Punch: Punch (17.1849)

PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

199

Russia. Still, let it be remembered that though Gunpowder once Blew

Up the Kremlin—in the end, Peace is stronger than any Peter— GRAND METROPOLITAN STEEPLE CHASE PROM

peter the great, and salt-petre included. PUTNEY TO ST. PAUL'S.

And now, all Gentle, Meek-Hearted, Well-Disposed, Fraternal Young mmmm ?his s?lenAdii sport comes off every ten minutes

Peliows, raLlv round i he Pepper-and-Salts. WIBSh oh/°^gh.?utoh5 ¥ fron'?utliey and Brompton to

a Plas will be presenied to the Corps, when raised; a Fiag, ■ |H St. Paul s Cathedral. Lie competitors are the

worked with £ s. d., in ihreads of significant Gold, Silver, and Copper, H M omnibus drivers and cads, who are distinguished

by the Wives of the Officers. Ensign Cobden will receive the Plag 1 Iff ^y tbe var]°"? appellations oi Putney Pets, lulhani

II ni$! Bowls, and Charing Cross Chickens, lhe Steeple

IN FRONT OF THE BANK OF ENGLAND. i HB Chase consists of a single heat, or, in other words,

To Bachelors, the Corps of the Pepper-and-Salts is peculiarly |1H one continued state of perspiration mr0 which the

eligible, it would be unworthy oi the Cause to attempt to stimulate 1 H }\?rseS are tthrf0Wn-fr?m the m0nient °f 8tartlBg to

their personal interests, but it would be also to omit a dutv, not II HI themoment ot arrival.

casually to remark that the ■ We witnessed one of these little affairs a few

IV IHlP mornings ago from a seat in one ot the competing

richest heiresses in the world | ■ 'busses, into which we were pitched from the step

• xi •£• , .i , • i . » j . j • i 1 13 on to which we were allowed just time to place one

are in 1 ranee -it perhaps, there are not richer m Austria-and richer i lil foot, when the cad, familiarly known as the Sloane

None but tSe^Ieek deserve the Rich ' 1 II Str^ Sla^ber> Sa™us a ^k fonva,rd> which sent

p>o^e but the Meek deser\e the iilCH 1I|H us flying on to the floor ot the vehicle, and a slam

Apply to Drab-Colour Serjeant Bright, who may be heard of at |iffl of the uoor, which sent the horses flung on their

the Oocton iree, Manchester. 111111 accustomed career of mazeppa-like' impetuosity.

When we had time to recover our senses and our

seat—an operation very difficult on account of the

A PAGE FROM THE MIDDLESEX SESSIONS' MINUTE " ill undulation of the omnibus, which rocked like a

e| |b steamer on the chops ol the channel—we perceived

BOOli. Oil that we were engaged in a Steeple Chase, with the

The Learned Judge (Mr. Serjeant Adams) in addressing the Grand 1 ifi Pu,'1'li^ G1ame Cock on Jhei bo*' -d the Che-yne;

Jury, said, that he wished the country should be informed, and there- f HRf walk Chicken actin£ as oacker in his conductors!

fore' ne mentioned it to tuem, not that they had anything to uo with it, I [WM capacity. We were side by side tor sone time

for he begged them to dismiss such a nation from their minds, that , |[ HI wbf? we a™&? cleverly by clearing an apple-stall

justice could be supplied at a much cheaper ra'e at ihe Middlesex < £ llli ot the whole ot its contents with our near wheel,

Sessions than at the Central Criminal Court. Oi course it didn't ) I Ml aud we eventually won by a neck, which was no

become him to dilate on the quality oi the article, but lie believed it ) |fi&9 0lher tbaB tbe ?.r°ken neck ot a passenger, vainly

would be found tiiat a good, useful, prosecution couia be had there for } > B|W attemptingto, alight during a temporary stoppage

twenty-three shillings, while the same article at the Old Bailey was ' Yn RHhI We think that d these great Metropolitan Steeple

charged four guineas-anu-a-half. besides this, prosecutions could be ^ 'gMmm&a* Chases are to be continued, it would be desirable

turned out m a much shorter time at Hick's Hall than m the Old Court I,a* some, sPeclhc ™ks sb,ould be la,d down for

or the New either. Still people went 10 the Um Bailey, aud he couldn't ,1]eir, guidance, and that the larce of professing

understand the reason. Besides cheapness and expedition, the public : ^ftj^^^tfBBr t0 • Passengers should be altogether abolished,

at the Middlesex Sessions would get his (Serjeant Adams's) leciures j I i \_ . ^MF as ,U)?resl,or eFess ^9 or out of f:h.e vetllcJe.s can
on things in general. He would now dismiss them to their duties,

assuring them that he couldn't conceive what earthly use they were ol

Edward Todgers, a boy of fourteen, was found guilty of stealing
hali'-a-crown, the property of his lather. The Learned Judge observed
that, here was a case where the parent was able to support his son, yet
he prosecuted him, and so got rid of the expense of keeping hiui.

Thomas Todgers, the parent, said the boy was always stealing. He
had given him a goou flogging, but it was oi no use.

The Learned Judge said, here was a case in which a boy had been
driven to crime, no doubt, by the brual treatment of his lather. Now
what was he to do with this boy ? He didn't know, and he would like
any body to tell him.

One of the Magistrates on the Bench said, that Parliament might do
something.

The Learned Judge didn't think that Parliament had sense enough
to do anything. They never did do anything he recommended. Had
the boy any mother ?

Thomas Todgers said his mother was dead.

The Learned Judge said, that no doubt here was a boy driven to
steal because he hadn't a mother. His father ought to be ashamed of
himself. Why hadn't the boy a mother ?

Thomas Todgers said, that after the death of the boy's mother, he
had married again.

The Learned Judge said, that no doubt here was a boy driven to

only be effected by dodges, hops, skips, and jumps
of a most perplexing and dangerous character.
We should suggest also that the apple stalls, and
*^W^\ other articles, cleared in the course of the chase,
should be arranged at proper intervals, so that the
proprietors might, at all events, know which are
to be sacrificed, and might take necessary precau-
tions for their own personal safety, which, from
the unexpected course of the competing vehicles,
is now very frequently jeopardised.

Perhaps, also, stuffed figures—or a few of the
worn-out murderers from Madame TussAUD'a
collection, who have lost their interest in the
late rapid succession of startling novelties, would be found quite as
effective as living objects, to be run over, knocked down, or otherwise
dispersed by the. Brompton and Putney Steeple Chasers. We don't
know whether the affair is worth the attention of the sporting world, but
as the matter, in its present state, is sport to some that may end in death
to many, we feel that our suggestions are, at all events, entitled to be
considered.

Selling a Parent,

Among other odd things announced for sale in the newspapers, we
see one of Cantelo's " Artificial Mothers." As the reverse of artificial

steal because he had a stepmother. No doubt she behaved brutally to ?ee °?e ™ ™° ?, *f™(w0,59' f ? tne revfer?e ot &™c™
the boy. Step-mothers always did. He had been reading "David'™ natural, we thought at first that this must be one of the unnatural
Copperfidd" that morning; and he found it laid down that David ! Parents one reads of in novels and sees on the stage m melodramas.
Copperfield's si ep-faiher Murdstone treated him brutally, and I ^e w,?re famdiar ™ T E?glls,h Prachceofsellmg wives, but this

thereiorc he was bound to conclude that this boy's step-mother treated
him brutally. Now what was he to do with this boy ?

No one being able to answer the question of the .Learned Judge, the
boy was sentenced in the usual way to three month's confinement in
the Westminster House of Correction, and the next case was pro-
ceeded with.

A New Voice in Parliament.

Mr. Barry has sent in a demand for something like £30,000 over
and above the large sum that was voted to mm for the Houses of Parli-
ment. We do not know what cho this note, which is certainly pitched
a little high, will produce in the New House, but if it is responded to,
the House of Commons will unquestionably be the finest budding of its
kind for any singer that has a tremendous Barry-tone.

of selling mothers seemed a step beyond Smithfield. But the name of
Cantelo recalled us to Leicester Square, where, we are informed,
" chickens daily burst the shell in the presence of visitors," and we
jumped to the conclusion, that an artificial mother is a hot-water tray,
which, if properly regulated, produces chickens, but if over-heated,
omelettes. As we cannot suppose the chicken feels much affection for
such a parent, we are reconciled to this new traffic in "artificial
mothers," which otherwise would have given us a bad impression of the
filial piety ol the feathered race.

sorrow tor sale.

We saw 1he other day advertised in a newspaper "A Genuine
Concern to be Disposed of." We should advise speculators to look
suspiciously at such an advertisement, for, depend upon it the man
who has a " genuine concern " must have lost money. '