Punch (25.1853)

It was the auld Scottish Lion,

I heard him growlin’ sail- ;

“Deil ha’et, gin I pit up wi’

Siccan treatment ony mair.

“ Oh, ance my mane was winsome ;

And oh ! but my tail was lang;

But on them baith is scorn and scaith,
From Southron deeds of wrang!

“ Now up and ride, Laird Eglinton,
That was sae stout in stour,

That when it rainit cats and doss,

Aye jousted through the shower.

“ Now, horse ! my provosts and baillies.
And convener of the Trades,

Dean o’ Guild, and maister o’ Merchants,
The auld Lion craves your aids.

‘ It’s up on your ain middens,

My cocks, sae croose to craw.

And gar play your Scottish fiddles,

And your Scottish bag-pipes blaw.

“ And they liae ta’en and sworn an aith—
An aith both strang and true—

That for the auld Lion o’ Scotland
They will win back his due.

“ I’ve a sair, sair pain in my belly,

And a sair catch in my breath •

Ye ’ll mind it was English misdoings
That brocht me to my death.

“ And ye’ve aye uphauld, sae bluff and bauld.
My right my tail to wag,

Aboon the pock-puddins’ Lion
Upon the Scottish flag.

“ Ye ’ll to the Prince Royal o’ Scotland—
Him the Southrons misca’s ‘ Wales,’
And ask him what gars his household
W'ear breeks aboot their tails ?

Why a Scots’ prince hasna aboot him
Scots’ men and places got,

A’ things Scots, but the wages, whilk
should be

Funds sterlin’, aud no punds Scot.

“ Say there’s a keeper o’ the swans
Whose office ocht to cease,

Or Scotland behoves a keeper too.

To keep her Solan geese.

“ There’s the maister o’ the music,

That the music maks avs
For his thousand puns’ a year
I trow he were best awa’.

“ Or if no that Scotland ocht to brink
Her music-maister too,

Wi’ bagpipe and Scotch fiddle
We ’ll find him wark to do.

“And they have put down the Scottish
mint,

Nae money noo mak’ we,

I trow they hae sent to Brummagem
To coin the Scots’ bawhee!

“ Aud we hae Parliament Members
eneuch

Our votes wi’ place to buy;

There’s many a gude job in England,

But nae Scots’ thumb in the pie.

“ And Holyrood Park is a bonny pL.ce,
But ’tis nae place for me and you ;

And the Embro’ baillies lets it
Por a kailyard oot to feu.

‘‘ And oh, ’tis in geography
We’re driven to the wa’—

Till in the map o’ Europe
We ’re hard to find ava’;

“ And when a Scotsman’s to be hung
(E’en Scotland rogues will plague)
There’s nae a Scottish hangman to fit
The noose about his craig.

' Now, well-a-day, and wae is me,

For the days of auld lang syne.

When wi’ England we had nocht to do
Save liftin’ o’ her kine !

“ The Lion o’ a kingdom small
I trow I’d suner be.

Than the Lion of an empire vast
When there’s ither there than me.”

A CHANCE FOR THE POOR CLERGY.

I

It is certainly scandalous that there should be any sale of livings,
though, if the practice must exist, we are happy to find that a “ good
living ” may be bought for a sum within the crippled means of a poor
clergyman, who has not yet exhausted the whole of his begging and
borrowing resources and energies. The annexed advertisement will,
we trust, attract the attention of the sons of the clergy who may be
induced to confer the “ good living ” on one of the thousands of poor
parsons whom the clergy’s sons claim the especial privilege of aiding
and comforting. The advertisement is copied literally from the Times
I newspaper.

A GOOD LIVING.—To be SOLD, a new PATENT MANGLE, by
^ Baker, with good business attached,-uitable for any industrious person desirous
of obtaining a respectable livelihood. Price £12. Apply at, &c.

There is a “ good living ” to be had for twelve pounds, and it is
evidently a much better thing than the average run of small curacies,
tor it will enable a person to obtain “ a respectable livelihood.”

We are glad to find that the condition of the poor clergy is at length
being looked at in its proper light, and that a good mangle may be
advertised as a “ good living ” so as to catch at once the eye of the clerical
class to whom the owner of the mangle has evidently addressed himself.
We shall really begin to. hope that the wretched condition of the under-
paid clergyman is beginning to “ take a turn,” if we can find in
Reverend hands a few mangles with “ good livings ” attached to them.

London without a Policeman.—Thepp is a threat of all the
policemen striking.—We doubt if London will perceive the difference,
even supposing that they do.

LOYE’S LABOUR LOST AT LIMERICK.

Op what use is it to read a good book and trangress its rules in the
very act P _ ...

The Times has a paragraph, stating that two London missionaries,
the Rev. Messrs. Dickinson and Lewis, attempted to read and ex-
pound the Scriptures to a crowd in Limerick on Sunday evening;
when—

11 After a few minutes a mob collected and set upon the Reverend gentlemen, who
were severely maltreated. It is computed that 10,000 of the canaille of Limerick were
engaged in hooting, yelling, and throwing stones, where they could with safety to
themselves, at the obnoxious clergymen.”

Oh, Mr. Dickinson! Oh, Mr. Lewis! Pmich does not quote
anything above Shakspeare ; but how coaid you—Reverend gentlemen
—how could you scatter sacred words before the Limerick multitude?
Have you not sufficiently studied the volume you were reading from to
recollect what it says about pearls and—Limerick multitudes ? Well
—you have disobeyed the precept—and taken the consequences.

Something really New.

Q. What Member of the present House oi oommons has really made
himself a new name in the country ?

A. The Member for South Essex—who spells bis name Smijtk.
We have met with Smiths in thousands before, and know a few
Smtthes, and have been introduced to Smyths and Smythes by the
kindred; but never, in our whole existence, do we recollect having
ever met with a single Smijth ! It’s grand ! How noble the simple
j introduction of that j makes it! But we wonder how the servants j
| pronounce it at an evening party ?