DOI issue:
January to June, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16611#0189
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
181
HARMONIC RAPPING.
If spirits can rap upon a table, it stands to
reason that they are also able to strike the keys
of a piano. The rappists should therefore extend
the range of their entertainments by adding a
Broadwood to their mahogany, and by com-
bining the harmonic meeting with the spiritual
seance. Weber, who was such a capital hand at
supernatural effects, and whose amiable character
during life renders it probable that his dispo-
sition is accommodating after death, would
doubtless willingly oblige the company with an
air or two from JDer Freischiitz, or Oberon, or
perform the overture to the Ruler of the Spirits.
The ears of the visitors might also be gratified
with a genuine " Ghost Melody:" the effect
whereof upon those organs would probably be
to add, in a preternatural degree, to their
natural elongation.
No Little Goes.
An emigrant to Australia writes :—" People
do not mind what hard work they undertake.
Very many graduates from Oxford and Cam-
bridge might be found at the bars of public-
houses, and in similar places." Considering
how utterly unaccustomed these gentlemen must
be to such scenes, their^ fortitude does th^rn
DISCERNMENT ! ' police ! police !
Clever Child. "On l do look here, Mamma dear. Such a Funny thing ! Mr. Boker's 1 What article of dress are Cooks most attached
QOT another forehead at the back of his head." [BoKER is delighted, to ?—The PellSSC
OUR HONEYMOON.
THURSDAY, MAY 15, 18-^
I say, I thought I should have dropped. (To-day is a blank day:
I'm all alone; nobody with me but the fears and anxieties of a wife ;
so I continue the story from the dreadful yesterday.) When I saw the
young lady—not that her looks or her manners appeared to me to be
too much of the lady—standing coolly by Frederick, and smiling—
yes, boldly smiling, as with his dear white teeth he now and then tried
to bite out the tangle of the filthy knots of those stupid fishing-lines—I
did feel all the spirit of a wife boil in my heart, and burn up in my
face. My face ! With the very flush, came the dreadful consciousness,
tihe terrible recollection of those odious gnat-bites ; and I could clearly
see the young lady's eyes—(eyes of treacherous, mischievous black; a
colour I never could abide,)—see her eyes wander up and down my
face ; and then, with a simper of insolence, make a dead settlement on
my nose; on the very place where the gnats had been. I could have—
well, at the moment, I wouldn't have answered for what I could have
done. If I'd only brought my veil! But there I stood, as I felt, an
injured, gnat-bitten, lawful wife, and looked down upon by that young
lady. And then the coolness of Fred ! Did I ever think he could be
such a savage ?
" You see, my dear, as I've told you,"—and he kept trying the knots
with his teeth—"as I've said, fishing near one another—by the way,
you should see what an admirable angler the lady is. How beautifully
she "—
And at this moment, with Fred still biting, she had—yes, before my
very face—she had the impudence to hope he wouldn't hurt his teeth !
What right had she to hope anything of the sort ? Such familiarity, and
as I say, 1—his wife—present! But I knew there was something: I
felt it all the way coming along—I was certain that he wouldn't go
out two days together fishing; and for trout, too. Yes: very pretty
trout. Never saw trout in a straw bonnet before. All this I couldn't
help thinking as I stood and saw their lines knotted and twisted. I
am not superstitious; certainly not ; but can't be deaf and bbnd to
omens so loud and so plain.
"Lotty, my love"—said Fred with aggravating coolness—"one
would think this knot the marriage knot; it seems impossible to undo it.
Don't you think "—and he laughed in his old provoking way—"don't
you think it is the marriage knot ?"
" Ko, Sir, 1 don't: I think it "—and I darted a look Hke a flash of
lightning at her—"I think it quite the reverse."
"It's a beautiful sport angling," said the young lady, mincing her
words. The kitten ! im.i_.li.
"Yes; very likely," said I: "especially to people without that
inconvenience, a heart."
n "Oh," said the bold thing, "you mean the cruelty? But I always
fish with an artificial fly."
"I should think it very likely," said I, and I made her a curtsey,
that if she'd had even the feeling of a dormouse, ought to have
withered her.
" And very beautifully—in fact much finer than Nature—the lady
makes them. Yes, Dotty, much finer than Nature—quite outdoes the
real thing," said Fred.
" Oh, I have not the least doubt you think so," and I could have
cried, but I wouldn't. _
"Book, love"-r-and he would shew me a lot of ■ rubbish; I don t
like to use a vulgar expression, but it was rubbish—" look, love : what
do you think of the young lady's Green-drake ?" and I did stare ; for
it was as much like a Green drake, as the young lady herself was like
a Blue Duck; and more, I had it on the tip ol my tongue to say as
much. £C
And then the young lady herself would put m her talk. We
anglers "— and she looked at Fred in a bold, strange way—' we anglers
call it the Green-drake fly." ,
"Oh, it's meant for a fly, is it?" said I; "well, I shouldn t have
thought it. I should rather have taken it for a frog, or a grass-
hopper." T , ,,
" Ha, the fish are the best judges; you should see, Dotty, how they
rise to it," said he. , ,
" I can understand that, dear Frederick :. fishes, like other people,
are so often taken by what is false, and artificial;" and my temper
began to get up. tt , ,
" But they mav be made so natural," said the young lady ; and then
they may be used so humanely. You see, to make a Green-drake —
" Or a green goose," I murmured with a look—yes, muttered quite
loud enough for Fred to hear me. More : I repeated it between my
teeth—"a green goose."
" To make the fly according to authority "—and the meek and tmia
creature went on—" you must take camel's hair, bright bear s hair,
the down that is combed from a hog's bristles "—
" Well, I'm sure," said I, with the loudest laugh I could manage.
" camels/bears, and hogs ! What strange company for a young lady !
And yet for all that, you seem quite at home with them. Ha! ha !
quite at home."
181
HARMONIC RAPPING.
If spirits can rap upon a table, it stands to
reason that they are also able to strike the keys
of a piano. The rappists should therefore extend
the range of their entertainments by adding a
Broadwood to their mahogany, and by com-
bining the harmonic meeting with the spiritual
seance. Weber, who was such a capital hand at
supernatural effects, and whose amiable character
during life renders it probable that his dispo-
sition is accommodating after death, would
doubtless willingly oblige the company with an
air or two from JDer Freischiitz, or Oberon, or
perform the overture to the Ruler of the Spirits.
The ears of the visitors might also be gratified
with a genuine " Ghost Melody:" the effect
whereof upon those organs would probably be
to add, in a preternatural degree, to their
natural elongation.
No Little Goes.
An emigrant to Australia writes :—" People
do not mind what hard work they undertake.
Very many graduates from Oxford and Cam-
bridge might be found at the bars of public-
houses, and in similar places." Considering
how utterly unaccustomed these gentlemen must
be to such scenes, their^ fortitude does th^rn
DISCERNMENT ! ' police ! police !
Clever Child. "On l do look here, Mamma dear. Such a Funny thing ! Mr. Boker's 1 What article of dress are Cooks most attached
QOT another forehead at the back of his head." [BoKER is delighted, to ?—The PellSSC
OUR HONEYMOON.
THURSDAY, MAY 15, 18-^
I say, I thought I should have dropped. (To-day is a blank day:
I'm all alone; nobody with me but the fears and anxieties of a wife ;
so I continue the story from the dreadful yesterday.) When I saw the
young lady—not that her looks or her manners appeared to me to be
too much of the lady—standing coolly by Frederick, and smiling—
yes, boldly smiling, as with his dear white teeth he now and then tried
to bite out the tangle of the filthy knots of those stupid fishing-lines—I
did feel all the spirit of a wife boil in my heart, and burn up in my
face. My face ! With the very flush, came the dreadful consciousness,
tihe terrible recollection of those odious gnat-bites ; and I could clearly
see the young lady's eyes—(eyes of treacherous, mischievous black; a
colour I never could abide,)—see her eyes wander up and down my
face ; and then, with a simper of insolence, make a dead settlement on
my nose; on the very place where the gnats had been. I could have—
well, at the moment, I wouldn't have answered for what I could have
done. If I'd only brought my veil! But there I stood, as I felt, an
injured, gnat-bitten, lawful wife, and looked down upon by that young
lady. And then the coolness of Fred ! Did I ever think he could be
such a savage ?
" You see, my dear, as I've told you,"—and he kept trying the knots
with his teeth—"as I've said, fishing near one another—by the way,
you should see what an admirable angler the lady is. How beautifully
she "—
And at this moment, with Fred still biting, she had—yes, before my
very face—she had the impudence to hope he wouldn't hurt his teeth !
What right had she to hope anything of the sort ? Such familiarity, and
as I say, 1—his wife—present! But I knew there was something: I
felt it all the way coming along—I was certain that he wouldn't go
out two days together fishing; and for trout, too. Yes: very pretty
trout. Never saw trout in a straw bonnet before. All this I couldn't
help thinking as I stood and saw their lines knotted and twisted. I
am not superstitious; certainly not ; but can't be deaf and bbnd to
omens so loud and so plain.
"Lotty, my love"—said Fred with aggravating coolness—"one
would think this knot the marriage knot; it seems impossible to undo it.
Don't you think "—and he laughed in his old provoking way—"don't
you think it is the marriage knot ?"
" Ko, Sir, 1 don't: I think it "—and I darted a look Hke a flash of
lightning at her—"I think it quite the reverse."
"It's a beautiful sport angling," said the young lady, mincing her
words. The kitten ! im.i_.li.
"Yes; very likely," said I: "especially to people without that
inconvenience, a heart."
n "Oh," said the bold thing, "you mean the cruelty? But I always
fish with an artificial fly."
"I should think it very likely," said I, and I made her a curtsey,
that if she'd had even the feeling of a dormouse, ought to have
withered her.
" And very beautifully—in fact much finer than Nature—the lady
makes them. Yes, Dotty, much finer than Nature—quite outdoes the
real thing," said Fred.
" Oh, I have not the least doubt you think so," and I could have
cried, but I wouldn't. _
"Book, love"-r-and he would shew me a lot of ■ rubbish; I don t
like to use a vulgar expression, but it was rubbish—" look, love : what
do you think of the young lady's Green-drake ?" and I did stare ; for
it was as much like a Green drake, as the young lady herself was like
a Blue Duck; and more, I had it on the tip ol my tongue to say as
much. £C
And then the young lady herself would put m her talk. We
anglers "— and she looked at Fred in a bold, strange way—' we anglers
call it the Green-drake fly." ,
"Oh, it's meant for a fly, is it?" said I; "well, I shouldn t have
thought it. I should rather have taken it for a frog, or a grass-
hopper." T , ,,
" Ha, the fish are the best judges; you should see, Dotty, how they
rise to it," said he. , ,
" I can understand that, dear Frederick :. fishes, like other people,
are so often taken by what is false, and artificial;" and my temper
began to get up. tt , ,
" But they mav be made so natural," said the young lady ; and then
they may be used so humanely. You see, to make a Green-drake —
" Or a green goose," I murmured with a look—yes, muttered quite
loud enough for Fred to hear me. More : I repeated it between my
teeth—"a green goose."
" To make the fly according to authority "—and the meek and tmia
creature went on—" you must take camel's hair, bright bear s hair,
the down that is combed from a hog's bristles "—
" Well, I'm sure," said I, with the loudest laugh I could manage.
" camels/bears, and hogs ! What strange company for a young lady !
And yet for all that, you seem quite at home with them. Ha! ha !
quite at home."