DOI issue:
August 4, 1855
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0064
52
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 4, 1855.
CARMEN PACIFICUM.
a 19ccTtte Jfniig.
Gladstone, and Gkaham and Sidney,
Gladstone, and Graham and Sidney,
Declare that this War
Has become quite a bore
To men of their peaceable kidney.
Says Gladstone, our Jesuit layman,
Says Gladstone, our Jesuit layman,
England's wrong, Russia's right,
And we've no call to fight,
Except that of the wicked highwayman.
Says Graham, that veteran schemer,
Says Graham, that veteran schemer.
We should beat a retreat,
We should call back our fleet,
Nor leave out there a single war-steamer.
Says Sidney, that graceful young hero,
Says Sidney, that graceful young hero,
TheRnssfor the Turk
Is but doing the work
We have done for each Indian Ameer, 0.
Say these three jovial Peelttes in chorus,
Say these three jovial Peelites in chorus,
When the War first broke out
It was all right, no doubt,
For we made it quite mild and decorous :
But the People are calling for vigour,
But the People are calling for vigour,
And of all ills the sternest,
Is a War made in earnest,
So Peace at all Price is our figure.
AQUATICS.
Flora. "Well, bdt Tommy! Do too think you can row both of us?"
Tommy (who fancies himself a perfect Athlete in high condition). "Row you! Why
just you look HERE, HERE 's a BlCEPS MUSCLE for you ! "
Fashionable Announcement.
Me. Punch has been requested by Loud Robert
Grosvenor to state, that the fete champeire he had half-in-
tended to give to his friends who, on recent Sundays, met
so very numerously in his honour in Hyde Park, is for the
present postponed. Due notice will be made of the festival.
Precedence given to the maimed and bruised. Voucheis
required for broken heads.
A DEJEUNER A L'EAU.
We have heard of dancing teas, and other absurdities, but the most
eccentric meal that lias yet fallen under our notice, is a breakfast in the
water, which has heen advertised by the Maidstone Swimming Club.
The announcement of this wishy-washy entertainment concludes by the
intimation that "every member wdl be required to partake of the
repast in the river." We presume that several pounds of tea will be
thro < n into the water, with, a sufficient quantity of sugar, while a
supply of cream will be allowed to run over the surface, and the process
of " stirring " will of course be effected by the members themselves,
who will act as their own spoons. The ham will have to be cut in
VauxhaU slices, so that, in the act of swimming, a morsel may be adroitly
snapped at, and a few hard-boiled eggs will be thrown in for the satis-
faction of those whose appetites take an oval turn. We fear that the
dry toast will be none the better for being soaked in the river, and as
to the bread and butter, it will be necessary to give particular directions
that the butter side shall be kept upwards, in order to prevent the whole
from being converted into a soppv sloppy mess, which no amount of
hunger would be able to relish. We cannot help feeling that a break-
fast in the water, will be very much like a dinner in nubibus, or a
supper taken at a castle in the air. For ourselves we can only say
t hat we would rather starve for twenty-four hours than adopt sucli an
uncomfortable method of fishing for a meal.
Co-loanial Device.
A financial writer, who appears to have only partially considered his
subject with reference to the law of meum and tuum, suggests that
" the gold of Australia ought to be used in reduction of our national
debt." This ingenioui plan for obtaining an advance is certainly the
newest reading of the colonial motto, " Advance, Australia."
Flattery.—The Pope assures Bomba, that he is "the best of tyrants."
THE LORD MAYOR IN DANGER.
A proposition was made the other day at a Court of Aldermen"
" that the Lord Mayor should take the usual view of the River
Thames." Considering that the river savours of everything that is
disagreeable, we must say, that the proposal savours of cruelty. Besides
it is quite superfluous to take any fresh view of +he Thames, for the
" usual view " now taken of it is that it is a filthy and disgusting
nuisance, which can't be got rid of too speedily. We are happy to
find that the suggestion, which really looks like a piece of spite against
the poor Lord Mayor, was at once negatived. Had the " view" been
resolved upon, a sum of £700 was to have been allowed for expenses,
though we confess we do not see what exoense could legitimately arise
unless it had been for Eau de Cologne, Sal Volatile, and other restora-
tives that might have been necessary to "correct" the obnoxious
odours arising from the river. Perhaps a portion of the £700 might
have been put aside for additional insurances on the Lord Mayor's
life, which would have been jeopardised had he been compelled to take
his own private view of the river.
Up with your Copper.
In their admirable petition to Her Majesty, the English Engravers
(complaining of the systematic insults of the Royal Academy) say, that
they " look upon the art of engraving as fikin tothe art of translation."
This is a delicate compliment to the English dramatists, especially from
the steel engravers, who gracefully refuse to make a difference between
what is steel and what is stolen.
a natural request.
The "Fibre Company" has, it seems, been canvassing certain
parties of the House of Lords for support. It is only natural that those
who would make paper should apply to reputations that have gone to
rags.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 4, 1855.
CARMEN PACIFICUM.
a 19ccTtte Jfniig.
Gladstone, and Gkaham and Sidney,
Gladstone, and Graham and Sidney,
Declare that this War
Has become quite a bore
To men of their peaceable kidney.
Says Gladstone, our Jesuit layman,
Says Gladstone, our Jesuit layman,
England's wrong, Russia's right,
And we've no call to fight,
Except that of the wicked highwayman.
Says Graham, that veteran schemer,
Says Graham, that veteran schemer.
We should beat a retreat,
We should call back our fleet,
Nor leave out there a single war-steamer.
Says Sidney, that graceful young hero,
Says Sidney, that graceful young hero,
TheRnssfor the Turk
Is but doing the work
We have done for each Indian Ameer, 0.
Say these three jovial Peelttes in chorus,
Say these three jovial Peelites in chorus,
When the War first broke out
It was all right, no doubt,
For we made it quite mild and decorous :
But the People are calling for vigour,
But the People are calling for vigour,
And of all ills the sternest,
Is a War made in earnest,
So Peace at all Price is our figure.
AQUATICS.
Flora. "Well, bdt Tommy! Do too think you can row both of us?"
Tommy (who fancies himself a perfect Athlete in high condition). "Row you! Why
just you look HERE, HERE 's a BlCEPS MUSCLE for you ! "
Fashionable Announcement.
Me. Punch has been requested by Loud Robert
Grosvenor to state, that the fete champeire he had half-in-
tended to give to his friends who, on recent Sundays, met
so very numerously in his honour in Hyde Park, is for the
present postponed. Due notice will be made of the festival.
Precedence given to the maimed and bruised. Voucheis
required for broken heads.
A DEJEUNER A L'EAU.
We have heard of dancing teas, and other absurdities, but the most
eccentric meal that lias yet fallen under our notice, is a breakfast in the
water, which has heen advertised by the Maidstone Swimming Club.
The announcement of this wishy-washy entertainment concludes by the
intimation that "every member wdl be required to partake of the
repast in the river." We presume that several pounds of tea will be
thro < n into the water, with, a sufficient quantity of sugar, while a
supply of cream will be allowed to run over the surface, and the process
of " stirring " will of course be effected by the members themselves,
who will act as their own spoons. The ham will have to be cut in
VauxhaU slices, so that, in the act of swimming, a morsel may be adroitly
snapped at, and a few hard-boiled eggs will be thrown in for the satis-
faction of those whose appetites take an oval turn. We fear that the
dry toast will be none the better for being soaked in the river, and as
to the bread and butter, it will be necessary to give particular directions
that the butter side shall be kept upwards, in order to prevent the whole
from being converted into a soppv sloppy mess, which no amount of
hunger would be able to relish. We cannot help feeling that a break-
fast in the water, will be very much like a dinner in nubibus, or a
supper taken at a castle in the air. For ourselves we can only say
t hat we would rather starve for twenty-four hours than adopt sucli an
uncomfortable method of fishing for a meal.
Co-loanial Device.
A financial writer, who appears to have only partially considered his
subject with reference to the law of meum and tuum, suggests that
" the gold of Australia ought to be used in reduction of our national
debt." This ingenioui plan for obtaining an advance is certainly the
newest reading of the colonial motto, " Advance, Australia."
Flattery.—The Pope assures Bomba, that he is "the best of tyrants."
THE LORD MAYOR IN DANGER.
A proposition was made the other day at a Court of Aldermen"
" that the Lord Mayor should take the usual view of the River
Thames." Considering that the river savours of everything that is
disagreeable, we must say, that the proposal savours of cruelty. Besides
it is quite superfluous to take any fresh view of +he Thames, for the
" usual view " now taken of it is that it is a filthy and disgusting
nuisance, which can't be got rid of too speedily. We are happy to
find that the suggestion, which really looks like a piece of spite against
the poor Lord Mayor, was at once negatived. Had the " view" been
resolved upon, a sum of £700 was to have been allowed for expenses,
though we confess we do not see what exoense could legitimately arise
unless it had been for Eau de Cologne, Sal Volatile, and other restora-
tives that might have been necessary to "correct" the obnoxious
odours arising from the river. Perhaps a portion of the £700 might
have been put aside for additional insurances on the Lord Mayor's
life, which would have been jeopardised had he been compelled to take
his own private view of the river.
Up with your Copper.
In their admirable petition to Her Majesty, the English Engravers
(complaining of the systematic insults of the Royal Academy) say, that
they " look upon the art of engraving as fikin tothe art of translation."
This is a delicate compliment to the English dramatists, especially from
the steel engravers, who gracefully refuse to make a difference between
what is steel and what is stolen.
a natural request.
The "Fibre Company" has, it seems, been canvassing certain
parties of the House of Lords for support. It is only natural that those
who would make paper should apply to reputations that have gone to
rags.