DOI Heft:
January to June, 1853
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16611#0015
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
7
THE MINISTERIAL CHRISTMAS.
Owing to the politic reserve
of Loud Aberdeen, very little
reliable information has trans-
pired concerning the ministerial
arrangements of last week. The
following particulars, however,
have been de-
rived from a
we know, both
the one and the other may have been interdicted by his medical
attendant.
We can confidently state that the Chancellor oe the Exchequer
was one of the Prime Minister's party; and we have little doubt that
he regaled himself, to a certain extent, with mince-pie.
The attention of the Secretary for Foreign Affairs was directed
to Turkey; and it is supposed that he had a bone to pick in that
quarter.
The Lord Chancellor delivered an opinion on a sirloin, and pro-
nounced judgment on a glass of wine.
With respect to the other movements of the Ministry, we are
ignorant; indeed they were most likely themselves equally in the dark
as to what game they had best play : which, we should think, would
have been blind man's buff.
Or where they '11 find one as will suit that howdacious new hempire of
Parris,
Sowell as that other sweet party we had, which his name it is Harris,
Wich some thinks as there is no such persing, as he couldn't be fund
when required,
But is a good soul, and his meekness, I'm told, abroad have been
greatly admired ?
And how will they do without Manners in the Government Bildings
and Wurks,
Wich I'm sure they want Manners in there bad enough for them
imperent chirks ?
most reliable ! Well, I thought we wos in for a time, but we lives in a walley of
source, and may sorrer,
be depended on." And them as is here to-day may turn out to be noveres to-morrer,
On Christmas : Wich I'm sure if I'd known we Should lose both our places and
Day the Premier characters too,
had a dinner ; And get nothing at all by our change, I'd have stuck to Purtection
but as he was la- I _ all thro',
bouring under For it's grievous to eat all one's words, and to feel all the while like
slight indisposi-1 to bust,
tion, wc are not i And then to be forced to resign, wich one could 'ave resigned at the
in a position to | fust.
inform our read-1 But tho' I don't seek to proticipate, wich it aint my way and I'd
ers whether or I rather not,
not he partook of J Yet them as goes wrong with one may come right with two, wich it
roast beef or , may be my Benjimmin's lot;
plum - pudding ; i And tho' it's but little as puts us out, and collishuns in special is
because for aught | wrong,
We may have better luck the next time, wich I hope it'll come before
long."
MRS. GAMP'S LAMENT.
" Drat the bragian imperence ! I sez, and the arts of each fakshus
young feller,
Wich I wish I could give 'em a poke with my pattens or cotton
umbreller,
As ave throwed out the sweetest of Budgets, which it promised to
cheapen our beer,
And tho' it's but little I takes, I likes it drawed mild, and not dear,
Wich the bottles, besides, is three-parts froth, and don't hold wot
they ort,
And it's straining the pint rayther too far, to sell you a pint for a
quart.
But, Bless yer! we lives in a wale, and must look to be worried and
wexed, •
And I shouldn't noways be surpriged, if Lord Madesting's dilution
come next,
For the way that I've wep, since I heerd of my Benjimmin's want
ot success,
The cristial fontins themselves in the pallcge would fail to express,
But I ope he '11 console hisself soon with his Sibbles, and Tankards,
and histories,
And go back to the luvs of his youth, them beautiful Asmatic Miss
Terrys,*
Wich their Asma is not to be wunderd at, as they lived in the desert at
night,
'Stead of casting his purls before swine, wich, I meant to say, Cobding
and Brite.
And so we've to thank a colhshun, it seems, for these fakshus attacks,
(Wich it aint nothing more than lame fellers a riding on blind fellers
backs)
And as Johnny can't drive for hisself, he offers a seat and the reins
To them as can handle them for him, wich I ope they '11 be spilt for
their pains.
Bat I'd like to know where the collishun will ever find one as knows
more
Of the Post Offige, now, than Lord Ardwicks, wich he were a Post
Capting before ?
Apparently an allusion to the Asiatic Mystery which the Spirit of the East
revealed to Tanciied.
THE DIGNITY OP DUST.
We should feel much obliged to any antiquarian who would inform
us why it is that the Dustmen issue, at Christmas, such documents as
the following :—
TO THE WORTHY INHABITANTS OF BROMPTON.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
We the Regular DUSTMEN of this Parish, in the employ of Mr.
J. WILLIAMS make humble application to you for a CHRISTMAS BOX
which you are usually so kind as to give. We bring our Tokens, one a
Copper Medal, on one side the bust of a man in ancient costume ; inscription,
Benedictvs XIII. Pont. Max. On the reverse, a Roman Warrior on horse-
back, on a pedestal. Inscription, Carolo Magno Romanse Ecclesise. P.D.
1793. The other a Copper Medal of John Churchill, Duke of Malborough,
mdccxxii. Also a Silver Medal, on one side Sancroft, Archbishop of Can-
terbury, 1688, on the reverse, busts of Seven Bishops of the time of the
Reformation.
Thomas Daniels. Charles Stagg. Edward Prignell.
No Connection with Scavengers.
lgg= Every precaution should be taken, as there are Persons who go about
with intent to Defraud us and impose on you, be so kind as not to give your
Bounty to any Person, but to those who can produce Medals as aforesaid.
Please not to return this Bill.
The regularity of the Dustman is chiefly shown in his regularly asking
for a Christmas Box, and so far the document is inteUigible enough,
but we are puzzled when we come to examine the " tokens " produced
as a proof of the applicants being the legitimate heirs of the fantail
hat, and other dusty insignia. The probability is, that the antique medals
were picked up somewhere in the dust of ages, collected by some
dustman of an earlier era. The connection between the episcopacy and
the dust-cart is very remarkably shown by the silver medal with
Archbishop Sancroft on one side, and a batch of seven Bishops on
the other; but why the connection should exist is a question we have
no means of answering. Perhaps it is, that their ashes having been
settled long ago, the regular dustman may feel himself entitled to make
use of them.
We always thought the dustman's was about the humblest occupation
that could be pursued—for even the chimney-sweep's takes higher
views—but it seems there is " 'mid lower depths a deeper still," and an
aristocracy even in the dusthole, which with a sort of patrician ah insists
on " no connexion with scavengers." We doubt whether even a
beadle, laced to the very apex of his cocked hat in gold, could present a
prouder presence than the " regular " dustman wearing all his medals,
while looking up to everything and down upon the scaveugers on
Boxing-day.
A Clever Fellow. — Judging from the initials of Mr. Been ax
Osborne, we should say he was perfectly qualified to say B.O. to a
aroose.
7
THE MINISTERIAL CHRISTMAS.
Owing to the politic reserve
of Loud Aberdeen, very little
reliable information has trans-
pired concerning the ministerial
arrangements of last week. The
following particulars, however,
have been de-
rived from a
we know, both
the one and the other may have been interdicted by his medical
attendant.
We can confidently state that the Chancellor oe the Exchequer
was one of the Prime Minister's party; and we have little doubt that
he regaled himself, to a certain extent, with mince-pie.
The attention of the Secretary for Foreign Affairs was directed
to Turkey; and it is supposed that he had a bone to pick in that
quarter.
The Lord Chancellor delivered an opinion on a sirloin, and pro-
nounced judgment on a glass of wine.
With respect to the other movements of the Ministry, we are
ignorant; indeed they were most likely themselves equally in the dark
as to what game they had best play : which, we should think, would
have been blind man's buff.
Or where they '11 find one as will suit that howdacious new hempire of
Parris,
Sowell as that other sweet party we had, which his name it is Harris,
Wich some thinks as there is no such persing, as he couldn't be fund
when required,
But is a good soul, and his meekness, I'm told, abroad have been
greatly admired ?
And how will they do without Manners in the Government Bildings
and Wurks,
Wich I'm sure they want Manners in there bad enough for them
imperent chirks ?
most reliable ! Well, I thought we wos in for a time, but we lives in a walley of
source, and may sorrer,
be depended on." And them as is here to-day may turn out to be noveres to-morrer,
On Christmas : Wich I'm sure if I'd known we Should lose both our places and
Day the Premier characters too,
had a dinner ; And get nothing at all by our change, I'd have stuck to Purtection
but as he was la- I _ all thro',
bouring under For it's grievous to eat all one's words, and to feel all the while like
slight indisposi-1 to bust,
tion, wc are not i And then to be forced to resign, wich one could 'ave resigned at the
in a position to | fust.
inform our read-1 But tho' I don't seek to proticipate, wich it aint my way and I'd
ers whether or I rather not,
not he partook of J Yet them as goes wrong with one may come right with two, wich it
roast beef or , may be my Benjimmin's lot;
plum - pudding ; i And tho' it's but little as puts us out, and collishuns in special is
because for aught | wrong,
We may have better luck the next time, wich I hope it'll come before
long."
MRS. GAMP'S LAMENT.
" Drat the bragian imperence ! I sez, and the arts of each fakshus
young feller,
Wich I wish I could give 'em a poke with my pattens or cotton
umbreller,
As ave throwed out the sweetest of Budgets, which it promised to
cheapen our beer,
And tho' it's but little I takes, I likes it drawed mild, and not dear,
Wich the bottles, besides, is three-parts froth, and don't hold wot
they ort,
And it's straining the pint rayther too far, to sell you a pint for a
quart.
But, Bless yer! we lives in a wale, and must look to be worried and
wexed, •
And I shouldn't noways be surpriged, if Lord Madesting's dilution
come next,
For the way that I've wep, since I heerd of my Benjimmin's want
ot success,
The cristial fontins themselves in the pallcge would fail to express,
But I ope he '11 console hisself soon with his Sibbles, and Tankards,
and histories,
And go back to the luvs of his youth, them beautiful Asmatic Miss
Terrys,*
Wich their Asma is not to be wunderd at, as they lived in the desert at
night,
'Stead of casting his purls before swine, wich, I meant to say, Cobding
and Brite.
And so we've to thank a colhshun, it seems, for these fakshus attacks,
(Wich it aint nothing more than lame fellers a riding on blind fellers
backs)
And as Johnny can't drive for hisself, he offers a seat and the reins
To them as can handle them for him, wich I ope they '11 be spilt for
their pains.
Bat I'd like to know where the collishun will ever find one as knows
more
Of the Post Offige, now, than Lord Ardwicks, wich he were a Post
Capting before ?
Apparently an allusion to the Asiatic Mystery which the Spirit of the East
revealed to Tanciied.
THE DIGNITY OP DUST.
We should feel much obliged to any antiquarian who would inform
us why it is that the Dustmen issue, at Christmas, such documents as
the following :—
TO THE WORTHY INHABITANTS OF BROMPTON.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
We the Regular DUSTMEN of this Parish, in the employ of Mr.
J. WILLIAMS make humble application to you for a CHRISTMAS BOX
which you are usually so kind as to give. We bring our Tokens, one a
Copper Medal, on one side the bust of a man in ancient costume ; inscription,
Benedictvs XIII. Pont. Max. On the reverse, a Roman Warrior on horse-
back, on a pedestal. Inscription, Carolo Magno Romanse Ecclesise. P.D.
1793. The other a Copper Medal of John Churchill, Duke of Malborough,
mdccxxii. Also a Silver Medal, on one side Sancroft, Archbishop of Can-
terbury, 1688, on the reverse, busts of Seven Bishops of the time of the
Reformation.
Thomas Daniels. Charles Stagg. Edward Prignell.
No Connection with Scavengers.
lgg= Every precaution should be taken, as there are Persons who go about
with intent to Defraud us and impose on you, be so kind as not to give your
Bounty to any Person, but to those who can produce Medals as aforesaid.
Please not to return this Bill.
The regularity of the Dustman is chiefly shown in his regularly asking
for a Christmas Box, and so far the document is inteUigible enough,
but we are puzzled when we come to examine the " tokens " produced
as a proof of the applicants being the legitimate heirs of the fantail
hat, and other dusty insignia. The probability is, that the antique medals
were picked up somewhere in the dust of ages, collected by some
dustman of an earlier era. The connection between the episcopacy and
the dust-cart is very remarkably shown by the silver medal with
Archbishop Sancroft on one side, and a batch of seven Bishops on
the other; but why the connection should exist is a question we have
no means of answering. Perhaps it is, that their ashes having been
settled long ago, the regular dustman may feel himself entitled to make
use of them.
We always thought the dustman's was about the humblest occupation
that could be pursued—for even the chimney-sweep's takes higher
views—but it seems there is " 'mid lower depths a deeper still," and an
aristocracy even in the dusthole, which with a sort of patrician ah insists
on " no connexion with scavengers." We doubt whether even a
beadle, laced to the very apex of his cocked hat in gold, could present a
prouder presence than the " regular " dustman wearing all his medals,
while looking up to everything and down upon the scaveugers on
Boxing-day.
A Clever Fellow. — Judging from the initials of Mr. Been ax
Osborne, we should say he was perfectly qualified to say B.O. to a
aroose.