Punch (29.1855)

September 15, 1855.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. HI

THE BOSTON BABY SHOW. WANTED, THE "VAN."

After Tennyson. The Betting-House scoundrels are making another attempt upon

, „ , „ , -r, , , t_ the forbearance of the police. Thev are working a system of "lists,"

1 went to our Gardens Claude when the Boston babies were shown ; which accordl to ih*Smday Times, is a change of the old system in

I went to our Gardens Claude to criticise beauty and bone ; 0Qe ct onl ° M ig gtm staked but nQ rickets are produced__

Aud my cheerless bachelor lot I abhorr d, and long d to have one ot excepf) we suppo§Pj ,he tickets-of-leave, which are carried by most of

my own. t|,e bet ting-house fraternity. The Sunday Times reluctantly warns its

The Boyal Harmonics I heard on the flute, violin, bassoon; friends that "an open transgression of the law cannot in any case be

Each gay little Mammy-boy coo'd like a bird, while its Mammy humm'd defended." Having preluded, in a wonderful sentence which we dare

it, a tune ■ pretend to disentangle, that " however oppressive and unjust, may

Each infant to nourishment never demurr'd, with cheeks like a harvest he the restraints which legislators in their wisdom may place upon the

moon, liberty of the subject, however unpopular may be their enactments and

inquisitorial their statutes, that love of order and respect of ihe law,

Mothers and nurses a hundred and one, with their charges, sat in array, wbich are supposed to be inbred and involuntary among Englishmen,

But Mary Ann Jackson reign'd not alone as the "Prettiest Girl" ensures their obedience, because it is known that they will be carried

that day ; out with vigour," the journal advises " circumspection," for " however

Full half of the voters bow'd at her throne, while half to her charms unpleasant the fact may sound to ears polite, they (the ears) are under

said "Nay," the eye of the police."

For the heart from a stone or the veriest crone Ellen Bridgeman We should like to see a policeman with polite ears under his eye,

would steal away. especially as it appears to be his duty to carry out Englishmen with

Then I said to Joe Mawer, " Now JoE-here goes, I'll bet you a vigour-carry them out of the betting bouses, we suppose But if

bottle of wine ' nothing worse than eccentric grammar were in question, we should not

Out of ah his fat rivals in all those rows, your Willie will take the presume to mterfere-a journalist knows what kind of composition is

shine - acceptable to the class he addresses. We, however, protest ag-iinst.

From the bridge of his nose to the tip of his toes, he's the 'Finest any kind of expressed or implied toleration being extended, by any

Boy ' of the fine " portion oi tn^ press, to the betting scoundrels, upon whom wre trust

the police will not keep their eyes long, inasmuch asunder Sir Alex-

And the sight of the twin Bays stirr'd the blood of Me. Manager ander Cockburn's admirable fVct, the duty of watching the rascals

Small, may be expeditiously transferred to the keepers of Her Majesty's

So a three-guinea special prize, he stood, for he bow'd to the public's gaols.

call;

But Elizabeth Ann was the tenderest bud,—the " Smallest Baby " ; _ t _ _ , tm,t

of all. QUEEB OBJECTS OF CHABITY.

Then Martha Benton so chubby and neat, won the "Heaviest; The Widows and Orphans of the Clergy can hardly be the sort of

Baby " prize;

'Twill be many a month ere she "feels her feet," if her mild-looking
mother's wise;

For such cherubs a roll on the floor is meet, or a go-cart Paradise.

Queen Bose of the rose-bud garden of girls, of the "Prettiest
Babies," A 1.,

Proud Spilsby need grudge not the ocean its pearis, to compare with

Louise it has none ;
The heir of a hundred Piantagenet earls might deem thee fit bride for

his son.

Well may Mr. Small talk large of this treat, since he mark'd seven
thousand head

Of visitors, passing his check-taker's seat,—and oh ! when I got to bed,
On baby-touches so soft, and sweet my slumbering fancy fed,
And 1 dreamt till morn of their fat little feet, and dimples of white and
red.

j people they are generally supposed, if the following remarks of the
Morning Post, commenting on the "Festival of the Three Choirs," are
correct:—

" Most proper it is that there should be a fund for the Widows and Orphans of
Clergrmen, but is it not a roundabout way of raising it to spend £2,658 in pleasure in
order to give £W0 in charity? Does it not show that, after all, the real objei-t is not
appreciated ? Would not nearly the same people have gone to the same festival had
the collection been for a totally opposite object—say, for the prevention of cruelty to
animals, or the promotion of teetotalism."

Perhaps they would ; but are not the prevention of cruelt y to animals
and the promotion of teetotalism objects more especially opposite tc
the sale of spirituous liquors and the amusement of dog fighting than
to the sustenance and relief of Clergymen's Widows and Orphans ? Is
there any opposition between the Widows' and Orphans' benefit and
the cause of temperance and humanity? Are the relicts and fatherless
children of the Clergy particularly given to gin and ratting? Surely
our aristocratic contemporary could not have said a severer thing of
the abandoned wives and children of the mobility.

TESTIMONIALS WANTED.

The sound men and true of Sheffield are about, to embody their
admiration of their out-speaking member, Arthur Boebuck, in a
Testimonial. We are glad of it. Were they to bestow upon him
another Koh-i-noor, it would only typify, in its unflawed purity, the
high integrity of the senator and the man.

But this is 'he vacation, and are there not other members of Parlia-
ment with claims to testimonials, very significant of their services and
merits ? Shall nothing be bestowed upon Mr. Gladstone, in comme-
moration of his oratorical aid to Bussia? Old PuEGIOMOntanus once
made a fly, so exquisitely constructed that it would use its wings, make
circles, and buzz. Why should not Oxford offer a premium for a me-
chanical spider, with eight diamond eyes, the spider always carrying
eight that, politician-like, he may keep a sharp look-out for all sides ;
a spider that will spin the finest gossamer, every line of film nicely
balancing the other ? Or, if this mechanical achievement be impossible,
why not present to the Ex-Chancellor oe the Exchequer a full-
grown chameleon ?—a logician, poetically said to live on air, ard a
politician by no means warranted of fasi, colours ?

As it is very probable that Mr. John Bright is at Bhyl, North
Wales, and as he must, on the early fall of Sebastopol, write another
letter from the sea-side to Manchester, in condemnation of the
wickedness of the bombardment, we think a bran new pen from the
wing of a Bussian eagle could not fail to assist him, even in his best
moments of inspiration.

"IHE RES IH t i

A Correspondent wants to know, whether, considering the great
utility of the ocean, poets are not wrong to call it