39
PRUSSIA'S VACILLATION EXPLAINED.
(in a scene from the unfinished drama op the russian
gentleman.)
Scene—Sans Souci. The Royal Study.
Enter King Clicquot and Two Councillors following.
Clicq. We are fatigued, discussion's drought hath dried
Our tongue and brain ; and Draught, Drought's antidote,
In both our natural humour must restore.
Without!—some wine there ho !
Enter Page with Champagne.
1st Coun. Hey presto '.—faith, ] ,
Right promptly served. j
2nd Coun. The butler hath, I wot, \ aside
To make no lengthy voyage to the cellar. J
Clicq. Sit, gentlemen, {fills a tumbler) and do as we do.
1st and 2nd Coun. Sire,
We humbly thank your Majesty. [They help themselves.
Clicq. Peace! [Brinks
1st and 2nd Coun. Peace ! [They drink the toast.
Clicq. Pros't!—may the pledge avail the wished-for-end !
For which we strive, as yet, alas ! in vain,
That end what means were safest to pursue ? [Brinks.
1st Coun. If I might hazard speech—
Clicq. Speak freely, man. [Slaps him on the shoulder.
1st Coun. This counsel I would give your Majesty ;
At once with Austria and the Western Powers
Make common cause, and lead the Intellect,
The Science, and the Morals, and the Art
Of Germany against the barbarism
And brutish force of savage Muscovy.
Clicq. Why that's well said—that's well and bravely said— [Brinks.
Extremely well and very properly said,
There is the Physical and Psychical
And there is Russia—that's one element—
And Prussia—that's another element—
Antagonistic forces. [Brinks.
2nd, Coun. Pardon, Sire :
But is it not of Nature found the law
That force should with opposing force combine ?
Acid with alkali; and oxygen
Or chlorine with a metal: positive
With negative in electricity ?
Clicq. That's true o' the other hand—that's also true—
Acid with alkali makes a neutral salt,
And that suggests a neutral policy.
'Sides, talk o' chemical affinity, [Brinks.
Rec'lect that Nic'las ish my bruz-in-law.
1st Cozen. Yet let your Majesty this truth perpend,
Light is the opposite to darkness, s il1,
Light doth the shades of darkness chase away ;
Then champion Fatherland's enlightenment
Against the advance of Russia's night.
Clicq. 1 will!
I '11 be sha champions of our Eazerland.
Russia shall not eclipsh sha Human Mind
Dashif&heshall!
I '11 give in my adhesion to sh' allies,
And Prussia shall march in she van o' Eu-
-pean shivilishash'n. [Brinks.
2nd Coun. Then, Sire, against your august relative,
lour Majesty resolves to draw the sword ?
Clicq. Draw sword against my bruz-in-law!
2nd Coun. _ Against
Your Majesty's near kinsman, and besides,
The great support and prop of monarchy,
On rabid revolution, everywhere,
Enforcing loyal order.
Clicq. No, I won't.
Angel of Peace, you know, he shaysh I am.
I can't, I mush'nt fight my bruz-in-law—
My poor dear bruz-in-law ! [Cries.
2nd Coun. And fighting him your Majesty would fight
Eor Mahomet against the Christian side.
Clicq. Mahomet is the false Prophet, and I won't fight for Ma-
homet. I am a Chrish'n—and I hope to be shaved. I won't take
Mahomet's part—hangfi will! (Brinks.)
1st Coun. But Russia, as your Majesty well knows,
The Greek corrupt religion doth profess,
Not the confession evangelical
Of Martin Luther.
CUcq. Why, that alters sha caseagain (Brinks). Marnluther I
look upon as a Posh'l. Marnluther's sh' only true shysht'm of
theology. True sheology's sha bashish of evshing—seshecks and
evshing elsh! (Brinks).
2nd Coun. What course then doth your Majesty elect ?
Clicq. Lemmy turnitover lmmpnind. Famous doctorhewas ! Doctor
Marnluther. Sing's Docmarhluther's song.
1st and 2nd Coun. What song, an't like your gracious Majesty ?
Clicq. Song Docmarnluther used to sing. You know-
Is/ and 2nd Coun. Full many a goodly song, puissant liege,
Did Doctor Martin Luther use to sing.
Clicq. Ay ; but zshish was a cap'l song. Tsh ! whatamem'ry [ have,
be sure ! " Who lovesh not wine." Thash ish ! (drinks). " Who loves
not wine" (tryingJo sing, breaks down). No—I can't shing! I've qui'
lost myvoice— quilostmyvoice—talkinsmuch 'bout this confound East'n
quest'n. Shall soon have no voice atall left. I'm very tired—essessively
tired—(drinks)—zhentl'm'n helpyaselves an' dowmineme (nods).
1st and 2nd Coun. But, Sire, your answer to the Western Powers.
And Austria ?
Clicq. Talkaboutthattomorra!
[Falls asleep. Councillors raise their hands, turn up their eyes,
and shrug their shoulders ; and the Scene closes.
TO YOUNG MEN ABOUT TO ENTER THE ARMY.
A young gentleman, desirous of a commission in the gallant Light
Peashooters, his anxious parent, before coming down with the money,
put to his ambitious son the following questions :—
Father. And so, Henry, you wish to be a soldier ?
Henry. Such, my beloved parent, is your son's most ardent prayer.
Father. The discipline is very sharp. And, my dear boy, you have
a temper.
Henry. Aware of that infirmity, honoured Sir, I have, I trust, entered
upon a self-examination, followed by a self-mortification that, if I err
not, has at once restrained and strengthened me.
Father. Very good. Can you obey the orders of a superior ?
Henry. Unhesitatingly.
Father. Say, you were an ensign; and in an hour of social converse
over cards, your superior officer were to inflict upon you a name I—
will not mention. How would you receive it ?
Henry. Whatever the name might be, with becoming humility.
Father. Say that, on your manifested desire to discontinue play,
your superior officer should collar you, and drag you about ? What
would you do ?
Henry. With the fullest sense of the vital necessity of discipline, I
should mildly and respectfully remonstrate with him.
Father. Very good. We will suppose that your superior officer is,
in his superiority, deaf to remonstrance. We will even suppose him
superior—much'supprior—in station ami in strength ; and with a proud
sense of such superiority, we will suppose that—there is a candlestick
upon the table—that your superior officer punches you in the face?
What would you take—
Henry. The candlestick, if nothing else, and immediately knock him
down.
Father. Your sentiments, my dear boy, do you honour as a man ;
but they would lead you to inevitable disgrace and rum m the army.
You must therefore g'ive up the thoughts of a Commission m the Light
Peashooters.____
Rational Remonstrance.
Let peaceful Bright in speech delight
That charms the Cotton crew :
Let Cobden rather trade than fight,
For 'tis his business to :
But when our Premier, duped before,
Still trusts to Russian lies.
Such weakness but disgusts John Bull,
And makes his monkey rise.
Not a Serious Man.
A gentleman calling himself Ernest Fitz Roy has been figuring
away in the Homing Post as " Hon. Sec." of the Belgravian " Choral
Defence Committees." Fitz Roy may be authentic enough-but
Ernest ? Oh nonsense ! Fitz Roy is only joking.
Nicholas and the Peacemongers.
Certain people almost as insane as himself, appear to think the
Czar of Russia is desirous of peace. For ourselves, however, we
confess we see but little hope of his burying the hatchet, while he so
vigorously continues to throw it.
PRUSSIA'S VACILLATION EXPLAINED.
(in a scene from the unfinished drama op the russian
gentleman.)
Scene—Sans Souci. The Royal Study.
Enter King Clicquot and Two Councillors following.
Clicq. We are fatigued, discussion's drought hath dried
Our tongue and brain ; and Draught, Drought's antidote,
In both our natural humour must restore.
Without!—some wine there ho !
Enter Page with Champagne.
1st Coun. Hey presto '.—faith, ] ,
Right promptly served. j
2nd Coun. The butler hath, I wot, \ aside
To make no lengthy voyage to the cellar. J
Clicq. Sit, gentlemen, {fills a tumbler) and do as we do.
1st and 2nd Coun. Sire,
We humbly thank your Majesty. [They help themselves.
Clicq. Peace! [Brinks
1st and 2nd Coun. Peace ! [They drink the toast.
Clicq. Pros't!—may the pledge avail the wished-for-end !
For which we strive, as yet, alas ! in vain,
That end what means were safest to pursue ? [Brinks.
1st Coun. If I might hazard speech—
Clicq. Speak freely, man. [Slaps him on the shoulder.
1st Coun. This counsel I would give your Majesty ;
At once with Austria and the Western Powers
Make common cause, and lead the Intellect,
The Science, and the Morals, and the Art
Of Germany against the barbarism
And brutish force of savage Muscovy.
Clicq. Why that's well said—that's well and bravely said— [Brinks.
Extremely well and very properly said,
There is the Physical and Psychical
And there is Russia—that's one element—
And Prussia—that's another element—
Antagonistic forces. [Brinks.
2nd, Coun. Pardon, Sire :
But is it not of Nature found the law
That force should with opposing force combine ?
Acid with alkali; and oxygen
Or chlorine with a metal: positive
With negative in electricity ?
Clicq. That's true o' the other hand—that's also true—
Acid with alkali makes a neutral salt,
And that suggests a neutral policy.
'Sides, talk o' chemical affinity, [Brinks.
Rec'lect that Nic'las ish my bruz-in-law.
1st Cozen. Yet let your Majesty this truth perpend,
Light is the opposite to darkness, s il1,
Light doth the shades of darkness chase away ;
Then champion Fatherland's enlightenment
Against the advance of Russia's night.
Clicq. 1 will!
I '11 be sha champions of our Eazerland.
Russia shall not eclipsh sha Human Mind
Dashif&heshall!
I '11 give in my adhesion to sh' allies,
And Prussia shall march in she van o' Eu-
-pean shivilishash'n. [Brinks.
2nd Coun. Then, Sire, against your august relative,
lour Majesty resolves to draw the sword ?
Clicq. Draw sword against my bruz-in-law!
2nd Coun. _ Against
Your Majesty's near kinsman, and besides,
The great support and prop of monarchy,
On rabid revolution, everywhere,
Enforcing loyal order.
Clicq. No, I won't.
Angel of Peace, you know, he shaysh I am.
I can't, I mush'nt fight my bruz-in-law—
My poor dear bruz-in-law ! [Cries.
2nd Coun. And fighting him your Majesty would fight
Eor Mahomet against the Christian side.
Clicq. Mahomet is the false Prophet, and I won't fight for Ma-
homet. I am a Chrish'n—and I hope to be shaved. I won't take
Mahomet's part—hangfi will! (Brinks.)
1st Coun. But Russia, as your Majesty well knows,
The Greek corrupt religion doth profess,
Not the confession evangelical
Of Martin Luther.
CUcq. Why, that alters sha caseagain (Brinks). Marnluther I
look upon as a Posh'l. Marnluther's sh' only true shysht'm of
theology. True sheology's sha bashish of evshing—seshecks and
evshing elsh! (Brinks).
2nd Coun. What course then doth your Majesty elect ?
Clicq. Lemmy turnitover lmmpnind. Famous doctorhewas ! Doctor
Marnluther. Sing's Docmarhluther's song.
1st and 2nd Coun. What song, an't like your gracious Majesty ?
Clicq. Song Docmarnluther used to sing. You know-
Is/ and 2nd Coun. Full many a goodly song, puissant liege,
Did Doctor Martin Luther use to sing.
Clicq. Ay ; but zshish was a cap'l song. Tsh ! whatamem'ry [ have,
be sure ! " Who lovesh not wine." Thash ish ! (drinks). " Who loves
not wine" (tryingJo sing, breaks down). No—I can't shing! I've qui'
lost myvoice— quilostmyvoice—talkinsmuch 'bout this confound East'n
quest'n. Shall soon have no voice atall left. I'm very tired—essessively
tired—(drinks)—zhentl'm'n helpyaselves an' dowmineme (nods).
1st and 2nd Coun. But, Sire, your answer to the Western Powers.
And Austria ?
Clicq. Talkaboutthattomorra!
[Falls asleep. Councillors raise their hands, turn up their eyes,
and shrug their shoulders ; and the Scene closes.
TO YOUNG MEN ABOUT TO ENTER THE ARMY.
A young gentleman, desirous of a commission in the gallant Light
Peashooters, his anxious parent, before coming down with the money,
put to his ambitious son the following questions :—
Father. And so, Henry, you wish to be a soldier ?
Henry. Such, my beloved parent, is your son's most ardent prayer.
Father. The discipline is very sharp. And, my dear boy, you have
a temper.
Henry. Aware of that infirmity, honoured Sir, I have, I trust, entered
upon a self-examination, followed by a self-mortification that, if I err
not, has at once restrained and strengthened me.
Father. Very good. Can you obey the orders of a superior ?
Henry. Unhesitatingly.
Father. Say, you were an ensign; and in an hour of social converse
over cards, your superior officer were to inflict upon you a name I—
will not mention. How would you receive it ?
Henry. Whatever the name might be, with becoming humility.
Father. Say that, on your manifested desire to discontinue play,
your superior officer should collar you, and drag you about ? What
would you do ?
Henry. With the fullest sense of the vital necessity of discipline, I
should mildly and respectfully remonstrate with him.
Father. Very good. We will suppose that your superior officer is,
in his superiority, deaf to remonstrance. We will even suppose him
superior—much'supprior—in station ami in strength ; and with a proud
sense of such superiority, we will suppose that—there is a candlestick
upon the table—that your superior officer punches you in the face?
What would you take—
Henry. The candlestick, if nothing else, and immediately knock him
down.
Father. Your sentiments, my dear boy, do you honour as a man ;
but they would lead you to inevitable disgrace and rum m the army.
You must therefore g'ive up the thoughts of a Commission m the Light
Peashooters.____
Rational Remonstrance.
Let peaceful Bright in speech delight
That charms the Cotton crew :
Let Cobden rather trade than fight,
For 'tis his business to :
But when our Premier, duped before,
Still trusts to Russian lies.
Such weakness but disgusts John Bull,
And makes his monkey rise.
Not a Serious Man.
A gentleman calling himself Ernest Fitz Roy has been figuring
away in the Homing Post as " Hon. Sec." of the Belgravian " Choral
Defence Committees." Fitz Roy may be authentic enough-but
Ernest ? Oh nonsense ! Fitz Roy is only joking.
Nicholas and the Peacemongers.
Certain people almost as insane as himself, appear to think the
Czar of Russia is desirous of peace. For ourselves, however, we
confess we see but little hope of his burying the hatchet, while he so
vigorously continues to throw it.