DOI issue:
July to December, 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16612#0143
132
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
! on condition of eating with, the goose an optional quantity of mashed
turnip, in order to signify the demolition of that Lantern to which
profane scepticism would refer supernatural appearances.
Indulgence in brandy, gin, rum, Hollands,_ and whiskey ; in su-
perior ale, porter, and stout; and in _ genuine foreign wines and
liqueurs—to any extent, on condition of ringing the bell, or calling the
' waiter, and repeating the proper order for the liquor as often as may
be requisite.
Indulgence in tea and shrimps.
Indulgence in tobacco for any term of hours; the hostelry remaining
open.
Indulgence of the same duration in the amusement afforded by a
good dry skittle ground.
Indulgence above stairs in the exercise of dancing; on condition of
Two of the most Extraordinary Occurrences of the
executing the proper movements to the tune of “ Pop goes the Weasel.''
or whatsoever other measure may be prescribed by popularity.
Indulgence in the delights of harmony in the Shades below: on con
dition of expressing a desire for refreshment.
To secure the full benefit of these Indulgences it will be only neces-
sary, further, to pay for them ; and that this may the more conveniently
be done they will be supplied on the most liberal scale of charges.
In addition to the Skittle Ground, there will be provided a Bowling
Green, surrounded with a Ghost’s Walk, adorned with Winking I
Statues, Bleeding Pictures, and other objects of like nature calculated \
to edify the faithful in such matters. In conclusion, Respectable and
Intelligent, as touching liquor, we profess ourselves ever ready to
supply you
In Your Own Jugs, Brummagem Brompton.
Day—The Appearances at Salette and Chelsea.
NEUTRALITY IN PLUSII.
The wonders of steam at Manchester and other great manufacturing
towns are quite eclipsed by the triumph at which mechanical science
has arrived in an obscure locality. YVitness this advertisement,
extracted from the Cambridge Chronicle of the 10th instant:
ANTED in a Clergyman’s family in the country, a FOOTMAN, which
must also have a knowledge of Gardening. For pariiculars address X. Y., Post
Office, Caxton.
The Pootman which is wanted in a Clergyman’s family, is, of course,
a Machine; as the neuter pronoun, by the tenet of Murray, held of
course by every clergyman, is to be applied to animals and inanimate
things ; and no known animal is capable of a Pootman’s place. The
Pootman thus wanted might have been supposed to be a trivet, but
for the requisition that it shall have a knowledge of gardening. This
proves that it must be an Engine—and in part a Garden Engine—
endowed with intellectual faculties. That it is advertised for is suf-
ficient evidence that it exists.
_ Necessity is the mother of invention; and the dearth of labour, com-
bined with the insolence, unthrift, and dishonesty of servants, has
compelled some clever mechanist to devise the sort of Eootman which
is wanted by the clergyman ; and has been long in general request.
How such a domestic could have been constructed; how it was
possible to make a lackey that should not only clean boots and wait
at table, but dig, and prune, and plant, and exercise intelligence, more-
over, in these horticultural operations, it is difficult to conceive.
Imagination staggers at the idea of a Steam Elunkey. The Mr. Smee,
who resolves thought into electrical action, may suppose that galvan-
ism might have served to vivify the apparatus, and cause the fibres of
its artificial braiu to quiver with those vibrations which constitute
1 perception, memory, and understanding. But if mind consists in
vibrations, the abilities of a Shakspere are no great shakes; there-
fore we cannot accept such a theory of the constitnlion of the Pootman
winch is wanted in a Clergyman’s family.
The mysterious agency concerned in Table Turning, belief in which
has in some minds survived its refutation by Paraday, we should
rather consider to be the animating principle of this Prayken stein’s
Androides or Andrewoides, artificial Andrew or automatic John
Thomas.
The female domestics in the family of the clergyman are, of course,
of a nature similar to that of the manservant which is wanted there,
since no housemaid or cook could stay in a house where a Pootman
was kept referred to by the neuter pronoun, which, and consequently
where the Pootman was an Inanimate Thing.
A Table for Mr. Commissioner Murphy.
Once upon a time, a lot of murphies—id est potatoes—were put in
a pot together. “ Now, boys ”—said one of the praties—“ as we ’ll all
be in hot water—all of a bilin’—wobble as we may, for the credit of
ould Ireland—don’t let us split on one another.”
The Main Stays of Science.
The savans at Hull have lately been giving some very interesting
results of the trial of the strength of “ stays.” Surely this department-
should have been left to a female committee, for the true strength of
“ stays ” can only be ascertained by experiments in very tight lacing.
A NEW TIDE OE EMIGRATION.
Gold has .been discovered in Scotland. This discovery may work
perhaps a miracle. It may have the effect of sending all the Scotch-
men, who for years have left their native country, “bock again.”
Another “ Height op Impudence.”—Naming a Railway Engine
“ Safety.”
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
! on condition of eating with, the goose an optional quantity of mashed
turnip, in order to signify the demolition of that Lantern to which
profane scepticism would refer supernatural appearances.
Indulgence in brandy, gin, rum, Hollands,_ and whiskey ; in su-
perior ale, porter, and stout; and in _ genuine foreign wines and
liqueurs—to any extent, on condition of ringing the bell, or calling the
' waiter, and repeating the proper order for the liquor as often as may
be requisite.
Indulgence in tea and shrimps.
Indulgence in tobacco for any term of hours; the hostelry remaining
open.
Indulgence of the same duration in the amusement afforded by a
good dry skittle ground.
Indulgence above stairs in the exercise of dancing; on condition of
Two of the most Extraordinary Occurrences of the
executing the proper movements to the tune of “ Pop goes the Weasel.''
or whatsoever other measure may be prescribed by popularity.
Indulgence in the delights of harmony in the Shades below: on con
dition of expressing a desire for refreshment.
To secure the full benefit of these Indulgences it will be only neces-
sary, further, to pay for them ; and that this may the more conveniently
be done they will be supplied on the most liberal scale of charges.
In addition to the Skittle Ground, there will be provided a Bowling
Green, surrounded with a Ghost’s Walk, adorned with Winking I
Statues, Bleeding Pictures, and other objects of like nature calculated \
to edify the faithful in such matters. In conclusion, Respectable and
Intelligent, as touching liquor, we profess ourselves ever ready to
supply you
In Your Own Jugs, Brummagem Brompton.
Day—The Appearances at Salette and Chelsea.
NEUTRALITY IN PLUSII.
The wonders of steam at Manchester and other great manufacturing
towns are quite eclipsed by the triumph at which mechanical science
has arrived in an obscure locality. YVitness this advertisement,
extracted from the Cambridge Chronicle of the 10th instant:
ANTED in a Clergyman’s family in the country, a FOOTMAN, which
must also have a knowledge of Gardening. For pariiculars address X. Y., Post
Office, Caxton.
The Pootman which is wanted in a Clergyman’s family, is, of course,
a Machine; as the neuter pronoun, by the tenet of Murray, held of
course by every clergyman, is to be applied to animals and inanimate
things ; and no known animal is capable of a Pootman’s place. The
Pootman thus wanted might have been supposed to be a trivet, but
for the requisition that it shall have a knowledge of gardening. This
proves that it must be an Engine—and in part a Garden Engine—
endowed with intellectual faculties. That it is advertised for is suf-
ficient evidence that it exists.
_ Necessity is the mother of invention; and the dearth of labour, com-
bined with the insolence, unthrift, and dishonesty of servants, has
compelled some clever mechanist to devise the sort of Eootman which
is wanted by the clergyman ; and has been long in general request.
How such a domestic could have been constructed; how it was
possible to make a lackey that should not only clean boots and wait
at table, but dig, and prune, and plant, and exercise intelligence, more-
over, in these horticultural operations, it is difficult to conceive.
Imagination staggers at the idea of a Steam Elunkey. The Mr. Smee,
who resolves thought into electrical action, may suppose that galvan-
ism might have served to vivify the apparatus, and cause the fibres of
its artificial braiu to quiver with those vibrations which constitute
1 perception, memory, and understanding. But if mind consists in
vibrations, the abilities of a Shakspere are no great shakes; there-
fore we cannot accept such a theory of the constitnlion of the Pootman
winch is wanted in a Clergyman’s family.
The mysterious agency concerned in Table Turning, belief in which
has in some minds survived its refutation by Paraday, we should
rather consider to be the animating principle of this Prayken stein’s
Androides or Andrewoides, artificial Andrew or automatic John
Thomas.
The female domestics in the family of the clergyman are, of course,
of a nature similar to that of the manservant which is wanted there,
since no housemaid or cook could stay in a house where a Pootman
was kept referred to by the neuter pronoun, which, and consequently
where the Pootman was an Inanimate Thing.
A Table for Mr. Commissioner Murphy.
Once upon a time, a lot of murphies—id est potatoes—were put in
a pot together. “ Now, boys ”—said one of the praties—“ as we ’ll all
be in hot water—all of a bilin’—wobble as we may, for the credit of
ould Ireland—don’t let us split on one another.”
The Main Stays of Science.
The savans at Hull have lately been giving some very interesting
results of the trial of the strength of “ stays.” Surely this department-
should have been left to a female committee, for the true strength of
“ stays ” can only be ascertained by experiments in very tight lacing.
A NEW TIDE OE EMIGRATION.
Gold has .been discovered in Scotland. This discovery may work
perhaps a miracle. It may have the effect of sending all the Scotch-
men, who for years have left their native country, “bock again.”
Another “ Height op Impudence.”—Naming a Railway Engine
“ Safety.”