DOI issue:
July to December, 1854
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16614#0031
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
On quitting Egypt by the entrance towards the Greek Court, we
may observe some interesting subjects on the facade, and. among
others, is the initiation of the King into the sacred mysteries, by
pouring over him in rapid succession the contents of several vessels.
Having attended t'-e reader through the Egyptian Court, we will
request him to take an imaginary turn with us to Egypt itself, whose
THE SEA FIGHT OF SEBASTOPOL.
(RUSSIAN ACCOUNT.)
Observing an
Anglo-French
gigantic monuments are the oldest and largest in the world, so that | j squadron, con
modern art has never outgrown the ancient, although growing out of \ ^ I sisting of 10
it. The two pyramids were _ built by two kings, Cheops and Nechoso, j j sail of the line,
who had such an idea of their own greatness that they thought nothing detached some
less than the pyramid would be large enough for them to be buried in. distance from
The Egyptians used to cut forms of architecture in the rocks, a the main fleet,
oractice which has long been followed by the people of llamsgate, who 6^^^ ' which number-
nave cut coal sheds out of the solid cliff on their Pier, with much inge- lliIlliL_ - - ed many hun-
nuity. The Obelisk is also of Egyptian origin, and needs no description ^^^^^^^^^s?^^1^^ dred men-of-
as the article is one with which we have all been placed on terms of WMBbK||||\ !^^^^»^z:„u=—= war and fri-
familiarity—bordering on contempt—by the bit of masonry in the _Ll_ ^^^^aM^Jl^wi gates, our two
Blackfriars .Road and the Waithman monument in Eleet Street.
Here we take leave of the reader for the present, to proceed to our
office in Bride Court,—a Court which, for "the vast renown it hath
acquired " will some day be added to the other Courts in the Crystal
Palace.
A SCIENTIFIC QUESTION.
"Me. Punch,
" You know everything. And if you do not, you have such an
extraordinary talent for hiding your ignorance, that even your igno-
rance is far more valuable than the knowledge of other people.
" I perceive, Sir, that, answering the urgent call for paper—(the
article having become monstrously scarce in consequence of the cash-
payments in whitey-brown by Austria)—a Frenchman, one M. Viven,
has taken out a patent in England for thr manufacturing of paper
from leaves of trees, plants, and other vegetable matter.
" Nov/, Sir, all flesh being grass, is it to consider the matter too
curiously to hope to see some day, under M. Viven's process, a fine
tall copy.of " The Whole Duty of Man" printed in clear large type on
the fleshly grass of what was once a Bishop ? A Chancellor of the
Exchequer, " reduced to pulp," might find himself upon the stalls as a
" Beady Reckoner;" and even a fashionable duchess rustle in the
leaves of " The Complete Footman."
" Very curious, Mr. Punch, are the day-dreams of science ! With
this profound reflection,
" I remain, yours,
"Weasel Wideawake."
THE DOWNFALL OF DOWNING STREET.
The friends of the Ministers have reason to be alarmed at the shakey
condition of the Foreign Office, which seems to threaten the downfall
of at least one department of the Government. It seems that the
Foreign Secretary cannot give a party without having the building
propped up—a fact which we hear without surprise, for if " the party "
consists of the old Whig party, a great amount of propping up must be
required. It seems that a dinner cannot be given, because there is no
kitchen; and indeed if there were a kitchen, it is probable there would
be so many Whig cooks on the look-out for employment, that they
would spoil the broth among them. If the Foreign Secretary cannot
give a dinner cooked at home, we suppose he must have it sent in from
some neighbouring tavern, to which an order for " six beefs," and so
many breads and vegetables, according to the number of the guests, will
have been previously forwarded. If, however, the Foreign Secretary
cannot always offer to those who drop in upon him the luxury of
" hot joints," it may be convenient at times to give them the " cold
shoulder."
We are told that on one occasion of a dinner having been given, the
ceiling fell into the soup-plates, and furnished a species of white soup
that was not altogether agreeable. The incident probably happened
when our relations with France were rather unsettled, and the piaster
of Paris was not so firmly united with the Foreign Office as could have
been desired. We are rather surprised at what we have heard, for we
always thought the Foreign Office was the very last of our Government
departments that was likely to give way—which it never would have
done while upheld by such a pillar of strength as Pal.uerston.
=r steamers, Gro-
monassetz and
Wladimir, is-
sued from the
harbour of Se-
bastopol in or-
der to chastise
the insolence
of the enemy,
who had dared
to approach to
within a few
versts of the
range of the
guns of the
Imperial for-
tress.
With a temerity which was not to have been expected after their
defeat at Odessa, the French and English ships maintained their
position, and awaited the conflict, which, however, they did not venture
to initiate.
A summons to surrender having been received by the enemy in
silence, the Gromonassetz fired a ninety-eight pounder, which carried
away the mainmast of the British flagship. A similar ball discharged
by the Wladimir sent two French vessels of 100 and 150 guns to the
bottom.
The enemy then opened a fire upon us, which may be described as
terrific, on account of its noise, but which did comparatively little
damage, although it lasted for full six hours. Our loss amounted to
two or three killed, and about twenty scratched and otherwise slightly
wounded • inclusive of some officers. The bowsprit of the Wladimir
was grazed by a round shot, and the topsail of the Gromonassetz was
torn by the explosion of a shell.
On the part of the enemy the loss must have been very severe.
Besides the French vessels sunk by the Wladimir, an_ English line-of-
battle ship wa3 blown up by a red-hot ball, sent right through her
powder magazine by the Gromonassetz. Another shot from the same
vessel constituted a miracle of gunnery, taking effect, as intended,
under water, and carrying away the propeller of an English screw-
steamer. Most of the other ships of the enemy were dismasted, and
several lost their rudders.
The unequal contest continued during the greater part of the day,
when the hostile squadron, as much as remained of it, took to flight, as
fast as its disabled condition permitted. Our two gallant little
steamers immediately gave chase, and had nearly overtaken their
opponents, whom they would certainly have captured, but that the
combined fleets, bearing up to the rescue, presented an array of force
so overwhelming that our brave commanders, with due regard to
prudence, felt that they would hardly be justified in engaging it. They
therefore slowly returned to Sebastopol, covered with glory, and
singing songs of triumph, whde loud lamentations resounded from the
liostilc cirnicLmtiiit
His Imperial Majesty has issued commands for a Te Beum to be sung
in all churches as a thanksgiving for this glorious victory. He has
ennobled the two Captains of the conquering steamers, Bkaganoff,
and Gammonowski, conferring on them also the rank of Admirals All
the officers have been proportionably advanced ; the seamen have been
raised to the rank of lieutenants ; and all the cabin-boys and powder-
monkeys promoted to be midshipmen.
A Difficult Calling.
Pleasure at Pleasure Gardens. T „ ,i . .i a? c . j.i j„
It may be all very well to say that the office of a tax-gatherer neeas
no great ability for the fulfilment of its duties, but there is no employ-
ment which requires such constant application.
Between a man who goes up in a balloon to come down in a para<
chute, and any one who resorts to see him, there is this difference, that
the former risks his neck, and the latter does not. As the one,
however, is accessary to the other's suicide in case that other should
get killed, it may well be questioned whether the law ought not to
place the spectator in equal peril with the aeronaut.
The Silistrian Operation.—As the Russian soldier tastes so
much of the stick, it is no wonder that he should take the first oppor-
tunity of cutting it.
On quitting Egypt by the entrance towards the Greek Court, we
may observe some interesting subjects on the facade, and. among
others, is the initiation of the King into the sacred mysteries, by
pouring over him in rapid succession the contents of several vessels.
Having attended t'-e reader through the Egyptian Court, we will
request him to take an imaginary turn with us to Egypt itself, whose
THE SEA FIGHT OF SEBASTOPOL.
(RUSSIAN ACCOUNT.)
Observing an
Anglo-French
gigantic monuments are the oldest and largest in the world, so that | j squadron, con
modern art has never outgrown the ancient, although growing out of \ ^ I sisting of 10
it. The two pyramids were _ built by two kings, Cheops and Nechoso, j j sail of the line,
who had such an idea of their own greatness that they thought nothing detached some
less than the pyramid would be large enough for them to be buried in. distance from
The Egyptians used to cut forms of architecture in the rocks, a the main fleet,
oractice which has long been followed by the people of llamsgate, who 6^^^ ' which number-
nave cut coal sheds out of the solid cliff on their Pier, with much inge- lliIlliL_ - - ed many hun-
nuity. The Obelisk is also of Egyptian origin, and needs no description ^^^^^^^^^s?^^1^^ dred men-of-
as the article is one with which we have all been placed on terms of WMBbK||||\ !^^^^»^z:„u=—= war and fri-
familiarity—bordering on contempt—by the bit of masonry in the _Ll_ ^^^^aM^Jl^wi gates, our two
Blackfriars .Road and the Waithman monument in Eleet Street.
Here we take leave of the reader for the present, to proceed to our
office in Bride Court,—a Court which, for "the vast renown it hath
acquired " will some day be added to the other Courts in the Crystal
Palace.
A SCIENTIFIC QUESTION.
"Me. Punch,
" You know everything. And if you do not, you have such an
extraordinary talent for hiding your ignorance, that even your igno-
rance is far more valuable than the knowledge of other people.
" I perceive, Sir, that, answering the urgent call for paper—(the
article having become monstrously scarce in consequence of the cash-
payments in whitey-brown by Austria)—a Frenchman, one M. Viven,
has taken out a patent in England for thr manufacturing of paper
from leaves of trees, plants, and other vegetable matter.
" Nov/, Sir, all flesh being grass, is it to consider the matter too
curiously to hope to see some day, under M. Viven's process, a fine
tall copy.of " The Whole Duty of Man" printed in clear large type on
the fleshly grass of what was once a Bishop ? A Chancellor of the
Exchequer, " reduced to pulp," might find himself upon the stalls as a
" Beady Reckoner;" and even a fashionable duchess rustle in the
leaves of " The Complete Footman."
" Very curious, Mr. Punch, are the day-dreams of science ! With
this profound reflection,
" I remain, yours,
"Weasel Wideawake."
THE DOWNFALL OF DOWNING STREET.
The friends of the Ministers have reason to be alarmed at the shakey
condition of the Foreign Office, which seems to threaten the downfall
of at least one department of the Government. It seems that the
Foreign Secretary cannot give a party without having the building
propped up—a fact which we hear without surprise, for if " the party "
consists of the old Whig party, a great amount of propping up must be
required. It seems that a dinner cannot be given, because there is no
kitchen; and indeed if there were a kitchen, it is probable there would
be so many Whig cooks on the look-out for employment, that they
would spoil the broth among them. If the Foreign Secretary cannot
give a dinner cooked at home, we suppose he must have it sent in from
some neighbouring tavern, to which an order for " six beefs," and so
many breads and vegetables, according to the number of the guests, will
have been previously forwarded. If, however, the Foreign Secretary
cannot always offer to those who drop in upon him the luxury of
" hot joints," it may be convenient at times to give them the " cold
shoulder."
We are told that on one occasion of a dinner having been given, the
ceiling fell into the soup-plates, and furnished a species of white soup
that was not altogether agreeable. The incident probably happened
when our relations with France were rather unsettled, and the piaster
of Paris was not so firmly united with the Foreign Office as could have
been desired. We are rather surprised at what we have heard, for we
always thought the Foreign Office was the very last of our Government
departments that was likely to give way—which it never would have
done while upheld by such a pillar of strength as Pal.uerston.
=r steamers, Gro-
monassetz and
Wladimir, is-
sued from the
harbour of Se-
bastopol in or-
der to chastise
the insolence
of the enemy,
who had dared
to approach to
within a few
versts of the
range of the
guns of the
Imperial for-
tress.
With a temerity which was not to have been expected after their
defeat at Odessa, the French and English ships maintained their
position, and awaited the conflict, which, however, they did not venture
to initiate.
A summons to surrender having been received by the enemy in
silence, the Gromonassetz fired a ninety-eight pounder, which carried
away the mainmast of the British flagship. A similar ball discharged
by the Wladimir sent two French vessels of 100 and 150 guns to the
bottom.
The enemy then opened a fire upon us, which may be described as
terrific, on account of its noise, but which did comparatively little
damage, although it lasted for full six hours. Our loss amounted to
two or three killed, and about twenty scratched and otherwise slightly
wounded • inclusive of some officers. The bowsprit of the Wladimir
was grazed by a round shot, and the topsail of the Gromonassetz was
torn by the explosion of a shell.
On the part of the enemy the loss must have been very severe.
Besides the French vessels sunk by the Wladimir, an_ English line-of-
battle ship wa3 blown up by a red-hot ball, sent right through her
powder magazine by the Gromonassetz. Another shot from the same
vessel constituted a miracle of gunnery, taking effect, as intended,
under water, and carrying away the propeller of an English screw-
steamer. Most of the other ships of the enemy were dismasted, and
several lost their rudders.
The unequal contest continued during the greater part of the day,
when the hostile squadron, as much as remained of it, took to flight, as
fast as its disabled condition permitted. Our two gallant little
steamers immediately gave chase, and had nearly overtaken their
opponents, whom they would certainly have captured, but that the
combined fleets, bearing up to the rescue, presented an array of force
so overwhelming that our brave commanders, with due regard to
prudence, felt that they would hardly be justified in engaging it. They
therefore slowly returned to Sebastopol, covered with glory, and
singing songs of triumph, whde loud lamentations resounded from the
liostilc cirnicLmtiiit
His Imperial Majesty has issued commands for a Te Beum to be sung
in all churches as a thanksgiving for this glorious victory. He has
ennobled the two Captains of the conquering steamers, Bkaganoff,
and Gammonowski, conferring on them also the rank of Admirals All
the officers have been proportionably advanced ; the seamen have been
raised to the rank of lieutenants ; and all the cabin-boys and powder-
monkeys promoted to be midshipmen.
A Difficult Calling.
Pleasure at Pleasure Gardens. T „ ,i . .i a? c . j.i j„
It may be all very well to say that the office of a tax-gatherer neeas
no great ability for the fulfilment of its duties, but there is no employ-
ment which requires such constant application.
Between a man who goes up in a balloon to come down in a para<
chute, and any one who resorts to see him, there is this difference, that
the former risks his neck, and the latter does not. As the one,
however, is accessary to the other's suicide in case that other should
get killed, it may well be questioned whether the law ought not to
place the spectator in equal peril with the aeronaut.
The Silistrian Operation.—As the Russian soldier tastes so
much of the stick, it is no wonder that he should take the first oppor-
tunity of cutting it.