Punch (29.1855)

86

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[September 1, 1855.

THE CRICKET ON TEE MORMON'S
HEARTH.

We learn from the New York Herald that tiie
crickets and grasshoppers are devouring up, ana
serve them right, the Mormons of Utah. That
grasshoppers will devour men, nay, whole families
alive, is a fact not to be denied by any one
who will consider the doings of the Gresham
grasshopper at the Stock Exchange. How many
a broker has that grasshopper nibbled to bits-,
singing the while, and Bow bells ringing music
to the feast! In like manner, the Mormons were
chewed up in the Illinois in 1846, devoured
—say the accounts—" by the crickets ; great
goggle-eyed, crook-legged, bottle-bodied mon-
sters." They are more than a match for the
oriental white ant, that in a night will leave the
bones of an elephant as clean as a domino. Most
I appalling are the accounts of the ravages of these
monster crickets on the hearths of the Mormons.
Cradles, with half-a-dozen babies in them at
night, are found empty in the morning. And a
doting and ineompatable husband—the spouse oi
fourteen wives at dewy eve—finds himself seven
times a widower at sunrise. It is said, and we
give the fact as a warning to all about to emigrate
to marry at the Salt Lake, that the crickets have
a preference for wives; carrying half-a-dozen oil
from under one roof, and devouring them to a
music of 'heir Own, and that may be set to the
old words of—" Plenty more where they come
fiom."

Imjcnious Youth. "Oh ! sues a lark, Bill ! I've bin and filled an old Cove's Letter-
box with Gooseberry Skixs and Hoyster Shell,—and rapped like a Postman!"

Old Cove. "Have you

a if

St. Bastinado.—The goverr.ment of Rome
has, in imitation of Naple°, introduced the
bastinado into the Pontifical code. We do not
see why it should not he canonised; for what,
in the Calendar, is one stick more ?

TWO KINGS AND TWO COUNTRIES.

THE FIRST SINGER GOING—BUT NOT GONE.

Eoes in arms, when swords were swaying in the push of battle : Grisi gave us the gratification of singing during the past season at

Toes in arts, when pens were weighing claims with critic prattle : ; the Italiau Opera, because happily her villa at Elorence was not eom-

Foes in trade, at every haven, Jack 'gainst Tricolor; j pletely ready for her— the Glazier having omitted to glaze the windows,

Foes in habits, in the leaven of their lives, all o'er: j or ihe Painter having forgotten to paint the doors. Happily for the

France and England, foes no longer, hand in hand are clasping: | Parisians the same neglect still prevails among the tradesmen of the

For their ancient feud the stronger be that tardy grasping ! Prima donna, for she is announced to sing in Paris during the ensuing

_ . , , , . , , . . , . winter, in consequence, no doubt, of the Upholsterer having failed to

Bells from out a hundred steeples clash their gladsome greeting, put, up the curtains according to contract, and having thus left her free

U hile the chiefs of two great peoples join in friendly meeting. | to' appear before the curtain atraiu. We dare say ihe tradesmen of

Thick within my brain are clustering dim historic fancies Giusi Wlll know how to accommodate their future movements to the

Of our Henry bluff and blustering kissing liquorish Francis ; raste 0f the public an^ if the Queen of Song is required next year at

While the Cardinal, prime mover of those puppets-royal, Covent Garden, nothing will be easier than for the Ironmonger to

By Anne Boleyn s broad-back d lover rears his brow disloyal. f0rget to send home she scraper, or the Btll-hanger to omit to hang the

"What are our shows for the million fo that gorgeous scene, j street-door bell. , „,,ui;„ +n

t ii i i -i- i • ° ,.^1 ■ o Or course it won d be unreasonable to expect a public lavounte to

In the carved and gilt pavilion, on the plain of Guisnes P ! . ■ • umM.mu SZtn^n^2 fn* ho* r0„w;n«

-ni . j i a e ij j e i • . . ' retire until every hinc; is made perfect y comfortable lor ntr reception.

Plate, and cloth of gold and arras,—fountains running wine— t " J ,8 ,, " 7 ,[ £„• ij fl^ollrr i„vM loa™" ,^

n *i 4- i u ' -,i .i • i • i • and it is even possible that it she should have linaUv taken Jeave, ami

Gems that hungry eves embarrass with their changing shine ; Li • -iJU?,luJO 1 " ° u c , . ,J nnm~-<;n a+ .,

-inn i • > .i u, • l j f ii the pipe of the cistern should burst, or the ram Simula come in at a

While amid those blazing splendours-cynosures of all- , Joos£ PJafe in lhe roof she mi?ht be indllCed to re-appear for a few

Move the Kings, with their defenders, proper men and tall. dghtg during tbe CO(lipletion 0f the necSssary repairs. The only thing

Brandon, Dorset, Ratcliefe, Neville, Capet,, and Carew, \° ^ apprehended is the possibility that the lady herself may get a little

England's champions in the revel, and the tilt-yard too; i damaged in her vocal machinery, and that before her villa is in every

St. Pol, Montmorency, Biron, Fletjranges', and Commtnes, respect ready for her, the public may begin to feel that it is time to say

Farewell! The time has not yet approached, but we recommend the
still attractive favourite to keep her tradesmen up to the mark, if she
wishes to have her villa iu perfect order for her reception, when it is
really time for her to take possession.

Lusty sires, in silk or iron brave alike of mien.
Meteor-like in trailing scarlets Wolsey rides along,
While Lords, proud to serve as vaiiets, at his stirrup throng.

In old time, 'twas in such journeys, with their pomp and pride,
Masques and mummings, jousts and tourneys, kings,not countries vied.

In the persons of their princes nations then were known ; Official Incubation.

What of light that time evinces shines from round the thiotip.
Of the people,—of their willing, working, suffering—nought! Ma. Monsell has confessed that Government has had Mk. Bashley

Good for taxing, they, or killing, while kings spent or fought. Britten's improved shells nine months under consideration. Ihe

presumption might be that the shells were empty, since Government
Times a-e changed. Nor mask nor tourney gilds our sober days; *! has been sitting on them so long without hatching anything, if we were
Kings, like common folks, must journey by the iron ways. 1 not satisfied of the fulness of the shells, and equally convinced of the

For our Queen, of outward honour make we small ado"; i Government's emptiness.

Yet a splendour waits upon her bluff Hal never knew. __--

With no shows nor pageants pressing round her though she move. I

She has gems—a people's blessing; she has guards—their love. tiie adiexix 0f dupfy.

'n their Sovereigns'courteous meeting France and England share, Mr. Duffy has taken farewell of Ireland; and proposes to go to

The nations are repeating vows the monarchs swear. , Australia, there like the hunted ostrich, to hide his head iu the Bush