DOI issue:
July to December, 1854
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16614#0119
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. H.l
with refractory priests : affairs of your newly-created province : regu-
lations of suffragans and minor clergy : writing articles for the Dublin
Review: and reports to that august foreign Court and Sovereign, greatest
of all Courts, Sovereign of all Sovereigns, of which, and under whom you
are yourself a most distinguished and ornamental Prince and Dignitary—
I say it is exceedingly kind of one so illustrious and so busy to think
about us outside Britons at all, and offer to help, us in our emergency.
I had read in my favourite Journal, The Record, a brief report of " Car-
dinal Wiseman's Lecture on the Home Education of the Poor," but
waited until Sunday and my still greater favourite, the Tablet, arrived,
with the authentic report of the Lecture. Here is the Journal before
me which speaks out like a man for its own part, and saying, " We have
often thought that even to a limited philosophical point of view the
Index of Prohibited Books, of all other Catholic Institutions the one
scorned and hated by Protestants, is one that commends itself most highly
to the calm view of Reason" Here is the Tablet and the report of the
Cardinal's Lectures. May I venture to make a respectful tonsure in
the columns ?—
" His Eminence confined himself chiefly to the general topic of the want of a suitable
popular literature, reserving for his next lecture the consideration of the modes by
which it might be supplied. It seems most important, said His Eminence, that the
public, especially those interested in the education of the people, should know what is
at present the literature which awaits the rural population on leaving school. In
Erance this has been done, and it may be useful to know the results of the inquiry.
For several hundred years the population of France was supplied with a cheap lite-
rature by the well-known system of Colportage, by means of which some eight or nine
millions of small volumes and pamphlets were circulated amongst the people. But in
1852 a decree was issued by the Minister of the. Police appointing a commission to ex-
amine, all books sold by licensed hawkers, who were in future not to be allowed to
circulate any without the Government Stamp of approbation. This very interesting
report of the Commission has this year been published, from which it appears that of
the books that had been examined three-fourths had been condemned.....If I
were in a position of political influence (said His Eminence) I should most strongly urge
upon the legislature the importance of appointing a Committee of Inquiry into this matter."
Of course you would. You would do as they do at Rome. We have
read about expugnandos, comburendos, expurgandos, and the old pro-
cesses; which commend themselves, as our friend the Tablet says,
" most highly to the calm view of reason." And if you were in a
position of political influence, we know, dear Eminence, that you would,
keep your promise.
But you see you are not in a position of political influence. We don't
want to go down on our knees, as they do at Pome. To kiss your
hand is not to us the source of the slightest comfort. Gentlemen who
choose to do so are welcome ; but it appears from the Census church
returns that you and your followers are but, as two hundred thousand,
to the ten millions of the unrotnan English. Cijadband has as large
a flock as you have; who, had he his will, would no doubt smash
the windows of your mass-houses, break your images, and bonnet your
Eminence on your big hat. We give hospitality to Chadband and
Wiseman. Why not to other religionists ? Our exemplary allv, who
has stopped the Colporteurs, has stopped Punch too in his dominions.
Can it be that if your Eminence were in a position of political influence
you would go so far? Heaven help,us ! I fear yes. We should have
a certain shop in St. Bride's shut up if that "political influence " could
but be managed : and " calm reason " could but get its own way. You
would no more let us in than in Pome, where you have political influence,
you let the Thirty-nine Articles pass the Porta del Popolo! Fancy
your Eminence's faith and practice restored among us, and we should
see, not only Erancis Moore, Physician, against whose poor old alma-
nacs you are wrath, but Charles James (now James of London), and
Mr. Punch walking out of the city, and across the fines patrice, like
I ityrus and Melib.eus !
political establishments (I have heard of Da. Newman in the pulpit
making admirable fun of the former); that you are free to publish your
tracts, apologues, homilies, and sell them where and at what price you
please, is it not a little premature in your eminent Lordship to
quarrel with other folks for doing exactly what you do ? Were you in
a station of " political influence " I do not say. of course you would
gag every man of us according to the Roman mode ; but meanwhile,
why should we have a censorship for our press ? on account of the
hostility to our received institutions of any writer or party of writers
living among us ? Upon my honour and conscience I do not believe
there is any party in England so opposed to our views of right, moralss
politics, as the party of which you are the head. And you are let to
speak, to sneer, insinuate, deny, assert exactly what you please. Say a
Mormonite Gospel is an absurd and monstrous dupery in my eyes : so
I believe is a winking statue. But the man who advocates either is
welcome to publish his belief in this country, where the mischief is met
not by persecution, but by free discussion, and where Joe Smith's
disciples (decently attired) have as good a right to a sea-baptism as
Dr. Newman to wear a hair-shirt or Eather Ignatius to shave his
head. How did you win those two gentlemen over to your side ? By
free discussion. How is the conversion of all England to come about,
and the day when we shall all be down on our marrowbones in the
street when your Eminence walks it ? By more free discussion, more
books, more preaching, more pamphlets, more cuts at the Established
Church, and what not. We can't have that commission of inquiry as
yet in your own particular interest; otherwise your shop would be shut,
as well as other peoples', and your preachers would be as mum as the
Madiai. In our field the wholesome literature and the bad, the tares
and the wheat, must grow up together, and, saving your Eminent
presence, that is very likely the reason why some of the rubbish,
stamped with the tiara and cross keys, and guaranteed with a "permissu
Superiorum," is allowed to pass current in the country. Mischievous
works forsooth ! pernicious literature ! degraded superstitions ! absurd
Almanacs ! 0 most eminent Lord! Don't you think for absurdity, for
superstition, for mischief and folly, there are books published by your
own people that can equal Ebancis Moore, the Radical press, the
Penny .Novelist, or your obedient humble servant,
PURSUIT OE KNOWLEDGE UNDER DIFEICULTIES.
The Morning Post, describing a recent fire in Sackville Street, says
"The conflagration was caused by a candlestick setting fire to the fur-
niture while reading in bed." We cannot quite make out, from this
statement, whether it was the candlestick or the furniture that was
reading in bed, but in either case great impiudence was manifested.
If the candlestick was the offender, it ought to have known better,
having had so much experience of fire, but for the furniture to be
reading in bed was most unpardonable. What was the particular
article of furniture that, was thus unseasonably devoting itself to litera-
ture we are not told. Perhaps it was the Sofa, studying its own history
in Cowper's Task; or the Old Arm-chair, reading its praises by Miss
Cook ; or it might have been an earnest-minded dining table desirous
to turn over other leaves than its own. But be the culprit what it may,
we hope the example will not be followed, as we are sure it is as painful
to the Morning Post to describe such things as to us to read of them.
THE TYRANNY OE FURNITURE.
It is a folly to suppose, when a man amasses a quantity of furniture,
that it belongs to him. On the contrary, it is he who belongs to his fur-
niture ! He is bound hand and foot by it—he is tied by the leg to his
own mahogany! He cannot move anywhere without dragging his fur-
niture after him—he cannot go abroad without previously finding a
home for his furniture ; he cannot be absent for any time without first
taking every precaution that, his furniture will be properly provided for
in his absence. If he projects any little trip, the thought that always
stops him at the door, is, " Whatever shall I do with my furniture ? "
Many a man who boasts of his freedom is the secret slave of his furni-
ture. No man can call himself perfectly free who, whatever he does,
or wherever he goes, has always to carry in his mind so many chairs
and tables !
Conscience Money for Intemperance.
The Chancellor oe the Exchequer has to acknowledge the
receipt of 5s. from " D. D., for amount of penalty due by reason of
excess in port." Also of £91 5s., from "Bibo, money owing to
Government for the state in which he has gone to lied every night for
the last year." Likewise of 15s. from " Three Jolly Postboys
oonsiuerrng that jour religion is not ours, but exists here on tole- Drinking at the Carlton, for fine incurred after dinner at theii
ration; that your journals take their fill in abusing our Church and i Club on Sunday."
with refractory priests : affairs of your newly-created province : regu-
lations of suffragans and minor clergy : writing articles for the Dublin
Review: and reports to that august foreign Court and Sovereign, greatest
of all Courts, Sovereign of all Sovereigns, of which, and under whom you
are yourself a most distinguished and ornamental Prince and Dignitary—
I say it is exceedingly kind of one so illustrious and so busy to think
about us outside Britons at all, and offer to help, us in our emergency.
I had read in my favourite Journal, The Record, a brief report of " Car-
dinal Wiseman's Lecture on the Home Education of the Poor," but
waited until Sunday and my still greater favourite, the Tablet, arrived,
with the authentic report of the Lecture. Here is the Journal before
me which speaks out like a man for its own part, and saying, " We have
often thought that even to a limited philosophical point of view the
Index of Prohibited Books, of all other Catholic Institutions the one
scorned and hated by Protestants, is one that commends itself most highly
to the calm view of Reason" Here is the Tablet and the report of the
Cardinal's Lectures. May I venture to make a respectful tonsure in
the columns ?—
" His Eminence confined himself chiefly to the general topic of the want of a suitable
popular literature, reserving for his next lecture the consideration of the modes by
which it might be supplied. It seems most important, said His Eminence, that the
public, especially those interested in the education of the people, should know what is
at present the literature which awaits the rural population on leaving school. In
Erance this has been done, and it may be useful to know the results of the inquiry.
For several hundred years the population of France was supplied with a cheap lite-
rature by the well-known system of Colportage, by means of which some eight or nine
millions of small volumes and pamphlets were circulated amongst the people. But in
1852 a decree was issued by the Minister of the. Police appointing a commission to ex-
amine, all books sold by licensed hawkers, who were in future not to be allowed to
circulate any without the Government Stamp of approbation. This very interesting
report of the Commission has this year been published, from which it appears that of
the books that had been examined three-fourths had been condemned.....If I
were in a position of political influence (said His Eminence) I should most strongly urge
upon the legislature the importance of appointing a Committee of Inquiry into this matter."
Of course you would. You would do as they do at Rome. We have
read about expugnandos, comburendos, expurgandos, and the old pro-
cesses; which commend themselves, as our friend the Tablet says,
" most highly to the calm view of reason." And if you were in a
position of political influence, we know, dear Eminence, that you would,
keep your promise.
But you see you are not in a position of political influence. We don't
want to go down on our knees, as they do at Pome. To kiss your
hand is not to us the source of the slightest comfort. Gentlemen who
choose to do so are welcome ; but it appears from the Census church
returns that you and your followers are but, as two hundred thousand,
to the ten millions of the unrotnan English. Cijadband has as large
a flock as you have; who, had he his will, would no doubt smash
the windows of your mass-houses, break your images, and bonnet your
Eminence on your big hat. We give hospitality to Chadband and
Wiseman. Why not to other religionists ? Our exemplary allv, who
has stopped the Colporteurs, has stopped Punch too in his dominions.
Can it be that if your Eminence were in a position of political influence
you would go so far? Heaven help,us ! I fear yes. We should have
a certain shop in St. Bride's shut up if that "political influence " could
but be managed : and " calm reason " could but get its own way. You
would no more let us in than in Pome, where you have political influence,
you let the Thirty-nine Articles pass the Porta del Popolo! Fancy
your Eminence's faith and practice restored among us, and we should
see, not only Erancis Moore, Physician, against whose poor old alma-
nacs you are wrath, but Charles James (now James of London), and
Mr. Punch walking out of the city, and across the fines patrice, like
I ityrus and Melib.eus !
political establishments (I have heard of Da. Newman in the pulpit
making admirable fun of the former); that you are free to publish your
tracts, apologues, homilies, and sell them where and at what price you
please, is it not a little premature in your eminent Lordship to
quarrel with other folks for doing exactly what you do ? Were you in
a station of " political influence " I do not say. of course you would
gag every man of us according to the Roman mode ; but meanwhile,
why should we have a censorship for our press ? on account of the
hostility to our received institutions of any writer or party of writers
living among us ? Upon my honour and conscience I do not believe
there is any party in England so opposed to our views of right, moralss
politics, as the party of which you are the head. And you are let to
speak, to sneer, insinuate, deny, assert exactly what you please. Say a
Mormonite Gospel is an absurd and monstrous dupery in my eyes : so
I believe is a winking statue. But the man who advocates either is
welcome to publish his belief in this country, where the mischief is met
not by persecution, but by free discussion, and where Joe Smith's
disciples (decently attired) have as good a right to a sea-baptism as
Dr. Newman to wear a hair-shirt or Eather Ignatius to shave his
head. How did you win those two gentlemen over to your side ? By
free discussion. How is the conversion of all England to come about,
and the day when we shall all be down on our marrowbones in the
street when your Eminence walks it ? By more free discussion, more
books, more preaching, more pamphlets, more cuts at the Established
Church, and what not. We can't have that commission of inquiry as
yet in your own particular interest; otherwise your shop would be shut,
as well as other peoples', and your preachers would be as mum as the
Madiai. In our field the wholesome literature and the bad, the tares
and the wheat, must grow up together, and, saving your Eminent
presence, that is very likely the reason why some of the rubbish,
stamped with the tiara and cross keys, and guaranteed with a "permissu
Superiorum," is allowed to pass current in the country. Mischievous
works forsooth ! pernicious literature ! degraded superstitions ! absurd
Almanacs ! 0 most eminent Lord! Don't you think for absurdity, for
superstition, for mischief and folly, there are books published by your
own people that can equal Ebancis Moore, the Radical press, the
Penny .Novelist, or your obedient humble servant,
PURSUIT OE KNOWLEDGE UNDER DIFEICULTIES.
The Morning Post, describing a recent fire in Sackville Street, says
"The conflagration was caused by a candlestick setting fire to the fur-
niture while reading in bed." We cannot quite make out, from this
statement, whether it was the candlestick or the furniture that was
reading in bed, but in either case great impiudence was manifested.
If the candlestick was the offender, it ought to have known better,
having had so much experience of fire, but for the furniture to be
reading in bed was most unpardonable. What was the particular
article of furniture that, was thus unseasonably devoting itself to litera-
ture we are not told. Perhaps it was the Sofa, studying its own history
in Cowper's Task; or the Old Arm-chair, reading its praises by Miss
Cook ; or it might have been an earnest-minded dining table desirous
to turn over other leaves than its own. But be the culprit what it may,
we hope the example will not be followed, as we are sure it is as painful
to the Morning Post to describe such things as to us to read of them.
THE TYRANNY OE FURNITURE.
It is a folly to suppose, when a man amasses a quantity of furniture,
that it belongs to him. On the contrary, it is he who belongs to his fur-
niture ! He is bound hand and foot by it—he is tied by the leg to his
own mahogany! He cannot move anywhere without dragging his fur-
niture after him—he cannot go abroad without previously finding a
home for his furniture ; he cannot be absent for any time without first
taking every precaution that, his furniture will be properly provided for
in his absence. If he projects any little trip, the thought that always
stops him at the door, is, " Whatever shall I do with my furniture ? "
Many a man who boasts of his freedom is the secret slave of his furni-
ture. No man can call himself perfectly free who, whatever he does,
or wherever he goes, has always to carry in his mind so many chairs
and tables !
Conscience Money for Intemperance.
The Chancellor oe the Exchequer has to acknowledge the
receipt of 5s. from " D. D., for amount of penalty due by reason of
excess in port." Also of £91 5s., from "Bibo, money owing to
Government for the state in which he has gone to lied every night for
the last year." Likewise of 15s. from " Three Jolly Postboys
oonsiuerrng that jour religion is not ours, but exists here on tole- Drinking at the Carlton, for fine incurred after dinner at theii
ration; that your journals take their fill in abusing our Church and i Club on Sunday."