DOI issue:
July to December, 1852
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16610#0083
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
75
HANSOM CABBY.
" What's this, Sir ? It's only Two Shillings. Why, my yjre's
One and Eightpence ! "
PUNCH'S POLICE COURT.
Last week Mr. Punches Police Court was crowded to excess. On
the Bench we observed several of the most distinguished Booksellers
and Publishers in London, The body of the Court was filled, prin-
cipally, by the most respectable newsvendors and publication-sellers
of the metropolis.
The subject of this great excitement was one Antonio Panizzi.
Mr. Punch. Whar, are you, sir?
Prisoner. I am the librarian of the British Museum.
Mr. Punch. Well, sir, you are charged with neglecting to complete a
certain Catalogue of that Museum, and so doing grievous injury to the
interests of literature, besides bringing than national institution into
sontempt in the estimation of all foreigners. Now, sir, answer me.
How many years have you been engaged on that Catalogue ?
Prisoner (who spoke English remarkably well for a foreigner). I'm sure
I do not know; it may be ten, or fifteen, or twenty years—but really
j I cannot tell.
Mr. Punch. In fact, you have been engaged upon it so long that you
have lost all calculation as to the exact time '</ Is it not so ?
Prisoner {with great coolness). Precisely.
Mr. Punch. Now, sir, can you tell me in how many years this same
Catalogue will be completed ?
Prisoner. It is totally out of my power. It may be forty—it may be
sixty—it may be a hundred years.
Mr. Punch Do you expect this Catalogue, of which you have the
compiling, will ever be completed in your lifetime ?
Prisoner {laughing). Oh, no ; nor in my children's life-time either.
Mr. Punch. How far have you advanced in it ?
Prisoner. Really, you take me quite unawares. I think it is either
the letter D or E, or F, G, or H. In fact, I can say with certainty it
is one of them, but cannot say positively which.
Mr. Punch. Now, sir, what have you to say in your defence ? You
have taken, on your own confession, "ten, or fifteen, or twenty years "
upon merely the commencement of a Catalogue, which any respectable
auctioneer would have finished in as many weeks, if not days. What
have you to advance in justification of such shameful neglecr. ?
Prisoner {boldly). I am engaged all the time upon other business !
Mr. Punch. What business could have been half so important as
the one you had already in hand ?
Prisoner. Why! I was engaged in summoning booksellers and
newsvendors in falling to supply the British Museum with the books
and numbers of the periodicals they publish.
Mr. Punch. But that cannot take up much of your time ?
Prisoner. Oh, yes! it does—it takes up the greatest part of my
time. Why ! i was engaged all last week in summoning Mb. Catnach,
because he had not sent me in a copy of his recent Ballads; and it took
me another week to pull up Mk. Pitts, for not having left, at our
office, his last edition of Mother Shipton's Prophecies. I couldn't find
him at his "Toy and Marble Warehouse," in the Seven Dials.
Mr. Punch. So then, the Catalogue of the British Museum has to wait
for Mr. Catnach's Ballads, and Mother Shipton's Prophecies?
Prisoner. Exactly ! It's perfectly clear 1 cannot be attending to two
things at once. I cannot be summoning these fellows and having them
fined at the Police Office, and attending to the Catalogue at the same
time.
Mr. Punch. It's perfectly clear you cannot, and so I have come to
this resolution. As you say very properly, "you cannot attend to two
things at once ; " I fairly give you notice that the next time you are
brought up before me for neglecting your Catalogue, that I shall take
it away from you, and allow you to pursue the other part of your
business, for which you seem much better qualified; and I will take good
care that your successor is not an Italian.
This decision seemed to give general satisfaction to every one but the
prisoner, who, muttering, left the Court for Holywell Street, evidently
on a hunting expedition for some unhappy publisher. We may cherish
the national hope, therefore, of the Museum Catalogue bekg very
shortly taken out of Mb. Panizzi's hands.
TRIMMING FOR THE TIARA.
We believe we may state that an important change is about to be
made in the fas'hion of the papal tiara. Most of our readers are aware
that an enlightened French priest, the ABBfe Gaume, a short time
since, published a work of genius entitled the Ver Rongeur, wherein he
denounced classical literature, so called, as anti-catholic. The appear-
ance of this production occasioned a controversy among the French
cltrgy, which the Pope is said, on good authority, to have decided in
favour of the intelligent Abbe. " The cause is finished; Rome has
spoken"—in a voice that sounds very much like a bray. Accordingly,
nobody will be surprised to see his Holiness come out with his triple
hat considerably elongated, having a peaked crown terminated by a
tassel, and a pair of long ears at the sides.
As it seems probable that the popish priesthood will prefer the latinify
of the schoolmen to that of Cicero and Vikgil, it will perhaps be
necessary that their denomination, to which the name of Latin Church
has been hitherto applied, should henceforth be styled the Dog Latin
Church.
Lodging-house Logic.
We perceive by a police report that the duty of enforcing the law
against the filthy lodging-houses in St. Giles's, has been entrusted to
Inspector Reason. We do not wonder at his having found his task
almc st hopeless, for the inmates were suie to refuse to listen to Reason,
when his voice opposed their own temporary interests. We are
delighted to see the au horities awake to the subject of these horrible
abodes, for the beds they contain are not matters to sleep upon.
something like a ball!
A past young lady, who does not go to Almacks, alluding to
the new buildings at the Elecric Telegraph Office in the Strand, says
" she envies that Company, for they have a large Ball all the year
round, and they keep it up like One o'clock ! "
The Spirit of the Till.
Colonel Mundy tells us, in his book of the Antipodes, that " The
Spirit of the Till is rapidly infusing itself into the native dealings and
character" at Australia. This is, in one sense, exactly what is wanted
in a country where hands are scarce. Tnis spirit will be driving the
natives to the Diggings, for if there is one field, which will yield more
to the Till than another, it must be a Gold Field.
The Distressed Bailiff's Home.
Owing to the great destitution amongst sheriffs' officers which has
been occasioned by rrcent law reforms, and will be increased by the
lamented decease of John Doe and Richard Roe, it is in contempla-
tion to establish an asylum for the benefit of that popular class of
persons, under the name of the Levi-athan.
an enquiry.
We wonder if Mr. Disraeli will bequeath to his successors all
he sees " looming in the future? " and whether he will bequeath it as
an " air-loom ? "
75
HANSOM CABBY.
" What's this, Sir ? It's only Two Shillings. Why, my yjre's
One and Eightpence ! "
PUNCH'S POLICE COURT.
Last week Mr. Punches Police Court was crowded to excess. On
the Bench we observed several of the most distinguished Booksellers
and Publishers in London, The body of the Court was filled, prin-
cipally, by the most respectable newsvendors and publication-sellers
of the metropolis.
The subject of this great excitement was one Antonio Panizzi.
Mr. Punch. Whar, are you, sir?
Prisoner. I am the librarian of the British Museum.
Mr. Punch. Well, sir, you are charged with neglecting to complete a
certain Catalogue of that Museum, and so doing grievous injury to the
interests of literature, besides bringing than national institution into
sontempt in the estimation of all foreigners. Now, sir, answer me.
How many years have you been engaged on that Catalogue ?
Prisoner (who spoke English remarkably well for a foreigner). I'm sure
I do not know; it may be ten, or fifteen, or twenty years—but really
j I cannot tell.
Mr. Punch. In fact, you have been engaged upon it so long that you
have lost all calculation as to the exact time '</ Is it not so ?
Prisoner {with great coolness). Precisely.
Mr. Punch. Now, sir, can you tell me in how many years this same
Catalogue will be completed ?
Prisoner. It is totally out of my power. It may be forty—it may be
sixty—it may be a hundred years.
Mr. Punch Do you expect this Catalogue, of which you have the
compiling, will ever be completed in your lifetime ?
Prisoner {laughing). Oh, no ; nor in my children's life-time either.
Mr. Punch. How far have you advanced in it ?
Prisoner. Really, you take me quite unawares. I think it is either
the letter D or E, or F, G, or H. In fact, I can say with certainty it
is one of them, but cannot say positively which.
Mr. Punch. Now, sir, what have you to say in your defence ? You
have taken, on your own confession, "ten, or fifteen, or twenty years "
upon merely the commencement of a Catalogue, which any respectable
auctioneer would have finished in as many weeks, if not days. What
have you to advance in justification of such shameful neglecr. ?
Prisoner {boldly). I am engaged all the time upon other business !
Mr. Punch. What business could have been half so important as
the one you had already in hand ?
Prisoner. Why! I was engaged in summoning booksellers and
newsvendors in falling to supply the British Museum with the books
and numbers of the periodicals they publish.
Mr. Punch. But that cannot take up much of your time ?
Prisoner. Oh, yes! it does—it takes up the greatest part of my
time. Why ! i was engaged all last week in summoning Mb. Catnach,
because he had not sent me in a copy of his recent Ballads; and it took
me another week to pull up Mk. Pitts, for not having left, at our
office, his last edition of Mother Shipton's Prophecies. I couldn't find
him at his "Toy and Marble Warehouse," in the Seven Dials.
Mr. Punch. So then, the Catalogue of the British Museum has to wait
for Mr. Catnach's Ballads, and Mother Shipton's Prophecies?
Prisoner. Exactly ! It's perfectly clear 1 cannot be attending to two
things at once. I cannot be summoning these fellows and having them
fined at the Police Office, and attending to the Catalogue at the same
time.
Mr. Punch. It's perfectly clear you cannot, and so I have come to
this resolution. As you say very properly, "you cannot attend to two
things at once ; " I fairly give you notice that the next time you are
brought up before me for neglecting your Catalogue, that I shall take
it away from you, and allow you to pursue the other part of your
business, for which you seem much better qualified; and I will take good
care that your successor is not an Italian.
This decision seemed to give general satisfaction to every one but the
prisoner, who, muttering, left the Court for Holywell Street, evidently
on a hunting expedition for some unhappy publisher. We may cherish
the national hope, therefore, of the Museum Catalogue bekg very
shortly taken out of Mb. Panizzi's hands.
TRIMMING FOR THE TIARA.
We believe we may state that an important change is about to be
made in the fas'hion of the papal tiara. Most of our readers are aware
that an enlightened French priest, the ABBfe Gaume, a short time
since, published a work of genius entitled the Ver Rongeur, wherein he
denounced classical literature, so called, as anti-catholic. The appear-
ance of this production occasioned a controversy among the French
cltrgy, which the Pope is said, on good authority, to have decided in
favour of the intelligent Abbe. " The cause is finished; Rome has
spoken"—in a voice that sounds very much like a bray. Accordingly,
nobody will be surprised to see his Holiness come out with his triple
hat considerably elongated, having a peaked crown terminated by a
tassel, and a pair of long ears at the sides.
As it seems probable that the popish priesthood will prefer the latinify
of the schoolmen to that of Cicero and Vikgil, it will perhaps be
necessary that their denomination, to which the name of Latin Church
has been hitherto applied, should henceforth be styled the Dog Latin
Church.
Lodging-house Logic.
We perceive by a police report that the duty of enforcing the law
against the filthy lodging-houses in St. Giles's, has been entrusted to
Inspector Reason. We do not wonder at his having found his task
almc st hopeless, for the inmates were suie to refuse to listen to Reason,
when his voice opposed their own temporary interests. We are
delighted to see the au horities awake to the subject of these horrible
abodes, for the beds they contain are not matters to sleep upon.
something like a ball!
A past young lady, who does not go to Almacks, alluding to
the new buildings at the Elecric Telegraph Office in the Strand, says
" she envies that Company, for they have a large Ball all the year
round, and they keep it up like One o'clock ! "
The Spirit of the Till.
Colonel Mundy tells us, in his book of the Antipodes, that " The
Spirit of the Till is rapidly infusing itself into the native dealings and
character" at Australia. This is, in one sense, exactly what is wanted
in a country where hands are scarce. Tnis spirit will be driving the
natives to the Diggings, for if there is one field, which will yield more
to the Till than another, it must be a Gold Field.
The Distressed Bailiff's Home.
Owing to the great destitution amongst sheriffs' officers which has
been occasioned by rrcent law reforms, and will be increased by the
lamented decease of John Doe and Richard Roe, it is in contempla-
tion to establish an asylum for the benefit of that popular class of
persons, under the name of the Levi-athan.
an enquiry.
We wonder if Mr. Disraeli will bequeath to his successors all
he sees " looming in the future? " and whether he will bequeath it as
an " air-loom ? "