Punch (29.1855)

50

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI,

[August 4, 1855.

A SONG OF SUMMER.

by a solicitor.

I sing of summer the delights,
Its cloudless days, its balmy nights :
The time when Sol his fiercest burns,
And the Assizes' heat returns.

Now by the side of placid brook
The angler plies his sharpest hook ;
J3ut they in Court for fees who dangle,
Show more acuteness in their angle.

Now, too, with hand all quick for catches,
At Lord's the cricketer plays matches ;
But when a Lord's in Chancery caught,
There's more excitement in the sport.

'Tis sweet in summer-time to hear
The skylark singing, loud and clear :
Yet sweeter 'tis the charge to state,
" Attending hearing—Six-and-eiglit"

'Tis sweet to contemplate the play
Of schoolboys making holiday ; _
But sweeter far the contemplation
Of the approaching Long Yacation !

A Narrow Escape,

It is very lucky that Messrs. Strahan,
Paul, and Co., at the time of their breaking,
did not hold "the Balance of Europe," or else
Principalities by the dozen might have been
PUNCH'S ILLUSTRATIONS TO SHAKSPEARE. j reduced to so many States of Insolvency, and

many a German Kingdom would have had to
Oh, the Recorders—" Hamlet. Act iii., Scene 2. I part probably with its last Sovei f ign.

LE DTABLE A PARTS.

The Parisians have taken to a new amusement. We learn from our
contemporary, the Atlas, that "the forgotten doctrines of the school of
Alexandria, especially the pursuit after forbidden knowledge and com-
munication with the Powers of Darkness, have, for the last two years,
been objects of study among the doctors and savans of Paris. Results
have been obtained, which have caused indescribable terror." It seems
too, that the Archbishop of Paris, who, in order to frighten people
into religion, lent himself to these researches, has managed to frighten
himself in the most remarkable manner, and cannot sleep without one
chaplain under the bed, and another on the mat outside the door,
besides holy water in all the jugs, washhand basins, and caraffes. These
experiments go on, "not in the garret of the deluded alchemist, but in
the gorgeous saloons of the aristocracy."

The seance diaholique must be a refreshing change from the humdrum
of an ordinary ball or party. Fashionable invitation cards, we under-
stand, have in the corner, instead of "Quadrilles," the word "Diables."
The drawing-room tables are no longer covered with Books of Beauty
and Scenery of the Rhine, but with little square mediaeval works on
Magic, tastefully bound in flame-coloured silk, or in green scales. The
pretty girl to whom you have been introduced, asks you whether you
have seen that lovely likeness of Demogorgon, and is enchanted with
the infernal verses you have written in Mrs. Spiritrap's Album, and
a late arrival apologises, and hopes he has not kept the Incantation
waiting. Elixirs and witch-potions are handed round by the servants,
instead of lemonade and negus, and your hostess, in lieu of asking you
to take, a hand at whist, begs you to hold a Hand of Glory. The music
of Der Freischiitz has come up again, with that of Robert le Liable, to
the exclusion of Italian languishment and spasm, and you are desired
to prevail upon your wife to oblige the party with that delightful
" Screech du Demon." or you are told that you really must take part,
in "Blow, sulphur gales, and on your wing, our long expected Old 'Un
bring." The domestic servants, who are always nuisances, are the
greatest trouble to people who give this kind of thing, as they object to
the bore of fetching in bats' eyes and owls' ears, and babies' fingers and
tigers' chaudrons, and the other things wanted for the evening's amuse-
ments, besides getting so stupidly frightened as to be always knocking
down the skeletons and magic mirrors, and spilling the witch-broth up
the stairs. A boy in buttons actually gave warning, lately, sooner than
allow himself to be punctured in the arm, though there was no more
" baboon's blood" in the house, all through his own carelessness. But
science has always had to contend with vulgar prejudice.

We hardly think, despite the story about "results," "indescribable

terror," and the scared Archbishop, that much has been done beyond
making some unpleasant smells, and spoiling some expensive carpets,,
but we have instructed a correspondent to report, should any further
success be obtained. The aristocracy of the salons of Paris contrived,
towards the end of last century, to raise a fiend they could never lay
again, but their posterity is luckily made of other stuff. Meantime
Louis Napoleon seems a greater conjuror than all of them, for while
they only give run-away knocks at the door of the Prince of the Air;
the'emperor, by a slight tax on his ingenuity and his subjects, at once-
raises the Wind. _

DIRTY OLD FATHER THAMES.

We wonder that poor old Father Thames can remain quiet in his bed,,
which is literally swarming with everything that is disagreeable, and
likely to disturb his repose. Those who sleep in garrets have had a
taste of the inconvenience arising from cats in a lively condition, but
this is nothing when compared with the disgusting consequences_ of
having feline and canine carcases in every stage of decomposition
pitched into one's bed at all hours of the day, as well as the night.
Father Thames may be said to lead, literally, a cat and dog life, and
though it is an old saying that "as your bed is made so you must lie,"'
there is no reason why the river should not have its bed made a little-
more decently; or at least protected from being used as the receptacle
for all the filth of the metropolis. We should not be surprised to find
poor old Father Thames some morning" dead in his bed," for it is a
bed in which anything like wholesome existence cannot much longer be
maintained. _

A Good Price for Washing.

We see that no less than £1800 a-year have been given to the
President and Secretary of the National Gallery. This is the largest
sum on record ever given, we should say, for washing. We would not
mind taking in a few of the Old Masters ourselves, and washing and
doing for ihem upon similar terms. In fact, we should not care making-
a slight reduction, as the Old Masters would take less trouble washing
now, since so many of them have lost their coats.

railway news.

There is an old lady who says, that she always likes to travel by a.
trunk line, because then she feels confidence about the safety of her
luggage.