DOI issue:
September 22, 1855
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0125
September 22, iS55.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
113
THE ROUND HAT.
1. When it is all very well. 2. When it is objectionable.
3. When the Police ought to interfere.
AN UNWARRANTABLE AFFAIR.
Can this be true ?
"We have now found out that Policeman Hicks, ofRoydon, had no
warrant or summons when he took us before Mr. Hemming, on
Thursday the 9th of August; we thought that the piece ot paper which
he produced at the time was one. Bui in consequence of the state-
ments which appeared in the newspapers, the chief constable for the
county of Essex, Captain M'Habdy, sent to the superintendent of
police at Epping, Me. Godwin, on Saturday, the 25th of August, to
know if there was a warrant issued for Policeman Hicks to take us
before the Rev. Mr. Hemming on the 9th of August, when he, Mr.
Godwin, went to the Rev. Mr. Hemming at Parndon, on Sunday the 26th
of August, aud got from him a warrant, dated the 7th of August,
which ho sent to Chelmsford to Captain M'Habdy, thereby deceiving
him, and making him believe that all was done regularly, which turns
out now not to have been the case."
The above is the statement of Thomas Collin. Surely
it is not understood rightly if it appear to represent Mr.
Hemming as making out a warrant on the 26th August
and dating it on the 7th, in order to assist the superin-
tendent of police in deceiving Ids chief. We know that
Mr. Hemming committed the Collins; nevertheless, we
should think be would have been afraid to commit a
written act—which we forbear to denominate.
Nos Poma Natamus.
The Times'' critic states, that at the dance with which the
cider aristocracy of Hereford finished their musical festival,
great, and in fact, impertinent precautions were taken to
exclude a Reporter from the floor. This showed prudence,
if not manners ; for the conversation of the class in question
can scarcely be up to reporting mark, if it be true that one
of the Ladies Patronesses thought it was "very low" to
give Mario " a song about Cider." Her hearers were
puzzled, but at last, an unusually acute short-haired Here-
ford discovered that the accomplished lady had been puzzling
over the programme, on which was (a little carelessly
printed), thus—" La cidar em lo manor
Notice to Mauiners.—By an order from his Imperial
Majesty, Alexander the Second, the Harbour of Sebas-
topol has bren constituted a Sink Port.
THE ROYAL ROAD THROUGH ST. JAMES'S PARK.
Scene—A Castle in the Scottish Highlands.
An Illustrious Pair at Breakfast.
I1,. Lady {throwing dov)n the Times'). How very provoking!
11. Consort {pausing in the middle of a venison pasty). Hein ?
La. Where do you thmk, Papa, those stupid men propose making
the new road across St. James's Park ?
Cons. Mamma, I cannot conceive how they could possibly take a
wrong direction.
La. Would you believe it ?—they are actually going to cut the Park
in two by a road to lead from Birdcage Walk right through the Gardens
to a point between St. James's Palace and Marlborough House !
Cons. But they will have the ornamental water in their way. Aha !
La. They are going to throw a bridge over that. Fancy !
Cons. What! cut up those beautiful gardens, disturb their quiet,
disfigure them with a great unsightly bridge ? Oh, whai terrible want
of taste and judgment to create a nuisance and establish an eyesore in
that delightful spot!
La. -So needlessly, too, since the proper line for the new road is
obvious.
Cons. In front of Buckingham Palace, of course ?
La. Undoubtedly. The railing would keep the traffic sufficiently far
from the Palace, and the sight without the noise would be agreeable.
Cons. I like the sight of the noble British Public.
La. I should think you did—the dear, generous Public! Such a
good, kind, delightful Public as that!—to have one of its favourite,
places of resort spoiled! Oh! I've no patience with that stupid
board.
Cons. The board must be a wooden board.
1m. {remonstratively). Oh ! But it's too serious a matter for joking.
What will our friends over the water think of such a barbarism ? What
svill Napoleon say the next time he comes ? Fancy anybodv proposing
to him to bisect—isn't, that the word?—the Place d'e la Concorde !
Cons. He would probably bisect the booby for his pains.
La. Well—this thing must nor. be. Only think how happily we ate
••ituated in comparison with our friend whose name 1 mentioned just
now, and others—all our headwork done for us—no trouble beyond a
little ceremony—wanting no gratification that an opulent nation can
bestow—we, surrounded with every comfort and convenience, must not
allow of any interference with the pleasure and enjoyment of our
Public. We can do no wrong, ourselves ; imd we won't, if we can
help it, let others do it.
Cons. A thoroughfare in front of the Palace would be so much
pleasanter. How pleased I should be if yonder road, which winds so
tar around our dwelling, could be brought within a shorter distance of
our windows. What finer figure in a princely landscape than a
picturesque peasantry ?
La. Spoken with that feeling for the Fine Arts for which you are
celebrated. Well, as I said, we must put a stop to this. Pray write
instantly to Sir Benjamin, and tell him we say so.
Cons. I will, mine love, so soon as ever I have done my breakfast.
Holy Russian Fire.
Gortschakoff calls the fire sustained by the wretches under bis
command at Sebastopol a feu d' Enfer. What was the fire which the
Russian miscreants poured on the Turkish fleet, at Sinope ? What does
Gortschakoff call the fire which his murderous countrymen directed
at Lieutenant Geneste's crew, and their flag of truce? Probably
the Russian gunpowder does not smell of brimstone. Feu de del, we
suppose, is what Gortschakoff denominates the fire of his angels.
the right duke doing the right work.
The Duke of Northumberland is making noble amends for his
Admiralty mistakes. We learn that he is expending £50,000 a-year on
new cottages, farm-houses, draining, and so forth. Long may his
Grace remain out of the Admiralty to serve his country !
the stick s progress.
The stick continues to make wonderful progress throughout Naples.
" g!
It sticks at nobody and sticks at nothing 1
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
113
THE ROUND HAT.
1. When it is all very well. 2. When it is objectionable.
3. When the Police ought to interfere.
AN UNWARRANTABLE AFFAIR.
Can this be true ?
"We have now found out that Policeman Hicks, ofRoydon, had no
warrant or summons when he took us before Mr. Hemming, on
Thursday the 9th of August; we thought that the piece ot paper which
he produced at the time was one. Bui in consequence of the state-
ments which appeared in the newspapers, the chief constable for the
county of Essex, Captain M'Habdy, sent to the superintendent of
police at Epping, Me. Godwin, on Saturday, the 25th of August, to
know if there was a warrant issued for Policeman Hicks to take us
before the Rev. Mr. Hemming on the 9th of August, when he, Mr.
Godwin, went to the Rev. Mr. Hemming at Parndon, on Sunday the 26th
of August, aud got from him a warrant, dated the 7th of August,
which ho sent to Chelmsford to Captain M'Habdy, thereby deceiving
him, and making him believe that all was done regularly, which turns
out now not to have been the case."
The above is the statement of Thomas Collin. Surely
it is not understood rightly if it appear to represent Mr.
Hemming as making out a warrant on the 26th August
and dating it on the 7th, in order to assist the superin-
tendent of police in deceiving Ids chief. We know that
Mr. Hemming committed the Collins; nevertheless, we
should think be would have been afraid to commit a
written act—which we forbear to denominate.
Nos Poma Natamus.
The Times'' critic states, that at the dance with which the
cider aristocracy of Hereford finished their musical festival,
great, and in fact, impertinent precautions were taken to
exclude a Reporter from the floor. This showed prudence,
if not manners ; for the conversation of the class in question
can scarcely be up to reporting mark, if it be true that one
of the Ladies Patronesses thought it was "very low" to
give Mario " a song about Cider." Her hearers were
puzzled, but at last, an unusually acute short-haired Here-
ford discovered that the accomplished lady had been puzzling
over the programme, on which was (a little carelessly
printed), thus—" La cidar em lo manor
Notice to Mauiners.—By an order from his Imperial
Majesty, Alexander the Second, the Harbour of Sebas-
topol has bren constituted a Sink Port.
THE ROYAL ROAD THROUGH ST. JAMES'S PARK.
Scene—A Castle in the Scottish Highlands.
An Illustrious Pair at Breakfast.
I1,. Lady {throwing dov)n the Times'). How very provoking!
11. Consort {pausing in the middle of a venison pasty). Hein ?
La. Where do you thmk, Papa, those stupid men propose making
the new road across St. James's Park ?
Cons. Mamma, I cannot conceive how they could possibly take a
wrong direction.
La. Would you believe it ?—they are actually going to cut the Park
in two by a road to lead from Birdcage Walk right through the Gardens
to a point between St. James's Palace and Marlborough House !
Cons. But they will have the ornamental water in their way. Aha !
La. They are going to throw a bridge over that. Fancy !
Cons. What! cut up those beautiful gardens, disturb their quiet,
disfigure them with a great unsightly bridge ? Oh, whai terrible want
of taste and judgment to create a nuisance and establish an eyesore in
that delightful spot!
La. -So needlessly, too, since the proper line for the new road is
obvious.
Cons. In front of Buckingham Palace, of course ?
La. Undoubtedly. The railing would keep the traffic sufficiently far
from the Palace, and the sight without the noise would be agreeable.
Cons. I like the sight of the noble British Public.
La. I should think you did—the dear, generous Public! Such a
good, kind, delightful Public as that!—to have one of its favourite,
places of resort spoiled! Oh! I've no patience with that stupid
board.
Cons. The board must be a wooden board.
1m. {remonstratively). Oh ! But it's too serious a matter for joking.
What will our friends over the water think of such a barbarism ? What
svill Napoleon say the next time he comes ? Fancy anybodv proposing
to him to bisect—isn't, that the word?—the Place d'e la Concorde !
Cons. He would probably bisect the booby for his pains.
La. Well—this thing must nor. be. Only think how happily we ate
••ituated in comparison with our friend whose name 1 mentioned just
now, and others—all our headwork done for us—no trouble beyond a
little ceremony—wanting no gratification that an opulent nation can
bestow—we, surrounded with every comfort and convenience, must not
allow of any interference with the pleasure and enjoyment of our
Public. We can do no wrong, ourselves ; imd we won't, if we can
help it, let others do it.
Cons. A thoroughfare in front of the Palace would be so much
pleasanter. How pleased I should be if yonder road, which winds so
tar around our dwelling, could be brought within a shorter distance of
our windows. What finer figure in a princely landscape than a
picturesque peasantry ?
La. Spoken with that feeling for the Fine Arts for which you are
celebrated. Well, as I said, we must put a stop to this. Pray write
instantly to Sir Benjamin, and tell him we say so.
Cons. I will, mine love, so soon as ever I have done my breakfast.
Holy Russian Fire.
Gortschakoff calls the fire sustained by the wretches under bis
command at Sebastopol a feu d' Enfer. What was the fire which the
Russian miscreants poured on the Turkish fleet, at Sinope ? What does
Gortschakoff call the fire which his murderous countrymen directed
at Lieutenant Geneste's crew, and their flag of truce? Probably
the Russian gunpowder does not smell of brimstone. Feu de del, we
suppose, is what Gortschakoff denominates the fire of his angels.
the right duke doing the right work.
The Duke of Northumberland is making noble amends for his
Admiralty mistakes. We learn that he is expending £50,000 a-year on
new cottages, farm-houses, draining, and so forth. Long may his
Grace remain out of the Admiralty to serve his country !
the stick s progress.
The stick continues to make wonderful progress throughout Naples.
" g!
It sticks at nobody and sticks at nothing 1