Punch (16.1849)

144 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

PESFECT SINCERITY, OR THINKINGS ALOUD. No. 2.

" NO DOOR-MAT TO-NIGHT."

Sphinx has i found" an interpreter! The
Gordian knot has been cut; or, in other
words, the Great Door-Mat riddle inserted
in the second column of the Times, and noticed
in our last number, has received a solution,
Though we at first stumbled over the Door-
Mat, which appeared to meet us in the very
threshold of inquiry, and impede us at the
very door, we have found the key, or rather,
the key has been forwarded to us by a Corre-
spondent whom we can rely upon. It appears
that some old College friends founded some
.years ago a Club among themselves under
the denomination of the Door-Mat, and on
a recent occasion something having occurred
to prevent the customary weekly meeting,
the advertisement in the Second Column of
the Times was inserted as the readiest method
of apprising the members of the fact. . This
j intimation as to the solution of the mystery
! will prevent^ many ingenious persons from
! puzzling their heads as to the meaning of
j t he mystery; and many imaginative indivi-
duals will be spared the trouble of concocting
j incorrect explanations of an affair upon which
t hey are as ignorant as the public in general.
As we have been instrumental in bringing
the Door-Mat on the carpet, we think we
ought to give the world the benefit of the
information we have received.

Mamma. " You are a disagreeable Old Baohklor, and generally hate children, I know
—bui isn't dear little Wormwood a fine, noble, little fellow I"

Old Gent " Well, if you want my candid opinion, I may as well tell you at once—that
I think him tub most detest able little beast I ever saw—and if you imagine 1 am going

very hard, and very hard up.

The insolvent members complain very bit-
terly, and not without some show of reason,
that they who devote themselves to the busi-
ness of Legislation, should be prohibited

to leave dim anything because you have named him ai teh me, you are mightily mistaken." I themselves from taking the benefit of an Act.

LET HIM TURN AND FLEE.

We beg to call attention to an involuntary contribution which has
just been made to the British Museum by those concerned in the
improper ventilation of the Reading Room, as will be at once seen by
the following extract from the evidence before tbe Commission of
Inquiry that has lately been holding its sittings. While T. H. Turner,
Esq., was under examination, he made the following reply to a question
(No. 6208;, which was addressed to him by Sir R. 1. Mukchison' :—

"6208. (Sir R. I. Murchison.) Have you found any Inconvenience from the want of
ventilation?—Yes ; and i would observe that nothing can equal the dirt of the Reading
Room. There is a flea generated in that room that is larger than any to be found
elsewhere, except in the receiving rooms of workhouses."

It is evident that an acquisition has been made by the British Museum,
which the Authorities do not properly appreciate, for here is a "Monster
Flea " which has a right to rank among the Megatheria of insect life,
and to take its place by the side of the Mammoth Moths and other
wonders of animated Nature, which are contained in the great National
collection. We insist, in the name of the Public, that a detainer should
instantly be lodged against this extraordinary Flea, or that it should be
brought up by Habeas before the Zoological Society, or removed by
Certiorari from the Reading Room to some other apartment in the
Museum. If the race of this Monster Flea could be preserved, it
would be of the utmost service in supplying the next demand occasioned
by those whom it is positively necessary to send away with a Flea in
the ear, on sundry occasions.

The Beautiful Privilege of Insolvency.

Creditor. " Sir, will you or will you not pay me this little bill ? "

Debtor. " No, I cannot."

Creditor. " I understand, Sir, you will not ? "

Debtor. " Precisely^ I will not."

Creditor. " Then, Sir, I shall arrest you."

Debtor. " Ion will do no such thing."

Creditor. " I will."

Debtor. "You won't {pointing to the door). Leave me."
Creditor {in a great passion). " Sir, I took you for a Gentleman."
Debtor. " You had better not, then, for I'm a Member of Parliament,
and if you take me for a Gentleman, you'll find it false imprisoIlment.,'

A PERUKE FOR A PRELATE.

It is proposed, in acknowledgment of the reputation hi the Courts of
Law, which has been acquired by the Bishop or Exeter, to present
the Right Reverend Prelate with an appropriate Testimonial m the
shape of a new Wig. The wig is to be got up by an eminent perruquier

in the Forensic style, which is obviously more suitable than the Epis-
copal to Dr. Philpotts. Discharging the functions of a prosecutor
more frequently than the Attorney-General himself, it is quite right
that the Bishop should be properly wigged ; and he ought also to have
a long robe to wear, wThich, to say the least, would become hirn full as
well as his lawn sleeves do.

Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 13, Upper Wobum PUce in tbe Pari-.ta of St. Pancras; and
Frederick Mullett Evans, or No.7,Cburch Row, Stoke Newington, both in the County of Middlesex,
Printers, at their Orfice in Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London,
and Published by them at No. 16, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride, in the City of London
—Satubdai, Aran. J to, 1S4U.