DOI issue:
July 21, 1855
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0042
30
PUNCH, OR THE LOSDON CHARIVARI.
[July 21, 1S55.
ROEBUCK'S CALL.
a]R—" Young Agnes"
Young Roebuck, Sheffield's flower-
Resolved r,o have his say—
Proposed the House's pi>wer
To test, some early day.
But M.P's. had sought the shade
Of country seat, bower, and hall,
And didn't like being made
To come to town again at all.
And so with all their power
Resolved not to hear his call,
Ca—a—a—all— .
Resolved not to hear his call.
JOHN THOMAS, THE BELGRAVIAN FLUNKEY, AS HE APPEARED WHILE THE
MOB WERE BREAKING HIS MISSESSES WINDOWS.
The Right Nail on the Head.
It is said that the whole of tbe property of
Sir John Dean Paul is to be brought to the
hammer. This will be but a poor consolatl n
to the numerous ninnyhammers who were con-
tent to entrust their means to the hands of those
who have made such an improper use of it.
a question joe the city.
Why does the Thames, at the turn of the
tide, remind one of a common saying\—Because
it is slow and sewer.
{From a maniac, rendered one by the state of
the river:)
A Superficial Philosopher.—Electro-PLATO.
RABELAIS IN THE CRIMEA.
How Rabelais, after leaving the Great Bridlegoose, got into mixed
Company, and learnt doubtful Ideas on Things sacred.
T left the Great Bridlegoose, who had taught me so many wonders,
and, as it were by magic, found myself in a mixture of quiet homely
people, a small dash of thieves who did charge vigorously, and a large
number of land-lobsters in their native blue coats, the which did never-
theless require the main turned on to keep them in fitting disorder.
These same did use their claws (in the curious shape of clubs) most
artificially against weak women, children, or quiet people, and did with
most judicious inefficience leave pickpockets and prizefighters to their
own fortunes. These same did swear, talk vilely, run under barriers
when they could not jump them, look valiant in numbers, and ride on
cabs that they could not drive. And these lobsters, mark you, did it
not out of their own head or out of malice prepense (as the learned in
the law do say), but because the great Animal of the two Ears bad an
idea that people cannot meet together, without swallowing bis own
lobsters, his measures being, like his wit, a forgotten question, seeing
that he who understandeth nothing of what he is talking about, knoweth
lit * le and teacheth less, and that be who runs away from the great
beast Public, scarcely meets it fairly.
And this was all because the great, Animal of the two Ears could only
give ear to one side of a question^ He was tolerably kind, especially to
those who let him have his own way, and was much pitied and regretted
by those who saw that thistles must ever be the food of those who
prefer them to figs, and who think turning a place of harmless recreation
into a bear-garden, the best worship of Him whom all adore.
And others did say that certain places called Claves, Anglice Clubs,
did remain open for the benefit of big sinners, grown on a rich soil,
while the public-houses for the middle or lower people were kept shut,
even as the temple of Janus when 1 here were no Sabbatarians to keep
it open. Some did say that those who worked all six days deserved the
chance of a dinner on the seventh, and that those who are paid at eight
or mne_o'clock on Saturday nights have ill chance of a good market:
some did say that a Lord whose own goo?e has been cooked, and whose
horse can be driven on the seventh as well as any other day, should
abstain from meddling with smaller birds or their dinners. Others did
say, that Mayne force was not the best way of influencing the feelings
of peaceable people, who only wanted to prevent certain animals braying
too loud, and spoiling the privileges of their own Common.
And I did see many strange things, tbe like of which I hope I may
not see ere the Palace of Sound is crumbled into tbe brains of its own
speakers.
1 did see a very mighty ass on horseback, the like of which I never
saw before.
I saw about a couple of dozen, of baker's dozen, of raw lobsters, the
which did ply their claws as aforesaid.
I saw a child trampled on, and a small woman knocked down—the
which I was told were merely a sample.
I saw Lord G——'s common sense walking in company with Chaos
along a Rotten Row.
I saw several thousand skinned eels, who nevertheless could keep a
coat on their backs, against which, beiDg defenceless, the aforesaid
lobsters did use their claws.
I saw some broken heads, the which I was told did much for Sunday
morality.
I heard several lobsters use some of the uncleanest language I never
wish to hear, which conduceth to ditto.
I also saw, among other strange impossibilities, seven ounces of
Government Common Sense. So small was the amount, that I lot
sight of it in trying the hunt after some Sabbatarian Christianity.
[ came to the understanding, that if all men of the public were not
fools, some of their rulers were.
I also learnt that Cant is not Beligion.
And I learnt all the lobster slang, blackguardism, abuse, and brutality,
that the wits of the Great Talking Shop had provided for the enter-
tainments of their own peculiar Sabbath, and much 1 got by it.
PUNCH AND THE POST.
Although an enormous increase in the circulation of Punch has
resulted from the increased facilities for the conveyance of this cele-
brated publication in the British Islands, a serious inconvenience will
be inflicted upon Mr. Punch by tbe obstacles which, by the new postal
regulations, will be offered to the transmission of his famous periodical
to the colonies. He will be subjected to the annoyance of having to
put a penny stamp upon each of bis numbers, besides the stamp of his
stamped edition, in order to send it to any British colony whatever,
except Canada. To go thither it must be loaded with two postage
stamps! That is, it must pay threepence, unless it goes by a conveyance
wholly British ; in which case the exaction is a penny less, and the
transference occupies six weeks. Now Mr. Punch does not think small
beer of himself, perhaps, but that is the opinion which may possibly be
entertained of him by those who get his journal in the condition of the
beverage alluded to when that has been drawn for more than a
calendar month. Apropos of that fluid, the Newspaper Postage Act,
which facilitates the home whilst it embarrasses the colonial postage of
newspapers, may be described as a half-and-half measure.
PUNCH, OR THE LOSDON CHARIVARI.
[July 21, 1S55.
ROEBUCK'S CALL.
a]R—" Young Agnes"
Young Roebuck, Sheffield's flower-
Resolved r,o have his say—
Proposed the House's pi>wer
To test, some early day.
But M.P's. had sought the shade
Of country seat, bower, and hall,
And didn't like being made
To come to town again at all.
And so with all their power
Resolved not to hear his call,
Ca—a—a—all— .
Resolved not to hear his call.
JOHN THOMAS, THE BELGRAVIAN FLUNKEY, AS HE APPEARED WHILE THE
MOB WERE BREAKING HIS MISSESSES WINDOWS.
The Right Nail on the Head.
It is said that the whole of tbe property of
Sir John Dean Paul is to be brought to the
hammer. This will be but a poor consolatl n
to the numerous ninnyhammers who were con-
tent to entrust their means to the hands of those
who have made such an improper use of it.
a question joe the city.
Why does the Thames, at the turn of the
tide, remind one of a common saying\—Because
it is slow and sewer.
{From a maniac, rendered one by the state of
the river:)
A Superficial Philosopher.—Electro-PLATO.
RABELAIS IN THE CRIMEA.
How Rabelais, after leaving the Great Bridlegoose, got into mixed
Company, and learnt doubtful Ideas on Things sacred.
T left the Great Bridlegoose, who had taught me so many wonders,
and, as it were by magic, found myself in a mixture of quiet homely
people, a small dash of thieves who did charge vigorously, and a large
number of land-lobsters in their native blue coats, the which did never-
theless require the main turned on to keep them in fitting disorder.
These same did use their claws (in the curious shape of clubs) most
artificially against weak women, children, or quiet people, and did with
most judicious inefficience leave pickpockets and prizefighters to their
own fortunes. These same did swear, talk vilely, run under barriers
when they could not jump them, look valiant in numbers, and ride on
cabs that they could not drive. And these lobsters, mark you, did it
not out of their own head or out of malice prepense (as the learned in
the law do say), but because the great Animal of the two Ears bad an
idea that people cannot meet together, without swallowing bis own
lobsters, his measures being, like his wit, a forgotten question, seeing
that he who understandeth nothing of what he is talking about, knoweth
lit * le and teacheth less, and that be who runs away from the great
beast Public, scarcely meets it fairly.
And this was all because the great, Animal of the two Ears could only
give ear to one side of a question^ He was tolerably kind, especially to
those who let him have his own way, and was much pitied and regretted
by those who saw that thistles must ever be the food of those who
prefer them to figs, and who think turning a place of harmless recreation
into a bear-garden, the best worship of Him whom all adore.
And others did say that certain places called Claves, Anglice Clubs,
did remain open for the benefit of big sinners, grown on a rich soil,
while the public-houses for the middle or lower people were kept shut,
even as the temple of Janus when 1 here were no Sabbatarians to keep
it open. Some did say that those who worked all six days deserved the
chance of a dinner on the seventh, and that those who are paid at eight
or mne_o'clock on Saturday nights have ill chance of a good market:
some did say that a Lord whose own goo?e has been cooked, and whose
horse can be driven on the seventh as well as any other day, should
abstain from meddling with smaller birds or their dinners. Others did
say, that Mayne force was not the best way of influencing the feelings
of peaceable people, who only wanted to prevent certain animals braying
too loud, and spoiling the privileges of their own Common.
And I did see many strange things, tbe like of which I hope I may
not see ere the Palace of Sound is crumbled into tbe brains of its own
speakers.
1 did see a very mighty ass on horseback, the like of which I never
saw before.
I saw about a couple of dozen, of baker's dozen, of raw lobsters, the
which did ply their claws as aforesaid.
I saw a child trampled on, and a small woman knocked down—the
which I was told were merely a sample.
I saw Lord G——'s common sense walking in company with Chaos
along a Rotten Row.
I saw several thousand skinned eels, who nevertheless could keep a
coat on their backs, against which, beiDg defenceless, the aforesaid
lobsters did use their claws.
I saw some broken heads, the which I was told did much for Sunday
morality.
I heard several lobsters use some of the uncleanest language I never
wish to hear, which conduceth to ditto.
I also saw, among other strange impossibilities, seven ounces of
Government Common Sense. So small was the amount, that I lot
sight of it in trying the hunt after some Sabbatarian Christianity.
[ came to the understanding, that if all men of the public were not
fools, some of their rulers were.
I also learnt that Cant is not Beligion.
And I learnt all the lobster slang, blackguardism, abuse, and brutality,
that the wits of the Great Talking Shop had provided for the enter-
tainments of their own peculiar Sabbath, and much 1 got by it.
PUNCH AND THE POST.
Although an enormous increase in the circulation of Punch has
resulted from the increased facilities for the conveyance of this cele-
brated publication in the British Islands, a serious inconvenience will
be inflicted upon Mr. Punch by tbe obstacles which, by the new postal
regulations, will be offered to the transmission of his famous periodical
to the colonies. He will be subjected to the annoyance of having to
put a penny stamp upon each of bis numbers, besides the stamp of his
stamped edition, in order to send it to any British colony whatever,
except Canada. To go thither it must be loaded with two postage
stamps! That is, it must pay threepence, unless it goes by a conveyance
wholly British ; in which case the exaction is a penny less, and the
transference occupies six weeks. Now Mr. Punch does not think small
beer of himself, perhaps, but that is the opinion which may possibly be
entertained of him by those who get his journal in the condition of the
beverage alluded to when that has been drawn for more than a
calendar month. Apropos of that fluid, the Newspaper Postage Act,
which facilitates the home whilst it embarrasses the colonial postage of
newspapers, may be described as a half-and-half measure.