DOI issue:
July to December, 1852
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16610#0275
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI 267
ALARMING INUNDATION.
{From Our Own Reporter.)
A SONG OF THE NIGHT.
by A sufferer.
AlB.—" Obvious."
is our painful duty
to acquaint the Urn-
verse that an inund*- Provoking a sentence
tionof a most alarming tu, u„,.;,.„„^u
What un-fairylike music
Steals slumber from me?
nature has occarren,
which at one time
threatened to involve
a greater loss tl>an
any which tbe recent
Hoods have hitherto The cabs are all hushed,
That beginneth with D !
'Tis the voice of the trombone,
Blown with might and with main,
As it mingles its tone
With the shrill cornet's strain.
effected. When we
inform our readers—
we mean, of course,
the Universe — that
And the busses at rest:
But these sleep-murd'ring wretches
The still streets infest.
My ears from their torments
assertion will at once,
we think, be manifest.
Merely premising that
Our Own Reporter is
a rather nervous man,
we proceed at once to put his notes verbatim into circulation. The first we received
was headed thus :
Under the bed-clothes—half-past four, a.m.—I am aroused at this unpleasant
hour by the sudden entrance of ' our Boy,5 who informs me in a hurried manner that
there's suthun up!' Without waiting to hear what, I pencil this to show you
that he found me ready at my (bed) post."
Two minutes later.—I have despatched my breakfast and the boy, who in
parting, asks me somewhat cautiously, if I'm a ' svimmer.' Gathering from his
hints that it's an Inundation I am sent to, I improvise a IKe-belt with svme oil-
skin umbrella-cases, and putting on my overalls and patent aqua-scutum, I sally
down our alley undaunted, to the flood ! (P.S. As I cannot swim a stroke, it may
be as well to remind you that I have bequeathed a widow and six orphans to
your care.)
*******
An interval of more than half-an-hour here elapsed. The next despatch we
received wan almost hieroglyphical—apparently from excitement.
On the way.—I stop to say that I've been hoaxed by that inf— well, ini-erior
little scamp. The Inundation's Walker ! ! !
Six minutes and a half later.—No, it isn't. The imp spoke figuratively. The
City is inundated—but not in an aquatic sense. As far as I can see there is a
per'ect sea of heads, and fresh streams of people are continually pouring in.
" Quarter to.—I am carried by a current into Fleet Street, and take refuge on a
friendly lamp-post. The sea I spoke of surges fiercely round me. I tremble, but
I '11 not desert my Post.
" On the strike.—My position is becoming painful. (The lamp-post is a rather
hard one.)
" Striking.—A small newspaper boy has suddenly disappeared in a wave of the
crowd.
"Struck.—He rises on the kerbstone at my feet, and informs me, confi-
dentially, that ' all's serene.'
" Half a second later.—At present all is wrapped in mystery.
*******
We are able to unwrap it through another source. It appears that some malignant
scoundrel, wagering to out-hoax the Berners Street affair, had maliciously contrived
to circulate the report that upon the morning we allude to our Almanack would be
published. Well, knowing the attraction of this great national event, the scoundrel
naturally chose it for his purpose; and of course the "Alarming Inundation" we
have chronicled was the perfectly obvious and inevitable result.
the safety of the Punch ; IsTo night-cap cm save :
premises has b- en i So I groan for the summons
most seriously endan- To get up and shave,
gered, the truth of our
A Line of Narrow Gauge.
Railway Boards are Committees of Ways and Means that care more about
their Means than their Ways.
It may be added that they are so intent on the main chance, as to overlook the
minor chances, or risk of accidents.
Opposition.
An Indignant Tailor intends opening a shop opposite to the " Spiritual Rappers,"
with a tremendous notice over his duor to the following effect:
" do not be deceived ! this is the best shop for rap-rascals ! ! "
Theatrical Intelligence.
One of the pieces lately playing at the Lyceum has been
suppressed, we understand, by our vigilant Lord Chamber-
lain, for a political reason which will at once be obvious.
It was feared, in short, that it might hurt the feelings of
our friends across the Channel, by the rather sarcastic
reference to their late re-establishment of tbe Empire,
which is borne so pointedly in its title—" Anything for a
Change? _
appropriate christmas box.
As the Derby Ministry has been beaten, and, as after
the Derby Ministry we were promised tue Deluge, it would
not be a bad Christmas Box to present Mr. Disraeli
and every one of the Ministers with a ^ood stout umbrella.
Sincere Attachment.
*' Hast thou ever yet loved, Henrietta ? " I sighed.
" I should rather imagine I had," she replied;
" Oh, did not my glances my feelings betray
When you helped me the third time to pudding to-day P "
Honest for Once.
The Civil List of the French Emperor has been fixed at
25,000,000 francs—a little trifle equal to a million sterling.
In one respect, at least, Louis Napoleon has been true
to his principles—he has proved himself, by the above
grant, literally "A Man of the Million?'
Sitting in Jeopardy.
Why did you plaut your seat, Ben, between two opinions
Of the policy which ought to sway these vast dominions
In vain must you endeavour conviction to smother,
That Free Trade was one stool and Protection another
"You see what drinking has brought me to," as the Quart said to the old
Imperial Measure.
Another Meaning of the Initials ' W. B."—
Wholesale briberv.
ALARMING INUNDATION.
{From Our Own Reporter.)
A SONG OF THE NIGHT.
by A sufferer.
AlB.—" Obvious."
is our painful duty
to acquaint the Urn-
verse that an inund*- Provoking a sentence
tionof a most alarming tu, u„,.;,.„„^u
What un-fairylike music
Steals slumber from me?
nature has occarren,
which at one time
threatened to involve
a greater loss tl>an
any which tbe recent
Hoods have hitherto The cabs are all hushed,
That beginneth with D !
'Tis the voice of the trombone,
Blown with might and with main,
As it mingles its tone
With the shrill cornet's strain.
effected. When we
inform our readers—
we mean, of course,
the Universe — that
And the busses at rest:
But these sleep-murd'ring wretches
The still streets infest.
My ears from their torments
assertion will at once,
we think, be manifest.
Merely premising that
Our Own Reporter is
a rather nervous man,
we proceed at once to put his notes verbatim into circulation. The first we received
was headed thus :
Under the bed-clothes—half-past four, a.m.—I am aroused at this unpleasant
hour by the sudden entrance of ' our Boy,5 who informs me in a hurried manner that
there's suthun up!' Without waiting to hear what, I pencil this to show you
that he found me ready at my (bed) post."
Two minutes later.—I have despatched my breakfast and the boy, who in
parting, asks me somewhat cautiously, if I'm a ' svimmer.' Gathering from his
hints that it's an Inundation I am sent to, I improvise a IKe-belt with svme oil-
skin umbrella-cases, and putting on my overalls and patent aqua-scutum, I sally
down our alley undaunted, to the flood ! (P.S. As I cannot swim a stroke, it may
be as well to remind you that I have bequeathed a widow and six orphans to
your care.)
*******
An interval of more than half-an-hour here elapsed. The next despatch we
received wan almost hieroglyphical—apparently from excitement.
On the way.—I stop to say that I've been hoaxed by that inf— well, ini-erior
little scamp. The Inundation's Walker ! ! !
Six minutes and a half later.—No, it isn't. The imp spoke figuratively. The
City is inundated—but not in an aquatic sense. As far as I can see there is a
per'ect sea of heads, and fresh streams of people are continually pouring in.
" Quarter to.—I am carried by a current into Fleet Street, and take refuge on a
friendly lamp-post. The sea I spoke of surges fiercely round me. I tremble, but
I '11 not desert my Post.
" On the strike.—My position is becoming painful. (The lamp-post is a rather
hard one.)
" Striking.—A small newspaper boy has suddenly disappeared in a wave of the
crowd.
"Struck.—He rises on the kerbstone at my feet, and informs me, confi-
dentially, that ' all's serene.'
" Half a second later.—At present all is wrapped in mystery.
*******
We are able to unwrap it through another source. It appears that some malignant
scoundrel, wagering to out-hoax the Berners Street affair, had maliciously contrived
to circulate the report that upon the morning we allude to our Almanack would be
published. Well, knowing the attraction of this great national event, the scoundrel
naturally chose it for his purpose; and of course the "Alarming Inundation" we
have chronicled was the perfectly obvious and inevitable result.
the safety of the Punch ; IsTo night-cap cm save :
premises has b- en i So I groan for the summons
most seriously endan- To get up and shave,
gered, the truth of our
A Line of Narrow Gauge.
Railway Boards are Committees of Ways and Means that care more about
their Means than their Ways.
It may be added that they are so intent on the main chance, as to overlook the
minor chances, or risk of accidents.
Opposition.
An Indignant Tailor intends opening a shop opposite to the " Spiritual Rappers,"
with a tremendous notice over his duor to the following effect:
" do not be deceived ! this is the best shop for rap-rascals ! ! "
Theatrical Intelligence.
One of the pieces lately playing at the Lyceum has been
suppressed, we understand, by our vigilant Lord Chamber-
lain, for a political reason which will at once be obvious.
It was feared, in short, that it might hurt the feelings of
our friends across the Channel, by the rather sarcastic
reference to their late re-establishment of tbe Empire,
which is borne so pointedly in its title—" Anything for a
Change? _
appropriate christmas box.
As the Derby Ministry has been beaten, and, as after
the Derby Ministry we were promised tue Deluge, it would
not be a bad Christmas Box to present Mr. Disraeli
and every one of the Ministers with a ^ood stout umbrella.
Sincere Attachment.
*' Hast thou ever yet loved, Henrietta ? " I sighed.
" I should rather imagine I had," she replied;
" Oh, did not my glances my feelings betray
When you helped me the third time to pudding to-day P "
Honest for Once.
The Civil List of the French Emperor has been fixed at
25,000,000 francs—a little trifle equal to a million sterling.
In one respect, at least, Louis Napoleon has been true
to his principles—he has proved himself, by the above
grant, literally "A Man of the Million?'
Sitting in Jeopardy.
Why did you plaut your seat, Ben, between two opinions
Of the policy which ought to sway these vast dominions
In vain must you endeavour conviction to smother,
That Free Trade was one stool and Protection another
"You see what drinking has brought me to," as the Quart said to the old
Imperial Measure.
Another Meaning of the Initials ' W. B."—
Wholesale briberv.