DOI issue:
January to June, 1852
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16609#0123
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
115
♦ HF CPROTECTIONIST) SEA-SERPENT.
facility of spouting—very like a whale. It had
several paws, which it had a tendency to lay on
everything it came near - and the head, upon
close examination, proved extremely offensive,
having got into very bad odour in a very short
space of time.
One of our Foreign Correspondents, who, being never at home, is almost always out, has
sent us the following:—
Quite at Sect, March &h.
Having been engaged in a search for another Hippopotamus, or Sea-Horse, and being on
the look-out, therefore, for mares' nests? I was disturbed in the rather Pacific Ocean of
politics, by a cry of "Whitewater!" I immediately perceived a few empty bubbles on the
surface; and knowing there was nothing in them, I expected them to subside, when a native,
named Jack Russell, who had been for some time at the helm, cried out, " Look ! look !
Me see too much ! too much ! Me no see all dat feller, me 'fraid !"
Upon this he suddenly abandoned his post, though I told him it was a mere nothing he was
frightened at; but he still persisted, exclaiming, "Dat feller!—too big! me 'fraid!" and he
would not be persuaded to stand by " any longer. At length I discovered the object of his
alarm, which consisted of a heavy, but apparently feeble, body, with a head of astounding
thickness, and a tail that made as much stir and commotion as possible, by wagging itself
about very furiously, as if to urge on the head, which showed signs of being reluctant to
proceed.
Watching it narrowly, I saw that the body and tail were so cumbersome, that they
threatened to drag down the head, which could only by the greatest effort—and by rising up
superior to the rest of the body—keep itself above water.
It soon became obvious that the Protectionist Sea-Serpent had made its appearance; and
Richard Cobden, the mate of the Free-trader—which happened to come alongside—began
urging his companions, with all his eloquence, to have " a try at the fellow," and dispose of
the Serpent off-hand. Let me say, to their credit, that every one got ready for the enter-
prise, except a few, who were for giving the creature time to show whether he intended
making an attack.
Seeing the preparations that were being made, the Serpent tried to get away by a side
wind, and stood off, expecting, no doubt, to be lost sight of for a time, with a view of playing Schooling for Squires,
us a nasty trick when we might be off our guard. It was, nevertheless, determined among us Pkotectionist country gentlemen may, in an
that we shoud go after the creature, which made some uncertain motions with its head, as if it abridgment of some History of England, have
would make us believe that it intended turning round. Some were inclined to hesitate, but read when they were at school bow Alfred
Richard Cobden, having launched the League Boat, sprung aboard, and hurled at once one of divided his loaf wifch the beggar. History is
his powerful harpoons which stuck like a tremendous thorn in the creature's side lhe effect i '< phUosophy teaching by example; " but its les-
was instantaneous, for the Serpent seemed to go down very rapidly ; and a great effort was then ! S{£ s are generally warnings, showing rather what
necessary to keep the creature down by getting together as much weight as possible; and | ought tohbe avoidJed) than what should be done,
several thousands of pounds were collected for the purpose in a very short space of time. In tbis int of view our squires seem to regard
oeveral pointed weapons were now used against the animal s body; but its obtuseness was
such as to render it difficult to make any impression whatever, though the head seemed to
have some sensibility, and would have got away, but for the furious lashings it experienced
from its own tail. At length all motion appeared to cease. The head began to knock gradually
under; aad a shout of " Protection's dead," announced the fact, that further annoyance
from the monster was impossible.
As the creature lay lifeless on the surface of the sea of politics, I was enabled to take the
following description of a curiosity, which may soon be considered as extinct. Its head was
remarkable for much heavy irregular jaw, and its tail, which was much disjointed, was perfectly
obtuse, without coming to any point at all. The body was party-coloured, and one side did not
at all agree with the other, while there were indications of much blubber having been given
forth. Its head was well adapted for sending forth columns of fluent mat'er, and it had the
LAY FOR CABINET LOAFERS.
Hark ! the Leaguers ring the tocsin,
For competing grain and oxen;
'Gainst Protectionist invaders
Cobden cries, " To Arms, Free Traders !:
Peaceful Friends, who would not wish a
Person drawn for the militia,
To repel a French invasion-
Take the field on this occasion.
Bright, for unprotected corn,
Blows the warlike bugle-horn;
Waves aloft the flag of battle
For untaxed exotic cattle.
And what cravens would not muster
To preserve their penny "buster,"
(Twop'nny once) and clench their fistes
For cheap beef and moderate twistes ?
Champions of the scale called sliding,
You will get a thorough hiding,
If you at the next election
Hoist the standard of Protection.
Boots and Breeches—don't you do it,
Or as sure as Fate you '11 rue it!
Young and Booker, rash bullwetheis,
Follow not, ye Tops and Leathers.
Coronets, great chiefs of Tories,
Would you save your Order's glories,
In our bread make no incisions;
Don't go cribbing our provisions.
Talk not, Derby, like an oaf,
Of restoring the dear loaf;
There's no scheme that you could hit on
So distasteful to a Briton.
Give it up—or you '11 be beaten—
They who Free-Trade bread have eaten
Will be forced by no devices
Back unto starvation prices.
Indignation growing daily,
Will o'erthrow you, Ben Disraeli,
Bowl you all down just like skittles,
If you touch the peoples' victuals.
For your promises—be quiet;
They are but official diet;
And your pledges you must swallow,
Or the League will lick you hollow.
the conduct of Alfked: for, in wanting to
compel the poor man to share his loaf with
them, their own behaviour is precisely the
reverse. _
the cabinet economist.
If you want your bread to rise, you must fer-
ment the country; but it is doubtful if the
attempt will succeed even then ; and at any rata
the bread will turn out heavy—and, ultimate
turn out you.
115
♦ HF CPROTECTIONIST) SEA-SERPENT.
facility of spouting—very like a whale. It had
several paws, which it had a tendency to lay on
everything it came near - and the head, upon
close examination, proved extremely offensive,
having got into very bad odour in a very short
space of time.
One of our Foreign Correspondents, who, being never at home, is almost always out, has
sent us the following:—
Quite at Sect, March &h.
Having been engaged in a search for another Hippopotamus, or Sea-Horse, and being on
the look-out, therefore, for mares' nests? I was disturbed in the rather Pacific Ocean of
politics, by a cry of "Whitewater!" I immediately perceived a few empty bubbles on the
surface; and knowing there was nothing in them, I expected them to subside, when a native,
named Jack Russell, who had been for some time at the helm, cried out, " Look ! look !
Me see too much ! too much ! Me no see all dat feller, me 'fraid !"
Upon this he suddenly abandoned his post, though I told him it was a mere nothing he was
frightened at; but he still persisted, exclaiming, "Dat feller!—too big! me 'fraid!" and he
would not be persuaded to stand by " any longer. At length I discovered the object of his
alarm, which consisted of a heavy, but apparently feeble, body, with a head of astounding
thickness, and a tail that made as much stir and commotion as possible, by wagging itself
about very furiously, as if to urge on the head, which showed signs of being reluctant to
proceed.
Watching it narrowly, I saw that the body and tail were so cumbersome, that they
threatened to drag down the head, which could only by the greatest effort—and by rising up
superior to the rest of the body—keep itself above water.
It soon became obvious that the Protectionist Sea-Serpent had made its appearance; and
Richard Cobden, the mate of the Free-trader—which happened to come alongside—began
urging his companions, with all his eloquence, to have " a try at the fellow," and dispose of
the Serpent off-hand. Let me say, to their credit, that every one got ready for the enter-
prise, except a few, who were for giving the creature time to show whether he intended
making an attack.
Seeing the preparations that were being made, the Serpent tried to get away by a side
wind, and stood off, expecting, no doubt, to be lost sight of for a time, with a view of playing Schooling for Squires,
us a nasty trick when we might be off our guard. It was, nevertheless, determined among us Pkotectionist country gentlemen may, in an
that we shoud go after the creature, which made some uncertain motions with its head, as if it abridgment of some History of England, have
would make us believe that it intended turning round. Some were inclined to hesitate, but read when they were at school bow Alfred
Richard Cobden, having launched the League Boat, sprung aboard, and hurled at once one of divided his loaf wifch the beggar. History is
his powerful harpoons which stuck like a tremendous thorn in the creature's side lhe effect i '< phUosophy teaching by example; " but its les-
was instantaneous, for the Serpent seemed to go down very rapidly ; and a great effort was then ! S{£ s are generally warnings, showing rather what
necessary to keep the creature down by getting together as much weight as possible; and | ought tohbe avoidJed) than what should be done,
several thousands of pounds were collected for the purpose in a very short space of time. In tbis int of view our squires seem to regard
oeveral pointed weapons were now used against the animal s body; but its obtuseness was
such as to render it difficult to make any impression whatever, though the head seemed to
have some sensibility, and would have got away, but for the furious lashings it experienced
from its own tail. At length all motion appeared to cease. The head began to knock gradually
under; aad a shout of " Protection's dead," announced the fact, that further annoyance
from the monster was impossible.
As the creature lay lifeless on the surface of the sea of politics, I was enabled to take the
following description of a curiosity, which may soon be considered as extinct. Its head was
remarkable for much heavy irregular jaw, and its tail, which was much disjointed, was perfectly
obtuse, without coming to any point at all. The body was party-coloured, and one side did not
at all agree with the other, while there were indications of much blubber having been given
forth. Its head was well adapted for sending forth columns of fluent mat'er, and it had the
LAY FOR CABINET LOAFERS.
Hark ! the Leaguers ring the tocsin,
For competing grain and oxen;
'Gainst Protectionist invaders
Cobden cries, " To Arms, Free Traders !:
Peaceful Friends, who would not wish a
Person drawn for the militia,
To repel a French invasion-
Take the field on this occasion.
Bright, for unprotected corn,
Blows the warlike bugle-horn;
Waves aloft the flag of battle
For untaxed exotic cattle.
And what cravens would not muster
To preserve their penny "buster,"
(Twop'nny once) and clench their fistes
For cheap beef and moderate twistes ?
Champions of the scale called sliding,
You will get a thorough hiding,
If you at the next election
Hoist the standard of Protection.
Boots and Breeches—don't you do it,
Or as sure as Fate you '11 rue it!
Young and Booker, rash bullwetheis,
Follow not, ye Tops and Leathers.
Coronets, great chiefs of Tories,
Would you save your Order's glories,
In our bread make no incisions;
Don't go cribbing our provisions.
Talk not, Derby, like an oaf,
Of restoring the dear loaf;
There's no scheme that you could hit on
So distasteful to a Briton.
Give it up—or you '11 be beaten—
They who Free-Trade bread have eaten
Will be forced by no devices
Back unto starvation prices.
Indignation growing daily,
Will o'erthrow you, Ben Disraeli,
Bowl you all down just like skittles,
If you touch the peoples' victuals.
For your promises—be quiet;
They are but official diet;
And your pledges you must swallow,
Or the League will lick you hollow.
the conduct of Alfked: for, in wanting to
compel the poor man to share his loaf with
them, their own behaviour is precisely the
reverse. _
the cabinet economist.
If you want your bread to rise, you must fer-
ment the country; but it is doubtful if the
attempt will succeed even then ; and at any rata
the bread will turn out heavy—and, ultimate
turn out you.