of yore—
Who makes two blades of grass to grow where one blade grew before.
A pleasant sight the golden light, of a yellow harvest-field,
With rich ripe ears that whisper to the wind of glorious yield;
The laden wains that tell of pains with ample increase crowned,
The vat3 that ream, the churns that cream, the plenty all around.
But if a hungry world cries praise and honour unto him,
The farmer of the food which feeds the nation's life and limb—
What should a crowded world bestow on the other farmer keen,
Who thins the human crop that grows so over rankly green ?
If harvest fields be fair to see, with milky spikes a-row,
There is that, other harvest-field where little children giow ;
So thankfully our country views the increase of the first, The Spread of Literature.
So with unloving looks and harsh is the last's increase curst. All the papers have -ot a fit of enlargement. It is lucky the law
Not under Heaven's blue, open eve, not fanned by sweet spring gale, has fixed {&x^t ?ize 01 a newspaper or else our present small
But, darkly pent in foetid dens, stunted, and shrunk, and pale, " h.ouses ^ould ™™ be to fad onef f1 our, newspapers
THE PUBLIC VOICE.
The Public Voice, for the last fortnight, has had a frightful coid. It
has been doing nothing but sneezing and coughing everywhere.
Jenny Lind's songs at Exeter Hail were sung to a running accompani-
ment of catarrhs, and eacli soft entreaty to "hush" was responded to-
by a mighty " Hi-i-i-sh-Ha " that sounded exactly as if the big drum
had burst. Really, an intimation ought to be put at the bottom of the
bills : " No Coughs admitted." A song from the Swedish Nightingale
is one of those things that should not, be sneezjd at. A sanitary
commission should sit at the doors, and take a viva voce examination
of all persons who enter; for if the Public Voice cannot remain quiet
when it is in public, it had better stop at home, and take its gruel by
the fireside, and put its feet, in warm water, and get cured as soon
Bus possible. The Public Voice, when it has a cold, is very like one
of Verdi's operas—all noise and no melody.
Wither those listless little ones, or grow to England's harm,
The fruits of our o'er-fatted mould, crop of the Children's Farm.
A cheerful man the farmer—merry, and kind, and bland,
To Guardians shovelling workhouse seed into his open hand ;
The o'er-gorged Union pours and pours, but the expansive ground
Swallows all up, and to the crop enlarges still its bound.
A constant crop—no stay, no stop—no lying fallow there,
The seed is Want and Wretchedness, the growth Disease, Despair.
O, that such shoots from human roots at human hands should grow !
0, Limbo-gates with infant deaths inscribed, and tears and woe!
About those naked tables grows Hunger, sharp and shrewd ;
In those close-crowded sleeping wards grows Sin, unshamed and rude;
Through those dank yards grows Pestilence, in scant and squalid dress,
And everywhere, rank undergrowth, Disgust, Distrust, Distress.
A crop for Hell to foster—a crop for Heaven to blight—
I see a cloud of infant souls, thick floating up the light;
Innocent souls of infants, by an Almighty arm
Plucked from the tender nurture of an English Children's Farm.
For us, with Laws and Churches, with pulpits and with pens,
And monthly visitations of such unhallowed dens—
Oh well for us and well for ours, methmks, it needs must be,
And, looking on our neighbours' faults, what spotless things are we !
keep enlarging at their present rate, London must be enlarged also, to con-
tain them. By the bye, has any one ever attempted to read an enlarged
newspaper completely through ? We really think, if the most diligent
reader began the first thing on Sunday morning, it would take him a.
good fortnight bsfore he could possibly get to the end of his long
journey of type!
A CHANCE NOT OFTEN MET WITH.— A young Gentleman, of an
. * active, enterprising disposition, 'is anxious to join a spirited companion with
£500,—or £1000 would be better. It is his desire to proceed instantly to California,
where a certain fortune awaits them both. The young gentleman has no means of
his own, but he would be too happy to repay any sum, however large, that was.
advanced to him, out of the -very first proceeds he clears on the " Continent or
Gold." The young gentleman is lively, cheerful, full of anecdote, can sing a good
song, knows the most entertaining tricks at cards, whistles, fights, shoots, swims,
all to perfection, and engages to make himself generally useful and agreeable. He
has also the quickest eve for money, andean tell a piece of gold the moment he
sees it. Address to 'Jeremy D—ddl—R, Esq., Swindal Chambers, Cheapside.
References of the greatest respectability required, but no premium.
To the Charitable.—We read a great deal in the papers about
"Davis' Straits." Can nothing be done to help the poor fellow
through ?
Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 6, York Place, Stoke Newinjtton, and Frederick Mullett Evan",
of No. Church Row, Stoke Newiugton, bot^ In the County of Middlesex, Printers, at thfip
Office in Lombard Street, ii the Precinct of WbltefriarR, in the City of London, au4 Published
by them at No, 85, Fleet Street, in the Pariah ot St. Elide, in the City of Loudon.—Sajubuai.
Jakuahv 27th, 1849.