DOI issue:
January to June, 1849
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16548#0227
220
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
A VERY ODD FISH.
have seen the Sea
Serpent meander-
ing along the co-
lumns of our illus-
trated contempo-
raries, and we
have been referred
to a subsequent
page for the con-
tinuation of his
very elaborate tail.
' But a novel at-
tempt to realise
this ideal monster
of the deep has
been n ade at
1 lie Cosmorama
<< PUNCH " TO " fffje Emus."
Dear fttntttf.
It has become the fashion for every one with a grievance to
write either to you or to me, and without any disrespect to the Peers,
it may be said that wc are looked upon as constituting jointly, or
severally, a court of appeal much more rapid in its working, if not more
satisfactory in its judgments, than the upper House, when it "sits in
error," as some of its members are apt to do when they are sitting any-
where. If anybody, including all sorts of nobodies, can take the
liberty of writing to both of us, we may surely exercise the freedom of
writing occasionally to one another. You may perhaps be rather busier
than I am, and so I shall not be offended if you do not always answer my
letters, for whether you do or not, there can be no charge got up
against you for not answering, since it is well known that there never
was a journal in the world which answered half so well.
I don't, however, mean to say you have deserved what you have
got, for it is not my practice to be complimentary. My object_ in
writing to you on this occasion is to complain of the result of my havint
moral a f0)|mvC(i ^jie Government recommendation to establish a slit in my door,
<^ZS "Lwfo with a letter-box attached to if, to prevent the Postman from having
1 he trouble of knocking and waiting for the opening of the door, when
he comes with the letters.
Unfortunately, though the system keeps the door shut to the Post-
man, it opens the door to a number of disagreeables, which it would
require the whole of one of your Supplements to enumerate. Being in
the habit of looking at the whole of my private correspondence at the
close of the day, I sought my new letter-box on the first evening of its
having been put up, and the contents formed a miscellany such as the
Postman would never have been allowed to leave had he knocked at the
door with it, in the ordinary manner.
The first article was an oyster-shell: but as I know all sorts of things
are sent by Post, I began to examine the shell, thinking it might be an
ingenious way of advertising a new edition of Shelley; or that I
should find inscribed upon it the price of oysters, with the address of
some enterprising monger of fish, who had taken this mode of attracting
customers.
Turning, however, to the next article in my letter-box, I found a
miserable outcast from the vegetable kingdom, in the form of a decayed
radish, who had evidently been banished from some halfpenny bundle of
his fellow-vegetables, as unfit to be their associate. He had lost the
freshness of early life, and I consoled myself by reading in his withered
leaves a lesson of morality, until my hand lighted on some leaden sub-
stance which had been dropped into my letter-box. Judge, Sir, of my
indignation when 1 drew out several dumps, and I could not help
exclaiming to myself—the only person I can get to listen to me
pat icntly when I am in an exclaiming humour,—"And has practical
joking fallen to this very dumpy level r "
Y\ \^^«#/ &k> Street, where a
- vrry Ucltl- *'is!l is
Jfl Tfcw-^TOr ffi'O^^--^ being exhibited.
' ^*>ff!&#V h) S*^. "" In order to give
V>^^r ^^*/ a gCn,iine air to
^ the soi-disuid Sea
Serpent, the bills
intimate, in letters of appropriate length and blackness, that " A sailor
who was present when the creature was captured will attend in the
room." The honest tar looked a little awkward; and there was
evidently a doubt in the minds of some of the spectators, whether the
sailor was part of the exhibition, and whether he was not a more
interesting object than the Sea Serpent himself, who looked as if he
had been rather overboiled, and as if the cook had broken his head in
taking him out of the fish-kettle.
In saying that the Sea Serpent appeared overboiled, we must not be
accused of roasting him, for he undoubtedly will present a rich repast fo
those who are always ready to devour anything in the shape of a
natural curiosity. "We should, ourselves, be somewhat puzzled to class
him; but we are disposed 1o rank him as a superb specimen of the
Nauticus Gallv.s-a-duo, or Sea Cock-a-too, if we may be allowed to
judge by the chicken-like crest on his forehead, which imparts to him
a rather Cocks-combical aspect.
THE DOOMED TRAYELLE
We have been favoured with the annexed fac-simile of an Annual
Ticket for the London and Richmond Railway.
LONDON AND RICHMOND.
TOP, c/e/rn ^7?ju
TO EXPIRE
on the 25th of march, 18o0.
There is something quite awful in the style and tone of this docu-
ment, which seems to intimate with fearful precision that the directors
will not be answerable for the safety of a traveller on their line, beyond
a day specified. This 25th of March must be as fatal as the popular
Ides of that well-known month, if the life of John Smith is not to be
considered secure for a longer term ; and we can only conceive that the
day mentioned may be intended for a general holiday among the
servants of the Line : so that, if John Smith, or any other individual,
chooses to travel by rail to Richmond on that day, it is understood that
he may calculate on being compelled to expire. Should any fatal
accident happen on t he 25th of March, we do not see how the Directors
of the Company could avoid an imputation of malice prepense in the face
of such a document as the one before us, inasmuch as it fixes the very
date at which John Smith is " to expire."
a distinction and a difference.
The public has been lately amused by a difference—somewhat unin-
telligible—between a noble Lord and an Italian Ministro delle fmanze.
We are happy in being able to explain the matter in question, which is
simply a difference between Manzoni and Man-zany. That's all.
an extravagant charge.
Every man likes being taken for a gentleman, and yet no man likes
being charged as one—in a Railway Hotel bill,
The remainder of the contents of my letter-box belonged to the same
class of voluntary contributions from the public hand, and I grieve to
say the collection included the bowl of a tooacco-pipe, to which I think
the police—or perhaps you, Sir—may put a stopper.
I remain, Sir, one who represents a countless host of old subscribers,
and who begs to subscribe himself, }3Uj}C3t>.
The Price of Buttons.
An insidious attempt to deprive every single man in the country of a
baker's dozen of the heads of our beloved Queen has been made by
some schemer, who lately put the subjoined advertisement in the
Times :—
TMPORTANT TO BACHELORS.—The advertiser will, on the receipt of
-L 13 Postage Stamps, forward a simple, easy, and certain Plan for obviating the ne-
cessity of Strings and Buttons on shirts and collars, saving gentlemen the annoyance
of constantly finding themselves minus the two former.
It is an established fact in economic philosophy that the only remedy
for a buttonless breast is a partner of the bosom—a wife.
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
A VERY ODD FISH.
have seen the Sea
Serpent meander-
ing along the co-
lumns of our illus-
trated contempo-
raries, and we
have been referred
to a subsequent
page for the con-
tinuation of his
very elaborate tail.
' But a novel at-
tempt to realise
this ideal monster
of the deep has
been n ade at
1 lie Cosmorama
<< PUNCH " TO " fffje Emus."
Dear fttntttf.
It has become the fashion for every one with a grievance to
write either to you or to me, and without any disrespect to the Peers,
it may be said that wc are looked upon as constituting jointly, or
severally, a court of appeal much more rapid in its working, if not more
satisfactory in its judgments, than the upper House, when it "sits in
error," as some of its members are apt to do when they are sitting any-
where. If anybody, including all sorts of nobodies, can take the
liberty of writing to both of us, we may surely exercise the freedom of
writing occasionally to one another. You may perhaps be rather busier
than I am, and so I shall not be offended if you do not always answer my
letters, for whether you do or not, there can be no charge got up
against you for not answering, since it is well known that there never
was a journal in the world which answered half so well.
I don't, however, mean to say you have deserved what you have
got, for it is not my practice to be complimentary. My object_ in
writing to you on this occasion is to complain of the result of my havint
moral a f0)|mvC(i ^jie Government recommendation to establish a slit in my door,
<^ZS "Lwfo with a letter-box attached to if, to prevent the Postman from having
1 he trouble of knocking and waiting for the opening of the door, when
he comes with the letters.
Unfortunately, though the system keeps the door shut to the Post-
man, it opens the door to a number of disagreeables, which it would
require the whole of one of your Supplements to enumerate. Being in
the habit of looking at the whole of my private correspondence at the
close of the day, I sought my new letter-box on the first evening of its
having been put up, and the contents formed a miscellany such as the
Postman would never have been allowed to leave had he knocked at the
door with it, in the ordinary manner.
The first article was an oyster-shell: but as I know all sorts of things
are sent by Post, I began to examine the shell, thinking it might be an
ingenious way of advertising a new edition of Shelley; or that I
should find inscribed upon it the price of oysters, with the address of
some enterprising monger of fish, who had taken this mode of attracting
customers.
Turning, however, to the next article in my letter-box, I found a
miserable outcast from the vegetable kingdom, in the form of a decayed
radish, who had evidently been banished from some halfpenny bundle of
his fellow-vegetables, as unfit to be their associate. He had lost the
freshness of early life, and I consoled myself by reading in his withered
leaves a lesson of morality, until my hand lighted on some leaden sub-
stance which had been dropped into my letter-box. Judge, Sir, of my
indignation when 1 drew out several dumps, and I could not help
exclaiming to myself—the only person I can get to listen to me
pat icntly when I am in an exclaiming humour,—"And has practical
joking fallen to this very dumpy level r "
Y\ \^^«#/ &k> Street, where a
- vrry Ucltl- *'is!l is
Jfl Tfcw-^TOr ffi'O^^--^ being exhibited.
' ^*>ff!&#V h) S*^. "" In order to give
V>^^r ^^*/ a gCn,iine air to
^ the soi-disuid Sea
Serpent, the bills
intimate, in letters of appropriate length and blackness, that " A sailor
who was present when the creature was captured will attend in the
room." The honest tar looked a little awkward; and there was
evidently a doubt in the minds of some of the spectators, whether the
sailor was part of the exhibition, and whether he was not a more
interesting object than the Sea Serpent himself, who looked as if he
had been rather overboiled, and as if the cook had broken his head in
taking him out of the fish-kettle.
In saying that the Sea Serpent appeared overboiled, we must not be
accused of roasting him, for he undoubtedly will present a rich repast fo
those who are always ready to devour anything in the shape of a
natural curiosity. "We should, ourselves, be somewhat puzzled to class
him; but we are disposed 1o rank him as a superb specimen of the
Nauticus Gallv.s-a-duo, or Sea Cock-a-too, if we may be allowed to
judge by the chicken-like crest on his forehead, which imparts to him
a rather Cocks-combical aspect.
THE DOOMED TRAYELLE
We have been favoured with the annexed fac-simile of an Annual
Ticket for the London and Richmond Railway.
LONDON AND RICHMOND.
TOP, c/e/rn ^7?ju
TO EXPIRE
on the 25th of march, 18o0.
There is something quite awful in the style and tone of this docu-
ment, which seems to intimate with fearful precision that the directors
will not be answerable for the safety of a traveller on their line, beyond
a day specified. This 25th of March must be as fatal as the popular
Ides of that well-known month, if the life of John Smith is not to be
considered secure for a longer term ; and we can only conceive that the
day mentioned may be intended for a general holiday among the
servants of the Line : so that, if John Smith, or any other individual,
chooses to travel by rail to Richmond on that day, it is understood that
he may calculate on being compelled to expire. Should any fatal
accident happen on t he 25th of March, we do not see how the Directors
of the Company could avoid an imputation of malice prepense in the face
of such a document as the one before us, inasmuch as it fixes the very
date at which John Smith is " to expire."
a distinction and a difference.
The public has been lately amused by a difference—somewhat unin-
telligible—between a noble Lord and an Italian Ministro delle fmanze.
We are happy in being able to explain the matter in question, which is
simply a difference between Manzoni and Man-zany. That's all.
an extravagant charge.
Every man likes being taken for a gentleman, and yet no man likes
being charged as one—in a Railway Hotel bill,
The remainder of the contents of my letter-box belonged to the same
class of voluntary contributions from the public hand, and I grieve to
say the collection included the bowl of a tooacco-pipe, to which I think
the police—or perhaps you, Sir—may put a stopper.
I remain, Sir, one who represents a countless host of old subscribers,
and who begs to subscribe himself, }3Uj}C3t>.
The Price of Buttons.
An insidious attempt to deprive every single man in the country of a
baker's dozen of the heads of our beloved Queen has been made by
some schemer, who lately put the subjoined advertisement in the
Times :—
TMPORTANT TO BACHELORS.—The advertiser will, on the receipt of
-L 13 Postage Stamps, forward a simple, easy, and certain Plan for obviating the ne-
cessity of Strings and Buttons on shirts and collars, saving gentlemen the annoyance
of constantly finding themselves minus the two former.
It is an established fact in economic philosophy that the only remedy
for a buttonless breast is a partner of the bosom—a wife.