DOI issue:
August 4, 1855
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0063
August 4, 1855.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
51
TOBACCO !N THE CHURCH.
Y Lord Normanby has prevailed
upon the magnanimous Grand Duke
of Tuscany to take his royal canine
paw from the miserable mouse,
Cecchetti, the small animal having
aroused the ire of the legal brute by
daring to read the Bible to his own
family. The malignant Bible-reader
was sentenced to long imprisonment:
UNPATRIOTIC CLUBS.
It appears that there are certain Benefit Clubs, particularly about
West Somersetshire, of which the members forfeit all the advantages
by enlistment into Her Majesty's service. What these Societies call
themselves we do not know, but can conceive various titles whereby
they might be designated. The United Cravens, the Incorporated
Sneaks, the Disloyal Lodge of Shabby Fellows, are a few of these. We
forbear to mention more, in the hope that a rule so disgraceful to any
association of Englishmen, will, in the present hour of need, be expunged,
5 on the publication of this notice, before many minutes shall have been
hut Lord Normanby prevailed, an
d ; added to that hour. Every Benefit Club should be a Society of Friends ;
Cecchetti was doomed to body's but the society might be friendly without bejng drab. A late Act of
banishment from sunny Tuscany; a ' Parliament forbids the enforcement of this contemptible proviso in the
land of beauty with a government of ',ne case .°f Militiamen and the Naval Coast Guard Volunteers. Could
beast. The exile makes his way to ! not Parliament extend that enactment to the Line and the whoi'e Navy,
Turin; and there again he is sue- by way of doing some little good before it separates ?
coured by an Englishman, Mr.
Ersktne, our Charge d'Affaires, who
prevails upon the Piedmontese govern-
ment—ever glad to please the English
—to give Cecchetti employment in
one of the royal Tobacco manufactories.
Oddly enough, in the history of the weed, has Tobacco been associated
with the Bible. Smitten for reading the book, Cecchetti's hurts are
healed by the odorous leaf. In the early days of Virginia, Tobacco
was the wages of working Christianity; the parson was paid with
bird's-eye and nigger-head. The minister christened, married, and
POLES TO POKE THE RUSSIANS.
The Examiner advocates the formation of a Polish legion, especially
for the assault of Sebastopol: so do we. The garrison of that place is
composed in a large measure of Poles, who can have no great affection
for the service they are engaged in, and may be called negative Poles.
Our Polish legion, burning with hatred against the enslavers of their
race, furious in the recollection of Russian cruelty, outrage, and wrong,
would come under the denomination of positive Poles. Negative and
burieYfor fees, duty regulated, ol Tobacco/ Happy couples were,'after I positive, positive and negative Poles, would mutually attract one
this fashion, tied together by pig-tail; and the torch of Hymen was all i another, as the case is in ordinary magnetism : and if we stirred up the
smoke. " :Tis observed," says Beverley, in his History of Vhginia, Russians with these Poles, no doubt we should meet with foes who
"that those counties where the Presbyterian meetings are, produce would strike beside us.
very mean Tobacco ; and, for that reason, can't get an orthodox minister I
to stav among them." Thus, in Virginia, it might be said, show me .
your Wo and I'll tell you your Bishop. Meat' Drmk' and Manure.
A good, serviceable parson received for annual maintenance 16,0001b. We send missionaries to reclaim the cannibals from eating human
of good Tobacco : the difference of remuneration was, of course, in the flesh : to which end the best means would be to endow the savages, if
quality of the weed. For instance, a Virginian Bishop of Oxford— possible, with the understanding and the affections necessary to enable
if we may suppose such a costly exotic—would have the very finest and them to comprehend and practise what they are taught: the next best,
most fragrant Tobacco : whereas a Virginian Exeter might take his i if also possible, to work a few physical miracles, which would convert
salary in good strong returns. I these anthropophagous natives by astonishing them. Practically, per-
For two hundred pounds of the weed, a man and woman might be ] haps, the best method of bringing them over to beef and mutton would
made matrimonially one ; and man or woman buried at precisely double j be to give a mission for that purpose to M. Soyer. But why do we
the cost. "That Tobacco should lay a man decently in the grave ! Ex {talk of converting cannibals ? There is something even worse that man
fumo dare lucem !
Thus, it will be seen, that Tobacco has in its time been a strange
working agent in the Church. And now a poor Tuscan Christian,
punished for his devotion to the Bible, is rewarded in this life by
Tobacco. We hear that—at the suggestion of our waggish Charge
d'Affaires at Turin—Cecchetti has sent a screw of biro's-eye t.o the
Duke oe Tuscany, with this inscription,— " May it please your Ducal
Higuness, to condescend to put that in your pipe and smoke it! "
may swallow than other men's mere flesh—There is the Thames !
A Chance for Knightsbridge.
The subjoined appears in the papers :—
" The Monitort Toscano states that the Pope has resolved to appoint an Italian
Bishop to ' the now vacant see of Constantinople.' "
Unless an Italian be indispensable for the post,—may Mr. Punch
suggest that His Holiness should promote and appoint the Rev. Mr.
AN EPISTOLARY VEGETABLE. Liddell, of St, Paul's, Knightsbridge ?
a built-up joke.
Somebody has written to the Times a letter, very much to the pur-
pose, quoting a correspondence from Pliny's letters between Pliny ,
and Trajan, respecting the closing in of a nominal river, but real. .Our own Correspondent informs us, that; the firing before Sebastopol
sewer, which was promptly ordered by the Emperor at the suggestion I « not always most effective, is at all events bold and vigorous ; for every
of % Philosopher: of whom both appear to have been "the rightJ ™an stands up to his mortar like a brick.
men in the right places." Who, however, could have been the author --
of this communication?—for the signature thereto appended is "One a -w^jsp^xi to bores
to whom the Thames is Meat aud Drink." Now to what created .. , . . , . , '. , . ,. , ..
being can the Thames afford proper nourishment, liquid and solid, but . B9«ES, sh°uld b~ ^nient enough to bear in mmd this truth:—that it
one belonging to the vegetable kingdom? The Thames may be meat iswi'bthe Fire of Conversation as with any other fire—little Sticks
and drink to cabbage, but it would be poison to tailors, and is certainly | kindle it, great Sticks put it out.
not less deleterious to the rest of the human race.
Sink-we Scento. I him aK the ^ood in the worlcL
After five years the Thames is to receive no sewage.' —Sir B. Hall. -
Go to Bath.—We recommend Old Father Thames to try the Cold
Water Cure, as there is but little doubt that a good washing would do
In shorter time, kind Sir, contrive Mr. Punch is glad that the people who had their windows broken, a
To purify our drink ;
Fo'- while your figure is a Five,
Our river is a Cinq.
Neapolitan Frogs.
The Kino of Naples, a great stranger in his own capital—can
Naples have a better recommendation ?—went there on the occasion of
the late fete. Whereupon certain animals exclaimed—" Long live our
absolute king!" When the king of the frogs took his subjects by
mouthfulls, even the frogs (but then they were not Neapolitan) did not,
according to JEsop, croak—" Long live our absolute stork! "
few Sundays ago, are proceeding to sue the Hundred, as this shows
their conviction that the Million had nothing to do with the disgraceful
business. _
It is to be hoped that, Lord John Russell obtained no refreshmen
out of lawful hours on his return from Vienna, as it is quite clear that
upon that occasion he was anything but a bond fide traveller.
Domestic and Political Economy Combined.—Mr. Briefless
says, " It is with politics as with your linen,—any sudden change v
dangerous."
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
51
TOBACCO !N THE CHURCH.
Y Lord Normanby has prevailed
upon the magnanimous Grand Duke
of Tuscany to take his royal canine
paw from the miserable mouse,
Cecchetti, the small animal having
aroused the ire of the legal brute by
daring to read the Bible to his own
family. The malignant Bible-reader
was sentenced to long imprisonment:
UNPATRIOTIC CLUBS.
It appears that there are certain Benefit Clubs, particularly about
West Somersetshire, of which the members forfeit all the advantages
by enlistment into Her Majesty's service. What these Societies call
themselves we do not know, but can conceive various titles whereby
they might be designated. The United Cravens, the Incorporated
Sneaks, the Disloyal Lodge of Shabby Fellows, are a few of these. We
forbear to mention more, in the hope that a rule so disgraceful to any
association of Englishmen, will, in the present hour of need, be expunged,
5 on the publication of this notice, before many minutes shall have been
hut Lord Normanby prevailed, an
d ; added to that hour. Every Benefit Club should be a Society of Friends ;
Cecchetti was doomed to body's but the society might be friendly without bejng drab. A late Act of
banishment from sunny Tuscany; a ' Parliament forbids the enforcement of this contemptible proviso in the
land of beauty with a government of ',ne case .°f Militiamen and the Naval Coast Guard Volunteers. Could
beast. The exile makes his way to ! not Parliament extend that enactment to the Line and the whoi'e Navy,
Turin; and there again he is sue- by way of doing some little good before it separates ?
coured by an Englishman, Mr.
Ersktne, our Charge d'Affaires, who
prevails upon the Piedmontese govern-
ment—ever glad to please the English
—to give Cecchetti employment in
one of the royal Tobacco manufactories.
Oddly enough, in the history of the weed, has Tobacco been associated
with the Bible. Smitten for reading the book, Cecchetti's hurts are
healed by the odorous leaf. In the early days of Virginia, Tobacco
was the wages of working Christianity; the parson was paid with
bird's-eye and nigger-head. The minister christened, married, and
POLES TO POKE THE RUSSIANS.
The Examiner advocates the formation of a Polish legion, especially
for the assault of Sebastopol: so do we. The garrison of that place is
composed in a large measure of Poles, who can have no great affection
for the service they are engaged in, and may be called negative Poles.
Our Polish legion, burning with hatred against the enslavers of their
race, furious in the recollection of Russian cruelty, outrage, and wrong,
would come under the denomination of positive Poles. Negative and
burieYfor fees, duty regulated, ol Tobacco/ Happy couples were,'after I positive, positive and negative Poles, would mutually attract one
this fashion, tied together by pig-tail; and the torch of Hymen was all i another, as the case is in ordinary magnetism : and if we stirred up the
smoke. " :Tis observed," says Beverley, in his History of Vhginia, Russians with these Poles, no doubt we should meet with foes who
"that those counties where the Presbyterian meetings are, produce would strike beside us.
very mean Tobacco ; and, for that reason, can't get an orthodox minister I
to stav among them." Thus, in Virginia, it might be said, show me .
your Wo and I'll tell you your Bishop. Meat' Drmk' and Manure.
A good, serviceable parson received for annual maintenance 16,0001b. We send missionaries to reclaim the cannibals from eating human
of good Tobacco : the difference of remuneration was, of course, in the flesh : to which end the best means would be to endow the savages, if
quality of the weed. For instance, a Virginian Bishop of Oxford— possible, with the understanding and the affections necessary to enable
if we may suppose such a costly exotic—would have the very finest and them to comprehend and practise what they are taught: the next best,
most fragrant Tobacco : whereas a Virginian Exeter might take his i if also possible, to work a few physical miracles, which would convert
salary in good strong returns. I these anthropophagous natives by astonishing them. Practically, per-
For two hundred pounds of the weed, a man and woman might be ] haps, the best method of bringing them over to beef and mutton would
made matrimonially one ; and man or woman buried at precisely double j be to give a mission for that purpose to M. Soyer. But why do we
the cost. "That Tobacco should lay a man decently in the grave ! Ex {talk of converting cannibals ? There is something even worse that man
fumo dare lucem !
Thus, it will be seen, that Tobacco has in its time been a strange
working agent in the Church. And now a poor Tuscan Christian,
punished for his devotion to the Bible, is rewarded in this life by
Tobacco. We hear that—at the suggestion of our waggish Charge
d'Affaires at Turin—Cecchetti has sent a screw of biro's-eye t.o the
Duke oe Tuscany, with this inscription,— " May it please your Ducal
Higuness, to condescend to put that in your pipe and smoke it! "
may swallow than other men's mere flesh—There is the Thames !
A Chance for Knightsbridge.
The subjoined appears in the papers :—
" The Monitort Toscano states that the Pope has resolved to appoint an Italian
Bishop to ' the now vacant see of Constantinople.' "
Unless an Italian be indispensable for the post,—may Mr. Punch
suggest that His Holiness should promote and appoint the Rev. Mr.
AN EPISTOLARY VEGETABLE. Liddell, of St, Paul's, Knightsbridge ?
a built-up joke.
Somebody has written to the Times a letter, very much to the pur-
pose, quoting a correspondence from Pliny's letters between Pliny ,
and Trajan, respecting the closing in of a nominal river, but real. .Our own Correspondent informs us, that; the firing before Sebastopol
sewer, which was promptly ordered by the Emperor at the suggestion I « not always most effective, is at all events bold and vigorous ; for every
of % Philosopher: of whom both appear to have been "the rightJ ™an stands up to his mortar like a brick.
men in the right places." Who, however, could have been the author --
of this communication?—for the signature thereto appended is "One a -w^jsp^xi to bores
to whom the Thames is Meat aud Drink." Now to what created .. , . . , . , '. , . ,. , ..
being can the Thames afford proper nourishment, liquid and solid, but . B9«ES, sh°uld b~ ^nient enough to bear in mmd this truth:—that it
one belonging to the vegetable kingdom? The Thames may be meat iswi'bthe Fire of Conversation as with any other fire—little Sticks
and drink to cabbage, but it would be poison to tailors, and is certainly | kindle it, great Sticks put it out.
not less deleterious to the rest of the human race.
Sink-we Scento. I him aK the ^ood in the worlcL
After five years the Thames is to receive no sewage.' —Sir B. Hall. -
Go to Bath.—We recommend Old Father Thames to try the Cold
Water Cure, as there is but little doubt that a good washing would do
In shorter time, kind Sir, contrive Mr. Punch is glad that the people who had their windows broken, a
To purify our drink ;
Fo'- while your figure is a Five,
Our river is a Cinq.
Neapolitan Frogs.
The Kino of Naples, a great stranger in his own capital—can
Naples have a better recommendation ?—went there on the occasion of
the late fete. Whereupon certain animals exclaimed—" Long live our
absolute king!" When the king of the frogs took his subjects by
mouthfulls, even the frogs (but then they were not Neapolitan) did not,
according to JEsop, croak—" Long live our absolute stork! "
few Sundays ago, are proceeding to sue the Hundred, as this shows
their conviction that the Million had nothing to do with the disgraceful
business. _
It is to be hoped that, Lord John Russell obtained no refreshmen
out of lawful hours on his return from Vienna, as it is quite clear that
upon that occasion he was anything but a bond fide traveller.
Domestic and Political Economy Combined.—Mr. Briefless
says, " It is with politics as with your linen,—any sudden change v
dangerous."