DOI issue:
July to December, 1854
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16614#0260
25.2 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE THEATRE OF WAR.
A PRIVATE BOX FOR ENGLAND'S DEAR BOYS BEFORE SEBASTOPOL !
THE GREAT DEBATE NUISANCE.
We confess we did not like the aspect of the Times on the morning
after the assembling: of Parliament. It is bad enough for the country
lo be at war with Russia, but it is an aggravation of the evil to find
an attack made upon our patience by thirty-nine columns drawn up in
close order before us, at our very breakfast table. Finding it hopeless
to stand against such an overwhelming display of heavy and misty
material, such a massive charge of lead and smoke, we retired at once
under the shelter of a light column of advertisements.
We must really request Lord Palmerston to show his impartiality
by calling on the Houses of Parliament to consume their own smoke,
just as he would deal with any other factory; and thus he might put
an end to the noxious trade of speech-making. We can assure his
Lordship, that with so much Parliamentary smoke before us at our
breakfast, we always suffer from the vapours. We do not. see any
great difficulty to be overcome in this case, for surely, when we find
honourable members sometimes ready to eat their own words, they
would not hesitate to consume their own smoke, or in some way get
rid of the disagreeable result of their own speeches.
The Scotch Sunday Cab.
The following touching incident is narrated in the Caledonian
Mercury:—
" While a cab was conveying an infirm lady to church yesterday morning the driver
was heartily hissed by a number of passeugers in one of the leading thoroughfares of
the uew town."
An infirm woman on her way to church hissed! Oh, Scotch piety !
is not thy symbol a goose ?
women at the electric telegraph.
It is found that women make the best clerks for the Electric Te'e-
rraph. Very rarely, indeed, are they at fault. The only difficulty is,
A POCKET LAVATER.
In the account of a sanguinary miscreant given by a contemporary,
we are informed that—
" The desperate character of the assassin may be gathered from the fullowing list of
articles found upon him:—A pair of pistols (the barrels about six inches long)
24 cartridges, some percussion caps, a dagger, having a blade nine inches in length,
8 Ad. in money, and a corkscrew."
The first four of the above items, certainly, indicate that the gentle
man on whose person they were found was a ruffian of some determi-
nation. That his character was of a desperate nature is strongly
suggested by the pistols, the cartridges, the percussion caps, and the
dagger. But it does not appear quite so plainly that his desperate
character could in any measure be gathered from his possession of
eightpence-halfpenny in money, unless it could be proved that the
sum he had in his pocket was all he had in the world. The cork-
screw would rather intimate that this was not the case: as it is an
implement which a person only worth eightpence-halfpenny would be
likely to have no occasion for. Perhaps, however, the preachers of
total abstinence will consiaer that anybody must be in a desperate state
who carries a corkscrew.
Blood of the Grape.
In a sick soldier's letter from Scutari, he writes—that he has had,
among other comforts, " a gill of port wine every day, which has some-
what pulled me up, after the quantity of blood I left at Balaklava."
We understand that the Temperance people are about to assemble at
Exeter Hall; calling the attention of the Government to the fact; and
further expressing their confidence in the Ministry, so long as the
soldiers being debarred of wine, the war shall be carried on at home
through the usual pump.
division of labour.
It is calculated that if every well-to-do lady would only make and
to prevent each young lady at either end of the line from having the I subscribe owe flannel shirt for the men wintering in the Crimea, that
fast word. the men will, on their part, be able to make a capital shift.
THE THEATRE OF WAR.
A PRIVATE BOX FOR ENGLAND'S DEAR BOYS BEFORE SEBASTOPOL !
THE GREAT DEBATE NUISANCE.
We confess we did not like the aspect of the Times on the morning
after the assembling: of Parliament. It is bad enough for the country
lo be at war with Russia, but it is an aggravation of the evil to find
an attack made upon our patience by thirty-nine columns drawn up in
close order before us, at our very breakfast table. Finding it hopeless
to stand against such an overwhelming display of heavy and misty
material, such a massive charge of lead and smoke, we retired at once
under the shelter of a light column of advertisements.
We must really request Lord Palmerston to show his impartiality
by calling on the Houses of Parliament to consume their own smoke,
just as he would deal with any other factory; and thus he might put
an end to the noxious trade of speech-making. We can assure his
Lordship, that with so much Parliamentary smoke before us at our
breakfast, we always suffer from the vapours. We do not. see any
great difficulty to be overcome in this case, for surely, when we find
honourable members sometimes ready to eat their own words, they
would not hesitate to consume their own smoke, or in some way get
rid of the disagreeable result of their own speeches.
The Scotch Sunday Cab.
The following touching incident is narrated in the Caledonian
Mercury:—
" While a cab was conveying an infirm lady to church yesterday morning the driver
was heartily hissed by a number of passeugers in one of the leading thoroughfares of
the uew town."
An infirm woman on her way to church hissed! Oh, Scotch piety !
is not thy symbol a goose ?
women at the electric telegraph.
It is found that women make the best clerks for the Electric Te'e-
rraph. Very rarely, indeed, are they at fault. The only difficulty is,
A POCKET LAVATER.
In the account of a sanguinary miscreant given by a contemporary,
we are informed that—
" The desperate character of the assassin may be gathered from the fullowing list of
articles found upon him:—A pair of pistols (the barrels about six inches long)
24 cartridges, some percussion caps, a dagger, having a blade nine inches in length,
8 Ad. in money, and a corkscrew."
The first four of the above items, certainly, indicate that the gentle
man on whose person they were found was a ruffian of some determi-
nation. That his character was of a desperate nature is strongly
suggested by the pistols, the cartridges, the percussion caps, and the
dagger. But it does not appear quite so plainly that his desperate
character could in any measure be gathered from his possession of
eightpence-halfpenny in money, unless it could be proved that the
sum he had in his pocket was all he had in the world. The cork-
screw would rather intimate that this was not the case: as it is an
implement which a person only worth eightpence-halfpenny would be
likely to have no occasion for. Perhaps, however, the preachers of
total abstinence will consiaer that anybody must be in a desperate state
who carries a corkscrew.
Blood of the Grape.
In a sick soldier's letter from Scutari, he writes—that he has had,
among other comforts, " a gill of port wine every day, which has some-
what pulled me up, after the quantity of blood I left at Balaklava."
We understand that the Temperance people are about to assemble at
Exeter Hall; calling the attention of the Government to the fact; and
further expressing their confidence in the Ministry, so long as the
soldiers being debarred of wine, the war shall be carried on at home
through the usual pump.
division of labour.
It is calculated that if every well-to-do lady would only make and
to prevent each young lady at either end of the line from having the I subscribe owe flannel shirt for the men wintering in the Crimea, that
fast word. the men will, on their part, be able to make a capital shift.