DOI issue:
January to June, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16607#0079
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
71
ME. EERRAND WITHOUT " A PEAL."
Country paper, the
Yorkshire Gazette, has
a fling at a "Eree
Trade Parson" who
would not consent
that the bells of
Pocklington Church
should ring a peal in
honour of the arrival
of 1Mb. Eerrand,
about to enact his
favourite political
part of Sheepface;
that part, as most
of our readers may
know, consisting
chiefly in the vari-
ous intonation of—
" Baa-a," the poor
fellow being sheep-
stricken, or other-
wise having his brains
set wool-gathering.
Mr. Eerrand has repeated this character to very large audiences ;
and, though we fear he will not make a very great sensation wiih
his "Baa-a" in the Theatre Royal, St. Stephen's, it must never-
theless be conceded to his genius, that few men have made more
of the sheep's cry, the great cry witli much wool {in futuro), than
has Mr. Eerrand in some of his agricultural engagements. But
touching the political peal of bells in honour of the advent of the actor,
our charity would fain hold the incumbent of Pocklington guiltless of
any wilful disrespect to Mr. Eerrand. The reverend gentleman may
haply believe that it is not the function of Church bells to peal out at
once a welcome and an advertisement on the arrival of any exhibitor,
histrionic or political: and further, Pocklington's incumbent duly
considering the peculiar powers of Mr. Eerrand, might think even
the least amount of bell-metal unnecessarily thrown away upon a man,
who has ever such a stock of sounding brass at his own command.
CHEAP EXCURSIONS EROM OXEORD TO ROME.
As soon as the Exhibition begins to throw open its doors, the season
for Cheap Excursions will be in full train. In addition to the many
trips which will be covering Europe with lines, as close as a cobweb,
we understand it is the intention of Mr. St. Barnabas Bennett and
others to start a series of Cheap Excursions from Oxford to Rome.
One great peculiarity of these Excursions will be, that they will not
come back again. Once at Rome, the excursionists will be compelled
to remain there, for no return tickets will be issued.
Communications will be entered inl o with all the Puseyite chapels in
the kingdom, and great facilities offered to all Puseyite clergymen to
carry them to Rome as quickly as possible.
Persons travelling by these Cheap Excursions, will be provided with
tickets to the Vatican, and no extra charge demanded.
Arrangements are pending, by which it is hoped the Committee will
have it in their power to throw in as a bonus to each train, a certain
number of introductions to the Pope, who has kindly condescended to
lend his toe on these occasions, for the use of such excursionists as
may feel a holy fervour to kiss it.
All the numerous places of public resort in Rome, its gorgeous
churches, and the valuable relics and curiosities they contain, will be
thrown open to the visitors free of any additional charge.
The chains of St. Peter will be kept ready to be hung round the
neck of any British nobleman who chooses to lower himself for the
occasion.
"Very little luggage allowed, and gentlemen bringing "thirty-nine
articles " with them decidedly objected to.
Persons, who cannot afford the expense, accommodated with a
free pass.
Eor further particulars apply to the Bishop oe London ; and tickets
THE POPE'S YALENTINE TO THE CARDINAL.
To Nicholas, in sore affliction,
Pius sends Peace and Benediction.
The daisy's pied, the violet's blue,
The rose is red, and so are you.
I dyed you with that tint of ochre ;
I made you like a red-hot poker;
And now, what I shall have to do,
Will be to drop you like one, too.
Indeed, indeed, my Man of R,ed,
My Holiness you've much misled:
You told me that the Pear was ripe,
And only waited for my gripe :
You of the British public spoke,
As quite prepared to don my yoke.
I acted upon what you said ;
And here's a pretty mess I've made !—
Utter'd a peal of emply thunder,
And launch'd a Bull which proves a blunder
Submit to me! They would be caught
As soon confessing Juggernaut,
Serapis, Brahma, Woden, Ammon :
They clearly vote my claims mere gammon,
My high pretensions joke and jest on,
Or, worse, examine what they rest on.
Who, sense and reason have deserted
Eor me—that is, have been converted ?
We've had no luck among the masses ;
Some few of the "superior classes "
Have joined us—manifestly raving,
Or else for mere excitement craving;
Parsons the rest, and of a College
Earned for the dearth of useful knowledge.
Cambridge, that Euclid's lore pursues,
Sends scarce a soul ro kiss my shoes :
Erom Oxford come our chief recruits—
Monastic education's fruits,
That in choice Latin fudge can speak,
Writ e nonsense cleverly in Greek,
Coucli in good Hebrew silly thought,
But are in Science quite untaught.
We get no men in high positions, _
As Chemists, Surgeons, or Physicians,
Astronomers, Geologists,
Political Economists ;
No Statesman sage to us succumbs;
To us no famous Jurist comes;
Your own's the only Eminence
To which in England we've pretence.
Expecting an immense secession,
I make a premature aggression ;
Into a flame all England flashes,
Rakes up the Marian martyrs' ashes;
Cries out on Hildebrand's ambition,
And twits us with the Inquisition ;
Recounts our massacres, and gathers
The pious frauds of holy fathers—
Things that had out of memory grown,
Had I but let John Bull alone :
But now, these awkward points are mooted.
Our tenets questioned and confuted,
And many, on their quiet way
To Rome, warned off, I'm bold to say.
Our progress will at present cease;
At least, my subjects won't increase;
Nay, this same storm, in my opiuion,
Will blow down some of my dominion.
You instigated me to brew it,
may be procured at all the shops, where the Tracts are sold, in Oxford.! £nd f. w,a? V ^ °r^i °»TpH
*** A Grand Illumination oe St. Peter's at Easter.
Fine Practical Satire.
We expect every week to have the pleasure of reading the following
paragraph :—"On Monday morning an infuriated bull escaped from its
drover, and, tearing into Cheapside, burst into the little building which
has been recently opened to exhibit the beauties of Smithfield Market,
and in Jess than two minutes tossed the highly-extolled Model into
a thousand pieces."
If, as is likely, you 're unseated,
Infallibility's defeated.
Small thanks to you, from me and mine,
Although you are my Valentine.
a poke at the paper duty,
It is the general opinion that the Chancellor op the Exchequer
should do something with respect to Paper. We decidedly think he
ought to turn over a new leaf.
71
ME. EERRAND WITHOUT " A PEAL."
Country paper, the
Yorkshire Gazette, has
a fling at a "Eree
Trade Parson" who
would not consent
that the bells of
Pocklington Church
should ring a peal in
honour of the arrival
of 1Mb. Eerrand,
about to enact his
favourite political
part of Sheepface;
that part, as most
of our readers may
know, consisting
chiefly in the vari-
ous intonation of—
" Baa-a," the poor
fellow being sheep-
stricken, or other-
wise having his brains
set wool-gathering.
Mr. Eerrand has repeated this character to very large audiences ;
and, though we fear he will not make a very great sensation wiih
his "Baa-a" in the Theatre Royal, St. Stephen's, it must never-
theless be conceded to his genius, that few men have made more
of the sheep's cry, the great cry witli much wool {in futuro), than
has Mr. Eerrand in some of his agricultural engagements. But
touching the political peal of bells in honour of the advent of the actor,
our charity would fain hold the incumbent of Pocklington guiltless of
any wilful disrespect to Mr. Eerrand. The reverend gentleman may
haply believe that it is not the function of Church bells to peal out at
once a welcome and an advertisement on the arrival of any exhibitor,
histrionic or political: and further, Pocklington's incumbent duly
considering the peculiar powers of Mr. Eerrand, might think even
the least amount of bell-metal unnecessarily thrown away upon a man,
who has ever such a stock of sounding brass at his own command.
CHEAP EXCURSIONS EROM OXEORD TO ROME.
As soon as the Exhibition begins to throw open its doors, the season
for Cheap Excursions will be in full train. In addition to the many
trips which will be covering Europe with lines, as close as a cobweb,
we understand it is the intention of Mr. St. Barnabas Bennett and
others to start a series of Cheap Excursions from Oxford to Rome.
One great peculiarity of these Excursions will be, that they will not
come back again. Once at Rome, the excursionists will be compelled
to remain there, for no return tickets will be issued.
Communications will be entered inl o with all the Puseyite chapels in
the kingdom, and great facilities offered to all Puseyite clergymen to
carry them to Rome as quickly as possible.
Persons travelling by these Cheap Excursions, will be provided with
tickets to the Vatican, and no extra charge demanded.
Arrangements are pending, by which it is hoped the Committee will
have it in their power to throw in as a bonus to each train, a certain
number of introductions to the Pope, who has kindly condescended to
lend his toe on these occasions, for the use of such excursionists as
may feel a holy fervour to kiss it.
All the numerous places of public resort in Rome, its gorgeous
churches, and the valuable relics and curiosities they contain, will be
thrown open to the visitors free of any additional charge.
The chains of St. Peter will be kept ready to be hung round the
neck of any British nobleman who chooses to lower himself for the
occasion.
"Very little luggage allowed, and gentlemen bringing "thirty-nine
articles " with them decidedly objected to.
Persons, who cannot afford the expense, accommodated with a
free pass.
Eor further particulars apply to the Bishop oe London ; and tickets
THE POPE'S YALENTINE TO THE CARDINAL.
To Nicholas, in sore affliction,
Pius sends Peace and Benediction.
The daisy's pied, the violet's blue,
The rose is red, and so are you.
I dyed you with that tint of ochre ;
I made you like a red-hot poker;
And now, what I shall have to do,
Will be to drop you like one, too.
Indeed, indeed, my Man of R,ed,
My Holiness you've much misled:
You told me that the Pear was ripe,
And only waited for my gripe :
You of the British public spoke,
As quite prepared to don my yoke.
I acted upon what you said ;
And here's a pretty mess I've made !—
Utter'd a peal of emply thunder,
And launch'd a Bull which proves a blunder
Submit to me! They would be caught
As soon confessing Juggernaut,
Serapis, Brahma, Woden, Ammon :
They clearly vote my claims mere gammon,
My high pretensions joke and jest on,
Or, worse, examine what they rest on.
Who, sense and reason have deserted
Eor me—that is, have been converted ?
We've had no luck among the masses ;
Some few of the "superior classes "
Have joined us—manifestly raving,
Or else for mere excitement craving;
Parsons the rest, and of a College
Earned for the dearth of useful knowledge.
Cambridge, that Euclid's lore pursues,
Sends scarce a soul ro kiss my shoes :
Erom Oxford come our chief recruits—
Monastic education's fruits,
That in choice Latin fudge can speak,
Writ e nonsense cleverly in Greek,
Coucli in good Hebrew silly thought,
But are in Science quite untaught.
We get no men in high positions, _
As Chemists, Surgeons, or Physicians,
Astronomers, Geologists,
Political Economists ;
No Statesman sage to us succumbs;
To us no famous Jurist comes;
Your own's the only Eminence
To which in England we've pretence.
Expecting an immense secession,
I make a premature aggression ;
Into a flame all England flashes,
Rakes up the Marian martyrs' ashes;
Cries out on Hildebrand's ambition,
And twits us with the Inquisition ;
Recounts our massacres, and gathers
The pious frauds of holy fathers—
Things that had out of memory grown,
Had I but let John Bull alone :
But now, these awkward points are mooted.
Our tenets questioned and confuted,
And many, on their quiet way
To Rome, warned off, I'm bold to say.
Our progress will at present cease;
At least, my subjects won't increase;
Nay, this same storm, in my opiuion,
Will blow down some of my dominion.
You instigated me to brew it,
may be procured at all the shops, where the Tracts are sold, in Oxford.! £nd f. w,a? V ^ °r^i °»TpH
*** A Grand Illumination oe St. Peter's at Easter.
Fine Practical Satire.
We expect every week to have the pleasure of reading the following
paragraph :—"On Monday morning an infuriated bull escaped from its
drover, and, tearing into Cheapside, burst into the little building which
has been recently opened to exhibit the beauties of Smithfield Market,
and in Jess than two minutes tossed the highly-extolled Model into
a thousand pieces."
If, as is likely, you 're unseated,
Infallibility's defeated.
Small thanks to you, from me and mine,
Although you are my Valentine.
a poke at the paper duty,
It is the general opinion that the Chancellor op the Exchequer
should do something with respect to Paper. We decidedly think he
ought to turn over a new leaf.