Punch (27.1854)

THE VIRGIN AFLOAT.

The Czar lately presented a miraculous image, by way of figure-head, to a Russian three-
decker; and a few days ago, Louis Napoleon sent his image of the Virgin Mary to
the French fleet; the image was blessed on board the Inflexible, and will no doubt be quite
equal to the Russian saint, should they ever meet. We do not deal in saints afloat;
merely adopting for English figure-heads, homely unblessed wood cut and carved into
Benbows, Howes, and Prince Alberts. Nevertheless, it is said that the Prime Minister
intends to present his image to a British man-of-war, that of "Patience on a Monument,"
smiling at Sebastopol.

IMPORTANT FROM THE SEAT OF WAR !

LETTERS FROM THE EAST BY OUR OWN" BASHI-BOZOTJK.

" My dear Sir,

" The Police silently retired about three in the morning, leaving
Tuffskin flayed alive, and myself burning with indignation at an
insult which, though it iiad fallen on Count Tuffsktn's shoulders, had
been intended for me. Matilda Schouzoff—beautiful, beloved, faithless
Matilda—had rescued me from that peril: she had got an inkling, on the
previous evening from the Police Minister, her father, of the fate that
was destined for me.

" It was pretended that I was a Russian subject. I had indeed
accepted service with the Emperor—and of what country am I a
subject since that day when, a fugitive and an exile, I shook off my
country and my allegiance with the bootless clods of Ballingarry ?—
nevertheless, writhing at the notion of the insult, I rushed away imme-
diately after breakfast, and sent up a note to our—I mean the English

minister, Sir H—m—lt— n S—m—r, intimating that the M--of

B—m— desired to see him : his Excellency knew me as a gentleman
before I was an exile ; we have danced together at Almack's and
the Tuileries many times, and always lived on terms of the greatest
fordialitv.

" Sir H—m—lt—n said very fairly, ' My good fellow, what can I do
for you ? you are no longer a Chieftain and gentleman of the Umted
Kingdom; or if you are, I must claim you. I must claim you as a
rebel, send you back to Ireland for trial, when you will be transported
to Van Diemen's Land, where probably you will not act as certain
friends of yours have done.'

" I said if his Excellency meant Messrs. M. and N., though I
might not possibly approve of their proceedings, yet I was prepared
to blow out the brains of any man who questioned their strict honour,
and so I tell Mr. Duffy to his face here as I write—thousands
of miles away from home under the battlemented walls of Redout
Kaleh !

" When his Excellency heard of Tuffskin's misadventure, he burst
out laughiDg as if the deuce was in him, and so did that queer fellow
his Secretary, who was in the room when our interview took place. I
can see for my part nothing comic in the transaction; however, as the
bastinado had been administered in private, a? all these things are kept
dark in Petersburg, as Tuffskin to this day believes he got the rattan
on his private account, I agreed with my friends the English diplo-

Vol. 27.

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