DOI issue:
August 11, 1855
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0073
August 11, 1855.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
61
T?n RTT TATTT<5 T?DTf TTTT? WPTvATPl? | on credit, ask sixty per cent over the fair price, and f :en lend them
JNlJNJ^rJbjbJN tORIUJNKfe iUli 1HKLLFL1NLL. j money at a hundred per cent, to pay you not to expose them to their
unch sees that a fellow advertises J ^a^nts" . .... . , _,, . ,.
that for twelve stamps he will send t( J0OW m tals moral> civilised, and Christian count V, none of these
a circular enabling a person to earn mneteen means of earning an income" are unlawful, and most of
an income in "nineteen respect- them are m the highest degree "respectable," and lead their followers
able ways-" one of which is pro- to honour and emolument. Mr. Punch submits that in suggesting them,
bably, the obtaining stamps by ne has honourably earned his threepence,
means of such promises as the
advertiser's. One of these hum- ~ "
bugs, having secured the stamps
he demands, writes to his dupes , GERMAN ARMOUR; OR, MAIL AND FEMALE,
that they may earn a respectable m „ . .
living by buying potatoes whole- \ *f German warrior was, of yore, array d m fashion grim,
sale, roasting them, and selling A dragon on his helm he wore, an iron suit clad him;
them about the streets by retail,; I1'8 °onnet no,w of straw should be, with ribbons for a crest;
and this too may be another of the Tn Sllk or muslin> ^p-a-jne, our Teuton should be drest.
nineteen ways in question Mr., For corslet in a corset ghould hig bosom nQW be
Punch desirous to undersell the Thereto a satin sash were d for irdle t his i t>
party, hereby offers to apprise the H al for a stout mail gMrt shoufd wear n M cb'emi
■nnnhn nt nmptppTi wave at pfunmo1 . n n • i «,i n 1 n - , i i ,n
And flowing robe with flounce and skirt much lower than the knees
public of nineteen ways of earning
an income, all for the price of three-
pence ; and, in addition, presents
the other invaluable contents of his
current number.
1. Send round a circular, enclosing in an envelope, directed to
yourself, a perforated card, for coin, and urging that the Cburch of
St. Fungus, Diddleton Parva, (population 11,871 souls), is dreadfully
in want of a new cocked-hat for the beadle.
2. Be a stockjobber.
3. Get hold of a piece of ground in a densely populated poor neigh-
bourhood, run up a batch of undrained, unventilated, and unwhole-
some cottages, and let them to needy families at extortionate rents.
4. Organise a Benefit Society, be the treasurer yourself, make your
brother its actuary, your brother-in-law its lawyer, hold its meetings at
your uncle's public-house, puff it in your father-in-law's newspaper, and
when you have got a good haul of deposits, let your cousin take you
through the Insolvent Court.
5. Go into the House of Commons as an " independent" member,
and transfer your allegiance in return for a good place.
6. Open a private bank, and convert your customers' money and
securities to your own use—only get your passport before you suspend
payment.
7. Set up a jeweller's shop, and "warrant" electrotype articles to
Gauntlets of iron let him leave for kid gloves, and prefer
The silken stocking to the greave, the sandals to the spur :
The arbalest past ages saw the stalwart German pull;
The modern Berliner should draw the thread of Berlin wool.
For now the German's is the case of maiden or of wife,
His post is not in honour's place, he holds aloof from strife.
He owes protection, like a wench, unto the stronger hand,
And leaves the English and the French to fight for Fatherland.
Break, enervated Prussian, break the needle from thy gun;
To needlework that needle take, and let thy work be done;
Whilst to defend thee from Cossacks the brave Allies advance,
Hem Tricolours and Union-Jacks for England and for France.
PLUSH UNDER SCHEDULE D.
A general meeting of the Livery of the West-end as well as the
City, that is, of the metropolitan domestics in the service of the fashion-
able and pecuniary classes, was held yesterday evening at Jenkins'
Hotel. The meeting was convened in consequence of a letter signed
" Omega." which appeared lately in the Times, proposing to extend the
be standard gold, Here you will need no passport, the little misdes- j Income Tax tQ stewards butlers grooms of the chamber, cooks, upper
cnption not being held to exceed the ordinary licence of commerce. coacume„5 stud-grooms, housekeepers, and culinary persons of the female
8. Enter into business as a baker, and take care that your loaves sex, receiving from £50 to £100 a-year wages, besides lodging, light,
contain the due commercial proportion of ground bones, mashed j fire, and food, and to assess those gentlemen and ladies under schedule D.
potatoes, and alum. The Duke of Pimlico filled the chair very completely in the
9. Become a patron of the manly sport of horse-racing, bet as heavily j person of that nobleman's butler, and in spite of some difficulty of
as you can, receive all that you win, and then discover that the excite-1 speaking attendant on a plethoric state of system, succeeded in ex-
ment of losing compels you to seek the sea-breezes at Boulogne. j plaining the object of the meeting, amid murmurs and cries of " shame !"
10. Another way. Enter horses for races, and study the noble art of \ . The Marquis of Bayswater, represented by one of his Lordship's
" scratching " with due regard to your " book " ■ footmen, rose to move a resolution that the proposed extension ot the
11. Buy a suit of black, get up some conventicle slang, and visit Hincome Tax to gentlemen and ladies in domestic service was a
about at serious widows' nouses as a " dear brother in the ministry," UD3U,3> bimpohtic and ridiclous suggestion. The Noble Lord said he
not over-abounding in "this world's goods," but very partial to hot wod,d stfd by his hqrder. Hignorance of taxation had been their
buttered muffins. Best let the watches and spoons alone, perhaps. privilege time out of mind. It was always inseparable from plush, and
,,,, . , . , , 1 , , j i c he oped it would hever remain so. What is taxes r should ever be
12. Get a dabbler in mechanics to draw up pretended particulars of the d questiori of a gentleman olding the hoffice which he had the
an impossible invention, and do you go about persuading enthusiasts honour to fill. He didn't know, and he didn't want to know, what
rith capital to advance you money to obtain a patent. This device th and ghould resist every attempt t0 give him any information
can, of course, be repeated ad infinitum. ! on that unpleasant subject.
13. Make a pill, paste, or liquor, (better not let it be actively The resolution was seconded by Sir George Tyburn, Baronet,
poisonous,) spend ten thousand pounds in advertising that it cures who derives his family name from the head of the family in which he is
everything, and in ten years retire with a hundred thousand pounds of situated. Sir George dwelt upon the injustice of taxing a part only
the money of fools who have believed you. j 0f the master's wealth and taxing the servants' hall.
14. Be the trustworthy medium between the friends of persons who j A gentleman wearing the denomination, as well as the boots, of
desire public appointments, and people who somehow know persons Montague Bruton, Esq., moved a resolution pledging the assembly
who know parties who know individuals who know the wives of perso- to use its utmost, endeavours to frustrate any attempt on the part of
nages who have the ear of authorities who advise head-quarters. i Government to render the gentlemen and ladies of ladies and gentlemen
15. Take a contract for supplying some branch of the service with \ subject to Income Tax. It would be no ard matter to put a stop
clothes and food, and mind that the clothes are rotten, and the preserved \to any Sltch scheme m case it was started t he legislature was m the
meat to match I ands of valley-de-shams, and it they found any such projick was
16. Sell a five-act Elizabethan play to a theatrical manager. hentertained they would only ave to give warmn' and stand by one
17. Go to the bar, and attack or defend at the bidding of any
scoundrel who can afford to hire you.
18. Import original pictures by the great masters ; but, as you will
another.
Lord Marylebone, a nobleman by the courtesy of _ the cloth,
seconded the resolution. His lordship observed that service was no
ineritance, and the wages that ought to go into the savings' bank
have had them manufactured in your own back premises, you will not, j didn't ought to be grabbed by the Exchequer. They were found in
of course, warrant them to purchasers, but only show a faded pedigree, j food, lodging, &c, but what then? What became of all that, if they
strongly attested, and prepared in the same locality. j got out of place ? While he was on that piut he would say one thing.
19. Sell " unnecessaries of life " to foolish young men at a College,! He did think the case of the Curates would be uncommon ard if thev
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
61
T?n RTT TATTT<5 T?DTf TTTT? WPTvATPl? | on credit, ask sixty per cent over the fair price, and f :en lend them
JNlJNJ^rJbjbJN tORIUJNKfe iUli 1HKLLFL1NLL. j money at a hundred per cent, to pay you not to expose them to their
unch sees that a fellow advertises J ^a^nts" . .... . , _,, . ,.
that for twelve stamps he will send t( J0OW m tals moral> civilised, and Christian count V, none of these
a circular enabling a person to earn mneteen means of earning an income" are unlawful, and most of
an income in "nineteen respect- them are m the highest degree "respectable," and lead their followers
able ways-" one of which is pro- to honour and emolument. Mr. Punch submits that in suggesting them,
bably, the obtaining stamps by ne has honourably earned his threepence,
means of such promises as the
advertiser's. One of these hum- ~ "
bugs, having secured the stamps
he demands, writes to his dupes , GERMAN ARMOUR; OR, MAIL AND FEMALE,
that they may earn a respectable m „ . .
living by buying potatoes whole- \ *f German warrior was, of yore, array d m fashion grim,
sale, roasting them, and selling A dragon on his helm he wore, an iron suit clad him;
them about the streets by retail,; I1'8 °onnet no,w of straw should be, with ribbons for a crest;
and this too may be another of the Tn Sllk or muslin> ^p-a-jne, our Teuton should be drest.
nineteen ways in question Mr., For corslet in a corset ghould hig bosom nQW be
Punch desirous to undersell the Thereto a satin sash were d for irdle t his i t>
party, hereby offers to apprise the H al for a stout mail gMrt shoufd wear n M cb'emi
■nnnhn nt nmptppTi wave at pfunmo1 . n n • i «,i n 1 n - , i i ,n
And flowing robe with flounce and skirt much lower than the knees
public of nineteen ways of earning
an income, all for the price of three-
pence ; and, in addition, presents
the other invaluable contents of his
current number.
1. Send round a circular, enclosing in an envelope, directed to
yourself, a perforated card, for coin, and urging that the Cburch of
St. Fungus, Diddleton Parva, (population 11,871 souls), is dreadfully
in want of a new cocked-hat for the beadle.
2. Be a stockjobber.
3. Get hold of a piece of ground in a densely populated poor neigh-
bourhood, run up a batch of undrained, unventilated, and unwhole-
some cottages, and let them to needy families at extortionate rents.
4. Organise a Benefit Society, be the treasurer yourself, make your
brother its actuary, your brother-in-law its lawyer, hold its meetings at
your uncle's public-house, puff it in your father-in-law's newspaper, and
when you have got a good haul of deposits, let your cousin take you
through the Insolvent Court.
5. Go into the House of Commons as an " independent" member,
and transfer your allegiance in return for a good place.
6. Open a private bank, and convert your customers' money and
securities to your own use—only get your passport before you suspend
payment.
7. Set up a jeweller's shop, and "warrant" electrotype articles to
Gauntlets of iron let him leave for kid gloves, and prefer
The silken stocking to the greave, the sandals to the spur :
The arbalest past ages saw the stalwart German pull;
The modern Berliner should draw the thread of Berlin wool.
For now the German's is the case of maiden or of wife,
His post is not in honour's place, he holds aloof from strife.
He owes protection, like a wench, unto the stronger hand,
And leaves the English and the French to fight for Fatherland.
Break, enervated Prussian, break the needle from thy gun;
To needlework that needle take, and let thy work be done;
Whilst to defend thee from Cossacks the brave Allies advance,
Hem Tricolours and Union-Jacks for England and for France.
PLUSH UNDER SCHEDULE D.
A general meeting of the Livery of the West-end as well as the
City, that is, of the metropolitan domestics in the service of the fashion-
able and pecuniary classes, was held yesterday evening at Jenkins'
Hotel. The meeting was convened in consequence of a letter signed
" Omega." which appeared lately in the Times, proposing to extend the
be standard gold, Here you will need no passport, the little misdes- j Income Tax tQ stewards butlers grooms of the chamber, cooks, upper
cnption not being held to exceed the ordinary licence of commerce. coacume„5 stud-grooms, housekeepers, and culinary persons of the female
8. Enter into business as a baker, and take care that your loaves sex, receiving from £50 to £100 a-year wages, besides lodging, light,
contain the due commercial proportion of ground bones, mashed j fire, and food, and to assess those gentlemen and ladies under schedule D.
potatoes, and alum. The Duke of Pimlico filled the chair very completely in the
9. Become a patron of the manly sport of horse-racing, bet as heavily j person of that nobleman's butler, and in spite of some difficulty of
as you can, receive all that you win, and then discover that the excite-1 speaking attendant on a plethoric state of system, succeeded in ex-
ment of losing compels you to seek the sea-breezes at Boulogne. j plaining the object of the meeting, amid murmurs and cries of " shame !"
10. Another way. Enter horses for races, and study the noble art of \ . The Marquis of Bayswater, represented by one of his Lordship's
" scratching " with due regard to your " book " ■ footmen, rose to move a resolution that the proposed extension ot the
11. Buy a suit of black, get up some conventicle slang, and visit Hincome Tax to gentlemen and ladies in domestic service was a
about at serious widows' nouses as a " dear brother in the ministry," UD3U,3> bimpohtic and ridiclous suggestion. The Noble Lord said he
not over-abounding in "this world's goods," but very partial to hot wod,d stfd by his hqrder. Hignorance of taxation had been their
buttered muffins. Best let the watches and spoons alone, perhaps. privilege time out of mind. It was always inseparable from plush, and
,,,, . , . , , 1 , , j i c he oped it would hever remain so. What is taxes r should ever be
12. Get a dabbler in mechanics to draw up pretended particulars of the d questiori of a gentleman olding the hoffice which he had the
an impossible invention, and do you go about persuading enthusiasts honour to fill. He didn't know, and he didn't want to know, what
rith capital to advance you money to obtain a patent. This device th and ghould resist every attempt t0 give him any information
can, of course, be repeated ad infinitum. ! on that unpleasant subject.
13. Make a pill, paste, or liquor, (better not let it be actively The resolution was seconded by Sir George Tyburn, Baronet,
poisonous,) spend ten thousand pounds in advertising that it cures who derives his family name from the head of the family in which he is
everything, and in ten years retire with a hundred thousand pounds of situated. Sir George dwelt upon the injustice of taxing a part only
the money of fools who have believed you. j 0f the master's wealth and taxing the servants' hall.
14. Be the trustworthy medium between the friends of persons who j A gentleman wearing the denomination, as well as the boots, of
desire public appointments, and people who somehow know persons Montague Bruton, Esq., moved a resolution pledging the assembly
who know parties who know individuals who know the wives of perso- to use its utmost, endeavours to frustrate any attempt on the part of
nages who have the ear of authorities who advise head-quarters. i Government to render the gentlemen and ladies of ladies and gentlemen
15. Take a contract for supplying some branch of the service with \ subject to Income Tax. It would be no ard matter to put a stop
clothes and food, and mind that the clothes are rotten, and the preserved \to any Sltch scheme m case it was started t he legislature was m the
meat to match I ands of valley-de-shams, and it they found any such projick was
16. Sell a five-act Elizabethan play to a theatrical manager. hentertained they would only ave to give warmn' and stand by one
17. Go to the bar, and attack or defend at the bidding of any
scoundrel who can afford to hire you.
18. Import original pictures by the great masters ; but, as you will
another.
Lord Marylebone, a nobleman by the courtesy of _ the cloth,
seconded the resolution. His lordship observed that service was no
ineritance, and the wages that ought to go into the savings' bank
have had them manufactured in your own back premises, you will not, j didn't ought to be grabbed by the Exchequer. They were found in
of course, warrant them to purchasers, but only show a faded pedigree, j food, lodging, &c, but what then? What became of all that, if they
strongly attested, and prepared in the same locality. j got out of place ? While he was on that piut he would say one thing.
19. Sell " unnecessaries of life " to foolish young men at a College,! He did think the case of the Curates would be uncommon ard if thev