DOI Heft:
November 10, 1855
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16616#0206
194 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November ]0, 1855.
ARMY FASHIONS FOR NOVEMBER.
Wings hitherto have only pertained to the army collec-
tively, drawn up in battle array; but the individual soldier,
if we are rightly informed, will, in the case of a particular
regiment, very soon be, if he is not already, in possession of
at least something very like those appendages.
We believe it has been determined, by an illustrious
Field-Marshal to make a change in the uniform of Her
Majesty's Life Guards; which will impart to those gallant
fellows an appearance closely resembling that of Cochin-
China fowls.
I This result will be obtained by the investment of the
I military man in a very short tunic, which will stick out
■ laterally in a most ridiculous manner at the hips ; and, in
■ combination with the thickness of look about the legs
occasioned by the jack-boots, especially as the lower ex-
tremities of this corps are also very long, will suggest a
strong resemblance to that species of poultry.
The aiguillettes, also, we are told, are to be removed, by
the command of the illustrious Field-Marshal, from all the
uniforms, in order to distinguish them from his own, which
will retain those ornaments. There is some show of reason
for this arrangement, if it has been made; for the
aiguillettes form the only military distinction that the
illustrious Field-Marshal has acquired.
The Field-Marshal has further, we believe, ordained that
the officers shall wear their pouches when in full uniform
on all occasions, including the nobility and gentry's balls,
for which the pouches are not generally considered suitable.
The principal reason for this change is said to be that tbe
Field-Marshal has so willed it.
The Field-Marshal has not changed the Life-Guardsman's
uniform to orange tawny. If he has made the other change;,
he had better add this to them, and complete the resen -
blance of ihese fighting cocks to the fowls of Cochin Chins.
A GEOGRAPHICAL JOKE
Impertinent Page (late from the dining-room). "I say, Cookey and Soosan, you
make a precious puss about a flea,—how 'd yer like to be where the
Black Sea Sailors is now?"
Susan. "Where's that, Imferance?"
Page. "Why, Master says it's where the Bug and the Nipper (Dneiper)
meet in one bkd!" [Sensation and loud cries of " Oh 1"
Walls have not always Ears.
We maliciously enjoyed tbe dilemma of an organ-player
the other day. An obvious stranger to the English language,
the Italian monster was grinding away opposite a Deaf
Asylum, and went on pouring out tune after tune, evidently
wondering to himself that he made no impression upon tbe
establishment. Occasionally he would whistle to enhance
the discord, but not a window of the obdurate house was
opened, not a servant appeared at the door to pay him for
"moving on." When we left, he had been there full ten
minutes, and he may be there now for what we know.
THE PASS OF THE PRINT-SHOPS.
Whatever progress the War may be making now abroad, it is daily
more and more stopping progress here at home. The blockades which
we have maintained in the Black Sea and the Baltic have, we fancy,
been productive to the enemy of but trifling inconvenience, compared
to that which we are suffering from those in London. Every print-
shop that one passes—or rather that one doesn't—of course has its
window full of "Battle-scenes" and " Illustrations of the War," and
the crowds who stand to look at them are becoming, to less curious and
leisurely pedestrians, what may be correctly called a standing nuisance.
By careful notes and calculations we have ascertained that, on an
average, we are now precisely sixteen minutes and three-quarters longer
walking to our office than we used to be formerly, before the War began :
and this serious delay would doubtless be much greater, if we were at
all less reckhss of our dignity and coat-tails in the crowds we have to
crush through.
We must be distinctly understood, however, that in noticing this
nuisance, we have not the slightest wish that the police should inter-
fere, nor the remotest notion of suggesting that the shops in question
should, for the time being, be asked to keep their shutters up. We
would ever be among the last to deprive the British public of the least
of its privileges ; and although we may suspect that very many of these
" authentic sketches from the seat of War" were executed in reality on
a camp-stool down at Margate, we have no desire to stop their being
publicly exhibited, without any charge except the rush to get a look at
them. At the same time, however, as a matter somewhat of importance
to the nation, we think it right to state that, while the crowds continue,
we shall consider it a duty to our family to have our ribs insured, and
shall conceive ourselves injured if we are left to pay the premiums. As
it is at present, the Pass of the Print-shops is "to us a daily struggle
fully equalling in danger the Pass of Thermopylae.
THE LA.MBTON BABIES AGAIN.
Mr. Punch is happy to learn that he has done some good by calling
attention to the frightful peril to which the country was exposed, by its
being left possible that an Earl oe Durham who did not inherit by
aristocratic succession, might some day legislate for the country. An
officially authorised person writes to say, that the blue ribbon which
the elder twin used to wear, in proof of his primogeniture, has been
rejected; and that the babies are now distinguished, the one by " a
bracelet with a ruby," the other by a similar ornament "with a
topaz." This is better, supposing, first, that the mischief has not
been already done; secondly, that the family can remember which jewel
belongs to which baby; and. thirdly, that the bracelets are annealed
round the children's wrists (like the collar round the neck of Gurth in
Ivanhoe); so that when the infants are washed, the ornament cannot
be removed. These things understood, the Constitution and the House
of Lords are rather safer; but Mr. Punch confesses that, with his
devotion to the aristocracy, and his abiding and abounding faith in the
mystic influence of primogeniture, he should have preferred the tatoo
suggested by himself. However, he has now done his duty, and will
merely wish the rightful heir and his brother happy minorities, and
joyous coming of ages in 1876, when Mr. Punch proposes to offer some
further remarks upon the subject, which may by that time be capable
of being treated in a varied point of view.
Ingenious Suggestion.
The alleged difficulty of finding a brace of noblemen who would con-
descend to be Post-Master-General, and Colonial Secretary, might have
been lightened by fusing the two officers into one, and then the Colonies
might have a chance of what they say seldom or never happens to them
now, namely, the delivery of their letters and newspapers.
ARMY FASHIONS FOR NOVEMBER.
Wings hitherto have only pertained to the army collec-
tively, drawn up in battle array; but the individual soldier,
if we are rightly informed, will, in the case of a particular
regiment, very soon be, if he is not already, in possession of
at least something very like those appendages.
We believe it has been determined, by an illustrious
Field-Marshal to make a change in the uniform of Her
Majesty's Life Guards; which will impart to those gallant
fellows an appearance closely resembling that of Cochin-
China fowls.
I This result will be obtained by the investment of the
I military man in a very short tunic, which will stick out
■ laterally in a most ridiculous manner at the hips ; and, in
■ combination with the thickness of look about the legs
occasioned by the jack-boots, especially as the lower ex-
tremities of this corps are also very long, will suggest a
strong resemblance to that species of poultry.
The aiguillettes, also, we are told, are to be removed, by
the command of the illustrious Field-Marshal, from all the
uniforms, in order to distinguish them from his own, which
will retain those ornaments. There is some show of reason
for this arrangement, if it has been made; for the
aiguillettes form the only military distinction that the
illustrious Field-Marshal has acquired.
The Field-Marshal has further, we believe, ordained that
the officers shall wear their pouches when in full uniform
on all occasions, including the nobility and gentry's balls,
for which the pouches are not generally considered suitable.
The principal reason for this change is said to be that tbe
Field-Marshal has so willed it.
The Field-Marshal has not changed the Life-Guardsman's
uniform to orange tawny. If he has made the other change;,
he had better add this to them, and complete the resen -
blance of ihese fighting cocks to the fowls of Cochin Chins.
A GEOGRAPHICAL JOKE
Impertinent Page (late from the dining-room). "I say, Cookey and Soosan, you
make a precious puss about a flea,—how 'd yer like to be where the
Black Sea Sailors is now?"
Susan. "Where's that, Imferance?"
Page. "Why, Master says it's where the Bug and the Nipper (Dneiper)
meet in one bkd!" [Sensation and loud cries of " Oh 1"
Walls have not always Ears.
We maliciously enjoyed tbe dilemma of an organ-player
the other day. An obvious stranger to the English language,
the Italian monster was grinding away opposite a Deaf
Asylum, and went on pouring out tune after tune, evidently
wondering to himself that he made no impression upon tbe
establishment. Occasionally he would whistle to enhance
the discord, but not a window of the obdurate house was
opened, not a servant appeared at the door to pay him for
"moving on." When we left, he had been there full ten
minutes, and he may be there now for what we know.
THE PASS OF THE PRINT-SHOPS.
Whatever progress the War may be making now abroad, it is daily
more and more stopping progress here at home. The blockades which
we have maintained in the Black Sea and the Baltic have, we fancy,
been productive to the enemy of but trifling inconvenience, compared
to that which we are suffering from those in London. Every print-
shop that one passes—or rather that one doesn't—of course has its
window full of "Battle-scenes" and " Illustrations of the War," and
the crowds who stand to look at them are becoming, to less curious and
leisurely pedestrians, what may be correctly called a standing nuisance.
By careful notes and calculations we have ascertained that, on an
average, we are now precisely sixteen minutes and three-quarters longer
walking to our office than we used to be formerly, before the War began :
and this serious delay would doubtless be much greater, if we were at
all less reckhss of our dignity and coat-tails in the crowds we have to
crush through.
We must be distinctly understood, however, that in noticing this
nuisance, we have not the slightest wish that the police should inter-
fere, nor the remotest notion of suggesting that the shops in question
should, for the time being, be asked to keep their shutters up. We
would ever be among the last to deprive the British public of the least
of its privileges ; and although we may suspect that very many of these
" authentic sketches from the seat of War" were executed in reality on
a camp-stool down at Margate, we have no desire to stop their being
publicly exhibited, without any charge except the rush to get a look at
them. At the same time, however, as a matter somewhat of importance
to the nation, we think it right to state that, while the crowds continue,
we shall consider it a duty to our family to have our ribs insured, and
shall conceive ourselves injured if we are left to pay the premiums. As
it is at present, the Pass of the Print-shops is "to us a daily struggle
fully equalling in danger the Pass of Thermopylae.
THE LA.MBTON BABIES AGAIN.
Mr. Punch is happy to learn that he has done some good by calling
attention to the frightful peril to which the country was exposed, by its
being left possible that an Earl oe Durham who did not inherit by
aristocratic succession, might some day legislate for the country. An
officially authorised person writes to say, that the blue ribbon which
the elder twin used to wear, in proof of his primogeniture, has been
rejected; and that the babies are now distinguished, the one by " a
bracelet with a ruby," the other by a similar ornament "with a
topaz." This is better, supposing, first, that the mischief has not
been already done; secondly, that the family can remember which jewel
belongs to which baby; and. thirdly, that the bracelets are annealed
round the children's wrists (like the collar round the neck of Gurth in
Ivanhoe); so that when the infants are washed, the ornament cannot
be removed. These things understood, the Constitution and the House
of Lords are rather safer; but Mr. Punch confesses that, with his
devotion to the aristocracy, and his abiding and abounding faith in the
mystic influence of primogeniture, he should have preferred the tatoo
suggested by himself. However, he has now done his duty, and will
merely wish the rightful heir and his brother happy minorities, and
joyous coming of ages in 1876, when Mr. Punch proposes to offer some
further remarks upon the subject, which may by that time be capable
of being treated in a varied point of view.
Ingenious Suggestion.
The alleged difficulty of finding a brace of noblemen who would con-
descend to be Post-Master-General, and Colonial Secretary, might have
been lightened by fusing the two officers into one, and then the Colonies
might have a chance of what they say seldom or never happens to them
now, namely, the delivery of their letters and newspapers.