DOI issue:
October 27, 1855
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0176
164
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 27, 1855.
LAD OF OBSERVATION.
Well, lie's jest the right sort o chap for a—wot-de-call-em ?—Pryoneer. Why only shove Hm
fust through a hedge, and he 'd make a gap hig enough for a whole Jtedgmint to march through."
MELT YOVR BELLS.
The Builder usually contains capital matter,
but we shall feel particularly indebted to Mr.
Godwin to take care and exclude in future any
such monstrous proposition, or rather, brace of
propositions, as has been recently propounded
by one of his correspondents. This unfortunate
Bedlamite or Hanwellian suggests that all new
Churches should be furnished with bells, because
" they tend to diffuse cheerfulness." We have in-
dicated the habitual residence of such a writer, and
need say nothing to him ; but inasmuch as every-
body admits that, the bells of the old Churches
in London (rung and tolled that muddled
ringers and dirty sextons may grasp certain fees)
are one of the greatest nuisances of the day; and
masmuc l as the vicinity to a new Church, with
a Bell prevents houses and lodgings from being
let, except to the unwary, who get let in for a
term's damage to their nerves. We rather marvel
that an enlightened advocate of civilisation, l'ke
the Builder, shoul 1 have inserted such a letter.
Let us rather melt our bells into cannon, that
they may be "fired " at the common enemy, and
our congregations, who assemble for worship
without the aid of these noisy contrivances for
continuing fees and beer to humbugs, will have
additional cause for thankfulness for national
triumphs.
Calumny on the Erring.
We have been requested by the solicitor of
Crowbar Bill, the burglar, captured in the
house of a distinguished Teetotaller, to state
that the offender was not found drunk in the wine-
cellar of the premises entered. The unfortunate
man declares that he never got further than the
cupboard.
"OUR PARK'S" PARLIAMENT:—PRICE OF BREAD.
A. few earnest patriots have, for a Sunday or two, returned them-
selves to Hyde Park, as representatives of the wrongs of the people.
Duly contemptuous of all property qualification, they have deemed it
sufficient to feel in its fullest, influence the incitement of their mission,
and therefore, like much-moved Quakers, have given tongue simply
because they could not help it. As it is likely that the Hyde Park
Parliament may, for awhile at least-, be prorogued by the police, we
think it the more incumbent upon us to save from oblivion—(putting
t hem in decent language as in the case with St. Stephen's) the few
remarkable pithy speeches delivered on the passing occasions. At
four o'clock the Park assembled, when a Speaker took one of the
highest trees.
Mr. Chipps (joiner), believed that the rise in the price of bread was
solely caused by the preposterous number of bakers. The only way to
bring down the loaf would be to hang up a baker. {Cheers.) As
bakers increased, loaves must go up; or otherwise, how were the
bakers, with their expensive wives and luxurious families to be sup-
poited? It mattered nothing that we had plentiful harvests: the
greater the growth of wheat, the greater the number of bakers. He
considered bakers to be the poppies among the corn, and did not be-
lieve that the loaf would fall to its natural price, until a baker was given
to the people to be hanged, one at least every morning. {Cheers.)
Mr. Bltjfe (bellows-mender) said that his friend—for although a
nobleman, he was not proud, and had no objection to call him his
friend;—his friend the Marquis or Granby, had hit the right nail
upon the head when he declared that the Russian War had been
wholly and altogether brought to our shores by the Electric Tele-
graph. He thought the same with regard to the dear loaf. When
all the ends of the earth could tell one another the price of corn,
why, of course, all the corndealers and all the bakers would lay their
heads together to keep the figure up. He would say, though he
knew very welL that Mr. Chowler would not agree with him—he
would say, cut adrift the telegraph, and the loaf would come down to
its natural obscurity.
Mr. Oincinn atus Smith (toyman) had but one opinion. The price
of bread was kept up by the cakes of the children of the aristocracy,
and the muffins and crumpets of the bloated fundholder. There wouirl
be no true equality, until everybody from Windsor Castle down to
Mutton Hill, was made to eat nothing but good, honest seconds. It
was a known fact that the Royal cream-colours were fed upon nothing
but the best twists twenty times bolted. {Shame.) If a footman or
two with a twopenny buster hung round his neck was hung up every
morning when the rolls were drawn, bread couldn't but fall, as the
flunkey went up. {Laughter and Cheers)
Mr. Danton Jones had but one opinion; and, were that opinion
his head—that opinioi was at the service of his country. We owed
the present price of bread to two things; the visit of the man
Louis-Napoleon to Kngland,—and the starched collars and rufflers
of what glorious old Cobbett called the sons and daughters of corrup-
tion. The gorging in the City had first created a dearth of corn, and
the collars kept in up. He would confine every swell to a diet of his
own collar {laughter) and seize all the funds in the Bank of England,
as he knew, put by against a rainy day by the Emperor op the
Prench.
A man here rose, and demanded a hearing. He said—" My friends,
I am a baker, and-"
But no more was heard. The ind'gnant multitude gathered about
him, and—although several tatters identified by his friends as his,
have been picked up—no vestige of the man himself has, up to the
present time, been returned to his home.
Glasgow and Ayr and—Kensington.
Scotland is about to send across the Tweed a body of Missionaries
to convert the Sabbath-breaking Southrons. The unco' gude "Free
Synod of Glasgow and Ayr" have resolved to memorialise the Queen,
praying her to make dumb the music in Kensington Gardens on
Sundays. Will Kensington quietly suffer its brains to be thus
blown out by a Glasgow bagpipe ? We think not.
form and reform.
Sir B. Hall has been giving the people seats in the Regent's Park.
This is a good beginning, but the seats are out of Parliament. Let Sir
Benjamin now try his ministerial hand at giving the people seats in
Parliament.
important from greece.
The Kisg of Greece has changed his Ministry! It is a remarkable
fact, and one of almost equal importance to Europe, that on the same
day he also changed his—shirt.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 27, 1855.
LAD OF OBSERVATION.
Well, lie's jest the right sort o chap for a—wot-de-call-em ?—Pryoneer. Why only shove Hm
fust through a hedge, and he 'd make a gap hig enough for a whole Jtedgmint to march through."
MELT YOVR BELLS.
The Builder usually contains capital matter,
but we shall feel particularly indebted to Mr.
Godwin to take care and exclude in future any
such monstrous proposition, or rather, brace of
propositions, as has been recently propounded
by one of his correspondents. This unfortunate
Bedlamite or Hanwellian suggests that all new
Churches should be furnished with bells, because
" they tend to diffuse cheerfulness." We have in-
dicated the habitual residence of such a writer, and
need say nothing to him ; but inasmuch as every-
body admits that, the bells of the old Churches
in London (rung and tolled that muddled
ringers and dirty sextons may grasp certain fees)
are one of the greatest nuisances of the day; and
masmuc l as the vicinity to a new Church, with
a Bell prevents houses and lodgings from being
let, except to the unwary, who get let in for a
term's damage to their nerves. We rather marvel
that an enlightened advocate of civilisation, l'ke
the Builder, shoul 1 have inserted such a letter.
Let us rather melt our bells into cannon, that
they may be "fired " at the common enemy, and
our congregations, who assemble for worship
without the aid of these noisy contrivances for
continuing fees and beer to humbugs, will have
additional cause for thankfulness for national
triumphs.
Calumny on the Erring.
We have been requested by the solicitor of
Crowbar Bill, the burglar, captured in the
house of a distinguished Teetotaller, to state
that the offender was not found drunk in the wine-
cellar of the premises entered. The unfortunate
man declares that he never got further than the
cupboard.
"OUR PARK'S" PARLIAMENT:—PRICE OF BREAD.
A. few earnest patriots have, for a Sunday or two, returned them-
selves to Hyde Park, as representatives of the wrongs of the people.
Duly contemptuous of all property qualification, they have deemed it
sufficient to feel in its fullest, influence the incitement of their mission,
and therefore, like much-moved Quakers, have given tongue simply
because they could not help it. As it is likely that the Hyde Park
Parliament may, for awhile at least-, be prorogued by the police, we
think it the more incumbent upon us to save from oblivion—(putting
t hem in decent language as in the case with St. Stephen's) the few
remarkable pithy speeches delivered on the passing occasions. At
four o'clock the Park assembled, when a Speaker took one of the
highest trees.
Mr. Chipps (joiner), believed that the rise in the price of bread was
solely caused by the preposterous number of bakers. The only way to
bring down the loaf would be to hang up a baker. {Cheers.) As
bakers increased, loaves must go up; or otherwise, how were the
bakers, with their expensive wives and luxurious families to be sup-
poited? It mattered nothing that we had plentiful harvests: the
greater the growth of wheat, the greater the number of bakers. He
considered bakers to be the poppies among the corn, and did not be-
lieve that the loaf would fall to its natural price, until a baker was given
to the people to be hanged, one at least every morning. {Cheers.)
Mr. Bltjfe (bellows-mender) said that his friend—for although a
nobleman, he was not proud, and had no objection to call him his
friend;—his friend the Marquis or Granby, had hit the right nail
upon the head when he declared that the Russian War had been
wholly and altogether brought to our shores by the Electric Tele-
graph. He thought the same with regard to the dear loaf. When
all the ends of the earth could tell one another the price of corn,
why, of course, all the corndealers and all the bakers would lay their
heads together to keep the figure up. He would say, though he
knew very welL that Mr. Chowler would not agree with him—he
would say, cut adrift the telegraph, and the loaf would come down to
its natural obscurity.
Mr. Oincinn atus Smith (toyman) had but one opinion. The price
of bread was kept up by the cakes of the children of the aristocracy,
and the muffins and crumpets of the bloated fundholder. There wouirl
be no true equality, until everybody from Windsor Castle down to
Mutton Hill, was made to eat nothing but good, honest seconds. It
was a known fact that the Royal cream-colours were fed upon nothing
but the best twists twenty times bolted. {Shame.) If a footman or
two with a twopenny buster hung round his neck was hung up every
morning when the rolls were drawn, bread couldn't but fall, as the
flunkey went up. {Laughter and Cheers)
Mr. Danton Jones had but one opinion; and, were that opinion
his head—that opinioi was at the service of his country. We owed
the present price of bread to two things; the visit of the man
Louis-Napoleon to Kngland,—and the starched collars and rufflers
of what glorious old Cobbett called the sons and daughters of corrup-
tion. The gorging in the City had first created a dearth of corn, and
the collars kept in up. He would confine every swell to a diet of his
own collar {laughter) and seize all the funds in the Bank of England,
as he knew, put by against a rainy day by the Emperor op the
Prench.
A man here rose, and demanded a hearing. He said—" My friends,
I am a baker, and-"
But no more was heard. The ind'gnant multitude gathered about
him, and—although several tatters identified by his friends as his,
have been picked up—no vestige of the man himself has, up to the
present time, been returned to his home.
Glasgow and Ayr and—Kensington.
Scotland is about to send across the Tweed a body of Missionaries
to convert the Sabbath-breaking Southrons. The unco' gude "Free
Synod of Glasgow and Ayr" have resolved to memorialise the Queen,
praying her to make dumb the music in Kensington Gardens on
Sundays. Will Kensington quietly suffer its brains to be thus
blown out by a Glasgow bagpipe ? We think not.
form and reform.
Sir B. Hall has been giving the people seats in the Regent's Park.
This is a good beginning, but the seats are out of Parliament. Let Sir
Benjamin now try his ministerial hand at giving the people seats in
Parliament.
important from greece.
The Kisg of Greece has changed his Ministry! It is a remarkable
fact, and one of almost equal importance to Europe, that on the same
day he also changed his—shirt.